I don't own Twilight...AND DO NOT ATTEMPT ANYTHING THAT LEAH DOES IN THIS CHAPTER OR ANY OTHER NAUGHTY ONE!!!! PLEASE!!!

Chapter 1

One can, I had promised myself. Only one can. But as I pressed down the lock on the bathroom door I knew I was kidding myself, I alone with an entire package of beer. Besides I wanted to get so drunk I'd forget everything that happened. So drunk that I couldn't remember the pain. The stupid throbing, never ceasing pain that was going to kill me one of these days. And I sat down on cold bathroom tiles and got the party started.

I felt guilty. My mom might just go a little bit insane if she knew I was drinking. She had been through so much already...

I opened the top of the can and poured the bitter bubbling substance down my throat. It stung a little bit, but was overall a descent beer. Besides this was nothing compared to the agony I had felt today. Sam and Emily were finally married. I had to be a bridesmaid.. And Emily was one month pregnant.

By the time I had finished one can, I already was starting to feel a little light-headed. I hated beer. Or any alcohol for that matter. It burned my tongue. My body wanted to reject the substance, just the way I wanted to reject the fact that my cousin was marry the man I thought was my soul mate. He had given me a promise bracelet a year ago...I had burned it.

I took another dizzying sip. My body wasn't used to alcohol, but it have to get used to it. Because if the misery in my life didn't go away soon, I'd have to start drinking hard whiskey.

All I wanted was to stop thinking about the wedding. Everything. How hideous the plum bridemaid's dress had looked on me, the vanilla icing on the wedding cake, even what I had gotten Emily for a stupid wedding gift. It felt like I was rewarding her for stealing my boyfriend, getting married to him, and having his child. Funny, isn't it?

I tried not to think about the wedding. Sip. I tried not to think about my nephew/niece. Sip. Sam. Sip. Emily. Sip. Or the death of my father and becoming a damn werewolf. Sip, sip, sip.

When I was done with my first can I crushed it and reached for another. Popping it open, I wondered why it wasn't working the way I wanted it to. Maybe it was because the world hates the hell out of Leah Clearwater. I couldn't stop replaying the memory of Emily walking down the isle in her lacy white dress, and Sam wearing that expression of admiration and adoration on his face. Heh, I thought, that used to be my look. But not any more. Emily was his world, all because he was a werewolf and she had an operational womb. There was no "destiny" about it. Just the stupid ass werewolf gene and fertility.

Can No.2, was over. I crushed it and tossed it next to Can No.1. This was going to be some party alright. And I still had four cans left, and it wasn't even ten yet.

I knew at any moment, I was going to do something totally stupid, that's what happens when your drunk. But I was way too drunk already to care. I took another can from the package.

What did it feel like when you were drunk anyway? I mean I heard stories of people going crazy, but all I felt was slightly woozy and my vision wasn't picture perfect but nothing much. Besides my brain was funtioning perfectly! Wasn't there a song about being drunk? By Jamie Fox? Blame it?

I stared humming the lyrics of the song, a little too loud. The taste of beer was starting to grow on me. I felt kinda giddy, but for no real reason, even though I couldn't see straight. And then I lost track of the cans that I finished. And then I lost track of myself.

* So do you like it so far? Blame it is by Jamie Fox. P.S. At what point do YOU think Leah was really starting to get drunk?*