Emptiness
His bank account's empty; the little green screen that he is currently peering at tells him that much.
Of course, he does know that it is empty, in fact he came to the mall knowing that it was empty but still hoping that somehow, someway, someone had deposited money into it. Maybe his dad had finally realised that he was in fact a father and he did need to care for his kids someway, and had such put money into his bank account? Maybe, just maybe, one of his relatives had died and seen fit to leave all of their possessions and money to him?
But he knew that despite all his wishes and prayers that was never going to happen, not in a million years. His bank account was currently drained empty from the painful 'surgery' he'd had over the summer, and it would remain so until spring rolled around and rich people needed his services so their pools would be clean- despite the fact that they hardly swam in them. He blew his money on a life choice that would determine that no matter how many chicks he banged, no matter how many times they did it, he would never ever get another girl pregnant. He'd seen the chaos and havoc Quinn's pregnancy had caused first hand, and he never wanted to repeat that one particular mistake of his. He never wanted to get attached to another child of his so much that it physically hurt when it was taken away from him. He wanted a new Noah Puckerman, a new start, and that had been the only way he saw fit to achieve his new life.
He sighs softly as the tiny receipt falls into his hands, his fingers instantly crushing it and placing it into the depths of his jean pocket, where it will remain until it is torn up and destroyed in the wash- becoming millions of tiny tissues-like pieces of papers that turn into dust as soon as you touch them. He rubs his hand softly over his stubbly head, and purses him lips as he strolls through the crowed mall in search of an exit that will take him away from the very place he despises. He can't see why people can just blow all their money on useless purcheses, wouldn't their money be better off in the hands of someone that actually needed it? People don't really need another flat-screen television to go along with the five they already own; they just want it, and by god does he know the power of want. He wanted Quinn Fabray as his own so bad that he couldn't see past his own desires to know what his actions where eventually going to cause. His own father wanted a new life so bad he couldn't see that deserting his own family was going to cause a lot of heartbreak.
He hums quietly as his eyes dart around the mall trying to spot a door through the masses of people.
If Noah Puckerman knew want, then he definitely knew emptiness.
It had been the only thing coursing through him when he watched his baby being held by someone that was not him or Quinn. It had been his own friend during those dark days that accompied his father's departure. It had been the only thing he had experienced when he watched Quinn beam up at Finn, hands on her stomach that in which his baby grew. Oh yes, he knew emptiness.
He walks past the large jewellery store with down-cast eyes because he doesn't want to see the numerous pretty things that he will never be able to afford. These pretty things are the reason for his depression, he longs to have all the money in the world, if only to use it to buy Quinn something. He taps his fingers on the clean glass softly. A nice cross, perhaps, to replace the one her father had bought her some years previous. Maybe a nice emerald ring to represent her birth stone. Anything would suffice, anything would show her that no matter what, she was the object of his desire, she was the only girl who had a place in his heart.
But he shakes his head and steps away from the window, wiping his fingerprints away. He'll never be able to afford anything that would show his feeling truly, and that is life. He will just have to accept the fact that he has no money, and move on. He has before, especially when he eyed off all the nice things kids in his elementary classes brought along with them for Show and Tell. Money isn't everything after all, as his mother often repeats.
But Quinn is.
So he hops into his mother's car that he borrowed because his truck was out of petrol, and races over to the nearest bank. He doesn't pause for a moment as he pushes down on the gas and rams the ATM machine free off the brick wall. After all, this is for Quinn, and even though he's not some hot-shot handsome warrior like Brad Pitt was in that movie Troy that his mom loves, it still means something. A romantic gesture or whatnot, though he's sure she'll take it the wrong way.
And so he ends up in juvie for three days because of his impulsive actions. But he doesn't regret a single bit of it. Especially when Quinn ends up to be the one picking him up when he's released, and even though she slaps him softly, he doesn't regret it.
Because despite everything, Quinn is always going to be the one that makes everything better.
His empty bank account doesn't matter so much when she's with him.
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