Kaidan couldn't help but stare at his commander as the man calmly ate. Hero of the blitz…an spacer kid always top of his class. Everything in the man's life was perfect. Every challenge had been faced head on, every time Shepard could do the right thing the man had. It was enough to send anyone staring at the man in awe.
Handsome, charming, able to get his way out of nearly everyone…was there anything he couldn't do?
Shepard paused in his chewing for a second. "Something wrong?"
"No…" Shepard frowned at that.
"…Are you sure?"
"Yes. There's nothing wrong Commander." Shepard frown deepened. The man always had to set things right with his crew members. No matter the cost, how he managed to always succeed despite impossible odds had earned Kaidan's respect and admiration.
"Commander…"
Another glance upwards blue eyes with a sad, haunted look in them. It vanished so quickly Kaidan swore he must've imagined it. "…Why me Commander? Why did you save me instead of Ash?"
A long moment of silence followed yet not once did Shepard look away. "I had to make a decision. You were protecting the bomb and it was our duty to ensure that bomb went off. That facility had to be destroyed."
So it had just been a case of him being at the right place at the right time.
"How do you deal with it? Losing people?"
Shepard was silent for a long moment. "By losing as few as possible." Shepard stood up then. "And by making sure those I do lose aren't forgotten nor their deaths in vain."
"I understand Commander."
"Is that all Lieutenant?"
Kaidan nodded and Shepard turned and walked away but instead of his usual upbeat walk his shoulders sagged slightly.
"No man left behind huh…" a bitter whisper as Shepard's lips curled into a bitter smile.