(Hiya! I started a new fic, this is a light hearted one, and it deals with a serious topic: online matching making, please read and review. this is AU, has OOC, OCs I'll warn you if something wiggly comes up! enjoy!)

Disclaimer: NOT MINE I DON'T OWN JE, IT'S JUST FOR FUUUN!

Chapter 1: Find A Mate (Pt.1)

Stephanie Plum looked up from the magazine she was reading, hearing the door to the penthouse she was in to, open. she placed her magazine down, hearing the low moan from the foyer. Stephanie slid off the white couch she was lounging in and walked over to the foyer, "Hey Heidi, how was your date? Was it good? I mean, he was an Italian billionaire!"

"He was a billionaire jerk, that's what he was!" Heidi sighed to Stephanie, walking past the woman, "Look Stephanie, I love you and shit, but you gotta stop matchmaking me with jerks!"

"He seemed so nice," Stephanie sighed, walking behind Heidi into the kitchen ,"He was so sweet and took us out to lunch."

"Yeah, but he wanted me to put out!" Heidi snapped, going over to the freezer and taking out a pint of chocolate ice cream, "He's getting married next month, told me that I could be his side mistress!"

Stephanie gasped looking at Heidi as she ate her Ice cream. It was very rare that her friend had a hair out of place. The one of a kind black silk dress she wore to that date had been ripped off one shoulder. Her black hair was falling out of its bun.

"Why is your dress ripped?" Stephanie asked Heidi, who closed her eyes with a snort.

"He wanted sex, I told him no, he wasn't going to take no for an answer, he grabbed my dress and ripped it. I punched him in his nose and broke it." Heidi said once she was done with her spoonful of chocolate ice cream, "Do me a favor Stephanie, don't match make for me anymore. They either want sex, money or fame from me. I'm tired, I'm going to go take a shower and then head off to sleep, I never want to have another night like this.

Heidi picked up her ice cream pint, and walked off down the penthouse's main hallway to the master bedroom. Stephanie sighed and bent her head forward onto the white quartz kitchen counter. Poor Heidi, she deserved a lot more than she got. If it wasn't for Heidi she'd still be in Trenton, New Jersey, trying to figure out how she would pay her bills or where she would find her next meal. Or worse, she would be living with her parents! She remembered that night, when Heidi came to her in her house.

(FlashBACK!)

Stephanie sighed rubbing a tired hand over her face, she felt as though everything was going wrong at one time. Just six short months ago, she had found her now ex-husband banging the town's walking STD on their dining room table. Thanks to the pre-nuptial agreement she had signed (thank you mother…) she had hardly gotten anything from the divorce. She was left with mounting debt and a house she couldn't afford. If that wasn't the icing on the cake, her job as a lingerie buyer for E.E Martian was gone, due to the fact that the company was laundering money. The divorce and job lost happened in the span of one month. She had enough money in the bank to survive for three months, but that money had quickly gone in those fast three months. She then had to sell furniture, her nice clothes, anything of value. She really hated how life threw these screwballs at her. Here she was, a 26 year old divorcee, with no job and only $7.54 in the bank. She didn't know what would happen if something didn't happen soon!

As she had pondered and brainstormed over possible ideas, Stephanie had been interrupted by a loud, but dainty cough. She turned her head and nearly shrieked at the sight of a woman in her empty living room. The woman had smiled and said, "Hello!" waving her hand wildly.

"Where'd you come from?!" Stephanie had hissed getting up, "Are you a robber?! I'll call the cops!"

"You have nothing of value that I want, it seems you've already sold off everything of value." The woman said looking around, "or are you into the Bohemian style! You know that is the 'In' thing…but you're bohemian style is a whole other level!"

Stephanie blushed and she exclaimed, "Hey! Butt out woman!" walking up to the woman, who walked past her, "Where are you going?!"

"Oh dear, you only have $7.54 in the bank such a shame…" the woman sighed shuffling through her finances.

"Get out of that!" Stephanie said, taking her papers from the woman's hands, causing her to lift her hands up in surrender.

"Okay, I shouldn't have done that," the woman said, bowing, "let me introduce myself, My name is Heidi, and I am here to offer you a job!"

Stephanie blinked and took a hard look at the woman in front of her. She was very pretty, okay…she was hot. She had pretty long black hair that was in a ponytail, milk chocolate skin was mark free. She had amber eyes that were sharp as tacks, looking right at her. She was 6'2, wearing a button up shirt, and black jeans. She had on a pair of sneakers.

"A job, you're offering me a job?" Stephanie said walking up to Heidi who nodded her head, "are you lying to me? Is this a joke?"

"No, I am in need of an assistant." Heidi said with a sheepish grin rubbing the back of her hand, "I came to you offer you the position, I'll pay you well! You know, you'll live with me in my penthouse, you'll have to go with me to functions and parties and shit. I'm very famous where I'm from."

Stephanie felt her jaw drop, this woman wasn't serious was she?! "What's the catch?"

"Uh…well, I do other things too you know, private stuff," Heidi said her face serious, "you'll have to join me when I do these things, as my partner, if you accept the position as my assistant, I'll give 10 million American dollars."

Okay Stephanie knew this woman was pulling her fucking leg now! "Ha! What a funny joke! You can leave now!"

Heidi shook her head and said, "I'm not joking! Look I'm fucking serious woman!" holding her hands out, causing a leather briefcase to appear in them. She popped open the suitcase and to reveal stacks of hundred dollar bills. "See! Ta-Da!"

Stephanie went over to the woman, and picked up a stack of money. Holy shit this was real!

"You're not joking!" Stephanie said softly, "Holy shit, you're being for real!"

"Told you!" Heidi sighed snapping the lid close, "Well, will you accept my offer?"

At first Stephanie's mother voice rang in her ear, "Wilma Lawski's daughter never accepted money from strangers, or a job! She has 4 kids and a husband who sells shoes!" oh hell no.

"I'll take the job!" Stephanie said a little too quickly, "I'll take the job as your assistant!"

"Really?! Great!" Heidi said, holding out a manicured hand, "Shake on it!"

The moment Stephanie grabbed Heidi's soft hand, her living room melted around her and she felt as though she was being sucked into a vacuum

"Welcome to your new life Stephanie Plum," Heidi said with a smile.

After that day, life for Stephanie was great! Heidi had saved her, and now she needed to save Heidi from the jerks! Stephanie lifted her head up, a plan forming in her head. She got up and went into her rooms. Heidi had insisted that she and Stephanie were equals and that they would have the same size rooms. Not that Stephanie was complaining. It was like she was the rich and famous one! She jumped on her massive bed, and grabbed her favorite purse. She dug inside for the slip of paper a make-up artist gave her one day. It was for her originally but, Heidi could use it more.

Stephanie got up and then went over to her cluttered desk and unearthed her laptop computer. As she waited for her computer to start up. Stephanie got up and went to check on Heidi in her room. She opened the double doors and found Heidi curled up on her massive bed, underneath the soft covers. Her back was turned to the door, she was sleeping as far as Stephanie could tell, by the way her breathing was even and slow. Stephanie pressed a button near the door to close the curtains of the massive floor to ceiling windows, blocking the busy city of Tokyo from seeing inside the penthouse. Stephanie went over to the night stand and picked up the empty ice cream container and spoon, and went to the kitchen to throw away the container and wash the spoon. She didn't want Heidi to be depressed anymore, so she would do one more matchmaking thing for her, but she wouldn't be picking her next date.

Stephanie walked back into her room, went onto her computer and pulled up Firefox. She took the piece of paper out, and typed in the web address; "Find A Mate"

Stephanie wouldn't do the matchmaking, she'd let technology do it for her! She'd just pick out the best one! With technology and her brainpower, nothing could go wrong!

TBC

(I found this fanfiction while I was looking for pain meds for a wisdom tooth, it's a humorous tale and it made me giggle hard while I was reading it. please read and review!)