Warning!: Contains lesbians, but may also contain traces of nuts.
Notice: It's 3:06 in the morning and I don't really know what the hell I'm doing right now, let alone know why I'm still up, but oh well. This is kind of a crack-fic, I got bored of writing serious-ish stuff all the time and thought I would take a break and have some fun with this story. Enjoy!
Summary: Batman finds himself in the home of two young ladies and things become a little hectic to say the least. R&R!
Disclaimer: Batman is owned by DC comics.
The Birds And The Bat
Chapter One
I knew I was a nerd, I had always been a nerd; I was bullied in school because I was one of the few students that actually got on and did my work. But hey, I got pretty good grades in the end, so I suppose it was worth it, although in recent years my life had taken a pretty bad turn and I was now on the road to no where, no job, no college, no real career prospects. I had tried further study and tried to go into nursing, I even worked in a library for a while, but I ended up dropping out of college four years in a row and quitting my job. But at the beginning of this story, I didn't care at all that I was unemployed and not in college; I had an awesome girlfriend that I loved with all my heart, a fantastic family, some great friends, two homes to go to and was well and truly obsessed with the Batman comic books, Batman cartoon series and Nolan-verse Batman movies (Batman Begins/The Dark Knight). Yep, life was pretty sweet, and with my girlfriend not working at the time either we had time to just hang out and bum around together.
It was one night around that time in my life at about midnight that my story begins. The streets outside were frozen from the cool touch of Winter and the air was brisk and polluted, as it usually was in London. The sky was dark but my girlfriends bedroom was well lit by a bright light which hung down from the ceiling close to the window.
I was sat at my laptop on my girlfriend's bed whilst she played World of Warcraft on her own laptop, staring intently at her screen. To be honest though, I was staring just as intently at my own screen, only I was reading Batman fanfiction. We were both in our usual attire of pyjamas, laying casually on top of our quilts. My fake blonde hair was tied up in its usual messy high-up pony tail and her dark brown hair was waving gracefully down her back and shoulders. Every so often I would giggle at something I had read or even do a complete and utter fan-girl squeal of excitement, something which I would afterwards hate myself for. If I was enjoying a story too much I would close the window and save it for another day in fear of reaching the end and then having nothing to read for a while. On this occasion, this was the case; I had forced myself away from reading for a while and begun writing my own Batman fanfiction, because, let's face it, Batman is simply awesome.
I don't really know what it was that had me so hooked, I didn't really care what it was to be truthful, I was just enjoying having an obsession and something to think about other than the pains and responsibilities of being a nineteen year old girl living in London. Though really I was on antidepressants, so there wasn't much pain, and not having my own place or children to look after or even a job meant few responsibilities, other than keeping my bedroom tidy, which my mother insisted on, and of course I had my girlfriend to support me though any rough patches.
Maybe it was having someone to look up to and idolize that had me so obsessed with the batman fables, someone who really did something with their life, someone to admire for they were not afraid to take a stand and benefit the World in some way- and before you say it, yes I know Batman is a fictional character. But what a fictional character he is! With that dark hair and huge muscular physic…Huh, I guess I could have loved Batman so much because I fancied the guy, but I can't help but figure that there was a lot more to it than that. I mean, maybe it was also because I was a nerd, I was never able to stand up to anyone either, and Batman, well, he's so cool and courageous, almost the opposite to myself. Or maybe he represents a part of what's inside of me, a rage desperate to get out and a wanting to save the World, or at least the city I live in as he saves Gotham. The point is, Batman inspired me, and more importantly kept me busy for a while, but on that night, everything I thought I knew about the Batman character was about to change, hell, my entire life was about to change.
I was beginning to get tired, it was closing on midnight after all; I rubbed some sleep from my blue eyes with a loose fist.
"Someone sleepy?" my girlfriend smirked looking up from her computer.
I shook my head but then yawned, I shrugged now that I had been caught out. "Well, maybe a little" I smiled.
It was about four point five seconds after that smile occurred on my face that it happened, that terrifying yet wonderful moment that I wouldn't have expected in a million years. The moment that would change my life forever…
The large window in my girlfriends bedroom suddenly smashed and something dark rolled in on to the floor, we both gasped with eyes wide, I even backed up a little towards the wall on the bed in horror. The black thing on the floor suddenly jumped into a standing position and, though it seemed impossible, my eyes actually widened even more and I'm pretty sure my heart may have even stopped.
I had fallen asleep and this was all just a dream, at least that's what I tried to convince myself of, or maybe I had died and this was the afterlife?
"Am-am I dead?" I whispered to my girlfriend, neither of us taking our eyes from the dark figure in the bedroom. She hit me around the side of the head. "Owe!" I snapped. "What was that for?"
"Well, did it hurt?" she asked turning to me now.
"Yes!" I rubbed at the side of my head.
"Then you're alive" she clarified.
The masked figure cleared its throat. "Excuse me?"
Our attention shot back to the man standing in the room by the now almost empty window frame save from a few pieces of broken glass still attached to it. Damn, I still thought my eyes were deceiving me, it couldn't real, it couldn't be him, I'd either gone insane or this guy was insane, after all, who goes round jumping through people's up stairs windows dressed as Batman?