The Second Best Bed
Rating: PG-13
Summary: A fan fic for the brave, to be taken tongue in cheek
Pairing: To be discovered...
Disclaimers: These characters aren't mine they belong to Aaron Sorkin etc.
Notes: This is our first cooperative fan-fiction, and it is in the form of a screenplay. This will be posted in five parts (Teaser, Act 1....)
Any helpful insights would be greatly appreciated. We hope that you enjoy it. Also, the original teaser has been edited into this version, so do not read act one update until you've read the edited teaser. Thank you. Also...if things get nasty, stick with it until the end. We promise you won't be disappointed. (Thanks to all old reviews, we hope you'll find this story better in its entirety)
SPECIAL SPECIAL SPECIAL NOTICE: For those who care LANCE ARMSTRONG is coming very close to winning his 6Th TOUR De FRANCE so watch the Cyclysm take place on OLN.
- This is a public service announcement from Donna'slittlebuddy
HeHe
THE WEST WING
"The Second Best Bed"
(formally "An Epic of Ethics")
Written by
Bartlegg & Donna'sLittleBuddy
"The Second Best Bed"
TEASER
FADE IN:
INT. LEO'S OFFICE--NIGHT
LEO sits at his desk, rubbing his head and eyes from exhaustion. He eyes a drawer, turns suddenly to look around, and then eyes the drawer again. He opens it and removes pill bottle. With a look of deep guilt and almost robotic movements, he swallows a couple of them.
LEO
(To himself)
No more. No more...I promise
Camera spans to door of Oval office, which is now open, and ABIGAIL BARTLET stands triumphantly.
ABBY
Leo Leo Leo. Were you going to have a party? Am I invited?
LEO
Ma'am, please leave me alone.
ABBEY
I don't think so, buddy.
ABBEY saunters half romantically and half drunkenly over to LEO's desk. She sits on top of it, pushing paperwork to the side with a jolt.
LEO
Not tonight, Mrs. Bartlet. Yesterday, that was, that was
weak of me.
ABBEY
Oh, Leopold. Have you got that wrong.
CUT TO: INT. JOSH'S OFFICE – SAME TIME
JOSH is fiddling with the air conditioner, back to the door. It's still very dark out, end of workday.
JOSH
(To himself)
Righty Tighty, Lefty Lucy... DONNA!
He hears the door open, his back still facing it.
JOSH
It's a conspiracy. First, the Lord of the Flies posse on
LemonLyman swore to make my life a living hell today after
one of them apparently spotted me on the street and called
my name and I didn't answer back...I know I know...I shouldn't
even be checking that thing, but its almost illegal the
things they are talking about to get me back...
Camera cuts to the wide eyed face of Toby, standing in Josh's doorway. He remains silent.
Anyway, to make a long story short, I think they are gonna
throw rocks at my office, I know I know, there's a fence,
but somehow they messed with my air conditioner by sending
cyber waves through the internet or something there's some
real geeky ones that could probably hack right into the
white house too. Oh yeah, I need a monkey...a monkey wrench
thingy to fix this...
JOSH turns around
TOBY!
TOBY
Are you sure they didn't hit you with their rocks?
JOSH
Toby...Toby, uh, did you need anything?
TOBY
Yeah, but it can wait. I don't want the cyber waves to distract you
Or anything....
TOBY grins evilly and walks out, and then turns back for a second...
TOBY
Oh yeah, Josh?
JOSH
What?
TOBY
How does Donna ever know what the heck your talking
about?
JOSH smirks and changes the subject
JOSH
I have a meeting with Dory tomorrow
TOBY
Wait...the fish?
JOSH
No...Ellen. I'm going on the Ellen DeGenerous show. She
Invited me! It shows how much the people love me.
TOBY
Yeah...just don't say anything to piss off the gays
JOSH
Uh...why?
TOBY
Ellen's gay Josh, so watch your mouth
JOSH
Really?! Oh, I was hoping for...
TOBY
just don't do anything to piss them off.
JOSH
The gays? Cause Toby I got to tell you I think we might
have already done that one.
TOBY
No Josh, Ellen. I just love that woman.
TOBY leaves and JOSH turns to fiddle with the air conditioner as it makes a loud noise, and then begins to squeak loudly as we:
CUT TO
INT. BARTLET KITCHEN—SAME NIGHT
A loud squeaking is heard as BARTLET turns off the tea kettle and pours it into his cup. He grimaces as he begins to sip when ABBEY walks in.
ABBEY
Too hot for you?
BARTLET
Where've you been Abigail?
ABBEY
Oh, here and there. Maybe a little more there than here.
BARTLET
What the hell does that mean?
ABBEY
I'll let you think about it.
JED
Honey, I was wondering if...
ABBEY
Don't you honey me...don't call me sweetheart. Jed, I need a
Break. And that means you don't get any more of my cider.
BARTLET
No more cider? How long?
ABBEY
As long as it takes, Mr. President.
ABBEY exits
BARTLET gives a saddened stare. As he stands limply, his tea cup tips and a stream of tea falls onto the floor. This finally breaks it, and with a grunt he slams the cup to the tile floor, where it shatters with a loud...
SMASH CUT TO:
MAIN TITLES
Rating: PG-13
Summary: A fan fic for the brave, to be taken tongue in cheek
Pairing: To be discovered...
Disclaimers: These characters aren't mine they belong to Aaron Sorkin etc.
Notes: This is our first cooperative fan-fiction, and it is in the form of a screenplay. This will be posted in five parts (Teaser, Act 1....)
Any helpful insights would be greatly appreciated. We hope that you enjoy it. Also, the original teaser has been edited into this version, so do not read act one update until you've read the edited teaser. Thank you. Also...if things get nasty, stick with it until the end. We promise you won't be disappointed. (Thanks to all old reviews, we hope you'll find this story better in its entirety)
SPECIAL SPECIAL SPECIAL NOTICE: For those who care LANCE ARMSTRONG is coming very close to winning his 6Th TOUR De FRANCE so watch the Cyclysm take place on OLN.
- This is a public service announcement from Donna'slittlebuddy
HeHe
THE WEST WING
"The Second Best Bed"
(formally "An Epic of Ethics")
Written by
Bartlegg & Donna'sLittleBuddy
"The Second Best Bed"
TEASER
FADE IN:
INT. LEO'S OFFICE--NIGHT
LEO sits at his desk, rubbing his head and eyes from exhaustion. He eyes a drawer, turns suddenly to look around, and then eyes the drawer again. He opens it and removes pill bottle. With a look of deep guilt and almost robotic movements, he swallows a couple of them.
LEO
(To himself)
No more. No more...I promise
Camera spans to door of Oval office, which is now open, and ABIGAIL BARTLET stands triumphantly.
ABBY
Leo Leo Leo. Were you going to have a party? Am I invited?
LEO
Ma'am, please leave me alone.
ABBEY
I don't think so, buddy.
ABBEY saunters half romantically and half drunkenly over to LEO's desk. She sits on top of it, pushing paperwork to the side with a jolt.
LEO
Not tonight, Mrs. Bartlet. Yesterday, that was, that was
weak of me.
ABBEY
Oh, Leopold. Have you got that wrong.
CUT TO: INT. JOSH'S OFFICE – SAME TIME
JOSH is fiddling with the air conditioner, back to the door. It's still very dark out, end of workday.
JOSH
(To himself)
Righty Tighty, Lefty Lucy... DONNA!
He hears the door open, his back still facing it.
JOSH
It's a conspiracy. First, the Lord of the Flies posse on
LemonLyman swore to make my life a living hell today after
one of them apparently spotted me on the street and called
my name and I didn't answer back...I know I know...I shouldn't
even be checking that thing, but its almost illegal the
things they are talking about to get me back...
Camera cuts to the wide eyed face of Toby, standing in Josh's doorway. He remains silent.
Anyway, to make a long story short, I think they are gonna
throw rocks at my office, I know I know, there's a fence,
but somehow they messed with my air conditioner by sending
cyber waves through the internet or something there's some
real geeky ones that could probably hack right into the
white house too. Oh yeah, I need a monkey...a monkey wrench
thingy to fix this...
JOSH turns around
TOBY!
TOBY
Are you sure they didn't hit you with their rocks?
JOSH
Toby...Toby, uh, did you need anything?
TOBY
Yeah, but it can wait. I don't want the cyber waves to distract you
Or anything....
TOBY grins evilly and walks out, and then turns back for a second...
TOBY
Oh yeah, Josh?
JOSH
What?
TOBY
How does Donna ever know what the heck your talking
about?
JOSH smirks and changes the subject
JOSH
I have a meeting with Dory tomorrow
TOBY
Wait...the fish?
JOSH
No...Ellen. I'm going on the Ellen DeGenerous show. She
Invited me! It shows how much the people love me.
TOBY
Yeah...just don't say anything to piss off the gays
JOSH
Uh...why?
TOBY
Ellen's gay Josh, so watch your mouth
JOSH
Really?! Oh, I was hoping for...
TOBY
just don't do anything to piss them off.
JOSH
The gays? Cause Toby I got to tell you I think we might
have already done that one.
TOBY
No Josh, Ellen. I just love that woman.
TOBY leaves and JOSH turns to fiddle with the air conditioner as it makes a loud noise, and then begins to squeak loudly as we:
CUT TO
INT. BARTLET KITCHEN—SAME NIGHT
A loud squeaking is heard as BARTLET turns off the tea kettle and pours it into his cup. He grimaces as he begins to sip when ABBEY walks in.
ABBEY
Too hot for you?
BARTLET
Where've you been Abigail?
ABBEY
Oh, here and there. Maybe a little more there than here.
BARTLET
What the hell does that mean?
ABBEY
I'll let you think about it.
JED
Honey, I was wondering if...
ABBEY
Don't you honey me...don't call me sweetheart. Jed, I need a
Break. And that means you don't get any more of my cider.
BARTLET
No more cider? How long?
ABBEY
As long as it takes, Mr. President.
ABBEY exits
BARTLET gives a saddened stare. As he stands limply, his tea cup tips and a stream of tea falls onto the floor. This finally breaks it, and with a grunt he slams the cup to the tile floor, where it shatters with a loud...
SMASH CUT TO:
MAIN TITLES