DNA: Doing Nothing Appropriate
Author's Note: After about a couple months of not writing anything, I've finally thought of an idea, thanks to fact that I had to do a Geometry test. Whoop-dee-doo.
I'm not too sure if this will be a LK, but I'm planning this to be my first multi-chapter fanfic.
Anyway. The title was inspired from when my friends were trying to spell "deoxyribonucleic acid" correctly with the least amount of tries. Then I butted in and spelt it correctly in one go.
Pwned.
Disclaimer: OMGNOWAI.
Chapter One: Striking Gold
"Yuu!"
A rather passively frustrated Kanda turned around to see a happy Lavi, bouncing about like the rabbit he was. "Here, check this book out!" The book then came swiftly flying towards Kanda's face, which he caught calmly.
"'DNA: How Genetics Work'?" The Mugen-weilder raised an eyebrow at the book title. "What kind of book is this?"
"It stands for Doing Nothing Appropriate," Baby-Bookman said, grinning all the while. "It doesn't sound like it, I know. But still." The disbelieving look told Sir Red-Headed Bunny that Master Annoy-Me-And-I-Will-Kill-You did not exactly believe what he said.
"Okay, fine, it stands for 'deoxyribonucleic acid'. Happy?"
"Once you're gone, yes."
"You're so mean, Yuu!" A swift slice about two millimetres away from Lavi's nose shut him up.
"Go read a fairy tale or something. I'm busy." With disturbing calm, Kanda tucked away his precious pointy Mugen and stalked off in his usual moody way.
"No goodbye kiss? No farewell hug? No nothing?" Lavi yelled as loudly as he dared (which was rather loud) and feigned a pout before crossing his arms and stalking off.
"Mission, Kanda. With Lavi." Master Annoy-Me-And-I-Will-Kill-You gritted his teeth, his left eye twitching ever so slightly.
"Why with the Bunny?" Kanda demanded, obviously displeased about who he had to work with.
"Is that a pet name?" Komui asked, a sinister glint in his glasses before a very pointy Mugen was being pointed at his throat. "Okay, okay, I'll tell you. Allen and Linali have gone on a mission in Denmark to investigate something. You, on the other hand, are going to Germany to analyse something else." Kanda sighed.
"It is I, Lavi, the Oh-So Sexy!" Lavi the Oh-So-Sexy announced as he noisily slammed open the door to Komui's very messy office, putting up a very stupid hero pose. "So, what's the mission about?"
"Germany," the Supervisor replied almost immediately, pushing up his glasses before reading what seemed to be the correct document from all the others on his desk. "There have been cases of things turning into gold at the Oder River; anything from glass to stone to even living beings." Komui then handed copies of the original files to Baby-Bookman and Grumpy-Mugen-owner.
"Read them carefully and make sure you don't eat them if you run out of food!" Lavi gave a nod of confirmation for both warnings, usual happy grin planted on. Kanda, however...
"Multiple traces of Innocence?" He looked his usual agitated self, but he also appeared to be puzzled.
"Yes," Komui replied. "Apparently there's a drought around the region of where the Oder River is, so there should be little to no water trickling. However, it's still full, so we suspect that it could be a sign of multiple traces of Innocence."
"The report doesn't say anything about Akuma appearances," Lavi noted aloud. The Supervisor nodded.
"Akuma aren't able to retrieve this Innocence because of its power," he explained. "The Innocence causes the bodies of Akuma to melt, so in a way, it is defending itself." Kanda looked only very slightly enlightened, but Lavi's expression was not much different to a kid getting the toy they wanted. "The strange thing, however, is that presence of Innocence temporarily nullifies the power of that type of Innocence and Dark Matter temporarily strengthens it."
"When do we leave?" Kanda asked. "I'd much rather get this over and done with."
"You leave in two days; trains have been delayed for some reason." An angry Master Annoy-Me-And-I-Will-Kill-You was muttering something vaguely along the lines of, 'I can't wait two days', but Lavi the Oh-So-Sexy seemed more than happy to have time to make sure that he didn't forget to pack his extra bright orange scarf and spare bandanna and emergency eye patch. You could never be too paranoid about your prized possessions.
"Be careful about your mission. Akuma may appear as soon as you get to Oder River to retrieve the Innocence there. Allen and Linali should also be back by tomorrow, so you can get Allen to help you retrieve the Innocence."
"So?"
"Because he is a Parasitic-type, he can simply activate his anti-Akuma weapon and grab the Crystals like that or he can just swim and get it."
"How do you even know all this information?" Kanda asked. How Komui knew so much annoyed him so. He didn't like it.
"A lost Finder somehow boarded the train to Germany instead of France and followed the Oder River. Since it was rather warm there, he decided to have a swim. Thank God he was paranoid of drowning and checked the depth of the water; otherwise he would've turned to gold." Komui had the very familiar expression of relief on his face, which made Kanda a little ticked. Just a little.
"Let's get ready." He stood up and left Komui's office, Sir Red-Headed Bunny waving goodbye before also leaving to follow Kanda.
"Wait for meee, Yuu!"
"Get away from me!"
Author's Note: Not very long, in my opinion. But I guess I'll have to shoot down those plot bunnies. Or something.
Reviews are loved, but constructive criticism will be fantastic. Flames, however, on your marshmallows. It's more convenient and tasty anyway.
Sudden Random Thought Thingy: I seriously have to clear up my profile. It's so bulked up with text and letters and unnecessary information and... ew.