Happy Memorial Day - A salute to the men and women who have fought, and died, and are currently, in service of their country.

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Set sometime in the future, no major spoilers.

We never discussed this, because I thought it went without saying but when I catch Red John, I'm gonna cut him open and watch him die slowly, like he did with my wife and child.

When we catch Red John, we are going to take him into custody, and he's gonna be tried in a court of law.

Not if I'm still breathing

If you try and do violence to him I will try and stop you. If you succeed in doing violence to him, I will arrest you.

I understand.

-The Mentalist, Season 1 Episode 9

AN EYE FOR AN EYE MAKES THE WHOLE WORLD BLIND

She manages to lock the thin metal around his wrists, but she finds she can't read him his rights.

"You have the right," her throat closes up, she feels the tears in her eyes but refuses to let them fall. "You have the right," she begins again, and her voice is scratchy and rough. She makes a strangled gasp, and begins yet again, "You have…"

"It's okay, Lisbon," he whispers softly. "I know."

I have to do this, she tells herself, he knew what would happen and he's willing to make that sacrifice. "You have the right," her words collapse into a fit a tears and she angrily shoves him to the ground. Cuffed, he has no balance and stumbles, letting his knees take all the impact.

"Damn it Jane! Why the hell did you do that! Why did you do that?" she is shouting at the top of her lungs, using the only few minutes they have left alone to fight one more fight, "He would have gone to jail. He would have been caught and tried and given the death penalty. He would have paid for what he did."

"That's not good enough. He would have made appeals, and gotten locked up in a cozy little cell and given a last meal like an ordinary criminal."

"But he would have been dead. He would have been dead and you'd still be free." The tears are streaming freely down her face now, and she is beyond hysterical. She is fuming and upset and just a bit shocked and guilty. She should have known that despite her best efforts he would have found out anyway. She should have gotten here just a millisecond sooner. He still would have done it, she knows this, but she can't help but think that she could have stalled him for long enough that the whole force would have come in, preventing his plans. Now it's too late.

"I'm not sorry, Lisbon. I'm not." He is so calm and collected. Maybe in shock, but she isn't sure. His peace is that of a man who has finally finished his goals. The peace of one about to die – but he's too young for that, right?

"I'm perfectly willing to spend the rest of my life in jail if I have to."

"You idiot!" she screams, shocked that he doesn't get it. He has managed to spin himself around so that he is facing her, still on the ground. "Don't you understand? It's not just you whose life you ruined. What about me? You're all fine and 'I'm going to rot in jail, I don't care' but what about me? Don't you ever think of anyone besides yourself?"

He pauses, looking up at her, confused, "But you shouldn't be fired for what I did. I didn't ruin your career, did I?"

"No!" she screams, shaking him, "You ruined my life!" she collapses down to his level, sobbing into his shoulder. His arms are behind his back so he can't hug back, but he makes every effort.

"I don't understand, Lisbon," he tells her simply. He can't fathom how his actions have affected her. He's the one going to jail, Red John is the one who is dead, so how does Agent Theresa Lisbon fit into the equation?

"I'll never see you again," she manages, still struggling to control her tears. "You'll be gone, and I'll have to be a witness and lock you up, and then you'll get sent to some jail way out in nowhere, and I'll never see you. You'll never…" you'll never play mind tricks on me and the team. I figured out that one with the shapes, you know. You made your fingers into a triangle and a circle, and that's what my brain automatically thought of. And you'll never tell Van Pelt that she has to be stronger, act tougher. You'll never sleep on the couch. Or see through me when I tell you I'm going to my brother's house. You'll never bother me, or tell me that the only man we have in custody is completely innocent. You'll never gamble all your money away, or get that faraway look in your eyes whenever you see a kid or a family. I'll never get to ask you how you feel about me. I'll never know if it would ever work out.

"Oh…" he seems shocked at this revelation. He knew she cared for him – knew she was attracted to him, even, but that was a far distance from love. "Lisbon…I…"

"Police!" comes the shout from outside, the doors smashed open and at least fifty men all dressed to kill come storming in.

"Clear! Man down!" one officer checks the man's pulse and shakes his head,

"Dead!" he shouts to the room.

"Are you hurt?" the leader asks the two on the floor. Lisbon is standing now, sniffing back tears and wiping furiously at her eyes.

"No, we're fine. Uhm…this man…Patrick Jane," she gestures at him, struggling to control her voice just long enough to tell them what they need to know, "…he, uhh," she swallows, forcing down the lump in her throat. Her mind won't work fast enough, and she swipes at her eyes again, "He killed him. He killed Red John." There. She said it. There was no going back now, no lying and telling them it had been self defense. Those four words had destroyed the life she had known for six years. The life she had been content living.

I did the right thing. I did the right thing.

"But, in, self defense, right?" asks the officer, confused.

"No," she shakes her head and stumbles back from the man she once considered her closest friend, "no."

Rigsby, Van Pelt and Cho are all standing at the door, and as she walks past them she can't meet their eyes. She knows what she will see – pity, compassion, and probably a bit of hatred. She knows what they're thinking: Couldn't she have lied to protect him? She'd shielded him so many times; couldn't she do it once more? But this is nothing compared to anything he's ever done before.

She keeps walking, past the parking lot, past the cars, past the swarming reporters.

I did the right thing. I did the right thing.

She was all about justice. That was why she had become a CBI Agent in the first place. Justice. And just as the victims deserve justice, so Red John deserves it. Not much, not really. Jane will probably get a sympathetic jury who pities the man who has lost so much. But there is no denying it. He did it. The jury will see that, even as they will be forced to declare him guilty.

And even if he gets off, and somehow manages to get his job back – each event even more unlikely than the last – she will never be able to look at him quite the same way. Just as she had when he had told her of his plans to kill Red John, her view of him will change. A large dose of fear will be added whenever his name comes to mind.

Fear and Love – what would he make of that, she wonders. Could a relationship ever work if one half spends half her time fearing and hating the other? Well, now she'll never know.

JUSTICE IS BLIND

The truth is rarely pure and never simple

- Oscar Wilde

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