i' am in no way a writer, so this might not be all that good but i was over come with brittana feels and i wrote this out. I hope you like.

dear diary, (lord tubbington stop reading this)
i guess this is the only place that i can keep my thoughts, i just…..i don't know how to say out loud everything that i feel, to put it simply. I miss you.
God i miss you more that you can fathom.
I miss running my fingers through your hair, your morning texts saying how much you love me when you couldn't wake up next too me, you and lord t being secret best friends, every time we ate dinner at my house, your pinky would slip around mine, (we always had to be touching) like two pieces of puzzle coming together. I sometimes sit and hook my pinkie around the other one… how sad is that :( i miss the simplest things that made us…us!
I miss making love to you but more so, i miss afterwards…. our naked bodies pressed against each other, legs entwined, your head would lay on my chest…listening to my heart beating so rapidly because it couldn't cope with how much love i have for you. You'd always wanted to be the big spoon to make you seem more badass but just before you let sleep over come you, you'd turn around and let me press up against your back, my arm around your waist, nuzzling your neck and the final " i love you's" before sleep took us.
I haven't hadn't a proper nights sleep since our last time together.
i have to try to keep myself occupied every minute of every day to keep my mind off, of you.
I just… i don't know what hurts more, the fact that i had to push you to follow your dreams in new york ( in the worst way possible) or the fact you actually left, maybe i was hoping you would see through it all and put your arms around my waist, lay your head on my shoulder and too say your never going to go anywhere without me but i know, i know! you are going to be the biggest, shining light in that city.
I guess i feel bad for "being" with Sam as such, i guess we are more like buddies. We've only really kissed a handful of times, nothing compares to your lips (both sets)…and he's funny but i could never love him, let alone have sex with him. I can't picture myself doing that with anyone else….unless its you! but i knew that if i didn't choose him you would stay here, but you deserve the world and hopefully one day soon i can tell you all of this.
I think i should stop here for now, ( plus lord t is totally looking over my shoulder, while i write this) i want graduation to come around so quickly so i can get on the first plane to new york and beg you to forgive me.
I just need your kiss… i need you to tell me you love me still.
i need the other half of me back.
sorry for crying on you journal, you are really nice.
maybe if i send this too you, you'd understand…..