Warning: If you don't like the feels, don't read! It doesn't have a very happy ending.
This is a Jyn/Cassian story based on the song "Kiss It All Better" by He is We. If you don't know this song, you might want to listen to it. But if you don't want spoilers for the story, don't look it up. If you want to prepare yourself, maybe you should. This story takes place a couple years after Rogue One. The stuff in italics is the song. Once again, PLEASE look this up, at least after you've read it. BEAUTIFUL song.
Disclaimer: Rogue One is owned by Lucasfilm. Kiss it all better is owned by He is We.
Cassian was nervous. More nervous than he'd ever been in his life. Underneath his clothes, sweat dripped down his body. He hoped Jyn couldn't feel how clammy his hand was.
"Jyn," he stammered. They were standing on a balcony. They were supposed to be with the rest of the party guests in the ball room, but it had quickly become too stuffy for the two. "Jyn, I- I want to ask you something."
She glanced at him curiously. "Yeah?"
"I... well, I don't know about you but- but I really like you- and well-" he pulled a ring out of his pocket and knelt down on one knee. "Jyn Erso, will you marry me?"
Jon's mouth dropped open. Usually mostly emotionless, tears gathered in her eyes and she clapped her hands over her mouth. "Oh my gosh! YES!" She flung her arms around him and kissed him full on the mouth. Cassian smiled and gripped her tight."I love you."
"I love you too."
"Ow!" Jyn frowned in annoyance at her cut thumb.
"You okay?" Cassian poked his head out of the ship to where Jyn was standing in the hangar. They were getting ready for their mission.
"Yeah, I just cut myself on this sharp bit of metal," Jyn replied, wincing. Cassian smiled and walked over. He took her hand and pressed his lips against her cut. "Better?" he smiled.
"Much," she smiled. "You kissed it all better."
"He sits in his cell
And he lays on his bed
Covers his head
And closes his eyes..."
Cassian didn't see any point in living anymore. Distantly, he realized his knuckled were bleeding. Probably from punching the wall. His throat was hoarse, and faintly remembered screaming into the night. He squeezed his eyes tight. Flashbacks surged behind his lids.
"Come on! We need to get out of here!"
Cassian and Jyn had been sent on an undercover mission- but it had gone wrong. They had been discovered, and now they were running as fast as they could with a pack of stormtroopers chasing them. Cassian ran as fast as he could, with Jyn only a little ways behind him. He fired a few shots behind him, pleased as he saw some stormtroopers fall. Krennic watched from overhead, smirking as he lowed his blaster and fired
And then something happened. And it happened too fast for Cassian to comprehend. All he saw was a glow of red- and then suddenly Jyn had fallen down, blood spurting from a hole in her back.
Suddenly, Cassian could barely see. Black and red crowded his vision. All he knew is that after a few moments, all the stormtroopers were dead, armor melted with a blaster bolt. He stumbled forward and gripped Jyn.
Krennic got one look at Cassian's face and dashed away before he could realize who had shot Jyn. He dropped his gun and left.
"He sees a smoking gun
And the coward, he ran
And in his arms lays the bleeding
love of his life"
"Jyn!" Cassian gasped, clutching her close to him. "Jyn...no no no no no ..."
"Cassian..." she rasped, blood trickling out of her mouth. "I wish I could've... married you... made you happy..."
"You already did," Cassian murmured. "You still can, just hold on..."
Jyn gasped as pain ripped through her body. "Cassian...! You... you kissed me before... Now kiss it all better again... please..."
Cassian didn't wipe away the tears running down his face.
"Please... I'm not ready to die."
"She cries, kiss it all better
I'm not ready to go"
Cassian kissed her tenderly. "I'm sorry," he murmured against her lips.
"S'not you're fault," she mumbled. "You didn't...know..."
"It's not your fault, love
You didn't know
You didn't know"
She sighed her last breath against his lips. Cassian felt the tension leave her body. Jyn Erso died.
Cassian didn't know how long he had sat there. When he reached down to grab her hand, it was freezing. "It'll be fine..." he mumbled. Maybe to Jyn. Maybe to no one.
Cassian looked up finally, his neck aching. Krennic's signature gun was on the ground.
Krennic killed Jyn. He's the one who did this. Cassian didn't try to fight the hot fury that bubbled in his chest. He will PAY.
"Her hands are so cold
and he kisses her face
and says everything
will be alright
He noticed the gun
and his rage grew inside
he said I'll avenge my lover
tonight"
Cassian stood with his forehead leaning against the cool prison wall. He wanted to open his eyes. He wanted the memories to stop.
"YOU KILLED HER!"
Maybe he was insane. Maybe he was crazy. But Cassian didn't hold himself back. He pulled the trigger and watched in satisfaction as Krennic dropped to the ground, dead.
He should've felt better. He should've felt happy. All he felt was the empty ache where Jyn used to be. He didn't realize that he was being grabbed by security officers.
"Should we kill him?"
"Keep him. He's strong, he could be useful for the labor camps."
Cassian wished they would've killed him. Anything would be better than the agony he felt now. He had yet to witness the first day of labor camp, but he planned on letting them whip him until he died.
"Now he sits behind prison bars
25 to life and she's not in his arms
He couldn't bring her back with a bullet to the heart
of the back of the man
who tore his word apart"
"Cassian?"
It was impossible.
He looked up, hardly daring to believe it.
In front of him stood a shimmering version of Jyn, her large brown eyes sad.
"Stop it," he croaked. "I know you're not real."
"He holds onto a memory
All she is, is a memory
Hey hey"
"I'm not," she agreed. "But you can't do this. You can't just give up."
"Why not?" Cassian couldn't stand to look at her, but he couldn't live if he looked away.
"Please. I may not be real. I may be dead. But that doesn't mean that you have to be. You used to be the strongest man I knew. You were always so confident. Everyone looked to you when they were afraid. You're letting yourself go. You're killing yourself. I'm still with you, even if you can't always see me. Look at me in the eyes," she told him. He did, thirstily drinking up her image.
"Promise me something. Promise me if I leave now, you'll try your hardest to live, and escape this prison. The Alliance will come to Wobani for you, just as they did for me all those years ago. Promise me you'll go with them and not give up."
"I... I promise." Cassian murmured.
"Good... Love you..." Jyn started to fade.
"WAIT!" Cassian begged. "Please, stay with me... until I fall asleep."
"He cries, stay with me, 'til I fall asleep
Stay with me
Please stay with me 'til I fall asleep
stay with me..."
Tears rolled down Jyn's ghostly face, but she stayed and watched over Cassian until his eyes drifted to a close. She laid a hand on his back and whispered, "I'll stay with you."
