Dear Die-ary,

life sucks. well, at least my life does. Oh, you lucky people with people who care about you. well I have noone. I am utterly alone. yep, that's me. I am Elly C. fourteen years worth of one tiny little mistake. and believe me, people have mentioned to me before that I am a mistake. well, anyway. here's a recount of my stupidly dismal day.

I did not go home to Devi's apartment like I ususally do. Instead I took a road that took me to house number 777. I took a deep breath and knocked on the door.

Johnny sighed. "I'm in the middle of something" he said, rolling his eyes.he put down his gun and started for the door. "Johnny, what are you doing?" asked Mr.Eff "You shouldn't let something as stupid as the door come between you and your death." Johnny rolled his eyes. "it's not going to work." he said. he walked faster, leaving Mr. Eff behind. he opened the door, surprised to see a fourteen year old girl standing on his doorstep.

My eyes widened and I started hyperventilating. "Stop it!" I whispered to myself. "umm, hi." I said. "Umm, I'm Elly. you may not know me, but I know you. y-your my dad." okay, i wouldn't take myself seriously if I was him. Of course, I didn't blame him when he slammed the door. "no, seriously!" I shouted after him, pounding on the door. "You and Devi!" the door flew open so suddenly that I almost hit him in the face. that would have been a very bad first impression. "devi?" he asked. "yeah, she's my mom." I explained. "you mean, Devi's your mom?" I nodded. that's when the door slammed the second time. I growled angrily. "this is getting frustrating!" I shouted. I slumped against the door and sat down. I pulled up my sleeve. I needed to calm my nerves. I pulled up the leg of my pants and grabbed my knife. almost mechanically, I pulled up the sleeve of my shirt.

"She can't be Devi's daughter!" shouted Johnny. "Because that would mean that something happened between us, and I'm pretty sure nothing did!" Mr. Eff gave him a hard look. "Are you sure?" he asked. Johnny's eyes widened. "Oh, gosh she is my daughter." he whispered. "Just kill the girl and get back to your suicide attempt" said Mr. Eff. "I guess I should." Johnny said. he walked over to the door, but instead looked through the window next to it. the girl sat, huddled inthe doorway. As Johnny watched, the girl pulled up the sleeve of her shirt and drew a large knife over her arm. "Come look at this" beckoned Johnny, waving his arm. Mr. Eff slid over to the window and looked out. "Interesting." he said. "she sure acts like she could be your daughter." "I'm gonna open the door, leave now.' siad Johnny. he opened the door a crack.

I sighed happily. the feeling of the cold knife against my bare flesh felt good. I had been cutting myself for longer than I could remember. I turned my head with a start when the door opened. Johnny had a half smile on his face. "So, you're Elly, right?" he asked. "Yes." I answered. "Come in." he said. I gladly walked into his house. it was dirty and cluttered, Devi's apartment was waaayyy nicer. there were bloodstains on the walls and it smelled kind of funny. But I like it. "This is my house.' said Johnny. "Here, I'll take you on a tour..."

Johnny quickly grabbed a large butcher knife and held it behind his back. He guided Elly down the hall, and to a door. "I'm gonna show you my favorite room in the house." he said. Johnny led Elly down the staircase and into the pitch black basement. he slammed the door and held the butcher knife over his head, poised to sink it into Elly's throat. that's whne he hesitated. Elly did look a lot like Devi. she also looked a lot like him. and maybe devi would come back for her, because he did know that if she was Devi's daughter, devi would not like her here. Suddenly, Mr. Eff slid up next to him. "kill her." he said. "It's as easy as killing the others." "Who's that?" asked Elly, turning around slowly...

Oh, gosh. I thought. he's going to kill me. But what really caught my attention wasn't the knife that was held above my neck, but the small creature at Johnny's feet. johnny threw the knife aside. "I can't do this." he said. "You're wrong. it's not like killing the others. it's like killing a part of me and Devi. all the good parts." the creature at his feet seemed to get enraged. "You're so weak Johnny!" it shouted. "You can't kill a little girl, no wonder you can't kill yourself." and with that, the creature left. "You didn't kill me" I said, surprised. "No." answered Johnny. he reached up and turned on the light, illuminating a small, dark room in the basement. It was filled wiht torture devices and other weapons of murder. and did I mention the blood? No, well It was everywhere. "This doesn't scare you?" he asked me. I shook my head. "No, not really." I replied. Johnny walked in slow circles around me, studying me closely. "You have her eyes." he said. "And my nose." a small smile creeped onto his face. "You look so much like both of us." he laughed. "Well, I guess you really are my daughter." he finally said, after a moment of silence. "And i'm letting you know that if you stay there are a few rules. First of all, I am not a fatherly figure, so don't act like I am. second of all, you are going to have to deal with blood and dying people a lot, so be warned. third, I am an insomniac, do I will be up and out at night." Johnny took a breath. "Do you have a nickname?" he asked me. "I nodded. "Yeah." I said. "people call me Lly." Johnny smiled. "You can call me Nny." he pointed me in the direction of the stairs. "So how is Devi doing?" he asked.

"You're letting her stay!?" shouted Mr. Eff. "If you're going to die you can't be emotionally attached to anyone!" "I'm not emotionally attached to her!" Johnny shouted. "There's just so much of me I see in her. Like she has my same thoughts." "This is no time for idiotic feelings, Johnny" said PyschoDoughboy, floating up beside Mr. Eff. "The girl will only get in the way of your perfect suicide." "No she won't." pointed out Johnny. "I'm not going to get emotionally attached like I did with Devi. I don't want anything like that happening to me ever again." Johnny sighed and sat down. "That was the closest I ever felt to love." he whispered. Mr.Eff rolled his eyes and shook his head. "I guess we'll have to see this girl for ourselves." said PyschoDoughboy.

I sat alone looking out of the window of a small room. A single star was out. even though it was pitch black, I knew what was in it. A small table and a bloodstained mattress that Johnny had dug up from the basement. I was exhausted, but I knew that I would fall asleep hours from now, if at all. And than I heard the door open. "Nny?" I asked. two pairs of eyes glinted at me in the dim light. I took a step backwards. "So this is the girl?" asked one. "Who-who said that?" I stuttered. "Can she hear us?" asked another. "Yeah," I answered. "I can hear you fine." I fumbled around blindly for my knife. "So, this is the little rat I've heard so much about." came a third voice, this one from directly behind me. I turned to see a creature much like the one I had seen at Johnny's feet earlier. I stepped backwards and almost let out a small scream, when a hand clamped over my mouth from behind me. It was Johnny. "shhh" he hushed me. "Can you see them?" he whispered in my ear. I nodded. "Well don't listen to anything they say!" he raised his voice toward them. "Leave her alone!" when they left a moment later, he took his hand off of my mouth. "You really are a lot like me." he said. "not many people can see them. they're creatures of my imagination." my eyes widened. "You're one of the first that can see them." he finished. "Who are they?" I asked. "Well, the one that tried to jump you from behind was PyschoDoughboy. and then the floating one was Nailbunny and the last one is Mr. Eff." wow. my father really is as demented as Devi said he was. "Don't let them bother you." Johnny said. "And don't listen to them. they lie to you." Johnny left the room shortly after saying that, announcing that he was leaving for town. he told me where my new school would be and that i would have to get myself there. And than I was alone again. I stood and looked out the window, wondering what devi was thinking right now.

Devi finally admitted defeat. she had been driving around for hours looking for Elly, and it was midnight and she had seen no sign of her at all today. Well, not like it was any big deal or anyhting, Devi lied to herself. She drove slowly back to her apartment, passing a familiar house on the way. number 777. Devi felt emotions from the past bubbling up inside, threatening to over take her. she braked quickly, for no apparent reason. "What are you doing?" she asked herself. Oh, where could Elly be? Devi knew that she couldn't lie to herself anymore. She needed Elly. Lly was all she had to hold onto. the only good memories she had left of Johnny. Why hadn't she told Lly that before? probably because she was too wrappped up in calling Elly the mistake that she seriously was. Lly was left to put together the peices of a father she had never known. Devi started the car again. But not before seeing a flicker of movement in Johnny's house. Devi drove slowly away. something wet fell onto her hand. it was a single tear. the byproduct of a thousand horrible memories. and one good one. But as Devis drove away she had a feeling that the person in the window felt the same way. because she was almost certain that that person had been Elly.

They came back after midnight. I don't know how, but I had somehow fallen asleep. I woke up to see the three creatures watching me. "Hello Elly." said Mr.Eff. at least I think it was Mr. Eff. "Nny said I shouldn't listen to you." I said. "Your father is a fool." said Mr.Eff. "He left you for fourteen years, what makes you think he wants you now?" I frowned. "He doesn't love you Elly." he said. "I know." I said. "Nobody does." "That's true." said Nailbunny. "So do the only thing meaningful in your life." "Kill yourself." finished PyschoDoughboy. Isn't it creepy how they finish eachother's sentences? I stood up quickly, laying my mind back on track. "No." I said. "I'm not listening to you!" I backed away. "You father is weak!" shouted Mr. Eff. "And you are weak too!" his voice made me cringe, but at the same time it gave me a strength. you know that kind of strength you get when someone says something mean to you and you just have to shout a comeback at them. I am definitly feeling that right now. "I am not weak!" I shouted. "No matter what you tell me, I am not weak! I have grown up in a home where all I'll ever be is an accident! where I'll never get a chance to prove myself because noone will ever lsiten to what I say! A place where I'm worthless and hated like Vermin!" now th tears were flowing freely, the first time in a long time. I pulled up my sleeve. about fifty jagged purple lines were etched all the way up my forearm. "I have to cut myself so that the pain will finally go away and be numb now! I have to cut myself to feel anything" I sank down on the mattress, my shoulders heaving with sobs. "I am not weak." I said quietly. "Because if I was I would have killed myself by now." I heard uncertain whispers behind me. And they finally died down as I fell asleep.

And that, Dear Die-ary, was my day. to be continued tomorrow. until then,

Love Elly.