Losing My Humanity
by Jamie Carlson
Summary: Do the Youma Generals really seem THAT inhuman? How can they truly be? Zoicite, the handsome, feminine blonde and Kunzite, the equally handsome frost-haired Generals have a very loving relationship. Perhaps, there are more to the Youma than meet the eye. Perhaps, love CAN grow in the deepest darkness of the Dark Kingdom.... Perhaps.... (Pairings: Jadeite/???, Zoicite/Kunzite)
Rating: PG
Completion: Alpha Version Complete
Chapters: Five
Pages: Approx. 20 (total)
Scene One - A Stroll in the Darkened Passageway
Zoicite finished finger-brushing his long golden curls and secured them with a black satin ribbon. He tossed his hair behind his back, then placed one hand on his hip, walking in comfortable silence with his companion. His blue-green eyes fixed their contented gaze on the dark, crooked path they walked.
Zoicite was not comfortable around many people. Most of the people, or creatures rather, in the Dark Kingdom were untrustworthy. Truthfully, most could barely hold a coherent conversation; they were created for battle and energy gathering, not partaking in philosophical discussions. He sighed, brushing imaginary dust off of the sleeve of his dark, blue-gray uniform, admiring the green satin piping at his wrist. The dim lighting gave it a silky sheen.
Mistaking his sigh to be of discontent of their walk, his companion stopped.
"Is there something wrong, Zoicite?"
Zoicite paused, blinking, then turned his attention to his companion and friend.
"Ah, of course not. I was just thinking of how appreciative I am that I can talk to someone who is capable of sentient thought, my dear Keito-kun."
The girl before him smiled wanly. Keito was her human name. She was surprised she remembered it, and only Zoicite was permitted to use it, although she couldn't very well stop her other superiors. However, none of them had referred to her by anything else, and this suited her fine.
Her name in the Dark Kingdom was Andradite. She wore a uniform much like Zoicite's to cover her lithe body, tighter in the chest as was common with females in the Dark Kingdom. The linings of her uniform were a dull red and very plain, signifying her as nothing more than a Youma General-in-Training, or Lesser with a capital L. Someday in the far future she would replace Nephrite - assuming she survived that long. Assuming the Dark Kingdom survived that long.
Andradite's hair was ruby-red, straight, and pulled back from her face with a simple matte-black headband. Her golden-brown eyes and pale skin could be called beautiful, but her eyes shone unnaturally and her skin appeared ashen in the uneven lighting of the Dark Kingdom. She didn't remember what she had looked like as a member of the Court of the Earth. Queen Beryl told each Lesser who or what they had been before they became Youma - she had confirmed that Andradite was one of the fortunate ones who were once human. As Keito, she had been some lesser Noble. She was a Lesser both in her past and in her present.
"Zoicite, really, you have Kunzite. And there are other Lesser Youma who are capable of carrying conversation. Not all of them are mindless." Zoicite grinned.
"No, just most!" He laughed, and threw an arm companionably around her slim shoulders. They began walking again, Andradite relaxing slightly and allowing herself a small smile. "But, you know..." - and the girl's smile faded at the thoughtful tone in his voice - "It doesn't seem fair. That you're so unhappy, I mean. I'm happy with Kunzi-kun. And... I know that you're interested in Jadeite...."
"Jadeite isn't exactly the kind of person who is open to a relationship, Zoi," Andradite said, her voice tight. "He supposedly loved Tethys, and look what happened to her...."
"Well, that wasn't Jade-chan's doing -"
"Getting her banished from the Dark Kingdom's court was."
"- and it's not like he didn't care for the girl. -"
"'He didn't exactly act like he was all that fond of her."
" - Things just... didn't work out," Zoicite finished lamely.
"And they wouldn't work out for me, either, Zoicite." Andradite shook her head slowly. "The only reason anyone tolerates the relationship you have with Kunzite is because you are two of our Queen's best Generals, and no one knows of our friendship but the Four Generals, and perhaps her Majesty, and I am nothing in her eyes. To her, a friendship to keep one of her Four Elite Generals happy and productive is tolerable."
"Oh, honestly." Zoicite rolled his eyes upward and sighed melodramatically. Andradite's response was a sad smile, her eyes drooping down to look forlornly at the floor they stood on.
"You know how harsh it is for us Lessers, Zoicite. I may not survive very long here anyway - few of us who are in training to become replacement generals do."
To train to become a replacement Youma General was to mean you had the competence required to take active command; not a lot of Youma in the Dark Kingdom could even say that much for themselves. Andradite was one of the few out of the entire group of nearly one hundred Lessers (with a capital L) that were left alive who even had some personal skill or power, let alone a definable personality.
Zoicite stopped and turned her to face him. He stooped a little, placing his forehead against hers.
"Really, child. You think with too much of a pessimistic edge. Try to be more optimistic, hmm? Besides, you have survived the long sleep and the wakening, and the past fourteen years of being alive again. And I'll talk to Jadeite - no, don't protest. I'll simply ask him if any of the Lessers were appealing to him. It's a normal question the Generals ask each other. Just no one has asked Jadeite in a while, and it is high time they did.
"And besides," Zoicite said, with a wide grin. "Even if he isn't into a 'relationship', he may be interested in ah... relieving some of the tensions that come with being in charge of Energy Gathering."
Sighing in annoyance at Zoicite's insinuation, Andradite stepped back.
"Don't be so crude."
"The Senshi are such pests! He must be under a lot of pressure to be rid of them. There are three now, I hear. What do you think of them?"
Zoicite's sudden change of subject didn't phase Andradite – she had become quite used to it.
Andradite shrugged. "They're just doing their job. To them, we are the threat."
Zoicite arched his eyebrows. "And I wonder if they say the same about us."
Andradite smiled.
"I wouldn't be surprised." She turned as a fellow Lesser rounded the bend ahead and spotted her. Dressed in a uniform identical to Andradite's save for the dull blue piping, the girl was very short, very plain and bore an extremely bored expression. Her shoulder-length black hair was puffy but very bland, along with the rest of her.
"Excuse the interruption Lord Zoicite, but I have a message for Lesser Andradite. Lesser Andradite, Lord Jadeite summons you. He demands to know why his Energy Collection Crystal isn't returning enough energy."
Andradite bowed to the messenger. "Thank you Lesser Dravite. I will report to Lord Jadeite immediately."
Zoicite waved a hand at Lesser Dravite in dismissal. "Return to your studies with Lord Kunzite."
Dravite bowed, and retreated.
Andradite bowed to Zoicite. "And here I take my leave." She turned on her heel, and began the walk to Jadeite's chambers.
As he watched her go, Zoicite's eyes filled with sadness.
"There will be no happiness in this dark place for her. I still feel the dark touch of coldness creep within me, turning what was once companionable like for my fellow Generals into a growing dislike that, in turn, will soon turn to hatred. Eventually, I will even be cold in emotion towards poor Keito... and will forget her name. And so, in the end, will she."
~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~
Andradite walked quickly. She knew that to keep Lord Jadeite waiting would be to suffer his wrath. Within a few minutes she was standing outside his door, back straight and a down-to-business expression on her face. She raised one hand, knocked three times in rapid succession, then placed both hands behind her back and planted her feet firmly on the stone-and-crystal corridor beneath her.
The door swung inward, and the annoyed form of Lord Jadeite stood before her. He frowned.
"At least you were quick to arrive. That's more than I can say for most Lessers. Enter." He turned his back and strode to the center of his vast, dark chamber. Andradite followed obediently.
Jadeite gestured to a large, round, black crystal ball floating above a stone pedestal. Within the very center of the orb, bluish-white energy swirled lazily.
"It isn't returning all of the energy I have collected and contained within it. The damned thing releases most of it when the Bonded Youma dies."
Andradite leaned forward to inspect the crystal ball. The down-to-business expression fell from her face and was replaced with a small amount of triumph.
"Ah! You are using an Absorption Crystal. Those return less than half of the energy gathered - they steal most of it for themselves, and eventually self-destruct." Andradite lifted the crystal ball from its pedestal. "You want to use a gathering crystal rather than an absorbing one. Try either a Whisper Crystal or a Reaper Crystal.
"The Whisper Crystal uses far less energy to keep itself 'alive', and gathers far more, but the transferal process is a bit more complicated and time-consuming. The Reaper Crystal gathers a little less energy than the Whisper Crystal to stay 'alive' and transfers directly to the specified target, but gathers less in a similar amount of time. I'd say, approximately seventy-five percent of the total energy that would be gathered from the Whisper Crystal."
When she realized that Jadeite was staring at her, she blushed, coughed, and replaced the Absorption Crystal.
"The, ah, decision is your own. I apologize for speaking without asking permission first." I've been spending too much time in Zoicite's company, she thought, shame-faced.
"It's quite all right. That information was actually very helpful. You could very well have saved my life." Jadeite placed a hand on the Absorption Crystal. "Greedy thing. It was delivering less than fifteen percent of the energy gathered to Queen Metallia, and this was angering Beryl-sama greatly. As if the Senshi weren't problematic enough. Before I thought the loss of energy was due to the death of the Youma involved...." He looked sidelong to Andradite with a raised brow, permitting her to correct him, his voice trailing into an inquiry.
"Oh, no. Loss of the gatherer would only halt incoming energy, Lord Jadeite. The only loss is about point five percent per human reaped – not a lot in comparison to how much a human can be drained of before they become useless." Andradite nodded to the Crystal, whose inner light had dimmed, as if it knew its ploy had been discovered. "That is your true cause of mass energy loss."
Jadeite turned to face her. He looked at her with a mild amount of respect. "Your knowledge concerning Crystals is admirable, Lesser Andradite. Your peers were correct when they said you have the aptitude to replace Nephrite when his time as a General ends."
Andradite blushed, looking into the now-suppressed light of the Absorption Crystal. "It was my most vital skill when still Human, I believe. I seem to have an affinity with crystals."
There was a brief silence, and then Jadeite shifted his weight a little.
"Turn to face me, please." Andradite complied, and tried not to squirm under his scrutiny. "Are you the Lesser who has a bond of friendship with the General Zoicite?" he asked. Andradite nodded once. "Ah. I thought I recognized the name. Zoicite speaks favorably about you." Silence from Andradite. "Have you nothing to say?"
"Do you require me to support Lord Zoicite, or to contradict his words with my own? Or are you expecting me to ask you what he said, my Lord?" Andradite said calmly. She jumped a little when Jadeite laughed - it wasn't an unpleasant sound, she simply wasn't expecting it.
"Hm-hm. Dismissed for now, Lesser Andradite. You may go."
Andradite stepped back, bowed, turned, and left.
As the doors swung shut behind the Lesser Youma, Jadeite tilted his head and stared at the large doors for a moment longer in silence.
End of Scene One - A Walk in the Darkened Corridor
Next Scene: Scene Two - A Discourse with Erstwhile Comrades
V.2.0 Edits Done to This Scene: A little more background on the Lessers (not really that much, just a paragraph sort of explaining WHAT a Lesser-with-a-capital-L is, really). A few edits in dialogue for grammar and to sort of fill out Andradite's lines a little. Also actually bothered to finally give Dravite a brief description.
V.2.5 Edits Done to This Scene: Corrected some grammar, rewrote sentences for better flow.