The Ball
One day Crimea was holding a ball. That day Daein held a ball as well. And there sat our eloped lovers on the island where they were always having a ball.
The queen's earrings were glittering in the sunlight. The sunlight fell onto the silver hair of the light mage like water from heaven. The stronger man put his hands delicately around his gaunt partner.
The king fretted about without hope, scared that he would displease his new wife. The rogue was beginning to think about work for honest pay. The wan man wept softly, "I don't deserve you."
The king and queen walked out onto the dance floor. The silver-haired maiden took her man as well. The eloped lovers walked into a shaded forest where they begun to dance.
"Do you miss being a general?" asked the queen.
"No," her husband responded, his paranoia waning.
"Do you miss being a thief?" asked the light mage.
"No," her husband responded, his bitterness waning.
"Do you miss being a mercenary?" the strong man asked.
"No," his partner responded, his depression waning.
Elincia put her lips on Geoffrey's as they waltzed. Micaiah couldn't resist kissing Sothe when he dipped her. Ike's mouth surprised Soren with its contact.
"I could never imagine myself with anyone else," Geoffrey said.
"I need you, and I… always have…" Sothe said with tears in his eyes.
"You were the only one who ever treated me kindly," Soren said, looking up at who had become his life partner.
"And you never had any competition," Elincia said, smiling.
"And you were never interested in Ike that way…" Micaiah said, smiling.
"And you were always my first choice," Ike said, smiling.
Elincia and Geoffrey enjoyed some slow dances. Micaiah and Sothe became more fast paced. Ike and Soren danced until the latter collapsed from dehydration and exhaustion.
Geoffrey remembered that he thought he'd lost Elincia to Ike, never to return. Sothe remembered when he had been separated from Micaiah, potentially forever. Soren remembered that he thought Ike would leave him for Elincia, and with good reason too.
Although Elincia and Geoffrey had not suffered any minority status, they were still relieved to end up together in the end. Sothe remembered Micaiah, the Branded, had to deal with problems. Soren, as a Branded and a homosexual, was doubly mistreated, with only the true love of a non-Branded, Ike, to keep him alive.
The three monogamous couples separately contemplated their next move.
"I want a baby," Elincia said. Geoffrey blushed.
"I want to have some fun," Micaiah said. Sothe blushed.
"Ah, it needs no justification, dammit, you need this!" Ike said. Soren stared blankly. "You know, intimacy?" Soren blushed.
And then:
MATURE ENDING:
Geoffrey and Elincia snuggled closer as the former removed the latter's clothes. In a dark alley, when no one was watching Micaiah and Sothe prepared. Ike and Soren were thankful for their aloneness as they began the foreplay.
Geoffrey never knew he could be this close to his one true love as this. Nor could Sothe. And heaven help you if you thought Soren could.
This was all three basket cases' (and their partners') first real experience with intimacy and they were very pleased.
Nine months later, a prince was born into Crimea. Micaiah and Sothe had not gotten such a blessing, but were so eager to try again that they were expecting one. "Well," Ike said, "Not having children is just a sacrifice I'm going to have to make."
The prince grew up. He had been named Ike. "He was the only reason Elincia is still alive," Geoffrey rationalized.
The child born to Micaiah and Sothe grew up too. He had been named Ike. "He was the only reason we were ever reunited," Sothe rationalized.
Ike smiled as Soren sincerely sweet-talked him once more. "You are the only reason I lived to see my seventh birthday."
Death befell the king and queen at a similar time. Nothing could be done. Death befell Sothe far sooner than Micaiah. She mourned, and yet realized, nothing could be done. Death befell Ike far sooner than Soren. He mourned, and died of a broken heart—but nothing could be done.
But advice to the readers: if you are a basket case in any way, shape, or form, it is possible to find love.
IMMATURE ENDING:
Lucia walked in and said, "I am totally going to tell the Crimean tabloids about this!"
Tormod walked in and said, "You idiot! Sothie-Poo is mine!" and blew up the world.
Ike and Soren were promptly censored by Fox News before Naesala came in with Tibarn and started taking photos with their totally existent cameras.