Ok so I have a midterm tomorrow but this just wouldn't leave my head so I had to write it. This is a one-shot unless I get some inspiration and want to add to it. Tell me if you like It
"Chuck, I'm pregnant"
With these words he had allowed himself to feel again. He allowed himself to breath. He looked up at her about to smile, hopefulness filling his eyes. He knew she was about to say it was his, how could it now?
"..and it's Louis'"
Suddenly all the hope had drained out of him. He felt empty but strangely alive again. He felt as though he had swallowed a ton of bricks. His whole body went limp. He could not move, he just stared into her eyes, looking, desperately searching for a sign that it was not true. When he let her go he did not ever expect to hear this kind of news so soon, it was too soon. He could not bear it. He would die tonight, he was sure of it. She turned around and started to leave. He didn't know what to do. A part of him knew. Knew that if he let her go she would be gone forever, and he was not ready for this. He knew that if he allowed her to take one step out of his apartment he would shatter, fall apart, and melt into numbness.
"Bl…" he could barely force out her name. His throat was dry, it hurt as though she had plunged a thousand knives from his throat into his heart.
Her head snapped around and she was crying. He could see tears in her eyes. The dog Dan had given him went to Blair and he saw realization and regret in her eyes.
"I thought you got rid of him" He could see she was as torn apart as he was. He had loved this woman since he was 16 years old, admired her even before then. This moment was not imaginable in those years of high school. He suddenly felt regret. If only he had said he loved her sooner maybe they would still be together. If only he had said he loved her sooner they would have been together longer.
"I had him fixed, I thought it would be the responsible thing to do" and in this moment he saw it. The look of regret was so intense in her eyes. He knew when she was lying, but for an unexplainable reason he still could not move. He doubted himself, Blair still loves him, she would not lie like this.
"There is a part of me that wished it were yours" and it was here that he knew she wasn't lying. It was here that he vowed to never love another woman like he loved Blair Waldorf. The woman who broke his heart not just once, but every time he looked upon her porcelain face. She turned and paced out. She said Louis was waiting. He didn't care for Louis and now he hated him more than ever. Louis does not know Blair, does not know what makes her tick, does not know which ways to touch her to make her feel alive, and he does not have even a third of the history he and Blair had. He forced himself to get up, he fought the physical pain. He sauntered towards Blair trying to hold his composure. "Blair," he crocked, tears welling up. He never allowed himself to cry in front of anybody and Blair knew that. She looked like she wanted to kiss him, to hold him, and he wished she would act on that impulse. "I meant what I said, I will always love you."
For some reason he felt he had to say this. He felt he needed to let her know again. She broke down into tears, nearly shrieking with pain and agony. He was frightened but he knew the pain was emotional. He stepped forward and embracing her in a hug. "I love you, and I will inevitably love your baby, Blair" he whispered into her ear. She started trembling. Trembling so hard she could not stay upright. She slouched down and threw herself on the couch. The couch where they had so many fond memories. She could not talk, she could not bear to look into his eyes. "I know, chuck" she was heaving for air, she could not speak but she managed to get a few incomprehensible words out, but Chuck understood them. She didn't even have to say them, Chuck would always understand her on a level nobody else did. "I..L…." she started crying even harder and Chuck just simply held her tight. "I know…" He held her together despite the fact that he needed somebody to do the same for him. He kissed the top of her head as tears made her head wet. He could not bear losing this forever. Soon she would move to her new kingdom in Monaco. Soon she would be out of his life forever.
"It wouldn't be my world without you in in" suddenly he remembered only a year ago standing in Paris. His heart breaking then too but not this badly. He still had hope then. Now, he is just a poor excuse for a man. He untangled his body from hers, this hurt too much. He could not handle losing her again but he had no choice. He had let her go. It was he who told her to marry this prince. She got up and with a long gaze into his eyes she left. That was their last goodbye, he was not satisfied. He wanted to scream, to jump off a building, to kill himself. Instead, he lies on his bed unable to move a bone in his body. His body was numb but his emotions were rampant. He had lost the only woman he could ever love, the only woman that could ever love him. She was a blessing that he was too stupid to keep. Another man, a better man had taken her away from him. She is pregnant. These words were more real to him than the wedding. A wedding, a marriage could always fail and secretly he had resorted to these thoughts as comfort, but a baby is forever. Out of all the unbreakable bonds he shared with Blair, Louis's was stronger. He had won. He had taken away her princess. So many tears left his eyes that he felt completely trained. He was breathing, living, and dying in his tears.
…..1 week later
Nobody understood what he and Blair had. They all claimed everybody goes through break ups. They claimed he was not the first or last to be dumped by a girl. However, they did not understand to what extent he loved Blair. Only she understood that. Only Blair could comfort him and she was nowhere to be found. He decided to take Monkey, his dog, out for a walk. He needed to clear his head. He needed to feel something other than pain. Yes, he had wanted to feel before, he was emotionally numb. However, Blair had stimulated his feelings again. He would rather be in pain because of her love than to feel nothing at all. Suddenly, he saw a group of Blair's minions walking, almost running towards him. They pushed an envelope to him. They said he had to read it. He read the front. To: Mrs. Blair Cornelia Waldorf-Grimaldi. So she was taking his last name, was all he could think. This was not the Blair he had known. The Blair he knew didn't want to be just Chuck Bass's Girlfriend. The only thing that had changed was she was going to be Prince Louis Grimaldi's wife. He winced at that word-Wife. And to who? A doormat, a useless, good-for-nothing Prince. His name was weak, Louis Grimaldi. However, he did not open it. Blair did not want him to read this. Something told him this. He had to give it back to her and assure her he had not read it. He did not want her to hate him more than she already did. She didn't want to lose her friendship as well. He walked down central park when he saw the most stunning person he had ever laid eyes on appear in front of him looking almost furious. She was looking down at his hand. He raised his arm and handed her the letter. It was unopened and she looked alleviated. She took one more step but Monkey managed to intertwine his leash around her feet and trip her.
Chuck caught her "wow, be careful Monkey! She is pregnant, this could be dangerous."
He almost instinctively rested his hand on her belly. He felt protective over it for some reason, it wasn't even his baby. He brushed it off.
"Louis doesn't want to be a father." She said almost depressingly but somehow happy. He did not understand, how could Blair be so unhappy with Louis? Why was she with him? When he let her go he thought Louis could make her happy, and he was wrong.
"What?" He was angered and he was unsure of why. "Has he said he didn't want the baby?"
Blair looked up at him and smiled just a small smile. Something that triggered something inside him. This woman would be the death of him. She looked up at him. "When I came to tell you about the baby last week, Chuck…" The memory was too much for him to handle without wincing. She winced to almost parallel to him. He always loved that about her, their bodies moved in unison, always. "I thought you would not want…I mean…I thought you had given away your…well…"
"What is it, Blair?" He was unsure if he was reading her correctly for the first time in his life. He started feeling hopeful again. Oh, how he missed even a glimmer of hope for happiness. However, he wanted Blair to be happy too. He was confused.
"Chuck, I am sorry for lying to you, so sorry I ever doubted you, but you are going to be a father soon and…" he didn't hear anything else. He just froze. Had he just heard her correctly?
"…and if you don't want to be part of the baby's life that is fine but it has been killing me that I have lied to you. I don't want to deny you of a chance to get to know you child"
"Blair" her name came off his lips in a relieved tone. "of course I want to help with our child…and if you still want to be with Louis… I don't know, we'll figure something out."
He was going to share this intimate bond with Blair, not Louis. He was happier, he was more hopeful. He loved the fact that he was going to become a father, but he was scared too.
"Chuck, Louis doesn't make me happy. I don't know what's wrong with me. He is so good to me, I just, I don't….love him the way I do you and that is not ok with me. I need you to be in my life, the father of my child."
Chuck couldn't be mad at her for lying to him. The mother of his unborn child, the woman he had wronged way too many times. He knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life making up everything he had done wrong to her. Nothing else seemed to matter. He had won. For the first time in his life he believed there was some sort of higher power working and for some reason he wanted him, of all people, to be happy.