I'm sorry
(For all the trouble I've caused)
Author's notes: I just wanted to say that I have noticed that Linda carries a notebook everywhere and I wanted to write a one-shot about it, so what happens when Linda can't take life anymore?
Dear Michael,
I want you to know that by the time you read this it will be too late, I will have already left. I will have left the world and all of my problems behind. I'm sorry for leaving and I just want you to know that I love you deeply...maybe deeper than you think. I also want you to know that I will miss you and even though you won't see me I will always be there beside you.
Love
your new guardian angel
Linda x
She folded up the letter, slipped it into an envelope and locked it in her top drawer; she would drop it on Michael's desk later when he wasn't there. This was how she chose to leave; she couldn't face her problems and fears anymore so she chose the 'cowards' way out. Lunch was nearly over so she got up of her seat and started to prepare for next lesson.
"They filmed it at this angle to show her anger and annoyance." Linda said to the class giving them the right answers since nobody would co-operate. The end of day bell rang and everybody got packed up. "Right, you can leave." Linda said instructing the class. "I'll see you on Monday." She felt bad lying to her class but she couldn't face telling them that she won't be back next week. "See you Monday, miss." A girl called Seren shouted walking out of the class. "Yeah, see you Seren." Linda locked the door behind her and broke down into tears. She really didn't want to leave Michael but she couldn't face her problems either and he didn't understand how she felt and he couldn't help. She opened her top drawer and pulled the envelope out. "The time is now." She instructed herself as she opened the door.
She closed the door behind her and looked left, she saw Michael (His back facing her) making his way to the staffroom, she turned right and made her way down the corridor to Michael's office.
She dropped the note on his desk; she couldn't go back now...could she?
Michael had made his way back from seeing Sian in the staffroom and when he pushed down the door handle and noticed her there, "Why is she in my office again?" He thought to himself. "She better not be looking through my laptop again...Does she not listen?"
How could she explain that she just dropped her death letter on his desk, how could she explain that she wasn't going to be on this earth much longer, how could she explain that he wasn't going to see her tomorrow. She walked over to him, put her hand on his arm, looked into his eyes and said "You have a letter on your desk." She then pushed past him and walked back to her class.
He slowly made his way over, not knowing what the letter contained and sat down. He felt anxious and uneasy; when she walked out the door, he could tell her eyes were hiding a big secret and he had to figure out what that secret was. He picked up the envelope and tore it open. He read the letter over and over again, the same words kept on popping up in his mind. "I want you to know that by the time you read this it will be too late"," I'm sorry for leaving"," I love you deeply"," I will always be there beside you"," your new guardian angel" He wondered what she meant by "Your new guardian angel"...Then it hit him, he couldn't let her do that...he had to stop her now but how?
He heard a car boot door shut outside and went to see who it was, it was Linda and she was acting as if nothing had happened. That's what he hated about Linda...she kept everything bottled up inside till it would overspill. She would either shout and scream or cry and cut, he'd rather she shout and scream and blame everything on him, because if she cut it just reminded him that he wasn't there to help her that night, that he wasn't there to cuddle her and tell her everything will be all right. It reminded him of what a terrible 'best friend' he was and he felt awful for it. She noticed him at the window and blew him a kiss and then smiled and made her way into her car. He couldn't let her end it all tonight, he had to be there tonight or he would feel even guiltier. With the letter still in his hand, he ran out of the office and to his car.
He parked up and saw her car in the drive-way. He stepped up and ran to the door, no lights were on downstairs but he could see that the upstairs bathroom light was on. "Shit." He said to himself. She couldn't do this tonight, not when he needed her...not when he needed her the most. He slowly and quietly pushed down the door handle and made his way into the dark house. The dark always terrified him when he was growing up. He was robbed in the street when he was a teenager and ever since he has hated the dark...well that was before Linda came along, on the anniversary of the robbery she came round and cuddled him until he fell asleep. He loved that night and that was one of his favourite memories, the way she smelled of strawberries and raspberries and the way she just held onto him while drying his tears and repeated "Everything will be ok." He loved her for that and this was only one of hundreds of reasons he had to save her.
He could see a light coming from the upstairs bathroom and went up to investigate; he slowly climbed the staircase of the old Victorian house. He was terrified that he would see something that would scare the living daylights out of him. As he got to the top of the stairs he breathed, he was trying to get the terrible thought of Linda crying silently, tears streaming down her face, out of his head. He knew he didn't want to see that happen, he just wanted everything to be OK...but fate hadn't planned his life out that way.
He slowly pushed the door open, water rushed past his feet, into the hall and down the stairs. He didn't care about that the now all he wanted to know if she was ok...and that's when he saw it. The red blood, her blood, covering the walls. He turned to see her lying in the bath, the water still running, her wrists cut and her eyes lifeless. He loved her eyes, as he always said they were a window to people's soul's, but he hated himself that he couldn't see how painful her life was. Her eyes were staring at him, pleading him to take away the pain but she had already done that herself. She was lying in the bath surrounded by her own blood. Michael now hated himself even more, he could have saved her but he was too late.
