"In truth, love is watching someone die. I saw what happened to Phil Coulson." Hill's eyes misted over as she continued, "Phil Coulson was…"
Tony leaned his head back, sunglasses blocking his eyes from the assembled crowd. Natasha sat on one side, and Steve sat on the other. He wasn't bored and trying to hide fluttering eyelids. He was upset, and he might have even been crying a little bit. But he wouldn't let anyone know that. Tony Stark didn't and couldn't show weakness.
He had made his speech, as had all the Avengers, and some of Coulson's fellow agents. The funeral was winding down and people were now trickling out of the room. He exited and headed straight towards his car, fully intent on getting home to cry his eyes out.
That didn't happen.
"Tony!"
He spun around, leaning coolly against his car. "Captain?" The man jogged to catch up to him, before leaning heavily against the side of his car. Tony blinked expectantly, although he couldn't see it.
"Listen…Tony, I know that you're hurting. You were crying in there." Tony stiffened and Steve caught the motion, "And that's okay! I just…I want you to know that I'm there."
"Yes Captain. You will support and love your team to the ends of the whole earth!" Tony exclaimed, waving his arms in the air dramatically. "That doesn't change the fact that Coulson is dead. Plus Hill was right, love is watching someone die. I couldn't have done that. I don't love because I can't watch anyone I know die." Steve's brow furrowed.
"Tony…that makes absolutely no sense!" he snapped, "You're beating yourself up because you don't want your friends to die?"
"No. You cannot put it that way and roll it off like I care because I don't." Tony sniffed disdainfully. Steve snorted, before breaking into a slightly hysterical laugh.
"Tony. You care. You care about me and the Avengers. And you cared about Phil Coulson. You can't even pretend that you didn't. You were crying and it wasn't for some stupid reason, like you were said you couldn't care, but it was because you cared." Steve shook his head, staring Tony down. "I don't understand why you can't admit that you have feelings."
"Because feelings aren't good! Believe it or not golden boy, feelings get you hurt in the end! If I hadn't cared about Phil Coulson, then I wouldn't have cared that he died!"
"True, but then you wouldn't have had the chance to know him in life!" Steve shook his head, moving closer to Tony, who just leaned against his car. "Tony, fine. You're right. If you care about someone than you could get hurt by them. But the good times makes up for the bad times." Steve leaned forward. "Tony…"
Tony turned his head, avoiding his stare. "I don't…I don't want to care though Steve…it hurts too much. I cared about Howard when he didn't do the same. I cared about Pepper and she broke up with me. I can't care about people when all it does it hurt me." Steve reached out for him, but Tony shrugged him off, slipping into his car. "Just don't Steve. The Avengers aren't needed anymore, so everyone will go their separate ways, and I'll be hurt again."
He slammed his car door in Steve's face and sped away.
Tony silently opened the door when Steve appeared with a duffle bag of clothes at his door two weeks later.
Totally not what the prompter meant when they said "use the quote love is watching someone die," but I am apparently physically incapable of writing character death or anything without a semi-hopeful to happy ending. Lol. R & R.