Hey, so this is a small bit of Klaine for some of you. It's my first time writing a glee-based fic, so I don't know if any of you will like it, but I've been contemplating whether or not to upload it for days now, and with exams and stuff coming up, it doesn't seem likely that I'll be writing anything else for a while. The first parts of lyrics are from Miserable at Best and the ones in the fic are from I Swear This Time I Mean It both by Mayday Parade. Lastly, I don't own Glee (unfortunately) or anything else. I think that's it… so GO GO GO.
Because these words were never easier for me to say
Or him to second guess
But I guess
That I can live without you but
Without you I'll be miserable at best
As they neared Kurt's house, Blaine took a deep breath. Earlier today, he had made a promise to himself that he would stay strong. He had sworn that, no matter how he was feeling on the interior, he would keep smiling for his boyfriend. However, as their goodbye loomed like a death sentence, he could feel his control slipping. The night had been wonderful, the perfect way to send Kurt off to New York full of confidence and hope. Now, it was beginning to sink in. He's going to New York. There are plenty of hot guys in the big apple; some of them are bound to set their eyes on him. One whole year without him… The words flew around Blaine's mind like formula one racing cars, overwhelming him with feelings of loss and bereavement. Sensing the sudden change in atmosphere between the two, he came to a standstill. Kurt pivoted tardily and met his own piercing blue orbs with Blaine's watered hazel ones.
"I know," he said, as if responding to the thoughts. "It's hard for me too. I don't want to go, Blaine."
"No, no, you have to, Kurt. It's your dream."
"Wrong; you're my dream. Everything, all that's happened since I met you, has been like this one huge fantasy. I don't want to wake up…" his lips pressed together and his eyes closed, catching the tear that was sure to drop at any minute, "I can't wake up."
"Hey, look at me," he whispered softly as he raised his hand to cup Kurt's pale cheek, the sudden touch causing his eyes to flutter open, "we can do this. I don't know what it will be like for you in New York, I don't know who you're going to meet or what's going to happen. What I do know is that, right now, right here," he paused, he wasn't entirely sure that he believed all that he had just said, but if he wanted Kurt to be happy, he would have to fake it. He resumed, his voice breaking on the last sentence, "I love you."
"I don't know what to say, Blaine. I love you so, so, much. I don't want to be apart from you for a second, I can't manage any longer." a lone tear rolled down his face, creating a path along his porcelain skin. Blaine kept his eyes locked on Kurt's as he wiped it clear just under his cheekbone.
The pair stood like that for what seemed like eternity before Blaine spoke quietly, "dance with me."
"What? You're asking me to dance with you right now, in the street? You're crazy, Anderson."
"Oh come on, Hummel, it's night time, nobody's here," gradually, they adjusted their bodies so that two of their hands were interlocked, the other two planted securely on each other's hip.
Step after step in perfect time with each other, they began to slow dance to the music that was non-existent. Then, Blaine started to hum. At first, it was almost inaudible but the tune grew stronger until words started to flow effortlessly from his flawless lips:
Oh, Florida, please be still tonight
Don't disturb this love of mine
Look how he's so serene
You've gotta help me out
And count the stars to form the lines
And find the words we'll sing in time
I want to keep him dreaming
It's my one wish, I won't forget this
Kurt leaned forwards slightly and rested his chin on Blaine's shoulder, the street around them disappearing until they were just two people, dancing, isolated in their pit of sorrow.
The hours change so fast
Oh God, please make this last
'Cause I'm outdated, overrated
Morning seems so far away
As they both began to chorus, the world became silent. In the moment, it seemed like nothing mattered. As long as the two voices could be heard, life was good.
So I'll sing a melody
And hope to God he's listening
Sleeping softly while I sing
And I'll be your memories
Your lullaby for all the times
Hoping that my voice could get it right
You could crush me
Please don't crush me
'Cause baby I'm a dreamer for sure
And I won't let you down
I swear this time I mean it
Kurt and Blaine stood stationary, clinging onto one another as if it they were each other's last hope.
"Kurt?"
"Mmh?"
"Just don't forget, okay?"
"Never." There was silence before he spoke again, "I love you"
Unbeknownst to Kurt, Blaine had just lost control. When those three simple words, words he had heard before, had left his mouth it was like a tsunami had struck in his eyes. Worse than that, it was like a deadly earthquake had appeared suddenly and was shattering everything he had thought was solid. "Hey, Blaine, don't cry…"
"I'm- I'm not. I'm fine." He resisted, turning slightly to avoid Kurt's watchful gaze.
"No you're not. We've known each other for long enough for me to know right away that that is a straight up lie."
He sniffed and forced a weak smile before facing back to his boyfriend. "I'm sorry."
At first, Kurt attempted to calm him by comforting him; making small sounds in his ear, but soon it became clear that it would take more than that to bring him back to where he belonged, safe with Kurt mentally. Without hesitation, he leant forwards and planted a kiss on Blaine's mouth. It wasn't an act of desperation, it wasn't rushed; it was a gesture of reassurance. In one simple kiss, Blaine had been swayed into believing that maybe everything was going to be okay as long as Kurt was still on the end of that invisible tether holding them both together.
Leaning their foreheads together lightly, their hands laced together, one voice pierced through all of the bad in the world: "I'm not ready to say goodbye to you just yet, Blaine Anderson."
And I'll sing a melody
And hope to God he's listening
Sleeping softly while I sing
And I'll be your memories
Your lullaby for all the times
Hoping that my voice could get it right.
Yeah. So that's it. If you track the Klaine tag on tumblr (I'm iloveyoumorethanmockingjays) you might have already seen it. Please leave me a review; I'd love to hear what you thought of it. Also, please excuse any spelling or grammar mistakes…I'm too tired to read through it for the billionth time.
Bethany xo