Me and Bonnie are on her bed getting ready to do the spell when Bonnie speaks up "are you sure you want to do this" I nod my head "ya I'm sure. I know I'm missing something, and it's driving me crazy trying to figure out what it is, and I want it back" she nods her head in agreement and starts the spell.

When it's done, I don't feel any different and nothing has come back, but Bonnie says that it could take awhile. So I thank her and head home. I'm writing in my diary when it all comes back to me.

"Cute pj's"

"I'm tired Damon" he stands up and walks towards me. He holds up my vervain necklace and says "brought you this"

I was surprised. I thought that I was never going to see that necklace ever again. "I thought that was gone," Damon shook his head.

"Thank you" I said to him, reaching to take the necklace, but Damon pulled it back out of my reach, "please give it back"

"I just have to say something" "why do you have to say it with my necklace" I said

"Because what I'm about to say is probably the most selfish thing I've ever said in my life" he replied "Damon, don't go there"

"No, I just have to say it once. You just need to hear it." There was a long pause, until Damon said sincerely, "I love you, Elena" He looked into my eyes and continued, "and it's because I love you that I can't be selfish with you" He paused for a second and swallowed,

"Why you can't know this. I don't deserve you, but my brother does." He leaned towards me and kissed my forehead. He stroked my face gently. He spoke in a quiet voice, full of suppressed emotion.

"God, I wish you didn't have to forget this. But you do" he says as a tear escapes his eye.

The memory comes back with such force that it makes me light headed. I can't believe Damon took away my memory. I am so angry, I decide to go see him and call him out on it. I leave my house and rush to go speak to Damon.

I walk into the boarding house uninvited and go into the parlor where I know Damon is going to be. He is pouring himself a drink when I walk in. I stop in the middle of the room and pause for a second before I start to speak.

"Why did you take away my memory" he stops with the glass half way to his lips when I say this.

"I don't know what you are talking about" he takes a drink from his glass. I walk a little closer to him.

"Don't play dumb with me, I know what you did, I remember what you said to me. How could you do that, how could you just erase my memory like that?" He is shocked that I remember, but recovers quickly, downs the rest of his drink and then speaks "because it wasn't yours to remember" that makes me even more angry "that doesn't even make any sense" I yell

"What do you want me to tell you huh? You want me to be honest with you, because I remember the last time I did that you rejected me, and told me it would always be Stefan. I did what I did to get if off my chest and made you forget so you wouldn't crush my heart again even though I don't think you can crush it to much more than you already have" I flinch at the harshness of his words

"It was my burden to bare, not yours" I start to walk closer to him, but not too much "you're wrong, Damon. I deserved to know. It belongs to me just as much as it does to you" he shakes his head

"You've known how I felt about you before this, maybe not to this extent but close enough, and you used it against me. So I don't get how you remembering me actually coming out and saying it, is going to change anything. What difference does it make? Or is this going to be a new tactic of yours to get me to be the better man"

My eyes start to water, but I told my tears back. This isn't the direction that I wanted this to go. "Damon, it isn't like that. I came here to yell at you ya, but on the way here I started to think about things" he stares at me while pouring another glass "well don't hurt yourself" he says with his famous Damon smirk. Ass.

"Damon, I'm serious. Stefan and I have been broken up for awhile now, and I've been thinking lately that I don't think that it's going to change. We haven't been right for awhile now. I've felt like there was always something missing" now I walk right up to him and look him in the eyes.

"I went to Bonnies' trying to figure out what it was, and now I know. It's you Damon" he stares at me for a second before he looks down and shakes his head. Then he starts to back up and then looks me in the eyes again.

"So let me get this straight. Hearing me say I love you, all of a sudden makes you want to be with me. Wow, that's a good one, even for you" He starts to laugh. I try to walk up to him, but he holds up his hand to stop me and backs up a little more.

"Damon, please let me explain..."

"Do you honestly think I'm going to give us a shot just because now you realize you want to give us a chance? Just because I'm going to risk my life to save yours doesn't mean that I still want us to be an us. I can't trust you Elena, not with my heart, not anymore" I can't hold back the tears from rolling down my cheeks any longer. I know I've hurt him in the past, and I wish I could change that, but I can't.

"I love you, Elena. I don't care about anyone, the way that I care about you; and I will be here to help save you. I want to be with you, but I can't. No one can hurt me the way you can. If I decide to give us a shot and then later you realize that you made a mistake… I won't be able to survive that."

"Damon please," he walks up to me and puts his hand on my arm and kisses my forehead. "I'm sorry Elena" he says as he pulls back, and then he's gone. My tears are in full force now. I realized I love Damon, but now it's too late.

No Elena, don't go there. It's not too late; I'll show him I'm serious. I'll make him see that I do love him, that I won't change my mind.