You Said You Love Me I Know That's A Lie

by Lauraa93

Alice/Bella pairing, set in New Moon when the Cullens leave. Bella doesn't move out of her room until she goes to see Jacob and he introduces her to weed. Bella's in an accident, but who comes running to her rescue? Drugs & mature language.

1. Chapter 1

You Said You Love Me; I Know Now That's A Lie

A/N: One shot, Set in New Moon when The Cullens left Bella. Alice/Bella pairing. Please read & review! :)

BPOV

*email*
To: Ali_bear
From: Bella_bear
Subject: Numb

It's been 14 days, 16 hours and 27 seconds since your family left. Since you left. I feel numb Alice. I've tried writing to you but the emails aren't going through. You've probably stopped everything and changed your names. You've all probably already forgotten about me, but I'll never forget about you or your family.
I feel so numb Alice. Ever since you left, I can't feel anything.
I need you, I miss you, I love you.
Yours,
Bella
Xxx

Sending Failure appeared on the screen yet again. I can't believe she wouldn't let me have a way of contact with her at all. "It'll be as if I never existed" her words played and played in my head. It was true though, they left no trace of their existence. No photo's, addresses, numbers, anything.

I went and curled up in bed, when I slept (if I slept) it was my most 'normal' time. No pain, no feelings, no thinking. I shut my eyes and waited for the tiredness to take over me.

I'm running through the forest, trying my best not to fall over. I can see a young woman running, I chase after her. "Hey! Wait up! What's wrong!" she turns around at the sound of my voice. "Alice" my breath hitches and suddenly she has disappeared. "Alice!" I call out, I start running as fast as my body can allow me. I need to catch up to her. Where is she going? "Alice! ALICE! Wait! Please!" I shout and plead into the dark night. Tears run down my face. No! She can't get away! Not again. "ALICE!"

"Bella! Bells wake up." my eyes open and my heart hurts as I realise it's Charlie who is in my view. The tears are still flowing from my eyes. "Bells, this isn't healthy for you" Charlie has been waking me up for the past two weeks from nightmares. He saw first hand how much them leaving me had hurt. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into a hug, which was unusual for Charlie. "Bella, I think it's time you went back to live with your Mum and Phil for a bit. Maybe a change of scenery will help with these nightmares." I knew that no matter where I went, I would still suffer as much as I am now. Nothing can fill the empty hole that is now permanently inside me.
"No Dad, I'm feeling a bit better. Honestly, there's no need for me to move." but in all honesty, I wasn't getting any better, I was trying to hang on to every piece of them that was left. Charlie pulled me a questioning look.
"Bella, you haven't moved out of this room in two weeks, I haven't seen you eat anything really, you're not seeing any of your friends and you're not even going to school" I winced at the thought of school. Alice sat next to me in every lesson and then there was their table in the canteen.
"I'm going back to school on Monday and I was going to give Jacob a call and see what his plans for tomorrow was." Charlie wasn't really buying the school thing, but I got his full attention when I mentioned Jacob.
"I think that seeing Jacob would be a good idea darling. You two used to hang out all the time." I nodded at him.
"I promise I'll call him first thing. Just please, let me stay here with you" I could see the pain of the decision in Charlie's face.
"Alright Bells, as long as you get yourself sorted. I just want what is best for you, you know that right?" I nodded at Charlie. He kissed my forehead.
"Try to get a good nights sleep, I love you Bells"
"love you too Dad"

*So what we get drunk, so what we smoke weed, we're just having fun, we don't care who sees, so what we go out, that's how it's supposed to be, living young and wild and free" (8)
Urgh! I turned my alarm off and rolled over. Wait, I turned my alarm off, which means that I slept. My hands darted to my face. Dry. I actually slept, no more tears or nightmares.

I jumped in the shower, skipping breakfast and just making a cup of tea. I went to the phone and dialled Jacobs number.
"Hello"
"Hey Billy, it's, um, it's Bella Swan"
"oh hey Bella! How're you?"
"Not too bad thanks Billy, I was just wondering if Jacob's about at all?"
Billy put Jacob on the phone without any hesitation. He and Charlie must have been talking.
"Hey Bella! Where you been at? I missed you."
"I missed you too Jacob. Hey, erm I know it's short notice and everything, but are you busy today?" I hoped for him to say no. I needed to distract my mind today.
"Not really no, just fixing a few things in my garage. You coming round?"
"Yeah if I won't be in your way?"
"Don't be stupid Bells. Come over whenever you're ready."

I set off to Jacobs and noticed the big garage door was open. I turned off the engine of my Chevvy truck and walked over. It seemed to have been so long since the last time I was out.
"Hey Jake." he turned around within the second, throwing his wrench on the floor and run over to me and swept me up in a huge bear hug.
"Bella! I missed you! You stopped eating?! You've got so thin" I turned my head away from him, embarrassed.
"Come on anyways, you can check my new project out." we went into the garage and I noticed two motorbikes. One was a crosser and one was a superbike.
"I've nearly finished fixing them up."
"Can I help? You could teach me, if you've got time that is." I don't know where the sudden outburst had come from. I knew nothing about bikes, other than that they have a throttle, engine, clutch and brakes.
"Sure, come on, you can help me with this." Jacob taught me how to change a wheel on the crosser, and the basics. I glanced at my phone and it was 6:30 pm
"Shit, Jake I'm really sorry but I'm gonna have to go, Charlie will be back from work soon and I haven't made him anything for his tea."
"Yeah it's okay Bells, just don't be a stranger yeah" I wrapped my arms around him.
"I won't be. I promise"

As soon as I got home I fired up my Mac laptop and checked my emails. As always, my heart sank when I realised that I hadn't recieved any from Alice or her family.

To: Ali_bear
From: Bella_bear
Subject: Today was a good day...

Hey Ali,
Today was a good day today. Last night I only had one nightmare. As always, Charlie had to wake me up. You was running away from me and I couldn't catch up. No matter how fast I ran or how loud I shouted, you just disappeared. Charlie tried to get me to move. He wants me to go live with my Mum and Phil, to try and forget about you, but the truth is, you was the only love in my life and there will only ever be you in my life.
To stop him from getting me to move I told him that I was thinking about going and seeing Jacob. It worked. I had a good day today, Jacob distracted me from everything going around in my mind. He is teaching me how to fix and do up motorbikes. I'm off to buy one tomorrow for us to fix up, then I'm gonna learn how to ride and gain a bit more freedom with the help of a motorcycle.
I miss you terribly. You're always in my heart. I love you Ali.
Bella
Xxx

I closed my emails off knowing that they wouldn't send and quickly went onto eBay searching for a cheap motorbike that needed doing up. Luckily I found one and it was available for pick up the next day. I placed my bid and waited.

"Bells! I'm home!" SHIT! I had got so caught up in the bidding that I'd totally forgotten about Charlie's tea. "Dad I'm so sorry, I got so caught up on the laptop that I forgot to make you tea."
"It's okay Bells, we'll eat out if you like?" I couldn't really stomach any food but I knew that Charlie wouldn't let it drop if I didn't eat anything. I agreed and we went to eat at the diner.

APOV

"Edward just FUCK OFF! Keep the fuck out of my mind and leave me alone! I'll do what the fuck I want to do! I want to go check up on Bella then I will!"

"Alice, daughter, calm down please."

"No! Have you heard what he's saying to me Carlisle! He is trying to tell me what I can and can't do! I'm struggling to see Bella's future! I need to know that she is okay! Please" why wouldn't anyone listen to me! Been away from Bella was driving me insane. I hated myself so much for leaving her, for saying what I said to her. It was the only way that she would let me leave.

"Alice, I'm not saying to not go see her ever, just please, give it another week or so. Please Alice, for me" UGH!
"Fine! One more week then I am going! Whether I loose you all as a family or not. I love her Carlisle and I can't let her suffer because of what we are. I would rather die a thousand deaths than just leave her like that again, without a full honest explanation and knowing that I was against it and that it was because of that bastard there" I hissed and glared at Edward. He knew exactly what he was doing that day. The bastard couldn't handle the fact that I was planning on telling Bella exactly how I felt about her, how much I was in love with her and he had to go and kill off a few humans! I hated that bastard.

BPOV

It was 6:30am when I woke up. The sun trying to shine through the thick layer of cloud that was permanently hovered over Forks. I changed my clothes and set off to pick the motorbike up.
"It needs some serious work on it before it'll be able to run properly. Are you sure you're okay with this?"

"Yeah my best friend is a mechanic and he's teaching me how to re-build bikes. Are you sure that you don't want any money for it?" the guy had changed his mind once I reached his house. He was only asking for $60 for the bike to begin with, but he ended up giving me it for free.
"Nope, she's all yours for free. I hope you get her running okay. Be safe."
"I will, thank you."

I drove off to Jakes with the bike covered on the bike of my truck.
"Hey Bells! Bright and early!" Jake joked
"Hey, I have a surprise for you, well it's for us, to do together."
I took him over to my truck. "You ready?" I asked him and he nodded.
I pulled back the cover and his face lit up.
"Challenge accepted!" yes!
"I have a surprise for you too Bells! Today is going to be your first riding lesson. Hope you're ready." I nodded. Holy shit.
We put the two bikes on the back of my truck and headed out to the woods on the reservation.
"Right hand is throttle and front brake, left hand is clutch, bottom left is gears and bottom right is back brake."
"You already told me this Jake" we laughed
"Right, start her up and easy on the clutch yeah" I nodded and started the engine, revving the throttle a little to find my bite with the clutch. It felt like such a rush already. I kicked it into first gear and set off.

Me and Jake rode around for a little bit. I was quite the natural at riding motorbikes apparently. Alice would be screwing at me so much right now if she knew what I was doing. *But she doesn't know what you're doing because she doesn't care about you* my subconscious snarled at me.
We made our way back to Jakes house. He pulled out a small sandwich bag of pre rolled cigarettes.
"Since when did you smoke?" I questioned him.
"Oh, I don't smoke cigs Bella, these are joints, weed, it helps to relax me. You should try it you know, with everything thats been going on a lately" Should I try it? It's illegal and bad for you, but so many people do it and they're always happy and so care free. What harm can it do?
Jake sparked one of the joints up and had a few burns then passed it to me. I nervously placed my lips around the end and took a small suck. I coughed instantly at the burning sensation in my chest.
"Take it easy Bella."
"That burnt like hell!" Jake handed me a bottle of water to calm my chest.
"It'll burn for the first few burns you take, then it gets easier." he carried on smoking the joint. His eyes getting redder every minute, his smile creeping up on his lips. "Do you want some more?"
I nodded. This time I was ready for the burning sensation. I took some more of the joint then passed it back to Jake to finish. The feeling was unreal. All of my body relaxed, my mind was at ease and for the first time in nearly 3 weeks I actually had a smile on my face. I could get used to this feeling.
"How you feeling Bella?"
"Amazing. This is the best that I've felt in what seems like forever. Thank you Jake." he nodded at me.
"You ready for another?" I laughed at him, then everything seemed funny. I was laughing hysterically at photos Jake was showing me on his phone. My stomach grumbled and sounded like a storm was about to come.
"You got munchies Bella?" I looked straight at him at the thought of food. It sounded so appealing.
"How about a full English breakfast? That should satisfy your munchies" Jake laughed and I nodded.

"That was delicious Jake, thank you" I had actually finished my plate off completely.
"You're welcome. Here, take a few of these with you. I'll see you tomorrow?"
"Thanks Jake, and yeah, I'll be over at around 12"

As soon as I arrived home I went upstairs and stashed the joints that Jake had give me. I couldn't wait to have that feeling again. I checked the phone when I went back downstairs and there was a voicemail.
"Hey Bells it's your old man. I'm having to work late tonight, I'll be back at around 11:30 ish. Sorry hun, hope you're okay. Love you"

I had an idea with my new found freedom for tonight. I ran upstairs and got a joint and my car keys. After a fifteen minute car ride I finally reached my destination. Everything was the same. The big house, all the furniture still inside. I opened the door, they didn't even lock it when they left. All the memories came flooding back to me. The piano in the exact same spot, covered with a thin layer of dust. I sat down at the bench and ran my fingers across the keys. Alice had played and dedicated Bon Jovi - Always to me and it was absolutely beautiful. She was so talented.

I felt the familiar sting in my eyes and the lump in my throat. Time to spark up. I took the joint out of my pocket and lit it, revelling in the first few drags of it knowing what was going to come next. I started to feel slightly high and started walking around the Cullen's old house. Making my way up the stairs, bypassing all of the rooms, knowing exactly where I wanted to be. I opened the door and looked into the room, Alice's room. The bright cream walls decorated with Alice's rough design drawings, the big double bed that she had bought for me when I slept over, the White studded corner sofa. Everything was still here. I walked over to the double doors attached to her wall, she had still left some of her clothes. I took out a jumper that was hung up and layer on the bed.

I could smell her essence every where, especially on the jumper. I re-lit the joint and carried on smoking it, clutching to Alice's jumper curled up on her bed. Slowly the weed had taken it's full effect on me and I was in a deep sleep. Peace at last.

*dream*

It's a sunny day, me and Alice have gone to the top of the meadow that we share, out of all danger of a human seeing Alice for what she is, a vampire. The grass is green, the flowers are radiant and Alice is skipping along the meadow. Our fingers intertwined as we go to find our favourite spot. Both of us relishing in each others smiles and happiness, our lips touching each others, the electricity and current running through both of our bodies.

*end dream*

I was woke up by my phone ringing. I looked at the caller I.D; Dad. Shit!
"Hey Dad"
"Bella, where the hell are you?! It's 1 am, your truck isn't here either." he sounded pissed off.
"Sorry Dad, I decided to call to Angela's and I ended up falling asleep. Do you want me to come home?" I heard Charlie take a sigh of relief.
"No, no it's okay Bells, stay out. Just let me know where you are next time yeah."
"Okay Dad, I'm sorry. Good night. Love you"
"Love you too Bells"

Oh, now I have a task on my hands. I quickly text Angela hoping that she will either still be up or she will get my message in time.

To: Angela
From: Bella

Hey Ang is Bells, could you do me a really huge favour please and say that I slept at yours tonight if anyone asks please? I owe you big time if you say yes.
- B x

I put my phone down and waited for a reply. After five minutes there still wasn't one. I went back to how I started and re-lit the joint and cuddled Alice's jumper. 10 minutes later my phone began to vibrate.

From: Angela

Hey Bells, yeah sure I will. Hope that you're okay. Missed you girl! Hope to see you at school on Monday.
- A xx

I smiled and thought that I'd reply in the morning. Angela was the only one barring the Cullens who actually accepted me for me and was my true friend. Then again, if the Cullen's really cared about me then they wouldn't have left me the way that they did. I wasn't stoned enough for this. I finished the joint off and drifted back to sleep.

The morning light was shining through the window. Ugh god. I looked at my phone to see what time it was. 11:45am FUCK! How did I sleep in this late! I grabbed my car keys and Alice's jumper and got in my truck. I set off to get to Jacobs in time, quickly calling my Dad.
"Hey Dad, I'm just heading over to Jakes, I'll see you tonight for tea? Steak and chips good for you?" I thought I'd go all out and try to get back in his good books
"Sounds good Bells. I'll see you tonight. Love you"
"love you too Dad"

I hung up and started to dial Jakes number.
"Hey Jake it's Bella, I'm just on my way to yours now, I shouldn't be too.. ARGHHH!"

"Bella.. Bells!"

Everything went black, I tried to open my eyes but I couldn't. I could smell smoke, but I couldn't move. This was it. I blanked out completely for what seemed like a minute. In the darkness there was a little dot of light, I struggled to see it, trying to focus my eyes.
"Bella..." wait, what.?
"Bella, my baby Bells, please.." was it an Angel? It sure sounded like one. I tried to listen harder. "Bella I'm so sorry, please, come back to me, I love you, I love you so much and now it's too late, I should have never had left you." Alice? That was Alice! I walked around the darkness trying to go to where the voice was coming from.
I tried to shout, but my voice wasn't working. "Bella, please come back to me."
"Alice.." I coughed, my throat was as dry as the Arabian dessert. "Ali, I love you" the blackness surrounded me again and swallowed me up.

APOV

"Ali, I love you" my Bella had managed to say. Beeping monitors echoed in the side ward that we was in. Bella wasn't responsive no more.
"NO BELLA! Come back to me! PLEASE!"
A pair of arms picked me up from my waist and moved me out of the way. Doctors surrounded Bella's bed and started working on her body. I was in utter shock. Was Bella dead? Would she come back from this?

*Cough* the heart monitor started again.
"Miss Cullen, Bella will be okay now. She's responsive and her heart seems to be beating normal again. She needs to rest."
I nodded at the doctor. "How long will she be in? I hope the other driver is going to be arrested for this." I spat the words at him. The bastard that crashed into Bella needed to be punished.
"They were both in the wrong Miss Cullen. Bella was making a phone call when the crash happened and the other driver was speeding. Bella will be waking up soon, I'm sure she'll appreciate it if you're there when she wakes up." I nodded at the Doctor and went and sat at Bella's bedside.

BPOV

I can hear small sobs. Painful sobs. Who was crying? What was happening? I opened my eyes. Jesus Christ it was bright where ever I am. I felt someone's hand on top of mine, I stretched my finger out to stroke the hand. It was cold. The texture of the skin, I know exactly who's hand it was.
"Alice..."

"Bella. Bella you're alive!" she lifted my hand up placed her lips on the back. The electric current still ran throughout my body, the heart monitors giving it away as my heart started beating faster.
"I'm so glad you're alive.." she breathed a sigh of relief.
"Alice, w..why are you here? Why now?" I could see the hurt on her face by my question. My body felt like it had been threw 6 rounds with Mike Tyson, but I needed to know why she came back.
"Bella, I never wanted to leave in the first place." She glanced around the room checking that all of the doctors and staff had gone. "Bells, I'm just so glad that you're safe. I got to you in time, sort of. This could have ended a lot worse but I managed to help save you." I looked at her, utterly bewildered. Alice had saved me?
"How?" she looked at me dead in the eyes, neither of us breaking the contact. The tension was building up between us both but neither of us was backing down.
"I had a vision of you Bella. When I left, I could still see you clearly for around two weeks, then that was it, I couldn't see anything. It killed me not being able to see you in my visions, the future would change so often, then this morning I had a vision that I never ever want to experience in my existence again. Especially when it's concerning you Bella." I nodded at her, eagerly ready to listen to more.
"I saw you, you was on the phone making a call, you wasn't concentrating on where you was going, there was another car coming round except this car needed to hit you at the right angle in order for you to survive. As soon as I saw the vision I ran all the way back, just like I've been dying to do for the past month. I came back to protect you."

She came back to protect me? She ruined me when she left.
"How can you say you came back to protect me Alice? It was YOU that left me, remember. You killed me that day. If it wasn't for Jake then I would have been half way across the country by now! And I would've been dead a long time ago." Alice winced at my words.

"Excuse me, Bella, could we have a talk please?" the doctor had walked into my room. Alice got up to leave.

"Alice you can stay. We're not finished yet. What's the matter doc?" he looked between me and Alice.
"We found traces of marijuana in your bloods." Alice's mouth dropped and she starred at me.
"What!" she shrieked out. "That's what you've been doing since I left! Sat getting high! You was high whilst you were driving, how could you be so stupid and reckless Bella!"
Everything inside me wanted to curl up and crawl under a rock, but I had to front this.
"What do you give a shit as to what I've been doing?! You fucking left me remember. You have no right to say anything to me about what I did whilst you was gone! So I started smoking weed. It was the only thing that allowed me to keep my food down and to sleep on a night. So don't you fucking dare start with me when you have no idea what I've been going through."

"I'll leave you ladies to it, however if this gets more heated then I will have to ask you leave Miss Cullen."

Shit, I totally forgot that the doctor was still in the room. I nodded towards him and noticed Alice glaring at me. The hurt was evident in her eyes.

"Bella, I never, ever intended for you to go through what you have. I thought that you would get over my family. Get over me" her voice was a whisper at the end.

"Alice I'd never be able to get over you. Ever. From the moment we met, you have been the centre of my world. But we can't just go back to how we used to be. You hurt me Alice, you hurt me a lot when you left. When you told me that you didn't want me no more, that I was a mistake. It hurt."

"It hurt me, that day, watching you believe my lies so much. Watching you process every word that I said. Believing every word that I said. Bella, you are the best thing that's ever happened to me. I've waited so long for you. But I ruined the one good thing in my life. I should have stood up to my family. I should have fought for what I believed in."

I couldn't lose Alice twice.

"Ali..." her head snapped up at me. I held my hand out to here. I needed her to be near me, I needed to touch her, to feel her. She took my hand and I guided her down onto the bed next to me. Her head facing downwards, her thumb and forefinger twiddling a piece of fabric. I was it was twiddling something else. "Hey..." I placed my index finger under her chin and lifted her head up to face me. Her eyes so full of sorrow, hurt, pain and love at the same time. I cupped her cheek with my hand. Our eyes never broke contact. Both of our faces inching closer and closer. Our lips met and the electricity rushed throughout my body. God how much I had missed this feeling. Our rhythm increasing and the urgency for us both increasing. "I missed you Ali. Please, don't ever leave me again. I couldn't bare it. Please." I begged her. She broke away from our kiss and held my face in her hands.

"Isabella Marie Swan, I promise to you now, I will never, ever willingly leave your side ever again. You are my whole life, without you, I wouldn't exist. I love you so much. I've missed you so much." her lips replace themselves back on mine and we drift into an oblivion.

"You said you love me..." tears flowing freely from my eyes.
"I always have loved you Bella. I always will love you."

-

A/N Hey guys! Please review my little one shot here and let me know what you thought. :) Negative feedback is welcome too. Hope you all enjoyed it anyways =)