Another short fic to get over the fact that Cas kissed Meg and not Dean ;)
(I altered the episode after the kiss. Freedom of the author.) Hope you like it.
Have fun!
Rated M (smut and strong language!)
Dean/Cas
.:Come Undone:.
Why does he kiss Meg? I stand here with my mouth wide open watching Cas as he presses Meg against the wall in a rush, kissing her as if there was no tomorrow, devouring the demon girl who seems just as puzzled as me. While I watch I realize a lot of feelings boiling under my skin, most of them surfacing now, some making me want to rip those two in front of me apart and ask what the fuckin' hell is going on. Sadness. Because maybe it's too late, not me. Rage. Because I can't stand to see this happen right in front of my eyes. Jealousy. Because he kisses Meg, not me. Hate. Because she exists. I want to know what his lips feel like against mine, I want to be the one who gets pressed against the wall and while I imagine him grabbing the lapels of my jacket, swirl me around and against the wall hard with his angelic strength I feel my blood rush south but the feeling doesn't last when I come back to reality and see what happens in front of me.
So I guess I can give up denying it now. I definitely want Cas but obviously he is into someone else. Just my luck. I turn away with a grunt and face Sammy who is just as flabbergasted as I am, staring at the two lovebirds a few feet away. Does Cas even plan to stop sometime soon or is he going to fuck her right under our eyes? I wish it was me feeling his tongue slide into my mouth.
"Wow, Clarence… what was this for?" Meg asks cockily when they come apart for air. Her eyes sparkle, it must have been good and – damn! – I'm beyond jealous. I see red, actually, nearly unable to control myself. I don't know who I wanna hurt more: Cas for kissing Meg or the demon for enjoying it. Stupid bitch, I knew she would cause problems sooner or later, but I never would have guessed they would be so… private.
"I learned this from the pizza man." Cas states as if it is obvious and my jaw drops again, knowing that Sammy looks just like me right now. We really should make sure that Cas doesn't have access to porn anymore. Not even was he trying to discuss the movies with us, now he also wants to try it all out. Oh wait! What if he wants to try more? My mind races and I pray to whatever God there is, that Cas won't try to sleep with Meg to experience himself what he has just seen in a movie. My heart races, I'm close to freaking out. When my eyes dart towards the strange angel, I instantly look away. His blue eyes kill me and all the feelings I have suppressed until now surface. Shit, I want him so badly. I want that he wants me but miracles don't happen to a Winchester. Not the ones you may hope for…
Numbly I follow Sam and the others out of the deserted building when we're done. I'm still feeling numb when we drive to the motel we're staying in and I still feel numb when I lay down on my bed and hope to get some sleep but the images I've seen won't let me fall into blackness. Sam sits on his own bed, the laptop on his lap, typing away, then reading a while, then typing again. I know he's doing research and I know I should help him and normally he would bark at me to get my lazy ass out of bed to do it but not tonight. With the sudden heat of shock flushing me within one split second I sit up straight and stare over at my brother. Does Sammy know how I felt when I saw Cas kiss this demon? Does he suspect that there are feelings for the angel on my side? Shit! I just got aware that I want him really bad a few hours ago – though I know I think a lot of things about Cas that you shouldn't think about a male friend too often – so how the fuck does he know? Maybe he doesn't… I get up and walk over to him, standing in front of his bed until he looks up.
"Are you finished sulking?" He asks and gives me one of his most famous bitch faces: the one with the raised eyebrows. I hate it when he looks at me with such arrogance!
"What's your problem, Sammy?" I ask in return, knowing that he hates it when I call him Sammy when we're arguing. This situation is so going to escalate. My hands are on my hips, I'm tense, I need release and a plan forms in my head.
"Dean… I've seen your reaction when Cas performed the pizza man on Meg." Sam says and I wish he wouldn't talk with such a damn understanding voice to me. "Is there something you want to tell me? About Cas?" I fume, ready to explode but I breathed three times before I answer, closing my eyes. When I open them again I know that this was a silent confession. Fuck, why does my brother know me so damn well?
"There's absolutely nothing – nothing! – I have to tell you!" I never meant to scream but now I do but it doesn't offend him the way I thought it would. He is still calm, his eyes full of pity. How dare he? Okay, so I have feelings for Cas, maybe I want to feel his slender fingers on my body, maybe I want to know how his lips taste, maybe I want to cuddle up in his arms but it is none of Sammy's damn business.
"Dean…" He tries, setting his laptop aside to stand up. I walk away, now pacing through the room that suddenly feels way too small for me. "Do you love him?" Love? Who said anything about love? A Winchester better not fall in love, those we love die too soon. I don't want to think about it and mentally press my hands against my ears, trying to shut out those thoughts but my heart betrays me. There is more than just curiosity and longing, there is smiles when I see him tilt his head and there is a rapid heartbeat when I hear him say my name the way he does… As if I'm everything to him. I recall Sam's question and shake my head wildly, backing towards the door, grabbing the handle firmly, more for support than anything else and watch my brother walk towards me with his hands held up in the air as if I was a hurt animal he doesn't wanna scare away.
"No!" I breathe out. "The people we love die, Sammy." When he comes closer I feel trapped and before I think about it I open the door and rush out of the room, slamming the door shut behind me. He won't follow me, he knows me and he knows that it is pointless but I make sure that he won't get me and hop into my car, starting the engine. The noise of the motor is kind of soothing to me and I calm down while I drive out of the parking lot and onto the street towards the town we are staying close to. I will go to a bar. A nice woman, a soft body will cure me – at least I hope so. I haven't gone out to find some girl for months, I just never felt like it and when I found myself a girl to sleep with, last time I was thinking of Cas the whole time, hating myself for it. I don't even know why I give a fuck that he's a guy. Perhaps because I always act tough and all but what is tough about denying?
All the way to the nearest bar I brood and think of Cas, my mind painting wonderful pictures of him pressing me to a wall or a mattress to have his way with me and when I park my car, I shake my head before I get out of the car. I don't wanna think about this now, I'm here to find distraction! The place is crowded, the music loud and the people drunk. Just what I was looking for and so I order a whiskey and let my eyes roam the crowd while sipping it by the bar. My heart hammers within my chest, I'm awfully aware that Sam had been right: I am in love with my male angel best friend. Shit, how could I let this happen? I don't wanna lose Cas, it would scare the shit out of him if he finds out – most likely. He's so sweet and innocent sometimes, so much an angel of the Lord, that it makes me wanna weep.
Better to distract yourself sooner than later, Winchester! I tell myself and walk over to a nice raven haired girl by a billiard table. She turns when I tap her shoulder, looking at me questioningly. At first I'm disappointed, because she is just not Cas but then I lean forward to whisper into her ear. I've done this a thousand times and most of the time I get the same reaction as I get now: she laughs a bit and bats her eyelashes at me, coming closer. Yeah, this is how I have always done it, what I'm absolutely tired of but I don't stop anyways. She introduces herself as Lucy and follows me over into a darker corner where we are covered from the view of most of the people in the bar all the while pressing her hips to mine while we walk over and my arm is thrown around her thin shoulders.
Curious eyes shouldn't find us here to easily though I don't intend to take her in this bar. Maybe in the backseat of my baby like so many women before her. Though we are shielded from view I feel eyes bore into the back of my head, so very aware of being watched, now. I turn around to find out who stares at me and find a certain angel in a trench coat by the small part of the bar I can see. His blue eyes are looking straight into mine, this unafraid gaze I fell for, his jaw is set in a straight line. He looks at me with this grim expression, arms hanging by his sides as if he doesn't know what to do with them but I guess he doesn't even notice that they just hang there limply. Fuckin' hell, he is beyond beautiful and Lilly is already forgotten. Lilly? Lara? I don't care, I don't want her, I want Cas and I want him badly. I walk over to him, leaving a puzzled woman behind and I'm marginally aware that she yells something at me.
"Why're you here, Cas?" I ask, suddenly angry because he disturbs me while I try to forget about him for a few minutes. There is this cute tilt of his head again and it nearly makes me freak out and jump him, but I don't. Does he even know what he does to me? I guess not, he's oblivious to my feelings and my heart sinks.
"I saw you kissing this woman." Cas just answers, leaving me puzzled. His voice is calm but it holds a dangerous edge as if I had done something wrong.
"Yes. And she was willing to go even farther, we could be in the backseat of my car right now. She would have let me fuck her brain out." I see that my blunt choice of words makes him wince and he opens his mouth to speak but I see red and can't help it. "So you better have a good reason to be here." I look over my shoulder but Louise has already gone back to join her friends at playing billiard. Damn! She had been an easy target…
"I – Dean…." Cas stammers, making me even more mad at him. Why is he so fuckin' adorable and so damn oblivious at the same time? It is as if he is mocking me, I wanna slam my fist into his face, throw him to the ground and kiss him… I have never – ever! – been so confused in my entire life.
"Just shut up and fuck off, Cas!" I scream, seeing the pain in his eyes. Good. So he hurts, too! "Why don't you go and find something to do? Maybe you wanna go and fuck this demon bitch!" I'm already sorry for my words but taking them back now isn't possible and so I just go on, feeling the tears well in my eyes. "Guess you might like it!" I spit but choke on the last word. I'm afraid that I might break down crying in front of Cas and in front of all those people and so I turn on my heals and storm out into the cold where my Baby awaits me patiently. For a few seconds I stand there, looking at the black car helplessly. I don't wanna get back to the motel room where Sammy will be and I can't go back into that stupid bar either.
"Dean." An angry voice growls behind me and I turn to face Cas again. I have never seen his face in such a rage. It takes him just three long steps to walk over to me, grabbing the lapels of my shirt to push me into the shadows of the alley next to the bar. I tend to forget that he's an angel and as strong as hell and so I just stumble until my back hits the wall and the breath is knocked out of me. "How dare you talk to me like that?" His voice rings in my ears and with utter shock I realize that it is his real voice coming through. He is about to lose himself and kill me… So be it, fate is an ironic bitch. "Why?" He booms and I cover my ears in pain from the noise. So if he kills me now or beats me up to never talk to me again, I can as well talk what's on my mind. There is just one question since he performed the pizza man.
"Why did you kiss Meg? Why her and not me?" I ask with resignation and it gets utterly still. Cas just stands there, his hands still nearly crushing my neck and collarbones but a bit of the pressure is released now. I feel the tears that run down over my face, those feelings have finally found a way to well out of me. Cas sees it and gasps, one hand coming up to wipe them away ever so gently, the gesture a rough contrast to his yelling just a few seconds ago. "Don't do this to me, Cas." I mumble, barely above a whisper, my voice failing on the tears. "Please don't touch me, I want you so much." Have I said it out loud? So what… I'm a crying mess in front of a creature more powerful than I can even imagine. My legs shake just like my lips. I wanna go home and crawl under the covers of my bed to hide from the world.
"Jealousy, Dean?" My angel asks me and I nod, unable to deny any longer.
"Yes." I confess, shaking like a leaf under Cas' hands and eyes. "Yes, Cas, I'm jealous beyond words." I close my eyes and wait for Cas to leave or beat the shit out of me, really, I don't care anymore, I'm done pretending and being strong and an alpha male or whatever... My angel has reduced me to what I really am: fears and insecurities.
"So it worked out just as I planned it." Cas says and I open my eyes to look into his blue depths once again. There is a soft and gentle smile playing around his lips that I have never seen there before and it is breathtakingly beautiful like all about him. My brain can't follow up on what he said, I'm too tired, I don't get it...
"Planned?" I reply dumbly and he comes closer, the smile growing wicked and I can smell his musky scent that always drives me insane. Why does he torture me like that? Why doesn't he have mercy and just leave me here? His hand still lingers on my face and I wanna die because I love the feel of his slender fingers against my cheek.
"You had to realize your feelings for me. And you did." He comes even closer, now, I can feel his breath on my face and take a shivering breath. "Do you love me, Dean?" I whimper at his words, afraid that he is disgusted with me.
"Yes."
"Say it, Dean Winchester." A deep breath, I look into his eyes. He has ripped me open nearly literally.
"I love you, Cas." He releases a breath I was not aware he was holding in and then his lips are on mine, covering my mouth with his. God, his lips are soft and sweet, I would never have imagined that it would feel so damn fucking good to be kissed by him. My angel goes slow, he plays with my lips, nibbling gently, caressing them until a little moan escapes me and he uses the opportunity to slip his tongue in between them to stroke every inch of my mouth he can reach. That is the second my legs give in. I would sink to the floor if his body wouldn't press me against the wall like I have dreamed of. This is so much better than my fantasies, this is heaven.
Wait...? Does this mean he feels the same way? Or if he just playing with me? Is he that cruel? Why does he kiss me? I'm just Dean Winchester, I will never be worth being loved by an angel! I guess he senses my hesitation because he stops, looking up at me. My jeans are too tight and they are getting tigther when I see his lust blown eyes, so full of...what?...love?
"Why?" I demand to know and I've never been so afraid of getting an answer to a question. He smiles again, then his face goes back to being serious again. Fuck, say something!
"Don't you see it, Dean?" My angel asks me but I can't see anything at the moment. I'm so confused that I barely even know my own name. "You are mine. I love you." Cas then says and I'm unable to suppress the sob that rises in my throat when I hear those words. I'm unworthy. "I betrayed my brothers and sisters, I killed angels, I rebelled against heaven and I did all of it just for you, Dean." His hand brushes through my hair and I lean into his touch. "Because I need you safe." He says and when he sees me opening my mouth again to speak he comes down to seal it with his own again. Fuck, this is great, his lips are so sweet and soft and gentle and sensual and when I kiss him back he smiles against my mouth, deepening the kiss to split my lips.
His words sink in slowly. He loves me. Cas loves me. My angel loves me. I'm not sure if I'm able to believe it any time soon but the way he moves against me soothes me. His whole body is pressed against mine, otherwise I would glide down the wall because my body has gone limp a few minutes ago and as if he senses this, he holds me up in a standing position. I will get addicted to his lips, I just know that I will hunger for his kisses if he ever leaves me for more than a few days. I hope he won't do this as frequently as he had done until now and I get painfully aware how much I really need him by my side. I always missed him but it will get worse, I can tell.
When he releases my lips to let me breathe again, his ocean blue eyes lock with mine again. I love the way he looks at me, I always did but this is much better. There are no longer hidden feelings within those depths and I fall ever faster for him. I jump when his hands land on my hips and he pushes my back harder against the wall, stroking the skin he can reach with his fingers, pulling my shirt up a little bit to have better access. I arch into his touch involuntarily, I can't help it, my body reacts on his own and my whimpers bring a smirk to his full, kiss swollen lips.
"So eager…" He whispers mockingly and rakes his nails over the sensitive skin next to my navel so that I have to suppress a moan that wants to rise in my chest. He goes on and it doesn't take long for me to squirm under his hands. This is so new to me. Normally I'm the one who touches and caresses but being touched and being caressed by someone who just told me he loves me is the best thing I have ever felt. I'm lost, so damn lost under his hands, unable to control myself and he seems to enjoy to see me like this, reduced to nothing but instincts and lust. "We will go slow, Dean." He whispers into my ear teasingly while stepping even closer to me, pressing our hips together. My head falls back against the wall, I'm all his, unable to say something. When he steps back I give something between a sigh and a whimper and place my arms and hands flat against the wall for support. "And we will definitely not do it out here." He says with his arms crossed over his chest. I know my mouth hangs open when I look up at him, I know I look like a mess, like a drug addicted without his drug.
"My car then…" I whisper, surprised that my voice sounds more like a moan than anything else. Cas shakes his head, confusing me even more. Can't he see that I need him, now? Can't he see that I'm unable to think? He comes closer again, gathering my shivering form in his arms.
"No, Dean. You will book us a nice room in a hotel. You deserve more than an alley or the backseat of your car." He says and walks me over to my baby while I slowly regain my senses. What he says sounds great but it will take some time to drive to a hotel and book a room for the night, every minute will kill me a little bit more. Get yourself together, Winchester. I tell myself. I've waited for this for ages and another few minutes won't be the end of me. I turn to look into his face again and I'm not sure anymore. Cas opens the driver's door for me but before I sit down behind the wheel I steal another kiss from him, his lips lingering, sending electrical jolts down my spine. I want more of him, all of him and my body aches for his touch.
"Something you have in mind?" I ask Cas when he gets into the seat next to me, coming as close as possible, his hands folded in his lap.
"Just drive." He urges me and I smile to myself. He wants this as badly as I want it, the desperation in his voice betrays his calm face. There is a question nagging at the back of my mind and while I drive out of the parking lot and towards town I look at him as long as driving a car permits me to.
"When you kissed Meg…" I begin, unsure of how to phrase this. "Did you just do it because you wanted me jealous? Do you feel something for her?" I'm insecure and I confess it openly with this question but then this is Cas sitting next to me, he knows everything about me, he has dragged me out of hell and put me back together, he knows every dark secret I may hide… His head turns towards me slowly and he looks at me for quite some time before he answers, making me nervous.
"She is a demon, Dean." He says after endless minutes of silence. "I used her for my plan." Did he really just say that?
"You used her?" Suddenly I'm angry at him, my voice louder than usual. "Damn, Cas, I nearly died when I watched you kiss her. It felt so fuckin' wrong….!" He cocks his head to the side and smiles at my shyly and I swear he does this on purpose!
"I know." Is all I get as an answer before he leans back to look back at the road like I do.
"You know? And you let me go through this hell because what…? You enjoy to torture me?" Another smirk appears on his face before he turns to me again.
"Yes, I do. It worked, didn't it?" He lowers his voice to a whisper and I shudder at his deep voice that touches something deep within me. "I will punish you later for doubting my methods." His eyes look into mine honestly, unafraid, promising. I gulp and feel my blood rush southwards again while I concentrate on remembering how to drive a car. Maybe my angel wants to drive me insane…
It takes us ten minutes to get to a nice hotel and another ten minutes until we can go up into our room as Cas demands it. We use the elevator to get up to the third floor and once the door closes behind us and the cabin begins to lift us up, Cas is all over me again, grabbing my shoulders to pull me into a breathtaking kiss and I can't help but laugh happily into his mouth, grabbing onto him for dear life as I try to hold myself together. We didn't book an expensive room to do it in the elevator in the end…
When the door opens with a ding a few seconds later he looks at me with lust blown eyes and I know there is no holding back for him any longer. I fumble with the keys while his arms are around my waist, holding me firmly against his incredibly warm body while placing open mouthed kisses into the nape of my neck. Once the door is open, he pushes me inside, closing the door behind us to press me up against it and I helplessly moan into his lips, clinging to him while he devours me thoroughly. I don't have the chance to say another word and after a few seconds my mind is blank, wiped empty by his urgent treatment. I want him so…
Nothing will stop him, now, and I sure as hell will not try it. His movements get more eager, he steps back just a little bit and begins to open the buttons on my shirt slowly, his fingers working with precision, revealing my naked skin beneath. Without saying a word he slides his hands up over my stomach, over my chest and to my shoulders to throw the cloth off my body and for a second we stare into each others eyes. I know I'm breathing rapidly because I'm excited, curious and maybe a little bit afraid of what will happen but I trust him and he seems so sure of what he does that I gladly hand myself over into his loving touches.
"You're so beautiful, Dean." He whispers and lets his hand glide to the skin that still remembers the hand print he has once left there. It is gone, he healed the burnt skin but I wish it was back again. The skin still tingles sometimes when I think of him though now it is flawless. "You want it back?" He asks in a hushed voice, his fingers gliding over the flawless skin. Has he read my thoughts or is it that obvious.
"Yes." Is all I can manage to say and he smiles at me. An open and honest smile, nothing he has to force onto his lips.
"Close your eyes." I follow his instruction and see the bright light through my lids and feel the heat on my arm where his hand lies. When I open my eyes again, his hand print is back, like a tattoo that marks me as his possession. I'm just fine with it, I'm his and no one else will have me ever again. We look into each others eyes before he groans impatiently and grabs me again, turning us around and walking me back towards the bed slowly while he kisses me senseless. My jeans is too tight, I'm hard for him, ready to be taken, wanting him, needing him so much.
"Cas..." I moan and he looks up at me, his loving eyes hidden behind his thick lashes. God, he is so fuckin' beautiful. Does he know it? "Please..." I'm not sure what I'm begging for but he seems to know and steps back and with a lazy smile he loosens his tie, throwing it onto the bed, then he let his trench coat and suit jacket fall to the floor and I just know I'm staring hungrily. When he reveals naked skin by opening button after button on his shirt, I can't stand it any longer and step forwards to instantly let my lips trail over his collar bones, sucking, licking, tasting. This is heaven, he moans at my treatment, his head falling back while my hands glide over his sides and back.
Feeling his skin against mine is wonderful, he is warm and soft but I can also feel the muscles move beneath his skin when he moves gracefully. "I told you, I would punish you..." Cas whispers against the shell of my ear and grabs my shoulders to throw me onto the bed just a second later. I land on my back all breath knocked out of me. Not from the force of falling but from the sight in front of me: Cas just steps out of his trousers and underwear, he is completely naked and so unbelievably hard for me. Oh God, for a split second I feel fear rise in me, I have never slept with a man before, I'm well aware how it works but... My thoughts stop dead when my angel crawls onto the bed and above me, sitting on my lap, straddling my hips while he grabs my arms and presses me int the pillows.
Fuck! If it possible I get even harder as he carefully wraps his tie around my wrists and.. wait, what? It is already too late when I realize what he is doing and my hands are bound to the bed above my head and I'm lying in front of Cas, sprawled out for him to touch and torture. "No. Cas, no. I wanna touch you." I whimper. And I wanna hold him, grab him, rake my nails over his soft skin to leave marks...
"For now you just have to enjoy." He says and then leans down to place soft, lingering kisses around my navel, making me breathe heavily. Shit, where has Cas learned to be such a damn, fuckin' tease? I should show him porn more often I decide and with a groan my head falls back into the pillows and my eyes fall shut when he follows the trails of soft light hair that leads between my legs where I ache to feel him. Why doesn't he touch me where I need him the most? "Dean..." He breathes, his lips ghosting over my tip as he speaks and with utter panic I note that I'm already way to close just because it is him touching and caressing me so erotically.
"Cas..." I answer, the word coming out as a loud and stretched moan. He looks up the length of my body and I feel my member throbbing when I see him lick his lips with that wicked tongue. "Stop teasing. Please, please... take me already." He chuckled and my hips tremble when his tongue darts out to lick over the slit to taste precum. "Don't." I rasp, the knot in my groin growing tighter. I'm close, so close, so excited... I wanna grab him to pull him up, I wanna kiss him, I wanna feel his length against mine, I wanna hold him while he fucks into my body.
"Patience, love." Cas purrs and kisses my hip bones, licking sometimes. This is heaven and hell, this is so great, I want more and I don't ever want him to stop! He kisses every inch of my shivering body and when he is finally in front of my face I nearly whimper because it takes way too long for him to find my lips and do all those wicked things to my mouth that drive me insane.
"I want you, Cas. I want you so." So he has reduced me to a begging mess but the strangest thing about it is that I don't even care. "Fuck me... please..." He looks up, stopping so suddenly that I gasp. His blue eyes look into mine and there is anger obvious in those blue oceans.
"I won't fuck you, Dean Winchester." He growls and his angry, rough voice sends more shivers down my back to settle in between my legs. It almost hurts by now, I'm so hard, so ready. "I will take you, because you're mine." He threateningly grabs a handful of my hair and pulls them hard. "And I will make love to you, because I love you." That's it. I struggle hard to get my hands free but the knot he tied holds me well and with a smile he presses my hips against the bed and lies in between my thighs. For now he uses his angel power to prepare me as fast as he can and after another seconds I feel him slide into my body slowly but mercilessly. I know I'm screaming from pain and pleasure and he stops once he is fully sheathed in me. God, this is great. My body arches and I push my hips against his, making him moan helplessly just like I do.
"Shhh... I got you. Relax." His words are so sweet and gentle, I love that I'm completely at his mercy and that he makes me his. After a minute he begins to move against my hips, he goes slowly at first, increasing his rhythm only when he is sure that I have adjusted and once I get used to feel him inside me, he grabs my sides over my hips and smoothly fucks into my in flawless movements.
I love him. I love him so much. He kisses my lips softly. "I love you, too, Dean." He whispers. Have I said it out loud? Cas does this to me, he makes me helpless and I come undone more and more for him. Again I struggle to get my hands free and now he has mercy on me and releases me so I can wrap my arms around his shoulders, my nails instantly digging into his flesh and I draw blood and a low scream from him. Sex has never felt that good before, no woman has completed me as he does now and I want more, I want this for the rest of my life. I want him for the rest of my life. A tear slips from my eyes when I realize how happy I am right now.
"Dean..." my angel whispers roughly and leans down to kiss the tears from my cheeks, licking them away only to make me groan at his gentle treatment. He is the first person in this world who truly shows and tells me how much he loves me, how much he adores me and it drives me mad. My senses work on overload, every cell in my body burns from lust that begins to coil harder in my groin, I'm close, so damn close... Cas goes slower, he buries himself deep in me, kisses me, teases me only to draw back and repeat his actions. I'm lost. I can't stand it any longer, my body gives in and I moan loudly, trying to breathe the pleasure away but I can't keep it at bay.
"Cas... God, Cas." I pant and his intense blue eyes lock with mine. "I – I can't – I'm – Cas!" The last words is torn as a scream from my lips when he thrust into me without mercy.
"Come for me!" And I do. He watches me when I shiver and shake under his movement and when I let go he gently thrusts me through it, smiling when my moans turn into his name that falls from my lips again and again and then his eyes turn bright, angelic light blinding me and I hear his real voice when he presses himself as deep into my body as he can and then he comes. I feel it and it isn't even a little bit strange. This is Cas, this is wonderful, this is heaven.
He doesn't collapse on top of me, he grabs me gently and takes me into his arms, rolling us over so that I lie on his chest, his heavy breathing getting slower with every second we lie here and cuddle. I have never cuddled after sex, and it is the best I have ever done.
"Don't ever leave me, angel." I whisper and he kisses the top of my head.
"Promised, love."
.:END:.
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