Roommates sucked. That was an undisputed fact in Misty's brain. All of them were scum of the earth, awful people.
Why?
Because she didn't have any that's why.
They all left, damn them. Sure, she had never actually really spoken with them properly, and maybe Misty was a bit of an asshole, but that didn't mean they could just up and move out, leaving her with a rent bigger than all her sister's egos combined. She was still a good roommate she knew two out of three of their names. Let's see there was Erika… Yasmin (or was it Jasmine? She couldn't recall) and… well so maybe she knew one and a half names out of three but it wasn't like they were any better. One of the girls who wasn't important enough for Misty's brain to hold on to her name called her Marissa for two whole fucking years.
Now they were gone, some of them moving in with boyfriends Misty had never met but heard very clearly from the safety of her room. It sometimes got so bad Misty had almost burst in on their naked and sweaty selves and smothered them with their cheap ass pillows. The others were going to new universities or something. Those girls had majored in something, they did after all study, but Misty had no idea what they actually were reading about.
If she wasn't broke then maybe this would be the best thing that ever happened to her, a three bedroom apartment all to herself. It sounded a little like heaven. Except the monthly rent which added up to a whopping two thousand a month. No one had that kind of money. Maybe Bill Gates or a really in demand stripper but that's about it. Misty was unfortunately neither.
There was always moving but not only was that a pain in her backside, this apartment's location was perfect and only a few minutes from her school. She'd been hunting for apartments for the past couple weeks and nothing was cheap and close to the school. Roommates were her only option.
Now she had one month to find at least three roommates and before her first semester of her last year of school began.
Fun.
Where to begin?
On the upside, Misty did have one candidate in mind.
There was a pretty cool waitress at the diner Misty often found herself at after a night of shame and drinking. She seemed pretty cool and made a mean black coffee that worked wonders for hangovers. They hadn't spoken much apart from Misty's food and drink orders and one-sided drunk small talk. Still she appeared to be roommate material so Misty had to come up with a plan to subtly ask a girl she'd only known for… well not long, to move in with her.
Subtle was not one of Misty's strong points if she was being honest.
That's how she ended up at the Hearthome City Diner with a shitty add to put on their bulletin board.
Scanning the counters Misty spotted her target.
"Hey Iris," She greeted with a smile.
A short girl with long purple hair and a deep skin tone turned around and smiled,
"Misty? What are you doing here stone cold sober?"
Ah. There it was.
"Hey I'm not always—
"You're such a kid, really pull your life together," The girl chastised.
"I'm sorry how old are you again?" Misty asked with narrowed eyes.
Iris laughed sheepishly, scratching the back of her head.
"Yeah, that's what I thought smart ass," Misty grinned proudly, "I'm just here to post an ad, and I think I'll take my usual to go."
Iris held her hand out expectantly and was then handed the sheet of paper. She observed it with unimpressed eyes chuckled.
"This, is your ad?" She scoffed, "It's just a sheet of paper with one line of text that says…" Iris paused to read it, "Roommates needed, bring your own shit. Call this number."
"What of it?"
"This is the worst piece of advertisement I've ever seen, and I love it," Iris explained and then asked with a raised eyebrow, "Wait, aren't you a PR Major? Either you should ask your school for your money back or you should change majors."
"It's not like I have much to offer or embellish. I'm pretty much the person you wouldn't ever—"
Misty stopped suddenly. She was trying to convince Iris to move into her apartment, not put her off the idea indefinitely. Maybe the girl was right, switching Majors might be in her best interest. She was getting off topic.
"Uh… what's wrong?"
"Nothing! I was just wondering if you wanted to move into my apartment!" Misty burst out.
Dammit she shouldn't have blurted that out, so much for subtlety. Lily had always said that she had the subtlety of a jack hammer. Violet had said a gun. Daisy had said a steamroller.
"Yeah sure."
"Wait, I swear it would even be that bad— wait, what? Really?"
That was easy… too easy?
"I mean sure, it is fast, asking me to live with you just like that. We haven't even gone on our first date yet."
"Har har har." Misty deadpanned, "So you're in?"
"Of course," She replied, "I'm sort of sick of my tiny ass place, I like having someone to live with."
"Great, I'm glad you think so because I need at least two more people to move in with us or else I'm getting evicted."
"Damn, you really do need to get your life together," Iris sighed, as Misty blushed furiously, "I just have a few conditions."
"Shoot."
"One, you can't be a psycho killer who will cut me up, deep freeze me, then toast me for breakfast."
"Naw, you're safe there. Even if I was, I'd consider you too small and not worth the effort." Misty was slightly… explosive, but she hadn't killed anyone yet.
"Two, are animals permitted?"
"Do you have a pet?"
"No, but I like to be prepared."
"Sorry no animals, but one of my roommates kept a dog for two years and the landlady never noticed," Misty assured her, "Or maybe she just didn't care, I can't be sure."
"Three, I have to approve the other roommates."
"I need all the help I can get." And Lord knows Misty did.
"Last one, no one by the name of Georgia will ever set foot in said apartment."
"Uh… OK?" The hell?
"When can I move in?"
"Tonight?"
"Heh, why not?"
Doorbells were the invention of Satan, of this Misty was sure of.
"FUCK!" She cursed when the basted thing woke her up from her insanely comfortable and relaxing nap, "What in the name of sweet Christmas is it?! It is an unlawful hour and if you don't have a good reason for darkening my doorstep I'll—" She swung the door open violently and halted when she saw who was standing there, Iris and another girl she'd never met before. Iris seemed unaffected but the other girl looked a little freaked out, "Crap, I'm sorry. I forgot you'd be coming. I fell asleep…"
"Whatever," Iris said, waving her off, "Don't be bother by her Dawn, she's just criminally insane."
"Uh…" The navy haired girl began, but thought better of it and instead introduced her, "I'm Dawn, nice to meet you!"
"Misty, charmed," She muttered, "What are you doing here?"
"We're here to crash your place!" Iris announced, lifting up her bags for emphasis, "Dawn here is your newest roommate. One down, two to go."
Misty gave her a strange look, would have been nice to have a warning that another person was moving in, but then again beggars can't be choosers. Her eyes then gravitated towards what they were carrying, they only had a few bags…
"Is that all you brought?"
"Yeah, and?"
Yeah and the ad said bring your own shit. Misty was kind of hoping they'd bring a lot of it.
"Well, alright then, come on in," She said uncertainly.
Misty watched as the two walked through the door, scared for their reaction to her choice in, well, interior decorating.
"It's empty," Dawn said plainly.
And that it was.
All Misty had to her name was a microwave oven, an air mattress, a set of plastic plates from Ikea, a package of disposable forks, and her clothes that were folded neatly in a pile since she hadn't put them in the closet yet. Oh, and a coffee maker.
"Where's all the furniture?"
"Uh… my old housemates sort of took it with 'em."
"What a bunch of jerks— What the fuck?! You have a bunch of dead fish on your walls!" Iris laughed heartily, clutching her stomach, "Why?"
"Because fish are awesome that's why." Misty said, there was no other explanation needed for the various sizes of fish that she had mounted on her walls.
What? She liked to fish.
"I feel like they're staring into my soul," Dawn remarked casually, "Are there any of those in my room?"
"No."
"Let's keep it that way."
Misty nodded; somewhat offended that the girl didn't appreciate the beauty that was aquatic animals. She had much to teach these young ones.
"Seriously though," Iris groaned, "What the hell are we supposed to do with an empty apartment?"
"No need to worry! Y'know I can have some of my friends help move in some of the furniture I have in storage. I've got plenty to fill this place up."
"I hope you know that I already love you Dawn, let's get married," Misty grinned taking Dawn's hand and kissing it jokingly, Dawn giggled as if embarrassed.
"Alright love birds, that's great and all, but what are we supposed to do tonight?" Iris said, breaking the two of them up.
"I have a queen sized air mattress!" Misty yelled out raising her hand into the air, "Feel free to use it!"
"I'm fine on the floor," Iris replied, "Just worried about Princess Dawn here, she's used to comfort."
Dawn frowned,
"Not true! Excuse me if I like having a pillow," She sniffed, "We all can't be crazy outdoor enthusiasts like you!"
"You're such a kid, calm down."
"I'm older than you."
Misty held back a smile; this was going to be fun.
How Dawn managed to be so pretty and peppy in the ungodly hours of the morning, then again Misty thought that all AM hours were ungodly, but that was hardly the point.
Misty watched in an almost disgusted awe as Dawn flitted about the kitchen gracefully, humming a pretty tune to herself as she prepared coffee for the three of them.
"So Dawn," Misty asked as approached the girl, "You know anyone looking for a place?"
The blue haired girl grinned happily as if to say she did, but shook her head saying no. That was some mixed message if Misty ever saw one. This girl was confusing as shit.
"Sorry, I might have if you asked me like two weeks ago.
"But I didn't," Misty deadpanned.
"Too bad, my ex-girlfriend Zoey totally would have said yes but she's moving in with her new girlfriend, Candice. You would totally love them; I should introduce you guys sometime, I'm sure they'll come by sometimes."
Misty stared at her dumbly.
"What?" Dawn asked, tilting her head to the side, her obnoxiously blue eyes filled with confusion.
"You're friends with you ex and their partner?"
"Yeah, so? Is that bad?"
Well excuse the fuck out of Misty, but she thought it was perfectly normal that you never speak to the dreaded ex after the break up and sort of erase them from your lives, not keep them around and befriend the very reminder that they're with someone else. Honestly, Dawn was so weird.
"Uh… no?"
"Is it because she's a girl?"
"Hah?!" Misty gaped, "Hell no, I'm not from the dark ages. I just want my exes to burn in hell where they belong, not offer them as many opportunities as possible to be in my shining presence."
Dawn laughed musically, so much so it was annoying how much of an adorable person she was,
"Zoey's really cool, and we're on great terms. She's one of my close friends. No bad blood there, plus I really like Candice, she's super nice and she always has a lot of wine at her house."
"You really are something," Misty commented, not at all convinced that something like that was possible but made a mental note to always invite this Candice to dinner parties, or parties in general.
As she spoke Iris emerged from her room, rubbing her eyes and mumbling about coffee and how she hoped for their sake they hadn't eaten her Lucky Charms. Misty was scared to break the news to the girl that there was no refrigerator in this apartment and therefor Lucky Charms was not possible due to the lack of milk but Iris grabbed a box from the counter, reached in, and stuffed a handful of it in her mouth.
That solved that problem.
"So," She began, voice muffled from the marshmallows and diabetes in her mouth, "What are you guys talking about?"
"Misty is shocked that Zoey, Candice, and I are friends, given our history," Dawn informed her as if Misty was a child.
"Hey, I think it's a little odd, that's all." Misty defended herself, sticking out her lower lip.
Iris snickered, some cereal falling from her mouth as she did so,
"Dawn's relationship with Zoey and Candice is like, the least complicated area of her life."
Wow.
"Alright!" Dawn said suddenly, apparently reading to change the subject, pumping her fists in determination, "Let's whip this apartment into shape!"
Wow she was pumped. Misty was not. Dawn's enthusiasm was scary.
"First I say we need some actual food, not processed Lucky Charms, I can call a few friends and have them help move in some furniture, we're also going to need an actual fridge. Someone's going to have to clean this place up too, it may be empty but… well let's just make sure we don't have any more dead animals in here other than Misty's fish."
"Great plan," Iris replied, "Just give us jobs and we'll be good!"
The two looked at Misty expectantly,
"Yeah, yeah, fine. I'm on board," Misty caved, realizing that she had zero choice in the matter and them giving her the chance was just a courtesy for her to save face.
"Perfect!" Dawn cried happily, clapping her hands together, "Iris, you're in charge of the fridge. Misty, I'll give you a grocery list, please don't stray from it. I'll stay back and clean this place up and give a few friends a call."
It had been a while since Misty had been to an actual grocery store, she was however a regular at her neighborhood convenience store. She supposed there was some sort of irony in that seeing as she was in Uni on a swimming scholarship and she ate like a trucker. That was the life of a student though, no money, crap job, crap food, whatever.
Either way she forgot how… domestic grocery stores were. Cute couples in polo shirts with their 2.4 kids and screaming babies. What a pain in the ass.
She felt so out of place in places like this, what was she doing here buying organic food and expensive tofu. There was clearly something wrong with Dawn, but the girl did hand her two crisp hundred dollar bills to pay for all this. How this girl had that kind of money to throw around, Misty didn't really know, well she did in a way, but not anymore.
As she strolled through the aisles she picked up a few items along the way, her shopping cart wasn't too full, but it was getting there. She was about halfway through the list already, feeling accomplished she smiled to herself.
When she tilted her head up she saw something odd. Extremely odd.
There was a girl browsing the same aisle as her, she looked about the same age as well. Her hair was a light brown colour, and she had big doe like eyes that were very obviously blue.
That wasn't what was weird about her; it was her attire, and what she was doing.
She was wearing a gown, more specifically a beautiful wedding gown complete with a veil and all. The girl looked extremely out of place, like a fish out of water. Her faced looked like she was feeling just that, it was filled with uncertainty and confusion.
Misty watched the girl out of the corner of her eye, extremely curious, and also nosy but she ignored that part.
The girl pulled something from the shelf, a bag of Cheetos. She grinned manically; all previous nervousness erased from her face, then took a handful of Cheetos and stuffed it in her mouth. She ate happily, whipping the excess orange powder from her fingers to her dress and veil.
Holy shit this was abso-fucking-lutely hilarious.
Misty didn't know who this girl but she wanted to travel the world with her, or better yet, rope her into moving into the apartment.
Still watching the beauty that was this precious human, Misty pulled out her phone and called Iris.
"Hey," She greeted, "You are going to love our potential new roommate."
Misty had to admit, she felt like a bit of a spy or a stalker, she'd go with spy because otherwise she'd feel like a freak. Maybe she was, but this girl was going to be her friend. Of that Misty was certain.
She had just finished her Cheetos and paid the cashier for them, her one white dress was now scattered with cheese, even the veil had crumbs everywhere.
Now was her chance, Misty was going to talk to this girl.
Walking in what she thought was a confident strut, but was really quite awkward, she approached the girl.
"Hi!" Misty greeted with a grin.
The girl jumped with a shriek; obviously Misty should not have snuck up behind this girl. Honestly what the hell was she thinking?
"Shit, you scared me," The girl laughed breathlessly, hand on her chest. She wasn't having a heart attack was she? Misty mentally panicked, "Can I help you?"
Suddenly forgetting her purpose Misty sort of just stared at her.
"Uh, why are you staring?"
Misty gave her a disbelieving look, did she really not know?
"Oh. Wedding dress. Grocery store. Got it," The girl realized sheepishly.
"You aren't exactly conspicuous," Misty agreed, "You kinda seem lost… I was going to ask if you needed help… or something…"
More like ambush you and convince an unsuspecting girl into moving into her apartment filled with dead fish.
Yeah, what Misty said sounded much better than the truth.
"Well you're right about me being a little lost," The girl smiled, "I'm not from around here, I'm not really even sure what city I'm actually in if I'm being perfectly honest."
What an airhead.
Misty loved her.
"Well I can help you with that, you happen to be in the beautiful shithole people call Hearthome City."
"Oh… wow… yeah I'm way far from home."
"Do you need directions anywhere, say… a church?"
The girl looked at her quizzically.
"Come on, pull yourself together, you're in a wedding dress," Misty groaned, "Shouldn't you be… I don't know, getting married?"
"Nope."
The grin she wore was sickeningly sweet and slightly terrifying. Misty was sort of expecting an explanation to the odd attire but got none.
"Do you need directions home?"
"Actually I'd really appreciate a motel or something, I'm not planning on going home for some time."
And that's how you catch a bitch.
"Y'know, I'm actually looking for a roommate to stay at my place, it's open to you if you plan on sticking around for a while."
The girl clapped her hands in excitement,
"Yes!"
Misty couldn't help but think that this girl ought to be more cautious. She didn't voice these opinions of course because of two things, desperation, and the fact that Misty was not in fact dangerous and with this girl's naivety she was bound to run into trouble.
"Sweet, I'm Misty."
"May."
Misty was starting to get sick of the stares they were getting, well May was the on actually getting them, but it felt like Misty was too.
That wedding dress was really…
It took up the whole fucking sidewalk and really they just looked like a bunch of idiots.
"You're dress is huge, how are you even walking."
May laughed nervously and lifted the skirt revealing some disgusting ass sneakers.
"I was falling all over the place in those stupid heels so I traded them with a homeless guy on the streets. It was really nice of him."
Was this girl stupid?
Misty didn't realize that she said that out loud.
"Actually I was at the top of my class when I was in University. People were always shocked, I wonder why?"
Because you have the street smarts of a two year old! She wanted to shout this out but decided not to.
"Yeah… I wonder."
"Do you think that girl over there is OK?" May asked with a voice filled with concern.
Misty turned to see a girl, teenager most likely, rummaging through the back of the bakery they past's garbage.
May took it upon herself to approach the girl,
"Hi, my name's May,"
Where was this girl's sense? Didn't her parents tell her not to talk to strangers, must less tell them your name. May as well where a sign with her social security number and banking information.
The young girl's eyes widened fearfully and flinched when she heard saw May. Probably scared to get caught, Misty suspected the Cheeto covered ball gown also had something to do with it.
"Don't worry, I'm not here to stop or bother you, I just wanted to make sure you were OK?"
"Um, yeah I am. Please don't worry about me." The girl replied in a soft feminine voice.
Something in Misty's gut, maybe it was the sliver of humanity she had left, told her to help this girl.
"Hey, I'm Misty," She said as gently as she could (which wasn't really gentle at all), "How old are you?"
"Eighteen."
She was just a baby.
"Do you have a place to stay, somewhere safe?"
The dark blonde shook her head after a bit of hesitation.
Damn Misty's decency. They did only had four rooms… but…
"You can come and stay at our apartment, first few months free of rent. We could help you get a job or whatever? You graduated?"
The girl nodded.
"Do want to come."
After a moment the girl nodded adamantly.
The grin on May's face was absolutely blinding.
"You got a name?"
"Yeah... it's Serena."
And that was how Misty went from three other roommates, to no none whatsoever, to one too many.
Yeah this is my attempt at making a light sort of humorous story. Really I'm not funny at all but whatever...