Title: Lead the Way
Author: Roguie/ SunSpecOps/ Danae Bowen
Fandom: Eureka
Pairing: Jo/Zane
Rating: K+/G
Summary: Jo awakens in the infirmary with Zane at her bedside. With every inch that he moves closer, a new shard of her resolve breaks away. He is her penance for a debt as yet unpaid. AU Post Lift-off.
Spoilers: I've seen it all, so it's always safe to say up to and including whatever I know. At least up to Lift-off anyway.
Disclaimer: Eureka doesn't belong to me, I just like to borrow the characters and mutate their inner voices. Please don't sue, my house is small, my car is useless and my dogs are pains in the arse, but they're all I have.
A/N: First Eureka fiction; hoping it stands up to the competition. :P All mistakes are my own as it's currently 2am and I should've been in bed hours ago. Why do I do this on nights that precede an 8am start time at work? /sigh.
~~~E~~~
Wake up, JoJo, I need you.
They were words she never thought she'd hear again, so when her mind turned to Zane, she thought nothing of it, letting his voice work it's way into her dream, pulling her lips into a gentle smile, a soft sigh of wistfulness escaping between them.
"You have no idea how hot that is, JoJo."
His voice, his whisper, his scent, his breath against her ear as her eyes flew open, meeting the dancing blue gaze of her one true love… mostly.
"Heya, Lupo, nice of you to rejoin the land of the living." His voice was louder now, the hardness in his tone, that once upon a time he hadn't possessed, ringing through loud and clear.
This time when she sighed it was in exasperation and with a tinge of heartbreak. She said the only thing that came to mind. "Shut it, Donovan."
"Sorry, lover, no doors." His gaze hardened and she felt physically pinned to the bed from the sheer force of it. "That is what we were, right, Lupo? Lovers?" There was no warmth in his smile as he pushed, Fargo's "dying" words playing in his mind relentlessly.
Her fingers curled into her palm as she allowed her surroundings to filter through the haze, taking in the busy infirmary, realizing what must have happened the exact moment pain exploded behind her eyes and she winced. "Ow!" It was the whimper she hated, the one where her voice broke, grew soft and fragile even as she fought with all her being to stop the tears from filling her eyes. The same whimper that used to break Zane, that would soften his expression and force him to take her into his arms, his gentleness chasing away just enough agony to make it all seem worthwhile.
It seemed immunity hadn't crossed the timeline with indifference. His jaw tightened at the sound and his eyes shone with a flash of something.. Regret? Sorrow? Reciprocated pain? Something soft and unusual for this Zane to reflect in his normally stoic gaze.
He cocked his head to the side, mulling over the new feelings flowing through him even as his lips curled into an annoyed smirk. "Too soon?" He shrugged. "Whatever. I figured since you aren't getting out of here any time soon, now's as good a time as any to have that little talk you've been avoiding."
She snorted indelicately, her pain chased to the back of her mind not by his gentleness now but by his relentless picking at the one topic she wanted nothing more than to pack into a box and never look back upon. It was a shame fate didn't seem to share her views.
"So, just so I understand… you knock me out just so you can hold me hostage in bed and try to push all the buttons you think you can get away with until I'm strong enough to kick your ass? Is that the plan?"
He sniffed, glancing down at his fingertips uneasily. "Who're you kidding, Lupo?" He leaned forward, edging dangerously close to her personal space, drinking in her breath, breathing in her scent as his cool blue gaze drowned in the ocean of liquid caramel glaring back. "I think you just want me to feel bad for you, laying there all hurt and ow-like. You're playing on my pity, thinking I'll let you out of that bed so you can escape." He leaned closer still until his words forced his lips to brush over her cheek, against the soft lobe of her ear. "Except, there's a flaw in your little scheme. I don't let a woman out of bed until we're both extremely satisfied, JoJo. 'Course from what I'm told, you should know that first hand."
She closed her eyes tightly, fighting against the haze that began as he leaned into her, clamping down on the memories that drew an involuntary flush to her dark skin. She struggled through pain and arousal, each demanding far more energy than she had at hand even as hot tears threatened to spill past their confinement.
"Please," she whispered, the word escaping in a tone so broken that for a single moment Zane felt his heart stall in his chest, air frozen in his lungs, and an inexplicable sorrow flowed through his veins in the place of blood.
He leaned back on his heels, increasing the distance between them even as his gaze remained unwavering on her face. She lay silent, her expression passive, and yet somehow every agonizing emotion that had been eating her alive from the inside out for months became suddenly all too clear. His step faltered and he staggered back further, reaching out to the foot of her bed for support as the blood drained from his face. Everything that remained unspoken between them screamed out for him in a single salty tear that left a wet trail of evisceration across her cheek, dampening her pillow as she slowly began losing the war he barely knew she'd been fighting.
He swallowed thickly and nodded, the decision he didn't know he had made forcing him to back further away and he cleared his throat, instantly regaining his shield of blasé. "Whatever. I guess I owe you one anyway, Lupo, y'know, for catching me and everything."
She nodded, her eyes still closed but her gratitude flowed thick through the room as the tension in her body eased and she allowed her fingernails to pull free from the flesh of her palm. "Yeah, well, next time you find yourself floating thirty feet in the air…"
"I'll try not to crush you when I fall."
Her smile was weak as she finally opened her eyes, the caramel depths diluted by the tears she'd finally convinced not to fall. When she figured he was far enough away, she sighed, brushing away the dampness left on her cheek. "Too late."
If she dwelled on it too long, Jo knew the emotional evisceration that started the day Zane had rejected her, and continued with every single event in this timeline would overwhelm her. It was enough that it had reaffirmed her belief in everything she'd grown up intrinsically understanding. Even though it had been an accident, she had helped to rip apart the fabric of time, she'd unwoven what God had put together and He was punishing her. It was the only explanation she could fathom. Zane, her job, her house, her life. She would give anything to have it all back, and yet she understood this is what she was left with when the smoke cleared.
She could pass any test, but not without sacrificing a pivotal part that made up who she'd become.
She could survive any trial, but not without leaving pieces of herself behind.
She could live in this timeline, but not without cutting Zane out of the picture entirely.
He was a reward as much as a punishment.
The changes she'd seen him make in such a short period of time were a direct reflection of her specific presence in his life. Those changes were a tease of what she'd once had, the longing that filled every atom of her body dragging her to him with the promise of a future that she no longer deserved.
She could end this living torture that she'd been thrust into with a simple conversation.
She could leave the decision in his hands.
She could betray her friends.
She could live her life.
Unfortunately, that wasn't the daughter her father had raised. She was raised to worship God, follow the rules, and offer personal sacrifice in the wake of someone else's pain.
Even if that meant while everyone else around her thrived in their happy new lives, she would spend the rest of hers paying the penance for them all.
She'd been trained to lead the way even though there was a good chance her path lead to damnation in the gaze of icy blue eyes.
"See you around, JoJo."
Her head snapped up just as he winked at her, his eyes dancing with the promise of conversations to be had, kisses to be shared, love to be drowned in, dragging a gasp and then a sigh from her long parched throat. As it had every single time their orbits collided, in this world or the last, she felt her resolve waver and weaken and she found herself involuntarily reaching out for him, Zane Donovan, her comfort, her life.
It was just a matter of time now.
She was going to burn.
~~~Fin