Hi this is not Kenziestar this is her 'FRIEND' Ana,in case she hasn't told anyone yet.
This was a day away from being deleted so i'm posting and hoping she doesn't kill me for it.
Read happily. or what ever it is she puts at the end of this.
Disclaimer: Neither of us own the songs or the characters.
Song one- Say You Love Me By Jessie Ware
"What else do you want me to say Maura?" Jane says bringing her fourth beer to her mouth .
"Say you love me to my face. I need it more than your embrace. Just say you want me, that's all it takes. Because my heart's getting torn from your mistakes."
"I don't see what that has to do with anything."
"Cause I don't want to fall in love if you don't want to try. But all that I've been think in of, is maybe that you might."
"You know I love you, what elses is there to say? How about I give you sometime to get your thoughts in order." She says taking another swig of beer .
"Baby it looks as though we're running out of words to say. And love's just floating away. Just say you love me, just for today. And don't give me time cause that's not the same."
"Well what am I supposed to do? What do you want?" Her words are so slurred now that Maura has to strain her ears to understand the words coming out .
"I want to feel burning flame when you say my name the way I used to. I want to feel passion flow into my bones, like blood through my veins, like it used to. I don't want to fall in love, If you don't want me the same way."
"I can't take this right now, I'm going out."
"Won't you stay? Slowly you unfold me. But do you know me at all? Someone told me love controls everything. But only if you know. and loves just floating away." Maura says just as the front closes and she falls to her knees in the middle of the living room. Knowing when Jane comes back to the house she will apologize and hold her as she cries herself to sleep, and for a while everything will be good again they will make each other happy .
Song two- Underneath By Adam Lambert
And when Jane comes home later that night seeing Maura laying on the living room floor she picks her up care's her to their room whispers sweet words to Maura as she stirs in her sleep .
A week later Maura finds Jane sitting in a booth at the dirty, nursing a bottle of vodka .
"Jane you shouldn't drink that. What's wrong with you?" Maura asked as she sits accros from from Jane .
"Strip away the flesh and bone. Look beyond the lies you've known. Everybody talks about a freak. No one wants to dig that deep, let me take you underneath." Jane says taking another sip from her glass before looking across at Maura .
"All I want is to understand why you treat me the way you do."
"Baby better watch your step. Never minds what's on on the left. You're gonna see things you might not want to see. Its still not that easy for me underneath."
"Jane please let me help you." Maura says reaching to move the bottle, receiving a growl from Jane as she move the bottle out of Maura's reach .
"A red river of screams, tears in my eyes," She sniffs, wipes her eyes with the back of her arm before continuing,"stars in my black and blue sky. Underneath under my skin, underneath the depths of my sin. Look at me, now do you see Maur?"
"Jane" She means it to be reassurance, but it comes out barely more than a whisper .
"Welcome to my world of truth. I don't wanna hide any part of me from you anymore. I'm standing here with no apologies. It's such a beautiful release, you knowing the inside of me. Knowing the red river of screams underneath. Tears in my eyes. Knowing the scars in my black and blue sky. And knowing the depths of my sin. Look at me now, do you see underneath?"
"Jane you need to let me help you. You have been drinking entirely to much, and now you're advancing to harder stuff. You are on your way to becoming an alcoholic, and I don't want to see you that way. Please?" Maura asks as she tries to take the bottle from the brunette .
Song three- F****ing Perfect By Pink
"So you made a wrong a wrong turn once or twice. Dug your way out, blood and fire. Bad decisions. That's alright." Maura says as they sit together on the couch that night .
"Welcome to my silly life. Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood."
"Miss 'No, it's all good. It didn't slow you down."
"Mistaken, always second guessing."
"Underestimated, yet look, I'm still around. Please don't you ever feel like you're less than perfect, please if you ever feel like nothing, know you're perfect to me to me." The M.E. says taking hold of the hand closest to her. "You're so mean when you talk about yourself. But you're wrong, change the voices in your head, make them like you instead."
"It's more complicated than that."
"But look how we all make it."
"Filled with so much hatred, such a tired game. It's enough, I've done all I could think of."
"I've chased down all my demons. I've seen you do the same. You're perfect to me." Maura says massaging the palm of Jane's hand .
"The whole worlds scared so I swallowed the fear. The only thing i should be drinking is an ice cold cool in lying and I try but I try to hard."
"And its a wast of time."
"Done looking for the critics because they are everywhere. They don't' like my hair they don't get my jeans."
"My parents will come around eventually. And we exchange ourselves and we do it all the time."
"Why do we do that, why do I do that ? I'm never going to be enough." Jane says the latter more so to herself than to Maura .
"Jane listen to me, I don't care what everyone else l thinks, you are fucking perfect to me."
"Don't curse Maura, it doesn't suit you. But for you I will get some help. But no one is to know."
To everyone else Jane and Maura went away for a friends getaway for a couple of weeks and came back a bit more than friends .
Song four- Ready For Love By India Arie
"I am ready for love. Why are you hiding from me? I'd quickly give my freedom to beheld in your captivity."
"Jane, I want you to be sure this is what you want. That I am what you want."
"I am ready for love. All the joys and the pain. And all the time that it takes, just to stay in your good grace."
"Lately I've been thinking, maybe you're not ready for me and what I want."
"Maybe you think I need to learn maturity. They say watch what you ask for, cause you might receive. But it you ask me tomorrow, I'll say the same thing. I am ready for love. Would you please lend me your ear?"
"I promise I won't complain."
"I just need you to acknowledge I am here. If you give me half the chance, I'll prove this to you. I will be patient, kind, faithful and true. To a woman who as a weird taste in music and a woman who loves nonsense art, and a woman who thinks with her heart. I am ready for love. If you take me in your hands, I will learn what you teach. And do the best that I can,. I am ready for love, here with an offering of my eyes, my voice, my soul my mind. Tell me what is enough to prove to you I am ready for love? Cause I swear I am ready Maur."
"That was a very nice speech Jane. But I leave for Africa in three weeks, I'll be gone for three years."
"Well three weeks is better than nothing."
Two weeks later…
"Jane no, not this again."
"I'm losing my best friend and whatever we are in less than a week, I deserve a drink." Jane says taking another shot of the brandy. "I don't know why I put myself in this position, I'm just going to end up broken hearted in the end and you're going to fall in love with some gorgeous doctor that doesn't have a drinking problem and live happily ever after in Africa taking care of sick people together."
"Jane please don't turn what we had into a mistake-"
"It was a mistake the minute I thought you would actually be happy with an alcoholic like me."
"Jane-"
"Fuck off Maura."
"I know this isn't you Jane. It's just the alcohol."
"What part of fuck off don't you understand."
Song Five- Love In The Dark By Adele
A week later…
"Take your eyes off of me so I can leave." Maura says icily as she places the last of her things in her suitcases .
"Why? It's not like me staring at you is going to make you stay."
"Because I'm too ashamed to do it with you watching me. This is never ending , we have been here before." Maura says looking around the making sure she has everything she will need .
"And we have gotten past it without you going to Africa."
"Because I don't love you enough to go through this anymore!"
"Maura please! How can you say that!?" Jane asks, stepping further into the room .
"Please stay where you are. Don't come any closer, don't try to change my mind. I'm being cruel to be kind."
"We can figure something out. You can come back after three months instead of three years."
"I can't love you in the dark. It feels like we are oceans apart already, there is so much space between us. Maybe we're already defeated." Maura says grabbing her suitcases and heading to the stairs, grateful that Jane doesn't try to block the way."Everything changed me Jane. You have given me something I can't live without. You mustn't underestimate that when you are in doubt. But I don't want to carry on like everything is fine. The longer we ignore it all the more that we will fight."
"Maura please! I stopped once I can stop again! I can do better! Just stay, stay with me!" The brunette cries, legs finally giving out beneath her, all the bravado she once had long gone .
"Please don't fall apart. I can't face your breaking heart, I'm trying to be brave, stop asking me to stay. We're not the only ones, I don't regret a thing, every word I've said, you know I'll always mean. It is the word to me that you were in my life. But I want to live and not just survive. That's why I can't love you in the dark. We're already defeated. Cause everything changed me. And I-I don't think you can save me, or us this time, Jane." Maura says closing the door behind her not once casting a look behind her as she gets in the waiting taxi and heads to the airport, tears running down her face the entire time/\par
"Hey Jane. How you holding up?" Frost ask as Jane comes into the bullpen the day after Maura leaves .
"I'm fine Frost why wouldn't I be? That stuck up heiress is finally out of my hair. I can stop acting like I'm her friend now."
"Jane what's wrong with you? We both know you don't mean that."
"Then don't ask bullshit questions you already know the fucking answer to."
"You're right I'm sorry. How about you, me, and Korsak go to the robber after work."
"No thanks, I trying to cut back on the drinking."
"Okay then don't drink, but that wasn't a suggestion partner."
"Fine but you're buying me a burger and fries and Korsak can buy me a coke."
"Sure, I guess I can spare the two seventy five in my wallet on a coke I'm not ging to drink."
"Anybody know who the ME is?"
"Yeah you know her too."
"I do?"
"You do to. It's Susie, Maura promoted her to ME, Cavanagh didn't see any reason to get someone new in when Susie is perfectly capable of doing the job."
"Well good for Susie."
"Alright I'm calling it a night. Let's head on over to the robber before it gets to packed and somebody takes our booth" Korsak says turning his computer off, Jane and Frost following him, they drive their cars to the robber enjoy a meal and talk about the case.
It goes like this everyday for months until Jane goes to the robbery to wait for Frost and Korsak to join her for lunch on her day off when a red head sits across from her .
"Hi my names Megan Call. What's yours?"
"Jane Rizzoli. What can I do for you?" Jane asks trying to get to the point of why this woman has chosen to sit with Jane when there is plenty of open stools and booths .
"Now I saw you sitting here all alone and thought I'd keep you company until your boyfriend showed up."
"Don't really like men and I happen to be very single." Jane says, catching on to what Megan's intentions are.
"How about I order us some drinks?"
"No thanks for two reasons, one I'm recovering and two my lunch dates are here."
"Well here is my number, give me a call and we can set something up. And just something for you to look forward to." She says standing up, walking over to Jane, placing a kiss on her lips, walking away when Jane moves to deepen the kiss."See you soon Jane Rizzoli."
"And just who was that?" Korsak asks as he and Frost slid in the booth, him sitting across from Jane and Frost sitting next to her .
"That was Megan Call." Jane says taking a napkin and wiping the lipstick off her mouth .
"The Assistant District Attorney Megan Call?"
"Is she a lesbian and have red hair too?"
"Yeah."
"Then I guess that was Assistant District Attorney Megan Call."
"You have got to teach me how you got her. Every lesbian I know has been trying to get with her and she rejected all of them."
"I didn't do anything. I was sitting here waiting for you guys and she came and sat down told me her name I told her mine, she offered to buy me a drink I said no and then you walked in and I told her my lunch dates had arrived she gave me her number, kissed me saying it was something to look forward to and left. See I did nothing."
"If you can get Megan without trying who can you get when you try?"
"I see where you man brain is taking you and the answer is no."
"Oh come on Jane I would be so much fun."
"No Barry."
"Ouch, she first named you."
"Fine, you're going to be tied up with Megan anyway, literally, heard she likes BDSM." Frost says making a whipping sound .
"Really?" She questions looking down at the card on the table .
"Lets order already, I'm starving over here." Korsak says waving the waiter over.
"I'm glad you called Jane, I was thinking maybe I had lost my charm." Megan says sitting down in the booth across from Jane that night, giving her a megawatt smile.
"You have definitely not lost anything ADA Call."Jane says trying hard not to outright stare at the woman's exposed cleavage.
"You found that out huh? You're as good a Detective as they say."
"No, my friend recognized you when you left. He said you were into something I was interested in."
"And what did your friend say."
"He said you were into BDSM, is this true?" Jane says a mischievous smile playing on her lips.
"And if it is true?"
"If it is true, I want you to take me back to your place and make me forget everything outside of you and me." Jane says, her eyes such a dark brown one would think they were black.
"I think I can do that. How about we get dinner to go and eat after. What I am think of is better when not full. And I think I'll get desert," Megan says standing up bending so her breast are in Jane's face as she whispers in her ear, "if you're a good girl I'll let you eat it off my breast since you can't seem to stop looking at them." Kissing Jane's cheek as she goes to the bar to order take out for the two of them.
"Come on in Jane. I won't bite...too hard." Megan says with a sexy smirk as they make it to her apartment .
"If I had known ADA's made enough to live like this I wouldn't be a detective."
"What made you want to be a detective anyway?" Megan asks while pouring herself a glass of wine, and Jane a glass of water, remembering what Jane had told her.
"I'm not sure. It's all I've ever wanted to be since I was a kid. Thanks." Jane says excepting the glass of water as she walks around the spacious living room. Vaguely thinking that the decorations would put Maura's taste to shame as My phone vibrates.
Send my love to your new lover. Treat her better than you did me.M
Le Fin.