Legal Junk: The characters belong to Joss I am just borrowing them to have
some fun.
Spoilers: Up through "Wrecked" season six, then my take on what happens next.
This is my first 'long' fanfic, please review.
Decisions
Chapter 1
Why does it take a demon to bring my feelings back? My friends yanked me out of a peaceful place and then went back to their new daily lives, abandoning me in this hell. Buffy was sitting on her bed with a cross at her side, and garlic at all entrances. Spike had said she would have to make the next move, but she wasn't sure he wouldn't come to her after what happened with Dawn and Willow. The last two days had changed a lot for Buffy. She was finally beginning to feel alive again.
It wasn't that she didn't want to see Spike, quite the contrary it was taking all of her will power to stay in her room and not run to his arms. He was the only place she felt she could relax and put up no false pretenses. She just wanted to be sure that the next time she saw him she would be sure of exactly what she was feeling and what she wanted. Her mind and heart seemed to being pulling her in two different directions and she wasn't entirely sure which one to follow. If she followed her heart, then the gang may be split forever.
Since she was fifteen years old everything had always been black and white. Vampires were bad bad bad, and it was the Slayers job to take them down. The only exception was Angel, he had a soul and therefore was different. Buffy had often sat and pondered that fact. When Angel had lost his soul, he became Angelus again, and he was the epitome of evil. Spike was different than Angelus, he always had been, even before the chip. Spike had been a killer, yet he was also a lover. Look at his relationship with Dru, they had been an item of over 100 years.
Everything she was feeling for Spike went against the grain. Spike couldn't love her because he was soulless, but yet she had seen him love Drusilla so deeply only to be rejected. She had seen the hurt in his eyes when he returned to Sunnydal. Sure he had returned with Harmony, but Buffy could see he was just trying to fill the void, come on seriously Harmony. The emotions he was showing were ones that she had always been told couldn't happen. A vampire was just a shell of the human. It had no feelings and was incapable of having any human emotions.
Maybe I should call Giles and ask him if a vampire has every exhibited human emotions, and if so what the slayer did about it. That conversation would go really well wouldn't it? Giles would want to know the why part of the question and I dodn't think he could handle my feelings for Spike. Not that he doesn't already suspect something is there. He doesn't know I overheard him asking Spike to be sure to contact him if I got into trouble. Still I still don't think he is ready to hear that his Slayer has given her heart to another Vampire. Buffy knew Spike loved her deeply, and she was afraid to admit to anyone, even herself how much she loved him too. To be honest with myself Angel was a high school crush compared to the depth of my feelings for Spike.
Buffy had felt nothing but a deep emptiness since she had come back. The only people she didn't feel so empty around were Dawn and Spike. She had truly come to see them as her family. Dawn invoked a feeling of deep responsibility; she was after all Dawn's legal guardian. Buffy would never forget the way Dawn had seen to her after she came back. It had been Dawn who quietly took her home and treated her. She had asked no questions, she had just been happy that her older sister was back.
Spike was able to bring out all of her emotions. He was the one who was brutally honest with her, making her face what she was feeling. Just the other evening while they were out on patrol she had broken down crying because of the way she felt about her friends. Spike had pulled her up off the ground a quickly pointed out that while they had been the ones to bring her back; they hadn't exactly been there since. Xander and Anya were planning to be wed, and Tara and Willow had been fighting about Willow's magic use. What more could I ask for? I have a friendship with Spike that is deeper than any I have ever had. I can trust him to be there for me and to honestly tell me what I need to know without sugar coating it. He has become the only one to truly know me anymore.
I am very happy for Anya and Xander. They are happy together, but at the same time I am hurt. They moved on quickly with their lives once I was dead, sure they took a short pause when I came back; but it had only been four short weeks before they announced their engagement. It was like, OK Buffy is back, now let's get back to our new lives. They didn't even care to see if I was OK with living again. Buffy knew she had to confront Xander about this, they had always had an open, honest communication line and she wanted to keep that. This wasn't going to be easy, but then what in life ever is.
The last few days had definitely made her feel alive again. She was finally getting hold of her emotions, and she now knew she had some major decisions to make. These decisions are going to be for Dawn and I, and although they may hurt some and may even break up our group, I need to make them now. Before anyone else gets hurt, or I crawl back into the shell I have living in for the past six weeks. After tonight's near tragedy with Willow, she will have to be one of the first I deal with.
Chapter Two
Buffy knew that her first priority in her new life was going have to be herself. If she couldn't start with that, then nothing else would seem OK. She had put herself on the back burner before, only to loose perspective of who she was, Riley was a prime example of that. How could I have ever thought normal relationship would work for me? I am the Slayer and even though this is my third chance at life, who knows how long it will last. I want to be happy this time and stop denying myself the little bit of happiness a Slayer is allowed.
With this thought Buffy got out of bed and put the cross away. She moved to the windows and door and took down all of the garlic. It had been a childish act, putting it up, but she knew she had needed uninterrupted time to think. Buffy opened her window and went outside and sat on the roof, she wouldn't even admit to herself how happy she was when she saw the familiar orange glow of Spike's cigarette beside the tree. All I have to do now is face my mortal enemy and apologize for being a bitch with a capital B. The fact that Spike was even there gave Buffy the courage and strength to climb down the tree and face him.
Spike would not admit how happy he was when the smell of garlic left her room. It was a sign that she was done hiding from him and her problems. He also wouldn't admit to the joy he felt when he saw her climb down and come to him. It had taken a lot of his will power not to throw rocks at her window. He knew she was confused and angry, but he also knew she needed to work it out for herself this time. I only hope that I am included in her new plans, because I have no intention of ever leaving her side. Everyone else may abandon her, but not I.
Buffy walked over to Spike and went to hug him. He took a step back. He had been serious when he said he would no longer be her whipping boy. "Slayer, what do you want?" He had tried to make his tone harsh, but the relief that she had come to him slipped through.
"I am sorry about yesterday morning Spike, not about the night.just the morning. I awoke confused, and didn't know how to handle. These emotions are never easy to handle and after being dead for four months, they seem harder to grasp."
Spike hesitated, unsure if she wanted him to speak or not. "Slayer, I know you have been taught to hate my kind for the past six years, but I also know you that you have feelings for me. Bloody hell, I have been confused for the past year," his tone softend, "longer if you take heart to what Dru told me."
Buffy had a glimmer of hope at Spike's admission, she was happy that she wasn't the only one confused here. "I am also angry with myself for not dealing better the since my return. I am the Slayer and should be able to handle my emotions and all the battles The Powers put before me. I hate the weakness I have been feeling."
Bloody hell, she thinks she has to carry the weight of the world on her shoulders. Spike didn't know if he should try to beat some sense into her or just pull her to him and try to comfort her. The latter plan worked out, besides he was still sore from their last fight.
Spike hugged her tight, hoping against hope that Buffy would feel his strength, and know that he would always be here, that she would never have to face those emotions or battles alone again. Buffy sunk into his embrace and admited "I gave into my desires with Angel and people were hurt, Ms. Calendar even died. I was afraid to follow my heart again, and you went and stole it. I fought you the other night because that is what my head said to do, then I screwed you hoping that would get you out of my system. You were right though, all it did was put you further into my system. When I awoke the confusion set in, I lashed out in anger and ran." Buffy leaned back so she could look him in the eye. "Spike, I don't know where you and I are going from here, but please know that I am done running from you, and am ready to face the future of us."
"Slay.Buffy something has changed between us. Something neither of us planned for. Something not usually found between vampire and human, let alone vampire and slayers." Buffy could see the blood tinged tears forming at the corners of Spike's eyes. "These feelings scare the hell out of me, they are feelings deeper than I have ever felt, even as a human. But up until now my greatest fear was that you would never stop running. We ran out of time once. We have been given a second chance."
The tears were now free flowing from both of them. "Spike, I need you with me, by my side. There are so many issues I have to deal with, and the only one that I feel able to face is us, the only thing that makes any sense is us. You and Dawn are the only two people who really seem to mean anything to me right now."
Spike grabbed Buffy's hand and lead her to the porch. "I belive this is where our true confussion began. This is where I feel we should begin." Spike sat down next to her and pulled her hands into his lap.
"You had come here to kill me, shot gun in hand. Then I looked up at you with tears in my eyes and you did something I will never forget, you sat down prepared to listen to the Slayers problem. Nobody had ever done that before. I was always solving everyone else's problems. That was the day I realized my mom was going to die before me, a part of me wanted you to pull the trigger, the other part of me wanted to put my head on your shoulder and cry. From that day till now you have been the only one to see the soft, weak side of me. You have been the one to help me through so many problems, you have become my best friend. Now I want more."
They sat in a thoughtful silence, knowing that this was the night they would forever put aside the mortal enemy part of their relationship. From this point forward they would see what could develop between them if they let their love for each other guide them.
Chapter Three
The sky was getting lighter, letting them both know the sun would be rising soon. "Would you please stay here at the house today. The basement bedroom is still there, the flood only damaged the carpet. I know you and I have more to discuss, but now I need to go and face another problem that can be put off no longer."
Spike stood and pulled Buffy into his arms. He lowered his mouth to hers and let his lips meet hers. It was kiss full of the passion and love. When they parted they were both shaken to the core. "Till tonight luv. If you need me for any reason you know where to find me." With that he turned and went into her house.
Buffy sat outside for a few moments longer, letting the comfort of her new reality settle in. For the fist time since she had returned she felt the peace she had felt in heaven.
Her quite peace was broken when she heard Dawn crying in her bedroom. She wasn't crying loudly, just loud enough for Buffy to hear her and know she was needed. Buffy smiled at that thought, her friends may not need her now, but her family did.
With that thought she ran into the house and up to Dawn's room. Willow was sitting on the foot of the bed and Buffy could see the fear in Dawn's eyes. "Dawn are you OK?" Buffy carefully sat next to her sister, presenting a united front towards Willow.
"Willow was just apologizing about last night." Buffy could sense that hurt and anger in Dawn's voice. "And my arm is really hurting." Buffy could hear the tears in her sisters voice and quietly turned to Willow.
"Will you go downstairs and start breakfast, I will be there in a minute." Buffy hoped Willow didn't hear the anger in her voice. She was still not comfortable about the next decision she had to make, and didn't want a confrontation on top of it.
After Willow left, Buffy turned to her sister and quietly said, "As the other half of this family I need your opinion and help on making some decisions about our future. I know everyone has been treating you like a fragile child, but I need to know if you are ready for you and I to get past that." Dawn smiled as she replied, "You became a slayer at my age, I think I can handle helping you out. Where do we need to start?" Buffy gave her sister a hug, full of the love she felt for her.
"We will talk after I go down and see to breakfast. I am sorry for the way I have been acting, but after last night I am ready to begin my new life." With that she left her sister's room to go and face Willow.
Willow had been the first person to befriend Buffy when she moved to Sunnydale. This is going to be hard but it needs to be done. My sisters safety depends on it, and hopefully this will make Willow see she needs help.
Buffy walked into the kitchen to find Willow crying at the counter. It was going to take all of Buffy's resolve to stand firm with her. Many things had changed last night and Buffy was quickly finding that her feelings toward Willow were near the top of that list.
"Willow, last night when I came in to talk to you, I feel I may have presented a false front. I am in no way pleased with you putting my sister in danger, nor am I OK with your abuse of magic. You and I need to talk about what do from here, but right now I need to see to my sister."
Buffy thought she saw a flash of anger in Willow's eyes, but it was so quick she wasn't' sure. Willow's voice sounded flat "I'm going to go help Anya and Xander at the magic shop today. I'll be there when you are ready to talk." With that said she turned and went upstairs.
Buffy started to make breakfast for her and Dawn. She heard to front door quietly close as Dawn appeared in the kitchen. The closing of the door to the past and the opening of the door to the future. That was a comforting thought as Buffy prepared to face her new life.
Chapter Four
Spike lay awake in the basement listening to the conversations upstairs. He was proud of Buffy for maintaing control when she spoke to Willow. In his heart though he could feel the tremor of emotions in her voice. He knew this was not going to be easy for her. He also knew the Witch was not to be trusted. He could hear the undertone of hatred in Willow's voice when she told Buffy she would be at the shop.
Out of the entire gang, Spike thought Willow would have been the one to always be by Buffy's side. Now Spike knew Willow was going to be a major threat to the two sisters he had come to think of as his family. He knew he could be there for Buffy to lean on, but he knew he needed help in protecting them, from the person they thought was a friend.
Spike picked up the cordless phone he had grabbed on his way to the basement and began to dial and number he dreaded. "Angel Investigations, we help the helpless," said a much to cheery voice. Spike was still amazed that the cheerleader had turned out to have a brain. Spike tried to keep the helplessness out of his voice, "Tell Angel Buffy may be in trouble real soon and I need to see him."
"Spike, is that you?" Cordelia had known he would be calling. The powers had sent her a vision letting her know that he meant Buffy no harm, and in all reality someone else very close to her was a major threat. "Hold on Spike, Angel wanted me to get him immediately if you called." She put the phone on hold. Spike hated to be on hold, the damn music was enough to drive any creature insane.
"Why are with her Spike?" Even though Angel had been warned by Cordelia, he was still hurt from Buffy's rejection a few weeks ago. "She needs me," was Spike's cautious, but immediate response. "You have to come help me keep her safe from Willow," Spike could hear the confusion in Angel's voice, "But Willow is her friend."
"A lot has changed since you left." Spike answered more sharply that he had planned. He couldn't help feeling the anger toward Angel for hurting Buffy so long ago. "Angel I know you have business you need help with in LA, I could sense when Darla died, and I knew before that there was something wrong between the two of you. Maybe we can exchange favors."
Angel couldn't help the hurt he felt knowing Spike was where he wanted to be, even with his growing feelings towards Cordelia, Buffy had been his first true love. "Spike again I ask why are you with her?" Spike let down his guard and answered his grandsire truthfully, "Because you left her, you marked her to claim her, never completed it, and left her. You just turned your back and left. I have always wanted her, since my first trip to Sunnyhell, you know that. Now since she has come back I have been the one here, doing the one thing you could never do. I am helping her deal with being the Slayer, and somewhere in that I lost my heart to her. I love her more than you ever could. I love her with all my heart, all my mind, and yes even with all my demon."
Spike had made no effort to hide his anger, and silently prayed to a deity that didn't listen to his kind, that Angel would not hang up on him. He knew he could handle keeping Buffy safe from Willow, but he wasn't sure how deep the Witch's powers had gotten. He wasn't sure if he could save the entire gang.
Spike could sense that his grandsire was still on the phone so he continued. "Buffy is in danger from Willow, she has been hanging around Rack." Spike heard Angel softly swear, and smiled. "I know me being near Buffy is hurting you as much as you being with Dru hurt me, but we need your help."
Angel could hear the plea that Spike had tried to keep hidden. Spike had always been Angelus' favorite Childe. "I'll be there by tonight." Angel could sense Spike's relief, even if he knew his childe would never voice it. "Spike, you know she was my first true love and you know that you are my favorite," Spike could hear pain and confusion in Angel's voice, "What are you hoping to come out of being with her?"
Spike took a deep, unneeded breath, "I want to make her mine. I know you started to but stopped. I know the responsibility, but I know that she is the one. I also know she is not ready for that yet, so I am asking you not to tell her."
Angel was near tears as he saw the door closing on this chapter of his past, but he also saw light as he thought about Cordy. "I will see you tonight, Buffy's house right?"
"Yeah" was all Spike could manage. He couldn't believe the relief he felt when Angel didn't challenge him on the claim. "You may want to bring Cordelia, Buffy would be glad to see her."
Angel smiled as he said "There have been some changes here too Spike. I had already planned on bringing her." He couldn't help but worry about his childe's feelings if Buffy were to not return Spike's feelings.
Spike smiled as he hung up and laid back down to get some needed rest. Buffy had worn him out the other night and he knew he would need all his strength to help her through the next few days.
Chapter Five
Buffy sat quietly at the counter top while awaiting her sister's reaction. She was ready to jump for joy when she saw a slow smile spread across Dawn's face. "You and Spike!" Her sister braced her in an awkward hug. I knew there had been something there but I never thought they would act on it, Dawn thought.
"I knew you loved him Buffy, and he has become a member of the family as far as I am concerned." Dawn looked hopeful at those last words. She really had come to look at Spike as an older brother. He had been there for her to lean on after the others began to move forward after Buffy's death.
"Not so fast Dawn, we are just beginning and I don't want to rush things." Buffy was afraid to admit to Dawn that she had been thinking along the same lines. I have already been thinking of him as mine for a while now.
Buffy looked at her sisters face and quietly added, "But don't' worry Spike and I are very serious about each other. We just need a little bit of time to see where we are heading." Dawn's face brightened again at this news. "But you can't tell anyone yet, we have another important matter to discuss before the gang gets wind of Spike and I."
"Whatever you say," said Dawn. "But the way you two look at each other, the secret is not going to stay hidden long." Buffy just smiled at that thought. Xander would have a heart attack while Anya congratulated them on having a sex life. Tara would blush, but Buffy thought Tara wouldn't be to surprised, she seemed to be the only other group member to know what was going on, besides Dawn. Now I need to think about what to do about Willow. This thought put a frown on Buffy's face.
"I know we need to talk about last night." Dawn sounded a bit frightend and quickly began, "I didn't know we were going there, she said a movie."
Buffy was quick to interupt her, "Dawn, I know you didn't have anything to do with last night. Please don't think I blame you, this is all in Willow's court." Buffy went to her sister and put her arms around her. "We need to decide if we want her to leave, or how to get her some help."
Dawn looked up at her sister with tears in her eyes. "Willow and Tara were like my parents after you died, but now I am scared to even have her near. Tara was right to leave, Willow is in to deep."
Buffy was glad they were on the same page, with teenagers sometimes you were never quite sure. "That's all I needed to hear from you. I am going to speak to Willow today. She will have 24-hours to leave. I won't have her frightening you or trying to destroy the new life we are building."
The sisters stood together in the kitchen unaware of Willow standing outside listening in. They think they can just get rid of me after all I have done for them, we'll just see about that.
Chapter Six
After Angel hung up with Spike he turned to Cordelia and pulled her to him. He hugged her tight, reminding himself that they were also beginning a new chapter together and she would be there for him through this. "I need you to drive me to Sunnydale. Spike and Buffy need us." Those were two names that he never dreamed of saying the same sentence unless is was about a battle. But now it felt right.
"I thought that was where we were going," Cordelia leaned into his embrace and whispered "Thank you for trusting that I will be there for you." They broke their embrace and went to gather supplies and to let Wes, Gunn, and Fred know what was up.
"Buffy and Spike?" Wes looked as if he was going to faint. "Yes, Wes, my childe and love have gone and fallen for each other. Oddly enough, I am happy about it. They will be good for one another."
Wes smiled at that, "Wonder if Giles knows yet."
"You are not going to call him," Cordelia said sharply, but with a smile.
"I need you guys to stay here in LA," Angel began. "Fred I need to know if you will look after Liam for me?" Angel really didn't want to leave his new born son, but he needed to asses the danger in Sunnydale before bringing him there.
She smiled shyly and answered "You knew you didn't need to ask that." Fred had gotten over her crush on Angel, seeing the feelings developing between him and Cordelia, she had realized her feelings had been that of hero worship. It was her feelings towards Wesley that were confusing her.
"Gunn and Wes, I need you guys to continue to look into this prophesy thing. I am going to put Buffy's group on it too, but I have a feeling we will be dealing with another problem there." Angel couldn't help but deeply worry about Willow, Rack was bad news. Even Angelus had been slightly afraid of him, and Angelus feared no one.
"I will keep in touch with you guys, and if you need us for anything," he said this as he looked at Fred, "we will either be staying at Buffy's or at the magic shop." He stopped and thought for a moment, "I will call you guys to come out as soon as I know it is safe, I want that group to meet my group." He added silently to himself, plus if my childe is right there will be a wedding of sorts to celebrate soon.
"We're all packed. Spell books, laptop, clothes, and blood. Ready to go." Cordy had repeated the list of items like they were all a normal part of a packing list. God I am falling hard for her. Angel thought as he grabbed her hand and led them to the door to the garage.
******
Dawn and Buffy arrived at the magic shop just before noon. Buffy saw Anya behind the counter counting money as usual. Xander was at the table pouring over the books, trying to figure out what the latest evil was in Sunnydale. This particular evil had a petty side, and they were having a hard time figuring it out. I have no problems here. She thought to herself as she looked at her two friends.
"Where is Willow?" Buffy asked a bit concerned, with a touch of anger in her voice. She thought she had made it clear that they needed to talk, and that she would be meeting her here.
Xander looked up from his reading and then ran over to Dawn as soon as he saw her arm. "What happened, are you OK?"
"I fine," Dawn lied. She was actually really worried about Willow not being at the shop. "Buffy can I call Tara and invite her into this? I think she really deserves to be here too." Dawn had become close to Tara during Buffy's death, she had been the only one besides Spike to really help her through.
Buffy felt ashamed that she had forgotten to call Tara. She had begun to really like Tara and knew she belonged here. "I will give her a quick call, and then I guess we all need to sit and talk." I can't believe Willow isn't here. Does she think this whole thing is a joke? I was serious when I said for her to be here!
After hanging up with a concerned Tara, Buffy turned to a table full of curious eyes. "Where do I begin? I guess with an I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being so withdrawn since you brought me back."
Spike chose that moment to come in through the training room. Buffy had been silently hoping he would show. She noted the look of concern on his face, but smiled sweetly to him as he came over to sit on the counter behind her.
Bloody hell this woman has gotten too far under my skin. Going to the shop to face that group on her own. I told her I was here for her, why didn't she come and ask me. Buffy turned and looked at him and whispered so only he could hear "I was letting you sleep." She took a step back so she was closer to him.
Xander had a questioning look of confusion on his face now and Anya smiled at her knowingly. Buffy smiled and continued "A lot has happened in the the past 48 hours that has brought me back my old self." Her smile grew as she said, "You could say it has been a Bloody Revelation." She heard Spike's growl of approval and went on.
"As I was saying before Spike came in, I apologize for being so distant, but now things are going to change. There are things I have to deal with now and the people here are the ones I trust." Tara walked in right as Buffy said this. Buffy turned to her and smiled at her, "Tara, I'm glad you could come. You are a very important part of this group." Buffy wiped an emotional tear from her eye and continued. "You guys are where I am going to begin my life again." Buffy stopped for a moment and thought of Giles, he was still a part of her, but now a more distant part. He was a parental figure and now she was moving out on her own.
Xander looked at Spike cautiously and began to say something, but Anya quickly cut in "Xaner shut up, you have me and she didn't judge. She needs him, don't judge her." Xander smiled at his bride to be and turned to Buffy. "If he ever hurts you I will stake him myself." Buffy smiled at Xander, not realizing she had been worrying about his reaction.
"I have not yet properly congratulated the two of you yet. Xander I am so happy you found someone. I know you had a thing for me for years, that I couldn't reciprocate. You have always been a brother to me. Anya welcome to my growing family. Please promise to make Xander happy." Buffy quickly continued when Anya got ready to speak. "but don't share all the ways you make him happy."
Buffy then leaned back into Spike and he slipped off the counter and put his arms around her, knowing she needed his strength for the next topic. "As you can see from Dawn's bright pink cast," Buffy paused for a moment and asked her sister, "Didn't they have any less bright colors?" Spike growled in reply and Dawn cringed. "I don't want to know about that story do I?" Dawn shook her head and Spike just grinned that sexy evil grin.
"Anyway, we have a serious matter. Willow." Tara looked like she was going to fall a part at any moment. Dawn moved by her side and took her hand. "Willow needs help, and she needs it fast."
Buffy looked at her sister and was very proud at what she saw. Teenagers today don't seem to care about much, but Dawn cared very deeply for all of the people close to her. "Willow was supposed to take Dawn to the movies last night, but instead she took her to a ." Buffy turned to Spike for help. It had just hit her where Dawn had been.
Spike pulled her in close while she cried. "She took Dawn to a bloody magic dealer." His tone was cold and bearly hid the anger he was feeling. "Willow is in deep with some very black and powerful magic."
Buffy was just exhausted. This had been more than she had dealt with since she had returned. I knew this was going to be hard, but I would pick demon slaying any day over dealing with people and emotions.
Tara put her arms around Dawn and said quietly "I am so sorry. If I hadn't left she would never have."
Dawn quickly cut her off, "Don't blame yourself. This has been coming since before I even came." Buffy turned and gave her a confused look. Dawn continued "You have each told me stories of Willow using her magic to make things 'better' when she was hurting. This time things have just gone too far."
Buffy continued drawing her strength from Spike and Dawn's courage, "Willow was supposed to meet me here, and obviously she's not here. Tara I hate to ask."
"No problem Buffy, I care about her still. Give me a moment and I'll find her." Tara fell into a trance and when she came back too she had tears in her eyes. "She is with Amy. She looks really bad, her eyes are completely black."
"I can't allow her to return to the house, only to get her stuff. Can you get a message to her." The room was quiet as Tara did as asked.
Spike was rubbing Buffy's shoulders, sensing that the situation was really getting to be too much for her. "I made a phone call," he started, unsure if he wanted to continue. "Angel and Cordelia are on their way."
Angel, on his way here. Why? "Because we need his help with Rack." Spike replied to her silent question. Buffy glanced at him with another silent question, can you read my thoughts? "Later" was the reply she heard. She turned back to the rest of the group and sunk back into his embrace.
Buffy turned to Dawn and Tara, "Do you think she would be safe staying with you a few days? Just until we know things are safe."
Tara smiled happily, "Sure, Willow hasn't been to my new place, so I can still place a bane against her." Tara got a look on her face as if a light bulb just went on. "After she takes her stuff from your place, I can put a no magical entrance on the doors. That should at least keep you safe inside." Spike could feel some of the tension drain from Buffy. He also felt some relief, he had been worried about how to keep her safe in the daylight.
"Thanks Tara." She turned to Dawn, "Why don't you and Tara go now and get your stuff. Call me often to let me know you're OK." Dawn came over and hugged her sister, "I'll be OK, now that I have my big sister back." She gave Spike a hug too, and Dawn and Tara left the shop.
"So what do we do when Willow does show up here." Xander didn't even try to hide the fear and anger in his voice. "We knew she was in too deep when she brought you back, but I never thought she would hurt any of us."
"Angel and Cordelia will be here tonight," Spike looked at a very tired looking Buffy and continued, "We will make more decisions then. Xander stay with Anya and call us if she shows." Xander nodded and Anya went back over to the register - Xander knew that she was afraid by that action alone, Anya always went to count money when she had a lot on her mind.
"Go home and get some rest Buffy," Xander hugged her tight and went to his fiancée. "We'll manage till we figure out what to do next. I'm just glad to have you back." He looked up at Spike and said quietly "Take care of her." Spike nodded and led her towards the training room.
Chapter Seven
Spike carried her the last couple of blocks to he house. Thank god Sunnydale has so many underground tunnels. Buffy had fallen asleep on his shoulder almost as soon as he picked her up. Buffy, I hope you realize soon how close I want us to be, because I don't know how long I can wait.
As they came to the basement entrance to her house, Spike stopped. He could hear movement inside. He nudged Buffy awake and quietly told her to stay put while he went in to see who was inside.
In the kitchen he saw Dawn's note saying they were leaving so he knew it wasn't her and Tara. He quietly went upstairs and saw Willow and Amy packing. Willow turned to him, "I know I am no longer welcome here. Tell Buffy I will come to her when I am ready to talk."
Spike made no effort to conceal the anger and threat in his voice, "If you try to harm her, Dawn, or any of them, I will kill you."
Willow shutterd and nodded before grabbing her stuff to leave. "Spike, I don't approve of her new choices, you over me and the group, and soon you won't be able to stop me." With that she and Amy went downstairs and left.
Spike went into the living room to find Buffy crying on the couch. He went over to her and pulled her onto his lap. They layed like that for some time. When Buffy had cried the rest of her tears she looked up at him. "Thank you." It was all that needed to be said. He kissed her gently and pulled her head back to his chest and stroked her hair, making her relax and get some much needed sleep.
Once he felt her heartbeat slow into a slumbering beat he allowed himself to think. Why am able to hear her thoughts now and why can she hear mine. I haven't even bitten her, yet. There has been no claim started between us. The only one she should be able to even possibly do that with is Angel. Spike shuttered when it finally dawned on him.
When he had questioned Xander about the spell that brought her back, Xander had admitted that the urn had broken and the spell shouldn't have worked. It had to have been The Powers That Be that brought her back to this hell. They are also the ones that must be responsible for my chip only working on certain people.
Spike had yet to tell anyone that he was not as neutered as they all thought. If he tried to drink from a human, and had no intention of killing them, he could bite them. The only person he had tried it on was a murder. He had just seen the man dump the body and decided that if anyone deserved to be bitten it was him. He had only drank a bit, enough to feed and not kill.
Spike quietly thanked the powers for allowing him this second chance of being with her. I won't loose her again. I may have failed you once but I won't again. With that promise made he let himself relax with her in his arms, and waited for Angel to arrive.
Chapter Eight
Spoilers: Up through "Wrecked" season six, then my take on what happens next.
This is my first 'long' fanfic, please review.
Decisions
Chapter 1
Why does it take a demon to bring my feelings back? My friends yanked me out of a peaceful place and then went back to their new daily lives, abandoning me in this hell. Buffy was sitting on her bed with a cross at her side, and garlic at all entrances. Spike had said she would have to make the next move, but she wasn't sure he wouldn't come to her after what happened with Dawn and Willow. The last two days had changed a lot for Buffy. She was finally beginning to feel alive again.
It wasn't that she didn't want to see Spike, quite the contrary it was taking all of her will power to stay in her room and not run to his arms. He was the only place she felt she could relax and put up no false pretenses. She just wanted to be sure that the next time she saw him she would be sure of exactly what she was feeling and what she wanted. Her mind and heart seemed to being pulling her in two different directions and she wasn't entirely sure which one to follow. If she followed her heart, then the gang may be split forever.
Since she was fifteen years old everything had always been black and white. Vampires were bad bad bad, and it was the Slayers job to take them down. The only exception was Angel, he had a soul and therefore was different. Buffy had often sat and pondered that fact. When Angel had lost his soul, he became Angelus again, and he was the epitome of evil. Spike was different than Angelus, he always had been, even before the chip. Spike had been a killer, yet he was also a lover. Look at his relationship with Dru, they had been an item of over 100 years.
Everything she was feeling for Spike went against the grain. Spike couldn't love her because he was soulless, but yet she had seen him love Drusilla so deeply only to be rejected. She had seen the hurt in his eyes when he returned to Sunnydal. Sure he had returned with Harmony, but Buffy could see he was just trying to fill the void, come on seriously Harmony. The emotions he was showing were ones that she had always been told couldn't happen. A vampire was just a shell of the human. It had no feelings and was incapable of having any human emotions.
Maybe I should call Giles and ask him if a vampire has every exhibited human emotions, and if so what the slayer did about it. That conversation would go really well wouldn't it? Giles would want to know the why part of the question and I dodn't think he could handle my feelings for Spike. Not that he doesn't already suspect something is there. He doesn't know I overheard him asking Spike to be sure to contact him if I got into trouble. Still I still don't think he is ready to hear that his Slayer has given her heart to another Vampire. Buffy knew Spike loved her deeply, and she was afraid to admit to anyone, even herself how much she loved him too. To be honest with myself Angel was a high school crush compared to the depth of my feelings for Spike.
Buffy had felt nothing but a deep emptiness since she had come back. The only people she didn't feel so empty around were Dawn and Spike. She had truly come to see them as her family. Dawn invoked a feeling of deep responsibility; she was after all Dawn's legal guardian. Buffy would never forget the way Dawn had seen to her after she came back. It had been Dawn who quietly took her home and treated her. She had asked no questions, she had just been happy that her older sister was back.
Spike was able to bring out all of her emotions. He was the one who was brutally honest with her, making her face what she was feeling. Just the other evening while they were out on patrol she had broken down crying because of the way she felt about her friends. Spike had pulled her up off the ground a quickly pointed out that while they had been the ones to bring her back; they hadn't exactly been there since. Xander and Anya were planning to be wed, and Tara and Willow had been fighting about Willow's magic use. What more could I ask for? I have a friendship with Spike that is deeper than any I have ever had. I can trust him to be there for me and to honestly tell me what I need to know without sugar coating it. He has become the only one to truly know me anymore.
I am very happy for Anya and Xander. They are happy together, but at the same time I am hurt. They moved on quickly with their lives once I was dead, sure they took a short pause when I came back; but it had only been four short weeks before they announced their engagement. It was like, OK Buffy is back, now let's get back to our new lives. They didn't even care to see if I was OK with living again. Buffy knew she had to confront Xander about this, they had always had an open, honest communication line and she wanted to keep that. This wasn't going to be easy, but then what in life ever is.
The last few days had definitely made her feel alive again. She was finally getting hold of her emotions, and she now knew she had some major decisions to make. These decisions are going to be for Dawn and I, and although they may hurt some and may even break up our group, I need to make them now. Before anyone else gets hurt, or I crawl back into the shell I have living in for the past six weeks. After tonight's near tragedy with Willow, she will have to be one of the first I deal with.
Chapter Two
Buffy knew that her first priority in her new life was going have to be herself. If she couldn't start with that, then nothing else would seem OK. She had put herself on the back burner before, only to loose perspective of who she was, Riley was a prime example of that. How could I have ever thought normal relationship would work for me? I am the Slayer and even though this is my third chance at life, who knows how long it will last. I want to be happy this time and stop denying myself the little bit of happiness a Slayer is allowed.
With this thought Buffy got out of bed and put the cross away. She moved to the windows and door and took down all of the garlic. It had been a childish act, putting it up, but she knew she had needed uninterrupted time to think. Buffy opened her window and went outside and sat on the roof, she wouldn't even admit to herself how happy she was when she saw the familiar orange glow of Spike's cigarette beside the tree. All I have to do now is face my mortal enemy and apologize for being a bitch with a capital B. The fact that Spike was even there gave Buffy the courage and strength to climb down the tree and face him.
Spike would not admit how happy he was when the smell of garlic left her room. It was a sign that she was done hiding from him and her problems. He also wouldn't admit to the joy he felt when he saw her climb down and come to him. It had taken a lot of his will power not to throw rocks at her window. He knew she was confused and angry, but he also knew she needed to work it out for herself this time. I only hope that I am included in her new plans, because I have no intention of ever leaving her side. Everyone else may abandon her, but not I.
Buffy walked over to Spike and went to hug him. He took a step back. He had been serious when he said he would no longer be her whipping boy. "Slayer, what do you want?" He had tried to make his tone harsh, but the relief that she had come to him slipped through.
"I am sorry about yesterday morning Spike, not about the night.just the morning. I awoke confused, and didn't know how to handle. These emotions are never easy to handle and after being dead for four months, they seem harder to grasp."
Spike hesitated, unsure if she wanted him to speak or not. "Slayer, I know you have been taught to hate my kind for the past six years, but I also know you that you have feelings for me. Bloody hell, I have been confused for the past year," his tone softend, "longer if you take heart to what Dru told me."
Buffy had a glimmer of hope at Spike's admission, she was happy that she wasn't the only one confused here. "I am also angry with myself for not dealing better the since my return. I am the Slayer and should be able to handle my emotions and all the battles The Powers put before me. I hate the weakness I have been feeling."
Bloody hell, she thinks she has to carry the weight of the world on her shoulders. Spike didn't know if he should try to beat some sense into her or just pull her to him and try to comfort her. The latter plan worked out, besides he was still sore from their last fight.
Spike hugged her tight, hoping against hope that Buffy would feel his strength, and know that he would always be here, that she would never have to face those emotions or battles alone again. Buffy sunk into his embrace and admited "I gave into my desires with Angel and people were hurt, Ms. Calendar even died. I was afraid to follow my heart again, and you went and stole it. I fought you the other night because that is what my head said to do, then I screwed you hoping that would get you out of my system. You were right though, all it did was put you further into my system. When I awoke the confusion set in, I lashed out in anger and ran." Buffy leaned back so she could look him in the eye. "Spike, I don't know where you and I are going from here, but please know that I am done running from you, and am ready to face the future of us."
"Slay.Buffy something has changed between us. Something neither of us planned for. Something not usually found between vampire and human, let alone vampire and slayers." Buffy could see the blood tinged tears forming at the corners of Spike's eyes. "These feelings scare the hell out of me, they are feelings deeper than I have ever felt, even as a human. But up until now my greatest fear was that you would never stop running. We ran out of time once. We have been given a second chance."
The tears were now free flowing from both of them. "Spike, I need you with me, by my side. There are so many issues I have to deal with, and the only one that I feel able to face is us, the only thing that makes any sense is us. You and Dawn are the only two people who really seem to mean anything to me right now."
Spike grabbed Buffy's hand and lead her to the porch. "I belive this is where our true confussion began. This is where I feel we should begin." Spike sat down next to her and pulled her hands into his lap.
"You had come here to kill me, shot gun in hand. Then I looked up at you with tears in my eyes and you did something I will never forget, you sat down prepared to listen to the Slayers problem. Nobody had ever done that before. I was always solving everyone else's problems. That was the day I realized my mom was going to die before me, a part of me wanted you to pull the trigger, the other part of me wanted to put my head on your shoulder and cry. From that day till now you have been the only one to see the soft, weak side of me. You have been the one to help me through so many problems, you have become my best friend. Now I want more."
They sat in a thoughtful silence, knowing that this was the night they would forever put aside the mortal enemy part of their relationship. From this point forward they would see what could develop between them if they let their love for each other guide them.
Chapter Three
The sky was getting lighter, letting them both know the sun would be rising soon. "Would you please stay here at the house today. The basement bedroom is still there, the flood only damaged the carpet. I know you and I have more to discuss, but now I need to go and face another problem that can be put off no longer."
Spike stood and pulled Buffy into his arms. He lowered his mouth to hers and let his lips meet hers. It was kiss full of the passion and love. When they parted they were both shaken to the core. "Till tonight luv. If you need me for any reason you know where to find me." With that he turned and went into her house.
Buffy sat outside for a few moments longer, letting the comfort of her new reality settle in. For the fist time since she had returned she felt the peace she had felt in heaven.
Her quite peace was broken when she heard Dawn crying in her bedroom. She wasn't crying loudly, just loud enough for Buffy to hear her and know she was needed. Buffy smiled at that thought, her friends may not need her now, but her family did.
With that thought she ran into the house and up to Dawn's room. Willow was sitting on the foot of the bed and Buffy could see the fear in Dawn's eyes. "Dawn are you OK?" Buffy carefully sat next to her sister, presenting a united front towards Willow.
"Willow was just apologizing about last night." Buffy could sense that hurt and anger in Dawn's voice. "And my arm is really hurting." Buffy could hear the tears in her sisters voice and quietly turned to Willow.
"Will you go downstairs and start breakfast, I will be there in a minute." Buffy hoped Willow didn't hear the anger in her voice. She was still not comfortable about the next decision she had to make, and didn't want a confrontation on top of it.
After Willow left, Buffy turned to her sister and quietly said, "As the other half of this family I need your opinion and help on making some decisions about our future. I know everyone has been treating you like a fragile child, but I need to know if you are ready for you and I to get past that." Dawn smiled as she replied, "You became a slayer at my age, I think I can handle helping you out. Where do we need to start?" Buffy gave her sister a hug, full of the love she felt for her.
"We will talk after I go down and see to breakfast. I am sorry for the way I have been acting, but after last night I am ready to begin my new life." With that she left her sister's room to go and face Willow.
Willow had been the first person to befriend Buffy when she moved to Sunnydale. This is going to be hard but it needs to be done. My sisters safety depends on it, and hopefully this will make Willow see she needs help.
Buffy walked into the kitchen to find Willow crying at the counter. It was going to take all of Buffy's resolve to stand firm with her. Many things had changed last night and Buffy was quickly finding that her feelings toward Willow were near the top of that list.
"Willow, last night when I came in to talk to you, I feel I may have presented a false front. I am in no way pleased with you putting my sister in danger, nor am I OK with your abuse of magic. You and I need to talk about what do from here, but right now I need to see to my sister."
Buffy thought she saw a flash of anger in Willow's eyes, but it was so quick she wasn't' sure. Willow's voice sounded flat "I'm going to go help Anya and Xander at the magic shop today. I'll be there when you are ready to talk." With that said she turned and went upstairs.
Buffy started to make breakfast for her and Dawn. She heard to front door quietly close as Dawn appeared in the kitchen. The closing of the door to the past and the opening of the door to the future. That was a comforting thought as Buffy prepared to face her new life.
Chapter Four
Spike lay awake in the basement listening to the conversations upstairs. He was proud of Buffy for maintaing control when she spoke to Willow. In his heart though he could feel the tremor of emotions in her voice. He knew this was not going to be easy for her. He also knew the Witch was not to be trusted. He could hear the undertone of hatred in Willow's voice when she told Buffy she would be at the shop.
Out of the entire gang, Spike thought Willow would have been the one to always be by Buffy's side. Now Spike knew Willow was going to be a major threat to the two sisters he had come to think of as his family. He knew he could be there for Buffy to lean on, but he knew he needed help in protecting them, from the person they thought was a friend.
Spike picked up the cordless phone he had grabbed on his way to the basement and began to dial and number he dreaded. "Angel Investigations, we help the helpless," said a much to cheery voice. Spike was still amazed that the cheerleader had turned out to have a brain. Spike tried to keep the helplessness out of his voice, "Tell Angel Buffy may be in trouble real soon and I need to see him."
"Spike, is that you?" Cordelia had known he would be calling. The powers had sent her a vision letting her know that he meant Buffy no harm, and in all reality someone else very close to her was a major threat. "Hold on Spike, Angel wanted me to get him immediately if you called." She put the phone on hold. Spike hated to be on hold, the damn music was enough to drive any creature insane.
"Why are with her Spike?" Even though Angel had been warned by Cordelia, he was still hurt from Buffy's rejection a few weeks ago. "She needs me," was Spike's cautious, but immediate response. "You have to come help me keep her safe from Willow," Spike could hear the confusion in Angel's voice, "But Willow is her friend."
"A lot has changed since you left." Spike answered more sharply that he had planned. He couldn't help feeling the anger toward Angel for hurting Buffy so long ago. "Angel I know you have business you need help with in LA, I could sense when Darla died, and I knew before that there was something wrong between the two of you. Maybe we can exchange favors."
Angel couldn't help the hurt he felt knowing Spike was where he wanted to be, even with his growing feelings towards Cordelia, Buffy had been his first true love. "Spike again I ask why are you with her?" Spike let down his guard and answered his grandsire truthfully, "Because you left her, you marked her to claim her, never completed it, and left her. You just turned your back and left. I have always wanted her, since my first trip to Sunnyhell, you know that. Now since she has come back I have been the one here, doing the one thing you could never do. I am helping her deal with being the Slayer, and somewhere in that I lost my heart to her. I love her more than you ever could. I love her with all my heart, all my mind, and yes even with all my demon."
Spike had made no effort to hide his anger, and silently prayed to a deity that didn't listen to his kind, that Angel would not hang up on him. He knew he could handle keeping Buffy safe from Willow, but he wasn't sure how deep the Witch's powers had gotten. He wasn't sure if he could save the entire gang.
Spike could sense that his grandsire was still on the phone so he continued. "Buffy is in danger from Willow, she has been hanging around Rack." Spike heard Angel softly swear, and smiled. "I know me being near Buffy is hurting you as much as you being with Dru hurt me, but we need your help."
Angel could hear the plea that Spike had tried to keep hidden. Spike had always been Angelus' favorite Childe. "I'll be there by tonight." Angel could sense Spike's relief, even if he knew his childe would never voice it. "Spike, you know she was my first true love and you know that you are my favorite," Spike could hear pain and confusion in Angel's voice, "What are you hoping to come out of being with her?"
Spike took a deep, unneeded breath, "I want to make her mine. I know you started to but stopped. I know the responsibility, but I know that she is the one. I also know she is not ready for that yet, so I am asking you not to tell her."
Angel was near tears as he saw the door closing on this chapter of his past, but he also saw light as he thought about Cordy. "I will see you tonight, Buffy's house right?"
"Yeah" was all Spike could manage. He couldn't believe the relief he felt when Angel didn't challenge him on the claim. "You may want to bring Cordelia, Buffy would be glad to see her."
Angel smiled as he said "There have been some changes here too Spike. I had already planned on bringing her." He couldn't help but worry about his childe's feelings if Buffy were to not return Spike's feelings.
Spike smiled as he hung up and laid back down to get some needed rest. Buffy had worn him out the other night and he knew he would need all his strength to help her through the next few days.
Chapter Five
Buffy sat quietly at the counter top while awaiting her sister's reaction. She was ready to jump for joy when she saw a slow smile spread across Dawn's face. "You and Spike!" Her sister braced her in an awkward hug. I knew there had been something there but I never thought they would act on it, Dawn thought.
"I knew you loved him Buffy, and he has become a member of the family as far as I am concerned." Dawn looked hopeful at those last words. She really had come to look at Spike as an older brother. He had been there for her to lean on after the others began to move forward after Buffy's death.
"Not so fast Dawn, we are just beginning and I don't want to rush things." Buffy was afraid to admit to Dawn that she had been thinking along the same lines. I have already been thinking of him as mine for a while now.
Buffy looked at her sisters face and quietly added, "But don't' worry Spike and I are very serious about each other. We just need a little bit of time to see where we are heading." Dawn's face brightened again at this news. "But you can't tell anyone yet, we have another important matter to discuss before the gang gets wind of Spike and I."
"Whatever you say," said Dawn. "But the way you two look at each other, the secret is not going to stay hidden long." Buffy just smiled at that thought. Xander would have a heart attack while Anya congratulated them on having a sex life. Tara would blush, but Buffy thought Tara wouldn't be to surprised, she seemed to be the only other group member to know what was going on, besides Dawn. Now I need to think about what to do about Willow. This thought put a frown on Buffy's face.
"I know we need to talk about last night." Dawn sounded a bit frightend and quickly began, "I didn't know we were going there, she said a movie."
Buffy was quick to interupt her, "Dawn, I know you didn't have anything to do with last night. Please don't think I blame you, this is all in Willow's court." Buffy went to her sister and put her arms around her. "We need to decide if we want her to leave, or how to get her some help."
Dawn looked up at her sister with tears in her eyes. "Willow and Tara were like my parents after you died, but now I am scared to even have her near. Tara was right to leave, Willow is in to deep."
Buffy was glad they were on the same page, with teenagers sometimes you were never quite sure. "That's all I needed to hear from you. I am going to speak to Willow today. She will have 24-hours to leave. I won't have her frightening you or trying to destroy the new life we are building."
The sisters stood together in the kitchen unaware of Willow standing outside listening in. They think they can just get rid of me after all I have done for them, we'll just see about that.
Chapter Six
After Angel hung up with Spike he turned to Cordelia and pulled her to him. He hugged her tight, reminding himself that they were also beginning a new chapter together and she would be there for him through this. "I need you to drive me to Sunnydale. Spike and Buffy need us." Those were two names that he never dreamed of saying the same sentence unless is was about a battle. But now it felt right.
"I thought that was where we were going," Cordelia leaned into his embrace and whispered "Thank you for trusting that I will be there for you." They broke their embrace and went to gather supplies and to let Wes, Gunn, and Fred know what was up.
"Buffy and Spike?" Wes looked as if he was going to faint. "Yes, Wes, my childe and love have gone and fallen for each other. Oddly enough, I am happy about it. They will be good for one another."
Wes smiled at that, "Wonder if Giles knows yet."
"You are not going to call him," Cordelia said sharply, but with a smile.
"I need you guys to stay here in LA," Angel began. "Fred I need to know if you will look after Liam for me?" Angel really didn't want to leave his new born son, but he needed to asses the danger in Sunnydale before bringing him there.
She smiled shyly and answered "You knew you didn't need to ask that." Fred had gotten over her crush on Angel, seeing the feelings developing between him and Cordelia, she had realized her feelings had been that of hero worship. It was her feelings towards Wesley that were confusing her.
"Gunn and Wes, I need you guys to continue to look into this prophesy thing. I am going to put Buffy's group on it too, but I have a feeling we will be dealing with another problem there." Angel couldn't help but deeply worry about Willow, Rack was bad news. Even Angelus had been slightly afraid of him, and Angelus feared no one.
"I will keep in touch with you guys, and if you need us for anything," he said this as he looked at Fred, "we will either be staying at Buffy's or at the magic shop." He stopped and thought for a moment, "I will call you guys to come out as soon as I know it is safe, I want that group to meet my group." He added silently to himself, plus if my childe is right there will be a wedding of sorts to celebrate soon.
"We're all packed. Spell books, laptop, clothes, and blood. Ready to go." Cordy had repeated the list of items like they were all a normal part of a packing list. God I am falling hard for her. Angel thought as he grabbed her hand and led them to the door to the garage.
******
Dawn and Buffy arrived at the magic shop just before noon. Buffy saw Anya behind the counter counting money as usual. Xander was at the table pouring over the books, trying to figure out what the latest evil was in Sunnydale. This particular evil had a petty side, and they were having a hard time figuring it out. I have no problems here. She thought to herself as she looked at her two friends.
"Where is Willow?" Buffy asked a bit concerned, with a touch of anger in her voice. She thought she had made it clear that they needed to talk, and that she would be meeting her here.
Xander looked up from his reading and then ran over to Dawn as soon as he saw her arm. "What happened, are you OK?"
"I fine," Dawn lied. She was actually really worried about Willow not being at the shop. "Buffy can I call Tara and invite her into this? I think she really deserves to be here too." Dawn had become close to Tara during Buffy's death, she had been the only one besides Spike to really help her through.
Buffy felt ashamed that she had forgotten to call Tara. She had begun to really like Tara and knew she belonged here. "I will give her a quick call, and then I guess we all need to sit and talk." I can't believe Willow isn't here. Does she think this whole thing is a joke? I was serious when I said for her to be here!
After hanging up with a concerned Tara, Buffy turned to a table full of curious eyes. "Where do I begin? I guess with an I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being so withdrawn since you brought me back."
Spike chose that moment to come in through the training room. Buffy had been silently hoping he would show. She noted the look of concern on his face, but smiled sweetly to him as he came over to sit on the counter behind her.
Bloody hell this woman has gotten too far under my skin. Going to the shop to face that group on her own. I told her I was here for her, why didn't she come and ask me. Buffy turned and looked at him and whispered so only he could hear "I was letting you sleep." She took a step back so she was closer to him.
Xander had a questioning look of confusion on his face now and Anya smiled at her knowingly. Buffy smiled and continued "A lot has happened in the the past 48 hours that has brought me back my old self." Her smile grew as she said, "You could say it has been a Bloody Revelation." She heard Spike's growl of approval and went on.
"As I was saying before Spike came in, I apologize for being so distant, but now things are going to change. There are things I have to deal with now and the people here are the ones I trust." Tara walked in right as Buffy said this. Buffy turned to her and smiled at her, "Tara, I'm glad you could come. You are a very important part of this group." Buffy wiped an emotional tear from her eye and continued. "You guys are where I am going to begin my life again." Buffy stopped for a moment and thought of Giles, he was still a part of her, but now a more distant part. He was a parental figure and now she was moving out on her own.
Xander looked at Spike cautiously and began to say something, but Anya quickly cut in "Xaner shut up, you have me and she didn't judge. She needs him, don't judge her." Xander smiled at his bride to be and turned to Buffy. "If he ever hurts you I will stake him myself." Buffy smiled at Xander, not realizing she had been worrying about his reaction.
"I have not yet properly congratulated the two of you yet. Xander I am so happy you found someone. I know you had a thing for me for years, that I couldn't reciprocate. You have always been a brother to me. Anya welcome to my growing family. Please promise to make Xander happy." Buffy quickly continued when Anya got ready to speak. "but don't share all the ways you make him happy."
Buffy then leaned back into Spike and he slipped off the counter and put his arms around her, knowing she needed his strength for the next topic. "As you can see from Dawn's bright pink cast," Buffy paused for a moment and asked her sister, "Didn't they have any less bright colors?" Spike growled in reply and Dawn cringed. "I don't want to know about that story do I?" Dawn shook her head and Spike just grinned that sexy evil grin.
"Anyway, we have a serious matter. Willow." Tara looked like she was going to fall a part at any moment. Dawn moved by her side and took her hand. "Willow needs help, and she needs it fast."
Buffy looked at her sister and was very proud at what she saw. Teenagers today don't seem to care about much, but Dawn cared very deeply for all of the people close to her. "Willow was supposed to take Dawn to the movies last night, but instead she took her to a ." Buffy turned to Spike for help. It had just hit her where Dawn had been.
Spike pulled her in close while she cried. "She took Dawn to a bloody magic dealer." His tone was cold and bearly hid the anger he was feeling. "Willow is in deep with some very black and powerful magic."
Buffy was just exhausted. This had been more than she had dealt with since she had returned. I knew this was going to be hard, but I would pick demon slaying any day over dealing with people and emotions.
Tara put her arms around Dawn and said quietly "I am so sorry. If I hadn't left she would never have."
Dawn quickly cut her off, "Don't blame yourself. This has been coming since before I even came." Buffy turned and gave her a confused look. Dawn continued "You have each told me stories of Willow using her magic to make things 'better' when she was hurting. This time things have just gone too far."
Buffy continued drawing her strength from Spike and Dawn's courage, "Willow was supposed to meet me here, and obviously she's not here. Tara I hate to ask."
"No problem Buffy, I care about her still. Give me a moment and I'll find her." Tara fell into a trance and when she came back too she had tears in her eyes. "She is with Amy. She looks really bad, her eyes are completely black."
"I can't allow her to return to the house, only to get her stuff. Can you get a message to her." The room was quiet as Tara did as asked.
Spike was rubbing Buffy's shoulders, sensing that the situation was really getting to be too much for her. "I made a phone call," he started, unsure if he wanted to continue. "Angel and Cordelia are on their way."
Angel, on his way here. Why? "Because we need his help with Rack." Spike replied to her silent question. Buffy glanced at him with another silent question, can you read my thoughts? "Later" was the reply she heard. She turned back to the rest of the group and sunk back into his embrace.
Buffy turned to Dawn and Tara, "Do you think she would be safe staying with you a few days? Just until we know things are safe."
Tara smiled happily, "Sure, Willow hasn't been to my new place, so I can still place a bane against her." Tara got a look on her face as if a light bulb just went on. "After she takes her stuff from your place, I can put a no magical entrance on the doors. That should at least keep you safe inside." Spike could feel some of the tension drain from Buffy. He also felt some relief, he had been worried about how to keep her safe in the daylight.
"Thanks Tara." She turned to Dawn, "Why don't you and Tara go now and get your stuff. Call me often to let me know you're OK." Dawn came over and hugged her sister, "I'll be OK, now that I have my big sister back." She gave Spike a hug too, and Dawn and Tara left the shop.
"So what do we do when Willow does show up here." Xander didn't even try to hide the fear and anger in his voice. "We knew she was in too deep when she brought you back, but I never thought she would hurt any of us."
"Angel and Cordelia will be here tonight," Spike looked at a very tired looking Buffy and continued, "We will make more decisions then. Xander stay with Anya and call us if she shows." Xander nodded and Anya went back over to the register - Xander knew that she was afraid by that action alone, Anya always went to count money when she had a lot on her mind.
"Go home and get some rest Buffy," Xander hugged her tight and went to his fiancée. "We'll manage till we figure out what to do next. I'm just glad to have you back." He looked up at Spike and said quietly "Take care of her." Spike nodded and led her towards the training room.
Chapter Seven
Spike carried her the last couple of blocks to he house. Thank god Sunnydale has so many underground tunnels. Buffy had fallen asleep on his shoulder almost as soon as he picked her up. Buffy, I hope you realize soon how close I want us to be, because I don't know how long I can wait.
As they came to the basement entrance to her house, Spike stopped. He could hear movement inside. He nudged Buffy awake and quietly told her to stay put while he went in to see who was inside.
In the kitchen he saw Dawn's note saying they were leaving so he knew it wasn't her and Tara. He quietly went upstairs and saw Willow and Amy packing. Willow turned to him, "I know I am no longer welcome here. Tell Buffy I will come to her when I am ready to talk."
Spike made no effort to conceal the anger and threat in his voice, "If you try to harm her, Dawn, or any of them, I will kill you."
Willow shutterd and nodded before grabbing her stuff to leave. "Spike, I don't approve of her new choices, you over me and the group, and soon you won't be able to stop me." With that she and Amy went downstairs and left.
Spike went into the living room to find Buffy crying on the couch. He went over to her and pulled her onto his lap. They layed like that for some time. When Buffy had cried the rest of her tears she looked up at him. "Thank you." It was all that needed to be said. He kissed her gently and pulled her head back to his chest and stroked her hair, making her relax and get some much needed sleep.
Once he felt her heartbeat slow into a slumbering beat he allowed himself to think. Why am able to hear her thoughts now and why can she hear mine. I haven't even bitten her, yet. There has been no claim started between us. The only one she should be able to even possibly do that with is Angel. Spike shuttered when it finally dawned on him.
When he had questioned Xander about the spell that brought her back, Xander had admitted that the urn had broken and the spell shouldn't have worked. It had to have been The Powers That Be that brought her back to this hell. They are also the ones that must be responsible for my chip only working on certain people.
Spike had yet to tell anyone that he was not as neutered as they all thought. If he tried to drink from a human, and had no intention of killing them, he could bite them. The only person he had tried it on was a murder. He had just seen the man dump the body and decided that if anyone deserved to be bitten it was him. He had only drank a bit, enough to feed and not kill.
Spike quietly thanked the powers for allowing him this second chance of being with her. I won't loose her again. I may have failed you once but I won't again. With that promise made he let himself relax with her in his arms, and waited for Angel to arrive.
Chapter Eight