Two days.

Regina sat at her desk, her head bowed over some paperwork two days after… what happened. Her palms were clammy as she filled out the form, trying to remember every single detail she could about that night. She had gone over the story again and again with the others, just to make sure she got every single aspect of the story correct. She didn't want to miss anything, since anything could give the town a clue as to where she could be.

Charming should be handling this, not her. Charming should be the one filling out the missing person's report and organizing search parties and trying to keep the town from tearing itself apart in panic and fear. He was the deputy, for Christ's sake, not her. Instead, here she was, doing his job for him while he and his wife had the world's biggest pity party.

And Hook… the fool was probably passed out in the alley behind the Rabbit Hole by now. It was only 9am, but that was hardly too early for him. She resisted the urge to crush the pen in her hand at the thought of his complete and utter selfishness. "She's gone," he had said, turning away from her when she had swallowed her pride and asked for his help. "She's gone, just like Millah." And with that, he wandered off. Ruby – the only one who seemed to actually be searching – informed Regina later that he was drinking at the bar, threatening to gut anyone who got near him.

Leaving everything having to do with finding the Sheriff to her.

In reality, she didn't mind the work. She didn't trust anyone else to do it correctly anyway. Regina was good at covering her bases, good at considering all the possibilities. The missing persons report would be spread throughout town, making sure everyone was aware of what was going on. Henry was at the apartment, finding a good picture to put up on flyers they would tape to every post they could that afternoon. Ruby and Belle were gathering any and all volunteers in the evening to lead a massive search party through the woods, while the fairies prepared a locator spell. It was more excitement then she was used to handling as Mayor (in an official capacity, that is), but she was dealing with it with the utmost professionalism, and the town (for the most part) was starting to rally behind her without question.

She shook her head at the thought. How different things had been not that long ago. When had it come to pass that she was the one who everyone turned to in times of trouble? When had she gone from The Evil Queen to….

Her pen fell from her hand. No, the town had a Savior. The town had someone to rely on, and it wasn't her. She was the villain, not the hero. The hero would be back. The hero always won. She would find Emma, and everything would be back to normal. She'd hug their son and smile at Regina before falling right back in with their stupid banter over the nutritional value of a grilled cheese. They'd have lunch together again, and Emma would come in wearing that God-awful red jacket –

She glanced down at the paper bag by her feet. Inside was the leather jacket, the one that had been left on the pavement in Emma's wake, two nights ago. The memory was still as clear as day in her head – Emma tearing the jacket off her and scooping up the dagger. Regina had been the one to pick it up from the ground after she was gone. No one else had made the move to even get close. She remembered clutching to it, as if squeezing it as hard as she could would somehow stop the unexplainable pain that had started to grip her. She clung to the fabric, wishing that somehow holding it in desperation would bring its wearer back.

She remembered standing there for what felt like ages before Robin tried to approach. The minute his hand fell on her shoulder, she flinched away from him. She remembered feeling like The Evil Queen then, wearing one of her famous scowls, directed at the man she was supposed to love, like he was her worst enemy. What could he do to make this better? He couldn't bring Emma back, and she knew he certainly didn't care enough about the blonde to try. She suddenly understood all too well Emma's desire to not be touched when she was upset.

It took a desperate hug from Henry (who approached her without so much as a hint of fear in his eyes) to calm her down. After that, Henry moved to pick up the Dagger that still lay on the pavement, and the two of them retreated to the mansion and cried. Neither of them spoke as they sat in the living room with tears running down their faces. They stayed that way in the much-too-empty house for an hour before they tried to figure out what to do. Henry's first thought was to call Emma with the Dagger, but Regina had talked him out of it, cautioning him that Emma might not be in control of herself at all. Eventually, the two of them had gotten up and decided to go out to search. They had been the first to recover from the whole ordeal, and as awful as she and Henry felt, Regina couldn't help but feel good that they were the ones who started the search for Emma.

It was just Regina and Henry out there, determination lighting their eyes as they searched for the third member of their unofficial family.

She had been thankful for Henry's silence, for his lack of questions as to why Regina was as upset as she was. She knew she wouldn't have been able to give him an answer then, and even now as she gazed down at that red jacket, she still wasn't sure what she felt.

Emma was gone, and instead of feeling the sadness she had expected from losing a friend, it was… something much more than that.

But she didn't have time for this. This paperwork needed to be done, and if she didn't act, the town was just going to move on without her. After all, it wouldn't the first time most of them had treated Emma like an outsider. If Regina didn't make this an issue, most of them would just pretend like it never happened and go on living perfect little lives.

But Regina had never been one to let other people enjoy perfect little lives.

She returned to the work with renewed vigor, but just before she started to really settle in, she removed the red leather jacket from the bag and draped it neatly across the back of her chair.

This way, Regina could believe that Emma was only out of the room for a moment, invading her personal space, and leaving her stuff where it didn't belong.

Just the way it should be.

Five days.

Regina was back in the office again for the first time since she filled out the missing persons report, and she was not in a terrific mood.

For the first time in her magically enhanced and extended lifetime, she felt like time was her worst enemy. Everyday, for the past three days, she and Henry had been out looking for Emma, along with more than half of the town. It was impressive to say the least to see a mob of fairytale characters trudging through the woods every night, shouting Emma's name as loud as they possibly could. It was even more impressive with Regina leading the charge wearing jeans and a t-shirt, her hair in a loose ponytail, and a fireball in her hand to make sure everyone knew where she was.

Not that anyone could miss her dressed down look.

Originally, she had just been trying to be comfortable and functional while the search went on in something she could get dirty and not care about. As the search continued, however, she realized that there was never a moment when she wasn't searching or chasing down leads. By the end of the first night, she was done dressing up for a while.

By end of the second night, she started to panic. Everyday that went by was another day that Emma could be dying of hunger or thirst or exhaustion. The thought of it made her chest ache, made her want to go down into her vault and scream and cry and curse at the sheer futility of it all. Emma could be suffering, and what was she doing? Organizing people, marching around like some goddamned hero would, and getting no results whatsoever.

The search of the woods surrounding Storybrooke continued to yield no results, leading most of the citizens to believe that Emma wasn't out there at all. No one in town had seen any sign of the blonde in any of the buildings or shops. Belle had combed every inch of the library, including the cavern beneath it and found nothing. Regina and a few of the dwarves went down into the mines, but the only thing they had to show for it was a thick layer of dirt coating their faces.

The fairies had prepared their locator spell and poured it over the blonde's red jacket (provided by Regina), only to find that it led them absolutely nowhere. Both Pongo and Ruby in her wolf form used the jacket to find Emma's scent, but found nothing, almost as if she had never lived in the town at all. Regina, however, refused to accept either of those things as evidence that Emma was gone, preferring to believe that Emma could simply be using her magic to block her trail.

One night when sleep had evaded her into the wee small hours, she grabbed the Dagger from its unofficial place on the living room coffee table and crept out into the woods. It had taken her an hour, standing in the middle of the cold night, to muster up enough courage to whisper Emma's name over the blade. But nothing had happened, and she headed home in defeat.

The places that Emma could be dwindled as quickly as Emma's time did, and Henry and Regina had to fight against thinking the worst. The two of them were constantly working to find her, checking everywhere they could think of and then checking again. They questioned people endlessly, earning both the pity and annoyance of most of the town rather quickly.

They were practically tied at the hip in their search, never leaving the other's sight for more than an hour or two for fear that they might lose yet another person they loved. They rattled off ideas during meals, plans for the next search, double checks, and possible clues. It was an unnamed operation, their search for Emma, and it was by far, the one that they were the most dedicated to.

It was during their most recent dinner that Henry finally said what Regina had started to suspect.

"Maybe she was sent to another realm?"

It was very possible. The Dagger certainly wouldn't have been able to allow her to jump from one world to the next, and with their dismal failures piling up in the town, it started to seem the most likely. But which realm would she be in? Would she be in any shape to take care of herself or defend herself? Would she have her magic to protect her? Could she ever get back? Would she ever try to?

The questions haunted Regina for the rest of the night until she ended up at the office in her chair with Emma's jacket in her lap. She stayed there for an hour or so, gazing absently out her window into the night with her hands buried in leather. She knew she would have to leave Storybrooke to go find Emma, and she knew that as soon as she found a way, Henry would insist on coming with her. The mother in her screamed at the thought of Henry coming along, but the other parts told her that Henry would find a way on his own if she didn't allow it. Besides, if she couldn't get Emma to come back home, Henry definitely could.

Regina still wasn't entirely convinced that Emma was gone from Storybrooke however. They could still do some more digging, more interviewing, more searching. And they would. For another day or two. The worst thing that could happen was if Regina and Henry left in search of Emma while she was under their noses the whole time. No, they would continue the search for while before moving on to the next possibility.

But time seemed to always be against her.

She was about to leave, the leather jacket clutched in her hand when a loud rapping sounded on the door.

"Regina, know you're in there," came the slurred statement from a very obviously drunk Hook. With a growl, Regina marched up to the door and yanked it open, trying not to cough at the pungent smell of alcohol coming off of him.

"What the hell do you want?" she said, making sure to enunciate every syllable so that he didn't misunderstand her.

"Have yuh found 'er yet, love?" he asked, his eyes closing for a minute as he tried to hold onto the door frame for balance. "I'm no' sure how much more o' this I can take."

"Well, perhaps if you stopped drinking yourself to death and helped Henry and I search, we would be a little closer to finding her," Regina sneered. This was the last thing she needed, to take care of the drunk puppy while he claimed he was in so much pain. It took everything in her not to set him on fire in the middle of the hallway.

"R'gina – "

"Go home, Hook," she nearly yelled. "The only thing you seem to want to find is the bottom of another bottle, and I don't see how that helps find Emma." With that, she moved to side step the man, only to be stopped a moment later by a hand grabbing onto the red jacket in Regina's hands.

"This is hers," he said slowly, as if he was trying to come up with some earth-shattering conclusion. "You took this from 'er."

"No, she left it behind," she said, tugging on the leather that Hook refused to relinquish. "You didn't seem to have a particular desire for it that night. In fact, I distinctly remember you walking away towards the bar as soon as she was gone."

"I deserve to keep this," he said, his voice suddenly dropping in volume. If Regina didn't know any better, she would have thought he was going to threaten her. Surely Hook wasn't that stupid.

"I don't want to hurt you, Regina. Give it to me."

Rage burned behind her eyes, and she didn't even fight the dark smile that spread across her face. If Hook wanted to play this way, that was fine by her. She was pissed off anyway.

A twitch of her hand sent him flying against the wall, his hand gripping his throat as if something were strangling him.

"I don't know who the hell you think you are," she said, her voice turning to that low, menacing octave that she tended to favor back in her darker days. "You walk around this town every damn day, pissed drunk, like you're the only one who misses Emma. Have you thought nothing of Henry? Of how he must feel losing his mother? His hero? Or of her parents? Though, they aren't any better than you, sitting on their asses all day, going over in their heads what they did wrong instead of helping me fix it.

"But really, even that is better than what you do, making a display of yourself, like you're in such pain. Is that your plan then? Drink until your skin turns yellow and you die so you can be reunited with your beloved since you believe that she's dead already?" She squeezed her fingers slightly, tightening the magical hold around Hook's neck. "You're pathetic, and the only reason I'm keeping you alive is because it's what Emma would want."

"Wh-why are you doing this?" he managed to choke out. Regina cocked her head at the question.

"Why am I doing what?" she asked innocently, her fingers twitching again. Hook gagged. "Why am I treating you like an arrogant pissant who steps all over the lives of those around him in order to make room for his own? Because that's what you are, dear. Someone in this town had to say it. I'm just glad it got to be me."

Without another word, she released her hold on him, smiling sweetly at the hard thud his body made on the floor. He looked up at her with drunken contempt.

"Emma would never forgive you for doing that," he sneered, trying and failing to get to his feet. Regina's smile faded.

"Emma's opinion of me isn't what's important," she said, her eyes boring into his own. "What matters most is that she's safe and happy. I would sacrifice anything to make that happen. Even if she hated me for the rest of our lives, I would gladly give up everything that I have to bring her back.

"I'm trying everyday to do just that, and what the hell are you doing? Drinking and trying to take the one thing… Henry and I have left of her, like some petulant child." She squeezed the leather in her hand, as if it would give her some of Emma's strength. "Stop acting like you're the only one in this town who loves her, and shut the fuck up."

Regina hadn't realized until then that she had started to cry. She kept it together as best she could in front of the pirate, only letting a few tears fall while she worked to reduce the trembling in her lower lip. Hook only stared back at her, wordlessly shocked at her speech.

"Regina."

The voice had come from behind her, and she turned quickly, not realizing how tightly she held the jacket to her chest. David stood in the hallway facing them both. Behind him, Regina could see that he left the Town Hall doors open, and his patrol car was parked on the curb outside. His eyes were rimmed with red from either sorrow or exhaustion. Probably both.

She didn't know what she expected the former prince to do as he walked up to her, but the last thing she would have guessed was the hug that he gave her. Without a word of preamble, he wrapped his arms around her in one of the most desperate hugs she had ever received. She was even more surprised when she hugged him back, one arm still gripping the leather even as it wrapped around his middle.

"I'm so sorry," he said softly, with a hitch in his voice that made her think he might have been crying. "I'm sorry that Snow and I left you and Henry to do this alone. It's selfish, and you don't deserve it." He pulled away from her then, and turned quickly to wipe his face clean of tears. "We'll try to be better, like we always have. Better for Emma and Henry… and better for you."

Regina didn't know what to say. She had rarely seen Charming show so much emotion, let alone in an apology. Let alone, an apology to her. Thankfully, he kept going. "If you don't mind, I'd like to start by running him in," he said, moving past her to drag Hook up to his feet.

"What the bloody hell are you doing, mate?"

David frowned. "I saw you break in here, Hook. I watched you threaten Regina. You're also drunk in public. You're getting at least a day behind bars," Charming said, pulling Hook towards the entrance and the waiting patrol car. "And after that, you can do a little community service by helping us look for my daughter. Since you're so in love with her."

"Thank you, Deputy," she called back after him. She tried not to smile at Charming's obvious disappointment in Hook. It was truly a shame, she thought, bringing the red jacket to her chest once more.

She always thought Hook and Charming went so well together.

Seven days.

Regina was crying.

Actually, Regina was sobbing. She wasn't entirely sure what had happened, what exactly had triggered her to break down like this, but she honestly didn't care.

The sun had set several hours ago, marking the exact time Emma had disappeared a week ago. She had been fine throughout the day, the last day her and Henry would search the town before completely dedicating their time to finding a way to jump between realms. They searched from the early morning to late afternoon before calling it quits.

Regina then went home to change into one of her more presentable outfits before heading out to talk to Jefferson. They talked for an hour and a half before deciding that their plan – which would take considerable time to prepare – should work.

She left to explain everything to Henry that evening while the two of them started dinner. As they prepared their meal and talked animatedly about their plan, Regina couldn't help but feel… good. There she was, busying herself around the kitchen while her and Henry bounced around different ideas of where she might be, what they would do when they got there, what they would need to bring with them. It almost felt normal, planning an adventure with her son, the red jacket hung over the chair in the dining room where Emma liked to sit.

It had felt almost like Emma was there with them, and they were only talking about a fun story, some type of hypothetical thing while Emma watched fondly from her chair to the right of Regina's. Even when Regina realized that Emma wasn't there with them, she couldn't stop herself from thinking that she would be there soon enough. All of Henry's talk and planning had Regina anxious to get started, to go out there and bring their Sheriff home. She felt… hopeful.

The feeling died, however, when a knock came at the mansion door just as she had finished cooking. Robin was there, and he had practically begged her to talk with him. She should have been happy to see him, should have invited him inside to share in her and Henry's meal. Instead, all she wanted was for him to leave so that her and her son could continue in their excitement.

In all honesty, she had barely thought about Robin for days. He had showed up for the first few town searches, and she had smiled at him in appreciation, but her head was constantly filled with worry over Emma. There simply hadn't been room for anything else. Eventually, he stopped coming, being one of the first to abandon hope of finding the Sheriff. Her gut (and Henry), however, suggested to her that the real reason he stopped showing up was because she had been ignoring him. The thought made her a little queasy. Her Emma was missing, and he was upset that she wasn't paying attention to him? She had tried to believe that he would never be as selfish as that, but those hopes were crushed that night.

"I hardly see you anymore," Robin said softly. He reached out and grabbed her hand, but she didn't return the same pressure. "I was wondering if you could talk for a bit?"

"I can't right now, I'm having dinner with Henry," she replied woodenly. She didn't really know what to do here. How was she supposed to tell him that she didn't want him around?

"…Well, what about after?" he asked after a moment, expecting the invitation inside that Regina didn't want to extend. "I could come back?"

"Actually, I just wanted to be with Henry tonight," she replied, trying to offer him a smile that ended up looking as dismissing as it felt. "We're having family time right now."

She paused after saying that, not sure why it had come out of her mouth at all. She could have just as easily said mother-son time, or bonding time, or private dinnertime, but she hadn't. "Family time," had fallen from her lips and despite the implications that excluded Robin from that equation, she couldn't bring herself to regret saying it. She automatically looked back into the house at the table where Henry and Emma – no, Emma's jacket – were seated. Despite the very real absence of that third member, this was her family. There was no room for anyone else… and Regina liked it that way.

"I'm sorry, Robin," she said, turning back to him with a small, absent-minded smile, thinking of that red leather jacket. "Not tonight."

"I don't understand," he said, his voice taking on a rather hurt tone. "You came for me. You brought me back here… for what, exactly?"

It was a valid question, but it was one Regina no longer had an answer for. A week ago, she might have said that she brought him back to be with him, to love him, but that wasn't the truth anymore. Something had taken over her thoughts and desires the moment Emma was gone, and it was far greater than her feelings for Robin.

Emma was far more important to her than Robin.

A part of her was sad that the feeling was gone, that she no longer had room in her heart for Robin to be what he desired of her. A much larger part of her, however, screamed in triumph at the admission that Emma was higher on her priority list. Just that simple thought made her feel right, made her feel better than she had in a very long time.

Actually… she felt as good now as she had when she had been in love with Daniel. Maybe even bet-

"Regina?"

Robin's voice shook her from her thoughts, promptly asking what it was that was making her face flush.

"I'm sorry, Robin," she said, moving her hand out of the rogue's grip. "Not tonight. In fact, I won't have time to talk for a while. My top priority is finding Emma. I don't have time to focus on anything else." The resolve in her voice had been extremely clear, and the hurt expression on his face only deepened.

"Regina, are you… are you breaking up with me?"

"I think… that that would be best, yes," she responded, her voice sure and steady. "Henry and I are going to be leaving soon to find her. When we bring her back and she's safe, we can… talk about things. Right now, I just want to be alone with my son."

Robin took a step back, as if he had been wounded. He continued to back away though, not pushing her for anything else. Regina thought that she'd want to comfort him, to take his hand and say something to reassure him, to make him feel better. She didn't. In fact, all she could feel as he lowered his head and turned away was relief. For the first time in years, she felt free.

"Everything alright, mom?" Henry asked, walking up to her as Robin took his chance to leave. She turned and smiled at her son who was watching Robin disappear into the darkness with suspicion. Her smile widened, knowing that he must feel the same way she did now. Emma was the only one allowed in the house during dinner.

"Everything's fine dear. Let's eat."

Not long after Henry had said good night, Regina began to grow restless. She couldn't help the feeling that someone should be there with her, watching Late Night on the couch next to her and munching on unhealthy snacks. It certainly hadn't been the first time feeling that way, but it was the first time she realized who it was that she wanted next to her.

She decided that what she needed was a walk, so without even thinking, she grabbed Emma's jacket, slipped it on, and went out the door.

Before she even knew where she wanted to go, she was walking to her office, wrapping the leather tighter around herself against the night chill. Soon, she found herself on the steps of Town Hall, unlocking the door with a deft touch, and stepping inside. Just as the doors shut behind her, the wind from outside blew around her and sent the lingering smell of cinnamon and honey and Emma from the jacket straight to her nose.

She stopped dead behind the door, suddenly weak in the knees and trembling. She thought maybe for a moment that she had imagined the smell; after all, she had spent nearly all week carrying that jacket around and never noticed it before. She looked down at the leather caressing her body before lifting a sleeve to her face.

The scent of her was still there, and Regina only just realized that she had been surrounding herself with it. She popped the collar, trying to bring the material closer to her face. She inhaled deeply, absentmindedly shuffling to her office as Emma began to invade her senses.

Regina didn't really have any memories where she had gotten terribly close to the blonde, always catching her faint scent off the wind or feeling just the touch of a strong, yet gentle hand on her arm. Their physical interactions were mostly limited to brief touches or those times when they had been furious with one another and fought.

Now, as she opened her office door, she regretted the way that the two of them always seemed to tiptoe around one another. In almost every interaction they had together, they had always seemed to be dangerously close to crashing into one another. Regina could count in her head all the times during those first few months where she wasn't sure if she had wanted to slap or kiss that look of defiance right off the other woman's face.

As their friendship grew, there were more than a few times where she had to stop herself from going in for a hug, or gripping Emma's hand. Once, and only once, she had almost let herself caress Emma's face after healing a small cut she got while messing around with Henry. She remembered the way her heart had fluttered at the disappointment in the blonde's eyes when the touch never came.

Now, Emma was gone, and Regina stood in the middle of the mayoral office with the red leather jacket wrapped around her, and tears running down her cheeks. She hadn't even realized she was crying until she reached her desk and sunk into the chair. She slipped the jacket off slowly, and held it to her chest, burying her face in the material to cling to the only thing she had of Emma's.

Finally, she let the sorrow take hold, and sobbed. It was like a floodgate opening, all of her fears and doubts bubbling to the forefront of her mind and destroying the hope that had been blossoming within her chest. She was afraid that the plan wouldn't work, that Emma was lost forever, or that she and Henry would never get home. She was afraid of getting home without Emma, afraid of having to live the rest of her life wishing for the lover that she hadn't even realized that she wanted. She was ashamed and angry at herself for taking this long to figure everything out, for waiting until Emma was actually gone to realize how she really felt about her. She felt like a fool for wasting so much time with hate and soul mates and authors.

She had her own happiness standing right in front of her, and she let it slip through her fingers. Like the dust left behind from crushing her own heart.

She barely felt herself sink to the floor in her weeping. She felt like another person then, sad and cold and weak. She wasn't ashamed of feeling like she did, but something kept telling her that she should be. She shouldn't be acting like this, like a used and broken little toy with no one there to pick up the pieces. She was a Queen, one of the most powerful to have ever lived. She did not cower under hardwood desks in the fetal position, crying into a filthy, used, old garment like the world had just ended. There were only two people in her life that she had ever permitted herself to feel true sorrow for - Daniel and Henry.

The Savior should most definitely not be allowed the same weight as the other two. She had tried to steal Henry away, she broke the curse, she ruined the relationship she had with Robin Hood. This woman destroyed everything she had spent most of her life working for. Regina should be happy that she's gone, happy to have Henry all to herself, happy that Snow and Charming are finally as miserable as she had been for so long, and happy that she was finally free of that stubborn, inconsiderate, intolerable, beautiful woman for good.

But here she was, not even ashamed to be crying over the loss of said woman. Regina had even admitted to herself that she had feelings for her. She felt pathetic. She felt weak. She didn't care.

Tomorrow, her and Henry would start preparing for their journey. Tomorrow, she would wake up, determined and ready to get the ball rolling and bring Emma home. Tomorrow, she would look up at the sunrise peaking through her window and find that hope filling her heart once more, accompanied by a slight flutter of anticipation. Tomorrow, she would smile at the horizon, knowing that she would find Emma, and bring her home to the people who loved her.

Tomorrow.

Tonight, she would feel small, and cry beneath her desk as her crushing regret and dread of failing rendered her useless. Tonight, she let herself feel afraid and desperate for the woman who ruined her life. Tonight, she would wish that things had been different in a million different ways, and curse herself for not seeing them done.

Tomorrow would come, and Regina would forget all this foolishness, because Emma wasn't gone. Emma would be home, and Regina would be the one to bring her there. There would be no point to all this crying. Emma would be alright, and Regina would laugh at herself for acting so silly.

But tonight, Emma was gone.

And all that Regina had left of her was a red leather jacket.