Hey! It's been a while since I've written anything and even longer since I've posted, unfortunately, but I figured I would put this up. It is pretty random, but hopefully someone will find this amusing!
This can't be normal.
Or healthy.
She knows this, but really, she has no idea what to do about it.
It all started not long ago, at the activities fair she had only attended to get away from her father.
As she was glancing around, mostly uninterested, a voice had called out to her and asked her to join some sort of singing group. The voice belonged to a girl with bright, beautiful blue eyes, red hair, and an amazing smile.
After walking away, somehow maintaining her dignity and aloofness, her mind went back to the redhead.
And over the next few days, her thoughts kept going back to her at the strangest of times.
She found herself wondering about the girl's name, her major, even the silly singing group she had asked her to join.
After about a week, she saw the girl again from a distance, by chance. The other girl didn't notice her as she watched for a moment before running a hand through her brown hair, sighing to herself in exasperation and turning to walk the other way.
Later that night, she came to the unsettling revelation that she found the redhead attractive.
That gave her pause.
Sure, she was aware that some girls were more attractive than others. She could pick out a few from a class that would be considered pretty or attractive to most people. But was this the same thing, or was girl attractive to her?
Did she find this girl attractive to her personally?
The thought kept her tossing and turning the rest of the night.
By morning, she had decided that she was being ridiculous and would just stop thinking about her.
Then, things got more complicated.
She was heading to the awful, communal shower, humming to herself. It was just like any other day.
Until she began singing Titanium and someone pulled back her shower curtain and she was naked and there were those bright blue eyes and that ridiculously attractive girl standing right in front of her. And she was naked also.
For a minute there, she thought she was going to die. Of embarrassment or shock or… something, but she survived.
And the other girl had made her sing. Had told her the song was her lady jam and oh my God she was not okay with any of this.
But they had sounded amazing singing together; even she couldn't deny herself that truth.
During the whole shower incident, which the brunette had now taken to referring to it as in her head, she had tried not to look at the redhead much. She was actually quite proud to say that she'd mostly succeeded. But the glimpses she had caught… damn.
She tried not to dwell on that too much.
People admired art, which was sometimes of other people naked, right? So what's wrong with that, if she found it hard not to stare?
The brunette threw herself into music, making mixes of songs to try to get her mind off of the other girl. Her aspirations to be a DJ helped to focus her slightly, but the tracks she chose all seemed to suspiciously remind her of a certain redhead.
And then, she had made what would likely end up being the stupidest decision of her life.
She auditioned for the girl's lame singing group, the Bellas.
And the smile that made those beautiful blue eyes shine nearly caused her to forget to leave after she was done.
Since that day, she had admitted to herself that she found the girl attractive. It had only happened once before, which was weird.
She had been forced to watch a movie, and she found herself enthralled by one of the female characters. The young DJ had shrugged it off, figuring that girls got crushes on celebrities of both genders. Because they did, right?
But this was different, and much more difficult to overlook.
Chloe.
That was the girl's name. She was a real person, not a fictional character. And unlike even the actress who played the (also redheaded) character, she was accessible and talked to her and somehow found her way into her world.
So, she was most likely attracted to Chloe. But she convinced herself that it was nothing but a silly crush and that it would just go away given a little time.
Even possibly admitting to this brought up some other questions she really wasn't ready to deal with. The brunette had always believed herself to be straight. She had never even seriously questioned it before. There were a few guys she had found attractive over the years, but honestly she was pretty picky when it came to attraction.
Over the next few days, she found herself looking at guys and girls differently. When she actually went to class, she would discretely look around. Did she find that guy attractive? That girl? Usually she found her answer was 'no, not to her personally', but when her maybes started to include both genders, she stopped playing the silly game.
When the Bellas began to practice, it got worse. But she couldn't honestly say she minded. She got to spend time with the redhead, and the rest of the strange girls who had made the cut.
After the first practice, she decided that she really wanted to be friends with Chloe and get to know her, regardless of her bizarre attraction to the girl. Chloe seemed nice, interesting, and easy to talk to. And the brunette didn't really have many friends.
So one day she made a comment to Chloe after practice, lightly complimenting how she was doing with the choreography.
And to her surprise, Chloe had responded rather well. Somehow she had ended up giving the older girl her number, and as she was walking away, still trying to process what exactly had happened, she received a text from a number not in her contacts.
Hey Beca this is Chloe from the Bellas! Good idea exchanging numbers! You did great today, too! =)
The freshman blinked at the screen a few times, rereading the message at least twice, before adding the number to her contacts.
Shortly after exchanging numbers, they ended up having a surprisingly decent conversation that had Beca smiling and waiting impatiently for a reply. Something she hadn't done in quite a while.
Then somehow they had planned to meet up for coffee. And Beca had tried on several different outfits and kept spazzing about the whole thing in general. She didn't normally do this, this meeting up with people to talk thing. But she found that she really wanted to.
And if she was being honest, she was shocked that the redhead had been the one to ask to meet up when she had been agonizing over how to casually suggest it herself.
Lately, her darker blue eyes have been straying toward Chloe more and more during practice. She tries to stop it, but no one seems to notice, anyway. The looking doesn't bother her so much.
It's the thinking that she's sure is going to drive her insane.
She finds herself thinking of Chloe at the most random times. In the middle of doing her homework, she'll suddenly have the urge to text Chloe or wonder what it'd be like doing their homework together, in the same room.
Working on her mixes, a time when she's normally able to block other things out well, her mind drifts to bright blue eyes.
When she sees things, silly everyday things like the decorations in a room, she finds herself wondering if Chloe would like them or what she'd say about them. Then, she wonders what it would be like to paint a room with Chloe, or decorate it together. And that is far too domestic and relationship-like and she stops that train of thought rather quickly.
The brunette wonders what doing a lot of things would be like with the redhead. When she takes a quick trip to the store on campus or goes for a walk or makes mixes or lays around listening to music. It's worrying, really.
When a boy she works with, Jesse, stands close next to her, she wonders briefly what it would be like to be so close to Chloe. A second later she jerks back from the boy, preserving her personal space.
It will go away.
She's convinced it's just a passing curiosity. Maybe a crush, even, but that seems crazy. She doesn't even know the redhead that well. So she will try to act normal and become friends with the girl with bright blue eyes, because that would be nice, silly crush or not.
Sometimes it is difficult to act normal, though, because she's Beca and she's socially awkward and gets embarrassed easily and loses her cool even easier around Chloe.
But she can handle it.
More often than not, Beca now spends her time trying to occupy herself thoroughly enough so that she won't think of Chloe, which is actually very difficult to do.
One day after stacking CDs at the station, when she can't get the redhead off her mind, she even resorts to doing her homework ahead of time, something that Beca just doesn't do. And when she's done, she rips apart her room and starts cleaning.
Yeah, she's pretty sure she has a problem.
But she has no idea what to do about it.