Hi People its Dawn! So this is my first attempt at a Fan Fiction, bare with me.

So I was wondering if anyone would like be my FFN mentor I'm new and don't know how to do anything lol.

I have so many question! Ugh

..well lets get on with the story right...Kay!

Ps: I am new at writing out lemons.

Disclaimer: I don't own rights to Twilight original characters. Or any major labels, companies or brads mentioned.

[This applies to all chapters for further notice.]

Chapter 1 - New Hate

Preface - I use to think ice hands were my safety. That cold skin was my resting place. I was wrong, so wrong, cold betrayed me, left me alone, fragile, and immensely hurt. I could never forgive the cold silent heart for abandoning me. No longer my angel but ...my enemy.

Bella Pov - My body was awake but my eyes stayed shut. I was afraid that when I opened them reality would set in and sorrow would easily drown me. Pull me under until I was lost in the pain that surrounded me. I peaked through one slightly open eye and was shocked at how bright it was in my room. My other eye slowly mimicked the first as I squinted adjusting to the rare sight in front of me. A smile slowly broke across my face. the muscles hurt being as tho I didn't smile much at all lately.

I was beginning to think Id forgotten how. Sun in forks meant that the Cullin's would be M.I.A. It hurt my already destroyed heart that the thought of their absence was pleasing to me but it was the only way to escape the pain. Seeing them caused me not only mentally but physical pain. I swear my heart literally aches when ever I catch a glimpse of Alice's smiling face, or..Ed-Edwards God like...well just Edward in general..

Beep-Beep-Beep...

My alarm sounded right on time shaking the vision of my former family out my mind, and for once I wasn't completely dreading going to school. I sat up resting on my elbows, would today be the day Id finally be able to move on? I Slowly got out of bed careful not to jostle my newly sprained ankle. Without Edward around it seemed like danger couldn't wait to get reacquainted with my fragile human body...GREAT.

I managed to limp my way the the bathroom without causing further injury to myself. I turned the showers cold water and took my place in the corner against the wall clutching to my knees. The cold water was soothing, Familiar. After a half hour passed i forced myself out the shower to continue my morning rituals.

Being as though I was a crippled walking disaster, Angela had agreed to be my chauffeur. Even though my driving foot was perfectly fine Charlie would here nothing of it. He was originally gonna drive me but there was no way Id live through all the stares. Its not like i wasn't the talk of Forks High already. The rumors of why Me and Edward broke up were getting more and more creative.

I heard she got knocked up and aborted Her and Edwards baby.

Well I Heard She tried to seduce Carlisle Cullen.

No she tried to seduce Esme, Edwards Own mother!

It was actually amusing to see what rumors the day would bring. I made my way down the stairs grabbing my backpack and and a bottled water on my way out the door. Angela was already waiting at the end of drive way as always. She got out the car to open my door. I smiled as a thanks and ducked into the car. Angela always drove right below the actual speed limit which i was grateful for.

"So hows your ankle Bella?", Angela tried to make small talk at a red light, I appreciated the gesture but was in no mood for conversation. I heard her sigh when i didn't respond and immediately regretted it. Angela was one of the few people who still payed me any mind and here i was being an ass.

"Uhh its okay thanks" I managed to force a smile. Hoping i hadn't hurt her feelings too bad. I tilted my water bottle back and forth listen to the sloshing sound it made, the silence was becoming uncomfortable.

"Angela? why do you still hang out with me, everyone else acts like i have the plague." I didn't even notice I was the one who stated to speak until I realized it was my lips moving in sync with the conversation. I looked around aware of the silence and that we were now parked in the school lot, when my eyes landed on Angela her cheeks were flushed pink. Angela took the keys out the ignition and turned to face me.

"I don't know" She smiled weakly.

"Why not? I don't know if you've noticed Bella, but I'm not the prettiest or most popular girl at forks" I turned to meet her eyes she was being sincere.

"Your just as pretty as any other girl in forks Angela, thanks for not bailing on me" I smiled quickly at her before reaching for the door handle.

"Bella?" Angela spoke in a hushed tone, I'm planning a sleep over to celebrate the end on Junior year, I want you to be there. I mean if you can, you don't have to i just thought-"

"Ang breath, of course ill be there" I laughed at Angela's out of character behavior, she was usually so composed and here she was rambling...weird.

Her face lit up and she pulled my into and awkward hug before we headed off to class.

The Halls were full of stares and whispers, It had been almost two moths when was this shit going to end. I hurried my pace, all I wanted was to go back in time when I was happy when Edward wanted me, when I had a family who love and excepted me. If only i could go back to that night and get him to stay, prove to him he wasn't a danger to me, that he was the only one who could ever protect me.

I sat down at my desk there were only a few other students in class and that I was grateful for when I felt the hot tears streaming down my face. No one noticed, i rested my head in my arms fighting the vision that crept over me. The voices of students increased and I barely heard when Mr. Banner instructed the class to take out there math books.

Flashback:

I snuggled deeper into Edwards cold embrace.

"Sleep my Bella." He whispers as he rubbed circles on my lower back.

"I cant" I hitched my leg over his "I'm not tired" and put on my best puppy dog pout as I lifted myself to look at him resting my elbows on his hard chest.

"Close your eyes, I'll sing that usually seems to help" He pushed a lose strand of hair behind my ear. His gaze alone had my..umm lady parts... screaming.

"I DON'T want to sleep Edward." I sat up pulling my legs under me indian style and began playing with the strand of hair Edward had tucked behind my ear. "I want something else" I whispered

"What do you want Bella, Anything, its yours" How could he be so clueless. He had the most genuine smile on his godlike face. That smirk had my panties wet. I was positive he didn't catch my drift. So I stepped up my game a little. I pulled my legs from my pretzel position and swung them over Edward straddling his chest. The cool of his skin slowly seeped through the crouch of my thin silk pajama shorts. It took all my restraint to not dry hump him like a dog in heat.I leaned in so the my lips were inches from his ear.

"Kiss me" I licked my lips after making my demand as I cradled his face in my hands. His eyes darkened right as out lips met. I couldn't help the moan the escaped my lips. If I wasn't so turned on I would have been so embarrassed. His hands caressed my body as the made their way down to my hips. My hips instinctively ground into his pelvis while my tongue begged his mouth for entrance. He gripped my hips halting all movement and ill be damned if I didn't whimper like a little ass baby.

"Bella, I cant" But his word didn't register. I quickly pulled my shirt over my head before roughly forcing my lips on his.

"Why-Cant-You?" I asked between kisses. But he was frozen. I groaned in frustration continued to kiss him...nothing.

"Kiss me damn it!" I collapsed on his chest feeling defeated unattractive and unwanted. I became all to aware that a was topless and throwing myself at Edward. Fuck.

"I'm sorry" I sobbed "I'm sorry I'm not good enough for you Edward' *Hiccup* I'm sorry I'm not as pretty as Rosalie and Alice and Ton-" Before I could finish my rant I was laying flat on my back and Edwards lips were assaulting my own. I didn't hesitate I griped my fingers in his hair and pushed his lips harder against mines. I wrapped my legs around his waist needing to feel more of his body against mines.

"You are the most beautiful creature I have ever laid eyes on, how could you possibly think I don't want you." I was panting like a porn star gazing lustfully into his eyes as he continued his monolog.

"I want your body just as much as I want your blood Bella" and with that I lost it. I roughly pulled his face to mines while attempting to pull his sweats off with my toes.

"Make love to me Edward, please" My face was soaked with tears and I didn't care. I needed him to prove to me he wanted me.

"Please" I whimpered closing my eyes waiting for the rejection. But what happened next took me off guard. Within seconds Edward was completely naked. He had had his fingers in the elastic of my shorts and panties. My eyes were wide saucers. I may have also had a mini orgasm.

Edwards eyes burned my own they were filled with such lust and passion.

"Promise me you will tell me If it hurts to badly Bella." I think I was in a state of shock. Seeing Edward naked for the first time. My body was no longer responding. Sweet Baby Jesus. He was perfect. I managed to nod my head and he smiled. Damn it he smiled that smile that made me weak as he took off my last bit of clothing at a human pace. Maybe I should have bedazzled my lady parts. I seemed so plain, my skin lifeless while his glistened in the moonlight. My room had gotten completely silent and finally felt my nerves pay a visit. What did I do? I covered my pussy..like a pussy.

"Don't hide yourself from me Bella, You're...You're so perfect" He moved my hand replacing it with his own and I couldn't help but push my hot wet core into his hand. He brought his hand to his face inhaling my scent as he let out the sexiest animalistic sound I have ever heard.

"Exquisite." He lowered his body to mines and began to kiss my neck as he lined up with my entrance. He laced his other hand with mines and brought it above my head to rest on the pillow.

"I love you My Bella" He whispered in my ear as he slowly began to enter me. I gasp in shock, it all felt so foreign. Like my body was being stretched in a way it wasn't capable. I shut my eyes tight as he pushed deeper inside of me. I held back the whimper that was begging to escape my lips. I knew he would stop If he knew the pain I was feeling at that moment. I felt Like I was being ripped apart inside. I couldn't stop the tears that escaped my eyes. Edward took them as happy tears and began to push his way through my barrier. The pain shot through my entire body and I cried out digging my nails into his hips.

"Stop!" I cried. Edward was right I wasn't ready. Panic set in and I began my feeble attempt to push Edward off of me. He didn't move. It was like he couldn't hear me. He Continued to push deeper inside of me. The pain was so intense.

"Edward stop!" I was crying hysterically now. Why wasn't he stopping? I began thrashing trying to release his hold on me. That only made his movements increase.

"So Good Bella." Was all he said as he moved himself in and out of me at an uncomfortable speed. The pain intensified tearing at my insides. His hand moved to my hips as he pounded into me.

"Edward stop please! you're hurting me!" and with that Edwards body was pulled off of me at vampire speed. I sat up quickly pulling my knees to my chest in attempts to cover myself fearing Charlie had been the one to pull Edward off of me. But He was away on business and there was no way Charlie could move Edward. I blinked the tears out of my eyes to asses my surroundings. I saw Eward across the room his hands gripping into his hair his knees to his chest mimicking mines and Alice kneeling beside him. Her lips were moving to fast and I couldn't hear what she was saying.

"Bella look at me honey" It was Alice's voice when did she leave Edwards side? This shit was moving way too fast.

"Its not his fault Alice. Please believe me. Its not his fault." I crawled to the bottom of the bed bringing the sheet with me wrapping it around myself. I fumbled of the bed to Edward across the room. He depicted the look of a mental patient.

"Edward look at me please, its okay, I'm okay, See" I held his face in my hands forcing him to look at me he didn't fight it.

"It was the blood Bella, I never meant to hurt you. I couldn't control myself. If Alice hadn't showed up, Bella I would have killed you. This is exactly what I was afraid of."

I pulled his fingers from hes hair and placed them over my heart "I'm hear Edward, its my fault. You were right I was not ready."

"Ill never hurt you again Bella." He got up so fast the movement didn't register until he was fully dressed and At my window seal. I fumbled with the sheet trying to go after him."

"Edward wait!"

after that night everything changed. For the second time Edward Cullen Left me for my own good. But this time he stuck around forks to torture me.

The bell rang jolting me from my daydream...I rubbed my eyes and stretched as I laugh a my stupid mistake...Dream...more like being stuck in the reality of this nightmare I call life.

So that's Chapter One! What do you think? I'm still looking for a beta. If this story does well which I hope it does. I have Big Big plans Love muffins. I'm still looking for a beta and pre-reader and a review party! so PM me. Ill be waiting!

Blog&&Banner coming soon.