Title: One Push Too Far.
Disclaimer: Not mine, no profit made.
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: HotchxReid
Prompt: H/R, what else happened at the firing range in LDSK? ^_~
Summary: The line between harmless and sinful was dangerously thin.
Unbeta'd
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Watching with dismay as each of his shots continued to miss their intended marks, Spencer was close to giving up. If it wasn't for the embarrassment he'd feel at having to go into the field unarmed, he already would have.
"You're resisting the follow-through. You need to relax." His mentor in this practice, Hotch, had an air of calm about him that Spencer envied. He knew he needed to relax, he could feel it with every fibre of his being because when it came down to it, every shot he fired sent bolts of fear through him. He couldn't help but feel like he wasn't supposed to fire a gun, it made him feel wrong.
"I can't." Spencer replied. He realized he sounded whiny but he seemed to want it two ways here - to have the right to carry a gun without ever needing to fire it - and it was frustrating him, he was annoyed by himself and it was bleeding through into his attitude with Hotch.
Moving to stand a little closer, not realizing just how much more difficult that made it to concentrate, Hotch asked "What are you afraid of? Why are you resisting?"
'That I'll kill someone, that I'll kill the wrong someone, that I have no right being an agent if I can't stop being a coward,'
Ignoring all those thoughts, knowing he could never tell Hotch all that, Spencer said, "I feel like it's gonna come back and hit me in the head." Lame, maybe, but it would suffice. It also happened to be true, he did feel like he'd end up with a broken nose if he let the recoil loose.
"I promise it wont." Hotch said, amusement but surprisingly no judgement in his voice. "Here, if you hold it right, angle your body to the side," As he spoke, Hotch stepped closer until he was almost pressed against Spencer and took his hands in his; aiming the gun. As Spencer followed Hotch's instructions and angled his stance, he swallowed deeply as he tried to stifle the bodily reaction to having his painfully attractive boss' body against his.
"Don't try to bury the recoil, let the jolt travel through your body." Hotch said, his lips closer to Spencer's ears than he could imagine was socially acceptable. He thought back to all the times Hotch would initiate physical contact between them, with much more frequency than the others, and realized that it may indicate something. Maybe just a little something beneath the surface.
He realized the possibility that Hotch may possibly be attracted to him was a real one.
Though reckless, that realization gave Spencer pause, and enough confidence to think of ways he could test his theory. He knew he shouldn't for many reasons - not least of which was the fact that Hotch was married and mostly likely being nothing more than overly friendly - but unfortunately, his higher intellect wasn't the one in the driver's seat any more. Besides, it was just a little innocent flirting to boost his confidence - which finding out a man like Hotch was attracted to him would do in spades - no harm no foul.
Nodding, Spencer raised the gun again, aimed and fired. True to Hotch's instructions, he let the force of the shot through his whole body but exaggerated it. Feigning innocence, Spencer let his body fall back into the man behind him.
"Sorry." He said meekly, making no move to step away. If Hotch held no interest in him and reacted with avoidance to the intrusion, Spencer would just pretend that he didn't understand how close was too close. People tended to be very quick to believe he was clueless when it came to people and personal interaction.
Spencer was most pleased however, to feel Hotch take a deep, shaky breath. If he wasn't mistaken, his heart was also beating rather fast. Spencer fought the urge to smile and instead checked where his shot had landed, his body still pressed against Hotch's. As expected by now, his shot had missed by a long shot. He was disappointed but mostly, he was pre-occupied by the fact that Hotch still hadn't moved away from him and his breathing had gotten heavier.
Yanking his earmuffs and goggles off, Spencer felt Hotch do the same and tried not to react to the feel of a hard chest moving against his back. Instead. sighing in mock frustration, Spencer said quietly, "I suck."
Hearing a gulp behind him, Spencer was surprised when Hotch's hands - which had fallen to his side - closed around the top of his arms and rubbed, "You don't suck." Hotch whispered, his voice sounding like he was scrambling for focus.
'God,' Spencer thought as he was struck with the knowledge that he could actually have this if he made a move. It was a powerful and terrifying idea and the only question was, would he actually go there?
Could he?
When Hotch almost subconsciously pressed his cheek to the side of his head, Spencer was reminded that - for his lack of experience and despite what people may think about his intelligence ruling him - he was never able to obey his mind above his desires. No longer able to recall why this couldn't happen just once, Spencer felt his doubt getting washed away by his need.
Letting his head fall back against Hotch's shoulder and looking at him through hooded eyes, Spencer whispered, "I could." And smiled, letting Hotch know he'd meant that exactly as it had sounded. He wasn't some confused social outcast who didn't understand people - or, at least not for the most part - he was a man who knew what he wanted and now, Hotch new that too. Spencer really wished he could pretend not to take delight in the shocked expression his words had caused, but he couldn't.
Hotch looked down at his lips, instinctively licking his own, before meeting Spencer's eyes again. Their fiery arousal shone through their gaze but while Hotch was breathing deeply, he seemed like he was going to protest. Spencer suddenly became nervous, he'd been so cocky that he'd worked himself into a corner; he couldn't pretend he hadn't meant anything by his behaviour. If Hotch decided he didn't want this, he was screwed.
But, just when Spencer was about to pull away and apologize, Hotch's brow twitched into a minute frown and he released a frustrated growl before crushing Spencer's lips with his own; Kissing him more passionately than Spencer could remember being kissed in a long time.
Moaning loudly, Spencer brought his hand up to clutch at the back of Hotch's head before pressing his tongue against soft lips. The kiss was quickly becoming something so much more and Spencer began moving against Hotch, pressing his ass into the hastily hardening bulge in Hotch's pants. The other man pulled away from the kiss to groan so Spencer pressed into him again and again; savouring the way Hotch's face almost glowed with arousal. He really was incredibly attractive.
'And kind, strong, honourable, funny ...' Spencer cut off that line of thought immediately, this was a one time thing because he'd wanted it and he never did well and refusing himself something he wanted. Feelings were the last thing he needed.
But there was no denying the effect that Hotch's hardness, pressed against him, was having and Spencer felt the air close in on him as his whole body began to heat up from the stimulation. Looking into Hotch's eyes, Spencer let his lip twitch into a satisfied smirk at the sight of Hotch; flushed and dishevelled. Hotch, who was grinding himself into Spencer eagerly, grunted and grabbed his arms, pushing him forward and away from his body.
Gasping as he was spun, Spencer grunted when his back hit the wall of their unit. Hotch was quickly kissing him again, his hands roaming desperately over his body and making Spencer shiver with need. As he spread his legs and Hotch settled between them - their hard cocks creating a delicious friction between them - his impromptu lover tugged up the stripy sweater he'd opted to wear that day, yanked Spencer's button down shirt out of his pants and ran his hand underneath. The feel of Hotch's rough hands stroking his hot skin, the feel of nails grazing over hardened nipples, made Spencer's vision blur and his mind to spiral out of control.
They moved fluidly against each other for what seemed like an eternity, gasping and moaning against one another as they struggled for air.
The frantic passion in Hotch's movements and kisses combined with the fear of their psuedo-public indecency being walked in on was enough to ensure Spencer wasn't going to last very long. And, knowing this would likely be the only time he'd have the opportunity to be intimate with Hotch, Spencer decided he needed more. Arching his body to create some distance between them, Spencer pressed back against the wall and snaked his hand between them.
Spencer kissed away the groan Hotch released when his fingers brushed over his hardness and worked the difficult zipper; If this was his only chance with Hotch, he was gonna feel him. He was going to give his seemingly cursed mind something he'd actually want to remember. The sensation of Aaron Hotchner hot, heavy and hard in his hand.
"What are we doing?" Hotch whispered against his lips, the question not sounding like a question at all. A good thing since Spencer had no idea how to answer. He had no idea what the hell he was doing.
Instead of dwelling on it, he pushed his hand beneath the band of Hotch's boxers and gripped his cock, relishing both the harsh breath his touch caused and the feel of sticky pre-come marking his fingers. He stroked Hotch hard, fast and firm; his last remaining shred of sense telling him that sooner was better given their all to public setting.
Hotch had his face buried in Spencer's neck while moaning softly, his breath hot against the sensitive skin. Spencer let his eyes roll back and his head hit the wall when Hotch grasped him through his pants, thrusting his hips into the heated touch. He was whimpering with each breath, Hotch's hand grasping and squeezing his sensitive head through the much-too-thick material of his pants causing his knee's to go weak.
The deserted room was filled with gasps and moans as Spencer and Hotch continued rubbing each other closer and closer to climax. When Hotch began biting along Spencer's neck, he shivered and felt the overpowering need for more. Pushing Hotch back, Spencer shoved him against the wall opposite and tugged down his pants just enough to free his cock, quickly doing the same for himself. Taking a moment to admire Hotch stood before him, exposed and aroused, he eventually moved forward and pressed his hardness against Hotch's. Groaning when Hotch's arms closed around him and pulled him impossibly close, Spencer claimed his mouth in a hard kiss. He was the one nestled between Hotch's legs now and what little skin was bare felt amazing against his own.
Thrusting against the man in earnest, Spencer was dizzy with how good it felt to have Hotch pressed bare against his body so intimately.
Biting down on the soft lip between his, Spencer hummed in delight before licking over the dents left in the flesh. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been this hot, realizing it'd been years since anybody had made him feel this good. Spencer was clutching at Hotch's broad shoulders as their kiss turned messy, broken for gasped breaths and muted moans of pleasure.
The hands pressed against his clothed back clenched until strong fingers were digging painfully into his body as Hotch broke the kiss. With his eyes closed and his jaw slack, Spencer watched as Hotch's orgasm flooded his body. The sight of the usually so controlled face relaxed and glowing with pleasure, the feel of warm come against his skin and the friction against his arousal sparked Spencer's own climax.
The world spun around him and sent stars into his vision as he fought not to cry out. It'd been far too long since he'd been with someone and his orgasm threatened to overwhelm him.
When sated, they remained pressed together, panting into each other's embrace for what must have been a few good minutes before sense invaded Spencer's blissful daze and reminded him they were out in the open. As he stepped away, he suddenly felt like he couldn't breath. Aaron Hotchner pressed against a wall, flushed and sweaty, marked with their combined come. It was so attractive and yet so, so wrong.
As they tried to clean up and tame their dishevelled appearance in silence, reality began to sink in. Spencer was amazed at how, despite all the ease with which he'd dismissed his worries and inhibitions when 'in the moment', the clarity of it all hit him like a truck now. What the hell had he done? Hotch was a married man for god sake.
'He didn't exactly seem unwilling.' His cowardly mind provided, but Spencer knew better than to listen.
Just because Hotch was married didn't mean he couldn't feel attraction to someone else. The problem had come from selfishness; Spencer had sensed that attraction, wanted it, and actively seduced him. He didn't doubt that, as enthusiastic as the man had been, he wouldn't have acted if Spencer hadn't. He was to blame for this. Hotch had just acted out of impulsive desire where as Spencer had made a plan.
As the crushing weight of his guilt bared down on him, Spencer turned to see an expression of dismayed disbelief on Hotch's face; unsurprising since the man had just forsaken his wedding vows for a quick fumble with a colleague. The shame burned at Spencer's cheeks and he needed to be gone.
"I'm sorry." They said in unison, each looking at the other with wide eyes.
Lowering his gaze - unable to see the whirling emotions in Aaron's dark eyes - Spencer licked his lips, tucked his hair behind his ear and wrapped his arms around himself. A defensive gesture he hated but had no control over. He hated the way want and desire made him an entirely different man, because it always passed and left him the same unsure, insecure fool who had no idea what to say or how to get out when he needed too.
Reaching up one hand to rub across his mouth in shock, Hotch looked like he was going to say something but instead closed his eyes, looking a little sick, before simply turning and walking away.
Letting his head hit the wall, Spencer tried to convince himself that Hotch wasn't sick with or angry at him but rather himself. But Spencer had a feeling Hotch was wrong there, the selfish bastard who'd let his desires become more important to him that his boss's family and his happiness was the one who deserved hate.