Disclaimer: I know nothing related to Once Upon a Time or ABC. If I did, well, season 3 would have gone in a very different direction.
"Drop it, Emma."
"It's not a big deal. Seriously, I'm pretty darn proud of myself right now that I made you-"
Regina snapped her fingers, much like an annoyed school teacher on the verge of losing complete control of her class, and squared off her shoulders before continuing the march down Main Street. If only she could get to Granny's Diner and ply the sheriff with piping hot fries, then her horrific ordeal could be dealt with in an orderly fashion. "I said, drop it. There's nothing more to discuss."
"But we need to talk about it, Regina. Otherwise it's just going to be this awkward thing between us, and believe me when I say that people will have questions about it." The sheriff shuffled from foot to foot, nearly hopping in her excitement to talk about the thing. There wasn't often a time in Storybrooke when things of such a nature did not promise impending doom, so excuse her if she wanted to talk about the thing in great detail.
"There will not be questions if we simply ignore it altogether, dear."
Emma nodded slowly. Though some of the townspeople were questionable, mostly because of their continued fear of alighting the Evil Queen's rage once more, she was pretty sure that the majority would notice their little problem. And there would be questions, so many questions, about its origin, and frankly Emma just wanted to be on the same page as her lover when it came to answering those questions. "I think they're going to notice, babe. No offense but this isn't something you're going to be able to press conference your way out of."
With remarkable sensitivity, Emma laid her hand on the former queen's wrist and turned her until she faced the thing, letting her take as long as she needed to come to the conclusion that it could not, and would not, be hidden away for very long. "We're going to have to talk about it, particularly how you want to address its-"
"Baby Unicorn!"
Well, there went her brilliant plan to talk about the thing before any of the townspeople could notice it trotting behind them. Emma glared at the unicorn, perturbed that she hadn't found a way to lock it within the confines of the mayoral mansion, but the thing merely wriggled against her mother's tight embrace and grunted happily.
"It's so cute, Emma. Where did it come from? Are there more? Have the unicorns made it through a portal somewhere? Oh, he is just so fuzzy."
"Snow-"
Emma clucked wildly, heading off Regina's explanation. "There aren't more and it didn't come through a portal, exactly."
Snow glanced up, adoration clear in her eyes. She gave the unicorn a few more light strokes against its muzzle, admiring the light grey fuzzy coat of the animal. "But it's a unicorn, Emma. Do you understand how special it must be to here? If there isn't an open portal somewhere, then there must have been a magical event of great magnitude to conjure its existence."
Regina tilted her head to the side, tight smile loosening with every word that came from her former step-daughter's mouth. Snow might be one half of the two idiots, but the girl did understand the laws governing magical creatures and their existence. Truth be told, unicorns did not belong in Storybrooke, Maine, no matter how magic friendly the town had become after the curse was broken. "It most certainly was, Snow," she revealed in a knowing tone.
"Thought we weren't talking about the thing," the sheriff grumbled. Her partner had been very clear about not wanting to discuss the thing, how it came to be, or how they would explain its existence, then Snow showed up and suddenly the thing was a topic of conversation. "I thought we were just going to ignore it."
"Well, dear, your mother has seen it and will no doubt inform the rest of the town of its existence, so I see very little reason to not discuss it now. There is a unicorn in Storybrooke and your mother has every right to know why it's here."
Emma disagreed. There was no reason to discuss the unicorn's existence in front of her mother; it was personal. Her unicorn; well, Regina's unicorn if she were being honest, but she'd been a part of its creation. The look in Regina's eyes, though, that was enough to reconsider letting the topic drop indefinitely. "Really? You want to tell my mother that the unicorn is the product of mind-blowing sex? Literally, mind-blowing. You lost consciousness, snapped your fingers, and boom! Unicorn."
The unicorn whinnied.
Snow dropped her hand from its soft muzzle and shuffled several feet away. Baby unicorn or not, there were some things a mother did not need to hear about her daughter's love life.
"Well, my dear, I do believe we've managed to scandalize Snow White. Perhaps it's time to go find Charming and inform him of the existence of our unicorn."