Apparently I wrote this months ago and then forgot about it. Oh, well. It's up now.
Three boys sat in the Room of Requirement, which had taken the form of a small room lit only by the lantern they sat around. The three boys looked very different. One had dark black hair, wicked green eyes, and glasses. One had blond hair, a pointed chin, and a confused expression. The third had brown hair, a ruddy complexion, and blue eyes.
The one with the black hair spoke first. "You know how it goes." He nodded to the brunette.
Rising a bit unsteadily to his feet, the boy took a deep breath. "My name is Ficus Frank Longbottom. My middle name ain't too bad, I suppose. But Longbottom." He shivered. "And Ficus. My dad wanted to name me after a plant, of course. Apparently Ficus was the best they could think of. Well, I think it's rubbish."
The blonde boy stared at him with a mix of awe and sympathy. The black-haired boy nodded at him and stood up as Ficus sat back down around the lantern.
"My name is Albus Severus Potter. I was named after two headmasters of Hogwarts. My father says I should be proud. They were brave men, and all. But I still don't see why I couldn't have been named James. It's alright in the wizarding world, I suppose. I mean, people stare when I say it, but it's not too bad. But when I'm in the Muggle world. 'Albus, did you say?'" Albus said, putting on a snobby accent. "'Why, that's an interesting name.' Yeah, sure."
Albus sat back down and both of the boys who had spoken turned to look at the third boy.
The third boy stood up and looked around. "Well, I'm Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy so… I think I beat both of you. We can start with Malfoy. Everybody hates me immediately when I say I'm a Malfoy. They don't care that I'm in Gryffindor instead of Slytherin – no offense, Al – they just assume that I'm just like my dad and my grandfather. Then you have Scorpius which is just gross. And Hyperion… what were they thinking when they named me Hyperion?"
Ficus cleared his throat gently. "Um, Scor, how did they decide to name you?"
Scorpius made a face, but was completely serious when he said, "I think they must have been drinking the night I was born."
The other boys held back snickers and Scorpius sat back down, taking his place around the circle.
"Albus, I thought you said you invited James?" Ficus said softly.
"I did. But he said he loves having Sirius as a middle name. Gets to use the 'But Serious is my middle name' joke," Albus spat.
"Oh." Ficus paused. "Well, we need more recruits."
Scorpius nodded.
"Dominique said she wanted to come, but couldn't make it because she had Quidditch practice. And Lorcan and Lysander Scamander are already on the list, even though they're only 8," Albus said with a laugh.
Scorpius smiled. "Yeah, they'll definitely want to join. And maybe your cousin Hugo will join in two years."
The other boys agreed with him.
"Does anybody have any other business they'd like to discuss?" Albus asked. When nobody said anything, he continued. "Well, this concludes the second meeting of the Bad Name Club."
In case it was unclear, I went with a Slytherin Albus and Gryffindor Scorpius for this fic. It didn't really matter what house Ficus was in.
Hope you enjoyed! Please review and let me know!
~writergal24