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Two Vignettes
Squall
What am I doing, why am I sitting here watching her when I should be up in my office working?
It was a perfectly good question but unfortunately for Squall Leonhart it was one that had no answer. He should be up in his office, he should be working, the one thing he shouldn't be doing was watching Selphie Tilmitt play tennis.
But here I am and if it was up to me I would sit and watch her all day not because she can play, she can't, but because she's just so damn beautiful and I think I love her.
No strike that he amended silently, he didn't think he loved her, he knew he loved her.
And it's killing me, slowly, a little more each day because she doesn't even look at me, half the time she doesn't even realize I'm here.
Of course she knew he was here, they saw each other almost every day, usually she smiled at him, sometimes she laughed with him, but there was never anything in her infinitely deep jade eyes to suggest she saw him as anything other than a commanding officer and as a somewhat distant, lonely, and preoccupied friend.
Oh god Selphie if I had the guts I'd walk onto the court right now and take you in my arms and kiss you.
But he didn't have the guts, facing down psychopathic sorceresses, Galbadian assault troops, and creatures from the very bowels of hell were as nothing when it came to facing a young woman with jade eyes, crazy hair, and an impish smile, a young woman who stood five foot two in her bare feet and could barely weigh more than a hundred pounds, a young woman he would love until the end of time and who he would die for at a moments notice and call it good.
Your a loser Squall Leonhart, you might look tough, you might wear a fancy uniform with more stripes on his sleeves than anyone else in this damn building but your a loser all the same, the biggest one going because you can't find the courage to walk up to a girl and tell her you love her!
He knew that if he ever found the courage to tell her, and that once told she didn't laugh or run away, if instead she fell into his arms and told him she felt the same then on that day he would have the entire world.
If...
Selphie
Oh god he's here, I can't play for toffee at the best of times but now he's here my so called game is gonna go to pieces!
And it was going to pieces, spectacularly, Quistis was hardly the greatest player in the world, but she was making her look like an idiot with each serve sailing right past her, indeed the few spectators on the gymnasium bleachers were beginning to jeer, in a friendly, good natured sort of way as her game went rapidly downhill, the only person not jeering was Squall who was sitting apart from everyone else with his customary frown on his face seemingly lost in his own little world.
What goes on behind those blue eyes of yours Squall, do you see me, do you know I'm here? I think I'm falling in love with you Squall, I think I love you.
No strike that she amended silently, she didn't think she loved him, she knew she loved him.
And it's tearing me apart because when I'm near you I can't even look at you without feeling faint. Crazy I know, ditzy Selphie has to hide what she feels about you behind impassive eyes.
And he would never know just how hard it was just to stand there and talk to him and pretend he was just some guy, he would never see her go back to her room after talking to him, smiling and laughing with her friends, dropping her books, bumping into things, acting in a way people expected her to act, clumsy Selphie, silly Selphie, and she would go along with it, playing her part for her friends, for him, for everyone until the door of her room was safely locked behind her and she'd hurl herself onto her bed and sob into her pillow with his name on her lips and his face in her heart and dreams.
If I had the guts I would tell you Squall, just tell you. I would walk up to you one morning and tell you I love you and demand you love me in return.
But she didn't have the guts, that would be utterly beyond her. People thought her reckless and she supposed she was but there were some things she could never do, she couldn't look at a spider without getting hysterical, she couldn't drink more than two glasses of wine or beer without getting the giggles, and she couldn't just walk up to the man of her dreams and tell him she loved him.
You're a loser Selphie Tilmitt, you may be a hotshot pilot and a mean bass guitarist but your a loser all the same because as tough as you talk you can't talk to the man you love and let him know your feelings.
She knew that if one sweet day she ever did find the courage and he didn't laugh or run away but if instead he took her into his arms and kissed her then she wouldn't be on earth any more. On that day she'd be in heaven.
If...