Bella moaned on top of me. Her tender, plump lips sucked on my upper lip teasingly after she caught her breath. My hand went around her waist and the other one cupped her right cheek. She was so soft and warm.
Her hair and the grass tingled my skin, but it didn't bother me. All I could think of was Bella. Here, close to me. Kissing me. It was incredible. Marvellous.
"Hey, Edward", she said as our kissing spree started to fade away for a moment. She pulled my shirt to get me to sit, but of course couldn't force me, so I obeyed her by her intentions and sat up with her between my legs.
The sun lighted her deep brown hair beautifully and it shined healthily. It also brought out her deep red highlights. I twirled one of those locks around my pale finger. So smooth...
"Yes, dear?" I asked and locked my eyes softly with her chocolate brown ones. A smile tucked bashfully on her face and she looped an arm behind my back as she leaned on my chest. I was a little worried that she could get cold like that, but the sun was shining on our meadow so brightly and probably was warm enough to heat her, so she wouldn't cold against me.
This was one of the rare days it actually shined in Forks. It was welcomed to all of us. We were tired of the gloomy, overcasted weathers.
Suddenly she kissed me again, but with more passion than before. I answered it greedily, but I couldn't get too into the lust and I got to hold myself back so I wouldn't hurt her. I pulled back just before the finale.
That made her huff again. She furrowed delicately her brows at me. Angry.
"Bella", I began, but she stopped me before I could say the same things I do always. She just won't listen to me to understand me the first time.
"I'm tired of this! I love you Edward, but you got to give in already. We can't go on like this forever. Especially when there's no forever. Not for me at least. You got to change me. We will lose everything if you don't. Baby, you must understand me. Don't you want to share your eternity with me? Are you afraid you will get bored of me, but you're too polite to actually tell so to me honestly? Please, just tell me so we can get over it. I don't want you to hold me anything with me", she told me frustration beaming under her light, but seriously demanding tone.
"Please, Bella. Will you ever believe me, when I tell you that I'm not going to take your soul from you. It isn't right. It's against nature and humanity. Don't make me do that. I love you, Bella and I don't want to ever lose you, but if I turn you into a vampire I will lose you already. I will lose your soul."
She shakes her head and gets up and stands her back to me. A breeze flits her hair to my direction and her blood sings to me with it. Her smell is as incredible as she is.
She's right that this cannot continue on like this. It won't hold long. But I don't want to turn her to a vampire either. And I don't want to leave her again. I can't. I promised her, and I don't think I could do that anyway. It's too hard.
What is there to do?
"Change me", Bella's voice sounds low even to Edward's ears. The tone is threatening. What could she do? Leave me? No! She can't!
She could. She should. She will. It will happen when she dies if not before.
"Bella", I sighed feeling tired somehow. I want this discussion to be over already.
"You'll change me", she said sounding even more threatening and demanding. I get concerned. What will she do? What would she ever do to make me change her?
She span around her eyes glaring with fierce. She jumps on me and reflexly I land on my back, hoping it will make her landing softer. Her face is right in front of mine and then she takes something from her bag that's right next to her.
Before I know it, she has cut herself with a sharp razor on her hand. Deep, fresh wound oozing with tempting blood. It flows down her arm which she raises in front of my face. My expression turn from worry to fear. Terror.
I can't help it how all my senses focus on the wound, on the blood. I stare at the cut with the temptation to drink all of it. All of it from her. I feel as my eyes turn completely black from thirst. The pain in my throat increases to unbelievable heights.
"No Bella", I said through gritted teeth. No, I must not drink her blood. No, no, no, no...
"Drink. And change me", she demanded her voice firm. She absolutely crazy. How could she do something like this? Put herself in this type of danger just so I would do as she wants and change her? Doesn't she even care that I don't want to do what every vampire instinct and her are telling me to do? To drink every bit of blood that is meant and made for me. No. She doesn't care it seems.
I put my palm on around her cut and don't care if she struggles to get it from my hand. "I won't change you", I told her. No, I won't. It wouldn't be right. "Get off of me, Edward! Just change me already!" No, she's insane. She hits and punches and kicks at me. They don't hurt me physically, but emotionally yes.
"Please, stop it Bella. You will just hurt yourself", I tried to reason her. She yells and fights even more fiercely. The blood comes through my fingers and I just want to lick it off.
"Fuck!" she suddenly screams in pain and it makes me realize I have broken her arms. I have broken her a bone. Oh my God. How could I? I need to get out of here. So she could be somehow a bit safer. But with a deep cut and a broken arm it wouldn't be safe to leave her here alone. And to send her out on her own. But I can't stay with her like this. I might bite her if I will.
Where's Alice? Can't she see this? I need her!
I release Bella's arm immediately and apologize her. She holds her arm hissing in pain. But as I do that the blood just flows faster. Dammit.
"I'm so sorry, Bella. I need to get help, just stay here and try to suppress the blood from flowing", I told her and get up. She does the opposite. And she quickly puts her blood covered hand on my mouth and I can't help it anymore. It's on my tongue. It's everywhere.
I fall down on my knees as if I were weak. And I am, against her blood. I lick and then I shift to the cut. I close my eyes and hum in pleasure. It's better there. And I drink.
This is incredible. So much better.
I drink. And I grip. She's so soft. So smooth. So warm.
But soon she becomes cold. And I hear dull whimpering. I began to come to my senses.
No.
This can't be real. No. No. No. No... This is not right. This mustn't be real. It can't be. No...
She lays limply in my arms. Most her fragile frame crushed from my hands. She's completely cold and still. There's no blood in her veins, her heart won't beat. Her eyes don't blink. There's no life in those brown eyes.
She is dead.
No...