Redefining Friendships: Part one: Sowing the Seeds.
Author: elgarder
Pairing: Kai/Rei friendship.
Rating: Rated T just to be safe. No violence, sex or bad language.
Summary: A small talk between Kai and Rei sets the seeds for a friendship that may, in time, blossom into something truly special.
Background: Set during episode 46: First Strike, directly after Kai's visit to Boris to hand Black Dranzer back to him, but before the team toast to Kai's return to the Bladebreakers. Contains some mild spoilers for season one.
Genre: Hurt/comfort, friendship. A little bit of angst and lots of fluff.
Warning: Kai may be slightly ooc in this for some of you, although I like to think that there is more to him than he lets on ;)
Disclaimer: I do not own Beyblade, nor, sadly, do I own Kai or Rei. This is a work of fiction, written solely for fun, and no money is being, or ever will be, made from this story.
Author's note: Unbeta'd, any and all mistakes are mine.
Written for, and dedicated to, my best friend black.tinker.bell. You're awesome hun! ;)
The hotel room was quiet, empty, as Kai slowly pushed open the door and stepped inside. It was dark, as he walked silently across the floor; a soft glow of silver filtering through the curtains was the only illumination. He sighed as he reached the second of the two beds, dipping his shoulder as he pulled off the rucksack he was carrying and set it down atop the duvet. He paused as his fingers brushed the buckles; there was nothing of real importance inside; just some clothes, and a few meaningless trinkets he had managed to retrieve before he left the Abbey for the final time. He had had little of value there anyway; sentimentality was hardly an emotion that Boris encouraged in his protégés.
The silence was thick, almost eerily so after the chaos and noise of the day, and for once, it offered Kai little security. The solitude, something he'd actively sought out his entire life, was almost suffocating now and it left him with an unease in the pit of his stomach; unsettled that something he'd relied upon for so long, was no longer a comfort to him.
Today had been a day filled with revelations for Kai; his whole life, everything he had been brought up to believe, had been turned upon its head and it had shaken him, more than he would ever let on.
Almost absently, his fingers fell away from the bag, falling to the soft fabric of the duvet and lingering there for a moment. He was tired, but he knew he would find little rest at the moment. His mind was too active, his thoughts all twisted up like his stomach and tangled around each other. He didn't know where to begin. He knew he should seek out the others, they had to be worried and unsettled too, but right now, he knew he had no answers to the questions they were bound to ask. How could he answer their's? When he couldn't even answer his own. It wouldn't be fair, to approach them when he could offer no explanations, no satisfactory excuses for his betrayal.
With a soft sigh, he pulled back, shaking his head sadly as he looked over to the window. Slowly, he walked across to it, pulling open the curtains and staring out into the night sky.
He'd let himself to be used again. Allowed Boris to treat him like a pawn in his twisted games and wield him as he saw fit for his own end. He should have never gone back to the abbey. The return of Black Dranzer, and his memories with it, had corrupted his own desire to be the best again, as it had done when he was younger. He was angry with himself; his own greed had blinded him to the truth and it had taken his team to show him what he was missing.
It was the actions of his team that had stunned him the most. Even after everything he'd said, everything he'd done, they still invited him back, something he was sure he didn't deserve.
They'd given him the courage to do what was right, to confront Boris and give him back the black bit-beast. He couldn't understand their actions. Back at the Abbey, betrayal was not stood for; it was punished fiercely. But they had actually forgiven him, even after he had left them for Black Dranzer, and the ghost of power it had offered him.
In the end, it had all been for nothing; his team, they were stronger than the dark bit-beast; together they had defeated it, defeated Kai. Together with his Dranzer. Slowly, he reached down into his pocket; his fist tightening around his blade as he found it. He pulled it out, holding it firmly in his grasp as he looked at it. Dranzer, another betrayal, and one he was not sure would be forgiven as easily as that of his team. He'd prove to her though, that he was worthy of her trust again.
So lost in his thoughts was he that he almost missed the gentle creaking of the door as it opened. He glanced around, unsurprised and maybe even a little relieved to see Rei standing in the doorway.
"Tyson wanted to come up. I put him off. I didn't think you'd want to deal with him," Rei offered as explanation as Kai looked at him.
Kai nodded silently, gratitude tugging the corners of his mouth upwards, just a little. "Thank you."
"I'm not disturbing you am I?" Rei asked, and Kai felt an odd stab of guilt at the uncertainty clouding Rei's voice.
He shook his head, glancing over at the second of the two beds and shrugging. "It's your room, too." He returned his gaze to the window.
"That doesn't matter. I could share with the others if…"
Kai interrupted him, shaking his head and whispering quietly that it was okay. "You don't have to stay away."
"I thought you might like some time to think." So like Rei, always thinking about others.
"Thank you," Kai whispered again, his words quiet, hushed, something in the atmosphere called for it, "but I'm alright."
"How did it go? Your meeting with Boris?" Rei asked softly. The door creaked again and Kai didn't have to look around again to know that Rei had closed it and stepped further into the room. He shrugged.
"It's over, if that's what you're asking. Black Dranzer has gone. I'm never going back there."
"That wasn't what I meant. How are you?"
"I told you; I'm fine." The words were maybe a little harsher that he'd intended them to be, but he was walking a fine line. Unfamiliar emotions were bubbling away under his skin, threatening, and he didn't know how to deal with them. He was afraid, that if Rei pushed it, he wouldn't have any defences left to hold the onslaught at bay.
Soft feet padded across the floor and he waited for Rei to approach him, but he didn't. Bedsprings creaked softly and he turned around, eyes finding Rei who was sitting on the other bed, regarding him carefully. He shied away from the prying gaze, turning back to the window and lifting his hand, placing it on the pane; the glass felt cool, and oddly soothing beneath his palm.
"We were worried about you," Rei started softly, "I was."
"You don't have to be." Again, his reply was curt, but he knew of no other way to be.
"Anything you say you know, won't leave this room." Rei left the offer open, not pushing any further to Kai's relief. Kai kept silent and Rei sighed. "You don't have to do this all the time. Close yourself away. There are people who care about you. Friends who want to help."
He couldn't help himself as he wondered aloud, "Friends?" The word felt foreign on his tongue.
"Yeah. Friends. You had friends at the Abbey, right?"
Kai barely suppressed a shiver at the mention of his childhood home. Rei's question floored him, friends at the Abbey? No, that place was not somewhere to have friends. You had competitors, you had enemies, sometimes you had people to be used to get what you want, but you didn't have friends. He shook his head, pressing his hand more firmly against the glass, his back stiffening in defence of the sympathy he expected to receive next. He didn't want it and he didn't need it, but he expected the kind-hearted neko to offer it to him all the same.
"Why not?" Once again, the softly uttered question surprised him, shocking him with its simplicity and its pertinence.
"What do you mean?" He was avoiding the question, he knew that. But he had no idea how to answer it.
"I mean, why didn't you have friends at the Abbey? There must have been other people there, kids your age. So why didn't you befriend any of them?"
"Friends make you weak," his response was conditioned, and he couldn't help it. He looked down, aware of how his words must have sounded after everything he'd done. Everything they'd done.
"You still don't get it, do you?" Rei sounded disappointed and Kai felt a little tug inside his chest. He didn't need to see Rei's face, to know his expression was sad. "Even after everything that happened today. I thought you were finally getting it."
Kai swallowed, taking a breath to steady himself. "Getting what?" He was surprised at the strength in his voice. He didn't feel strong at all.
He heard Rei sigh. "Everything we've done," Rei began, voice quiet but sure, "we've done because we're a team. Because we have each other. Not in spite of it. We make each other stronger Kai. You never stood a chance against us. As good as you are, and even with Black Dranzer, you can't compete with us when we stand together. But we don't want to compete against you, we want you to compete with us, as a team."
"Why?"
"Why do we want you back? Because we work better together. And because you're a part of us." Kai wasn't sure, but something inside him was telling him that Rei wasn't just talking about Beyblading.
"I don't understand." It was probably the first honest thing he had really said about his feelings to Rei since the younger boy had come into the room.
"We don't want to be your enemy Kai. And we're not now that you've given Black Dranzer back and left the Abbey. But we're not really friends either. You won't let anybody help you, and that's not what being a team is all about. Friends are supposed to support each other. That's what makes our team so strong, because we're friends, because we give each other a reason to fight. And it's not because of fear, or the need to win, it's love and loyalty."
Kai blinked slowly, his hand slipping down the window slightly as he let Rei's words wash over him. Love? Loyalty? He had never really known either in his life. Yes, he had been loyal to his Grandfather, and to Boris, but not for the reasons Rei had stated. He had been loyal because he had had to be, because he was too afraid of the consequences should he be anything less. And because he had to be the best, that's what he had been brought up the believe. That you had to be the best, no matter what the cost, to yourself or to those around you.
Nothing else mattered, except winning.
And he'd almost paid the ultimate price for that. The cost had almost been too great. In his thirst for power, he'd almost lost his life. If it hadn't been for his team mates, his friends, the ones he had hurt so much with his betrayal, he would have drowned out there on the frozen lake.
Maybe they should have let him.
"We want you to be a part of that Kai," Rei continued and Kai's hand slipped from the glass completely, dropping to his side as he closed his eyes. There was a stinging behind his eyelids that he hadn't felt in years and he blinked rapidly. He felt like he was being bared open, like the layers were being stripped away from him without his consent and out of his control. All the barriers and the defences he had so carefully constructed around himself were being slowly broken down and he didn't know if he was ready to confront what lay beneath.
"I… I don't know what to say," he admitted hoarsely; he was floundering.
"Nobody expects you to change overnight, Kai. That place… I know it's hard for you to trust because of Boris, and your Grandfather…"
"You have no idea, Rei. No idea what it was like," for once, his tone wasn't clipped and accusing, but rather, soft and somewhat yearning. He barely recognised his own voice.
"I know Kai," Rei whispered but didn't press. Kai was grateful for that, he was feeling all too raw at the moment and Rei seemed to understand that somehow. His shoulders sagged as a weariness that wasn't purely physical settled over him.
"Maybe you should get some sleep?" Rei suggested, as if sensing what he was feeling. "You must be shattered after the day you've had." It was somewhat of an understatement; he had never felt this tired before in his life. He nodded, more to himself than to Rei.
"We'll still be here in the morning," Rei reassured him. Yes, he was finally beginning to realise that. "We can talk more then."
"The others?" Kai left the actual question unasked, although he knew Rei would understand.
"Feel the same way I do," Rei answered, with a reasurring smile.
"What about you?" Kai asked, turning around as Rei stood up. "What are you going to do now?"
Rei smiled wryly. "I have to go check on the others, make sure they're not causing trouble again." Kai couldn't help but smile at that. "Then I'll come to bed in a bit. I'll be quiet, so I won't disturb you."
"You don't have to be."
Rei shrugged, but smiled at him kindly as he smoothed down his clothes. "Its okay."
Kai watched as Rei turned and silently began to walk towards the door. "Rei?" He called out as Rei's hand gripped the handle ready to open it, surprising even himself. Rei turned to look at him, his expression curious. "Thank you." Rei smiled, nodding his head, his eyes lighting up a little.
"You're welcome." Was all Rei said before he opened the door and walked out, leaving Kai, alone once more. Except this time, he didn't feel quite as lonely.
He turned once more to the window, his eyes scanning the night sky as he looked out at the stars. Rei's words were echoing through his mind now, filtering through his confusion and leaving a warmth in their wake.
It was true, he thought, friendship did make you stronger. He accepted that now. Friendship born of love and loyalty truly was the greatest power on earth.
But with that thought, came the realisation of why he was so scared. If your friends could make you, they could also break you. Hand in hand with friendship, there had to be trust. Trust that your friends wouldn't let you down. That they would always be there for you. He'd never trusted easily, never had someone worthy of putting his faith in. But Rei and the others… He was beginning to understand, that they were worthy of it, that they would never let him fall.
He wasn't sure that he was ready for the responsibility that friendship brought with it though. Wasn't sure if he was deserving of it.
He hoped he was.
Because he had no choice now. He had glimpsed the true power of friendship and he was afraid to let that go.
Slowly, he closed his eyes, not stopping this time, the tear that trickled down his face. It was not a tear of of sadness though, but of relief and hope.
For Rei had sown the first seeds of friendship, and it was up to him now, to nurture them, and help them grow.
Author's note: Ugh… Okay, there you have it, in all its sentimentality and its sappiness! I hope you enjoyed it and that you didn't think Kai was too out of character. I'd love to know what you thought. I'm actually quite pleased with how this turned out and I'm excited about this series in general. I hope to have the next instalment out reasonably quickly… Reviews always help with my motivation though ;)
This is the first time I've written anything in this fandom, so please be gentle! Although constructive criticism is always welcomed.
Once again, for Tink, my best friend, my other half and my motivation, love you!