Breathe
The rest of the flock and I stood there, tears awash on our faces, staring at the last letter that Fang had written. How could this have happened? It felt like everything was a blank in my mind. Fang was gone.
I see your face in my mind as I drive away
'Cause none of us thought it was gonna end that way
People are people and sometimes we change our minds
But it's killing me to see you go after all this time
Sure, maybe Fang and I had our disagreements, but in the end, we were soulmates, just like the voice said. I remembered every single moment with Fang. Like when someone dies in a movie, you know how suddenly, a heartbreaking flashback starts on the screen? Well that was what was happening in my mind. Fang with me in the school, him trying to make me laugh, Fang and I fighting, Fang and I flying together, Fang and I kissing...I didn't even bother to try to get the tears of my face. This was one time when I wasn't ashamed to cry. The pain was so unbearable that I wanted to tear out my heart to stop it from breaking.
Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm
Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm
Music starts playin' like the end of a sad movie
It's the kinda ending you don't really wanna see
'Cause it's tragedy and it'll only bring you down
Now I don't know what to be without you around
In my mind somewhere, I wondered if someone had watched that scene playing out like a movie, if they'd cry. The ending was one that no one wanted. Fairytale ending huh? Not possible. Why? Because this was my life. Not a princesses. My life was like a tragedy, everyone I cared about, Ari, then Fang, had died. Who would I be without Fang? Fang was like my anchor. The one who always knew what to say to make me feel better. Now he was gone, and he couldn't make me feel better. I was tough, but now I felt nothing but weak. Erasers? They'd probably kick my butt. M-Geeks? They'd definitely kick my butt. Government? I probably wouldn't have the strength to argue. All I cared about was seeing Fang smiling, on front of me. Another tear rolled down my cheek.
And we know it's never simple, never easy
Never a clean break, no one here to save me
You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand
I understood Fang better than anyone. Even more than anyone else in the flock. He knew me like no one else did. Not even Jeb knew me like that. Thinking hard, I realized the way Fang had left was probably the easiest way. Sure, maybe it wasn't a clean break, but that wasn't possible. Usually, he was the only person I truly trusted. Trusted not to let my secrets out, trusted to back me up in battle, trusted to save me if I needed help. The only problem was, he wasn't there anymore. I wouldn't have anyone to vent my worries to, to back me up, to save me. Another tear leaked down my face.
And I can't breathe
Without you, but I have to
Breathe
Without you, but I have to
I felt like I was holding a giant breath, one that I couldn't let go of until Fang was back with me. A huge breath preventing me from breathing. Death was probably easier than living in emotional torture for the next 20 years. But I had to survive. I had to keep breathing because I had to save the world. I was created to do it, and I wouldn't leave the world until I saved the world and found Fang after the flock no longer needed me. A tear tore down my face.
Never wanted this, never want to see you hurt
Every little bump in the road I tried to swerve
People are people and sometimes it doesn't work out
Nothing we say is gonna save us from the fall out
I never wanted to see him leave. I never wanted to see him hurt, just to save the flock. I always tried to take the easier way for him and I, that way less pain was felt. But we were still human, despite the whole genetic experiment thing. We still had a soul, we still had a brain, and we still had a heart. Nothing was gonna save my heart from breaking once Fang left. Two tears rolled off my face.
And we know it's never simple, never easy
Never a clean break, no one here to save me
You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand
I knew him ever since the School. Ever since our crates were put next to eachother, we'd been friends. Maybe I was loud and proud, but he was my counterhalf, quiet and thoughtful. Leaving him would never be easy. Him leaving me was even harder.
And I can't breathe
Without you, but I have to
Breathe
Without you, but I have to
I took a huge breath, and shuddered. Breathing was hard without him. Why? Because the tears rolling down my face were like blood. Blood that came from my heartbreak. If I opened me, I'd probably start wailing. So I kept my mouth shut, and my nose was so stuffed that I couldn't breathe.
It's two a.m., feelin' like I just lost a friend
Hope you know it's not easy, easy for me
It's two a.m., feelin' like I just lost a friend
Hope you know this ain't easy, easy for me
It was already two a.m., six hours after we'd found the letter. Angel was on the floor, still crying. Nudge was staring ahead, tears still streaking down her face. Iggy and Gasman were staring at the floor, and as I looked over for a moment, I saw a tear roll down Gazzy's face. They'd all lost a friend. A brother. I'd lost a brother, a friend, a soulmate. (People out there, ever had a best friend go away, move, leave you for a popular crowd? That's how it felt for me.) I hoped out there, wherever Fang was, that he'd know that this wasn't easy for any of us.
And we know it's never simple, never easy
Never a clean break, no one here to save me, oh
We all knew that life could never be simple. As long as we were still the mutant bird kids, life wasn't ever going to be easy.
I can't breathe
Without you, but I have to
Breathe
Without you, but I have to
Breathe
Without you, but I have to
The hardest part was that I could look for him. I could find him and reunite with him. The only problem was that Fang was right. If I found him, problems would start all over again. I had to let go of him. Move on. My hand clutching the letter tightened, and I sank to the floor, covering my face with my hands, hoping it was all a nightmare. Hoping that when I woke up, Fang would still be there. But I knew inside my heart that he was gone.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry
"I'm sorry." I murmured, a final tear streaking down my face.
I've just got a thing for depressing songs. Haha. Tell me if you cried. Why? Because I wanna know if my writing is any good. Hm....Oh yeah, and READ AND REVIEW. (Disclaimer-Breathe is not my song. It's Taylor Swift's. Maximum Ride is not mine, or Fang wouldn't have left. I cried my eyes out when he left.)