~~A fore warning; this fic depicts Alzheimer's and bits of dementia from Stages Three to Six, there are bits of violence, anger, trauma, the allude to malnutrition, hospital visits and injuries. Please be prepared if you decide to read this. Feel free to leave a review of your feelings here, or with the Tumblr post of this at KnBFanfic~~
Izuki and Takao had been together for years, it was sort of an accident that they ended up together. Back when Takao graduated because his grades weren't the greatest he pushed himself as hard as he could to get enrolled in a Tokyo Sports College, little did he know that Izuki from Seirin had also enrolled there. He found out about a semester in when he took an extra elective because it opened up. The two of them were in different years, but that didn't stop some of the classes they took from being available across the levels. They had been stunned by the irony, after all no one expected two of the bird trio to end up in college together, especially because having the two on the same basketball team would open up a surprising amount of options if the first year enrolled. Takao hadn't done that yet because he needed to stabilize with everything at first. Of course as soon as Izuki realized he had a familiar face he dragged him to the club to apply, and the chaos that lead to them dating ended up ensuing.
After Takao had enrolled with the club there was a mandatory party where the freshmen were integrated and accepted through various games or challenges. Things like the King's game, truth or dare, or whatever else the seniors could think of. Given Takao's outgoing personality he had no trouble easing his way in among the team, he was surprised by this method of introduction having come from Shuutoku, but he kept an open mind. Well unfortunately for Takao he got roped into a King's game with some of the fourth years who were teasing all of the lower levels that Izuki and quite a few of the managers were part of. The senior was slightly drunk since it was an off night no one really complained, the instruction given was 'Number 10 must kiss number 5 on the lips without exception' When they called number '5' Izuki had raised his hand and '10' was Takao, out of approximately 30 players, there were only about six girls so it was to be expected that it would be two guys, and since there were only a few fourth years in this group they weren't worried about slighting their friends. Takao sighed softly getting up stretching "Utto~ You're a rather demanding king-sama senpai." Some of the third years thought that Takao would run away, but instead he walked over and knelt down in front of Izuki.
The fourth year had been prepared to stop the freshman from running away, the group sort of stared at the two in surprise considering they were both calm. Izuki had a reputation for being good with puns, but bad with girls because of the jokes, he was also known for being good looking as long as he was quiet he was eye-candy. The freshman drew attention because he fit in so easily that no one really knew how to handle him, he was already know for being personable and attractive, he'd apparently broken a few hearts in his few weeks at the school. Seeing the two of them so close caused the group to be unsure how to respond considering the instruction from the king and the calmness they shared. Normally the guys freaked out until they were threatened with a punishment. Takao smiled as he leaned on knee against the floor to properly get close to Izuki, he murmured "I'll have to ask you to forgive me Izuki-san~" Then without hesitating the hawk leaned in, tilting the older male's chin with one hand and kissed the eagle who was partially surprised. After a moment and several squeals from the managers Takao pulled back and returned to his spot chuckling at the dumb-struck king.
After the party was over Takao had caught up to Izuki to apologize properly, he laughed it off. It was a couple months later that they started dating, after training together constantly and getting closer the bird pair had become inseparable so it was natural they started dating. Of course they were met with quite a bit of trouble, although it wasn't uncommon, it was still disturbing to some people, so they kept it quiet on campus pointing out they were just good friends since they knew each other from high school. They moved into an apartment near campus together to enjoy their time together by the end of Takao's first year and they nested themselves in nicely.
~~Five Years After Takao's Graduation~~
Since same sex marriage still wasn't really a thing they held a small ceremony and got the certificate which was offered, they listed each other as family so that if any issue arose they would be able to step in without needing to involve one of their sisters unless it was super needed. They had a small party with their friends who didn't critique them over their life choices. They both had graduated from college, Izuki had gotten a job with a marketing company, his attention to detail left him as an irreplaceable member of the team. Takao got a job as a photographer, his awareness of his surroundings and attention to the most minuscule details earned him recognition even as a rookie.
Some nights they were exhausted if they had late nights or super early mornings one of them would leave dinner or breakfast with a cute or punny note to encourage the other. They slept in each other's arms each night even if it was only a couple hours, their relationship was made of cuteness, bleary sleepy kisses and cuddles. Their weekends were devoted to each other, at least one of the two days they would have some form of date and enjoy life.
~~Fifteen Years Later~~ /So they're about 42 and 43 here respectively/
Around Shun's birthday they had a small party like always and celebrated his birthday, 43 it was hardly old in the slightest. They could still play basketball, maybe not super high intensity like they used to, but hey they never were monsters like the rainbow squad. Though Takao felt his heart stop when they went to the doctor for their annual physicals. They would get their results together since they were for better or for worse together until the end. Thankfully Takao was a natural at hiding his emotions, although his heart was in his stomach his face didn't show it. After all it had to be a million times harder for Izuki hearing that they wanted to run a few more tests, they suspected he was in the third stage of Alzheimer's. The third stage was really the first point when it starts to become noticeable, and there's a chance if it's caught they can slow the progress with medication.
Takao held Izuki's hand in his and rubbed his finger over the other's knuckles as they went to sit in the waiting room of the neurology department. The hawk smiled and kissed the back of Izuki's hand and squeezed it lightly. "Birds of a feather, we'll always be together." Izuki was rather pale but smiled and nodded "Always, we can't fly the coop." It was clear this was unnerving to him, but he was glad to have his lover at his side. Still 43... It was really young for something like this. Swallowing Izuki squeezed Takao's hand more tightly, he didn't realize his grip was hurting the other and Takao didn't say anything, he just continued to soothingly rub his thumb over the top of Izuki's knuckles.
After a half hour of waiting the two of them went in for Izuki's tests, they did brain scans, memory testing, cognitive tests. Takao's breath caught in his throat as he saw what the doctor's could see, maybe it was because they were always together but he hadn't realized the subtle differences until he was forced to keep an eye out for it. Slowly memories surfaced in Takao's mind, at the business parties Izuki couldn't remember the newbie names until someone jogged his memory. There were times that he forgot where he put things, so they had gotten a hall tree to keep their keys, scarves, wallets and such unlike before when they kept them at their bedside. Izuki who had always been a master with words had struggled from time to time in finding the correct word and got frustrated before picking a different word, his puns had become simpler and he read over his old ones more often than he made a newer one. Quietly Takao took a deep breath grounding himself again, right here was not the place for him to break down. He needed to keep his composure for his lover, even if he was kicking himself for missing the signs... With this disease every minute was vital or so he heard... Takao would have to do research on this soon, so he could be prepared. Izuki sat on the metal table staring at the images of his brain scan. The hawk wasn't sure if Izuki could actually hear what the doctor was saying, the shock was clear on his face, so Takao asked for a print out of the results for them to review later as well.
After the doctor left to get the printout Takao helped Izuki back into his shirt and jacket before hugging him, stroking his hair and letting him calm down. He could feel Shun's nails digging into the back of his neck, but he didn't complain at all. These little injuries were nothing in comparison to the shock this was.
That year they didn't celebrate Takao's birthday, they just ate some cake to keep the routine.
~~The flow of time is never kind; Ten years passed in the blink of an eye~~
Takao had taken over all the finances by this point, unfortunately the trial prescriptions weren't helping anything, and some of the newer drugs were too risky so the birds refused. They had moved from their little apartment to the house where Takao's parents used to live, and Takao's younger sister took the apartment since it was more convenient for her, since they moved there they took in Izuki's sister's dog. It was a puppy from Izuki's old dog. Takao also made a studio for his photography shoots in one of the rooms at his house so he could work from home when it came down to it, and he got that signed off by the agencies he did shoots for. Izuki had finally gotten laid off this year because his memory was starting to affect his work. Considering their savings it wasn't a blow financially, but the excess free time made things complicated. Idle minds dissolve faster than active ones, so Takao bought a lot of games, puzzles and similar hobby things. They spend more time together being close and playing one-on-one in the backyard.
The fact that Izuki's number one subject was now becoming impossible for him to keep up with, and he was relying on his 108 joke books again was concerning. Takao was taking tons of photos of them now, he'd started scrap booking lately. After all, just because Izuki won't remember doesn't mean it didn't happen. They had tons of memories from their travels, their life together all the way back from high school. Takao had hunted down the old magazines, newspaper articles from their teams in high school. He had gotten photos from Izuki's siblings and his own, they had a table in the backroom that was littered with photos and photo books it was actually quite amazing to look at.
Takao had finally started seeing a therapist when Izuki had forgotten their anniversary, he knew he needed an outlet and that he couldn't break down in front of the man he loved the most in the world. Alzheimer's is an evil disease, it causes pain for those surrounded by it, but the ones suffering often get abused by their loved ones trying to force memories onto them. The scrap booking idea was something that his therapist had suggested, since they can work on it together, and even if Izuki doesn't realize he was in the photo, Takao can still tell the stories about where they were taken. The hawk's memory was improving from how much he had to deal with, he kept a pda now which he never did before. He needed to have something to ping him about the bills, the doctors, the photoshoots, heck he was close to hiring a personal assistant just to be able to manage everything. He wouldn't give in though, he didn't want an extra face. After all his eagle wouldn't remember who that person was and he didn't want to stress Izuki out at all. Stage Four was hell, but it was only a kiddie ride so far.
On Izuki's birthday this year Takao threw a big party, he invited Seirin's old team, which was fun to get in contact with at first. He had to use his connection to Kise to get Momoi to call Kuroko and help coordinate the mess of a party. Thankfully not that many of them had gone abroad, so getting them all together was relatively easy, Izuki's sisters came as well and it was a big party. Takao was surprised when the rainbow crew dropped by at the request of the little shadow, he was still as invisible as he was in the past, which made the party lively since almost no one was used to the disappearing act anymore a lot of people got startled often. Their dog had to stay in the yard because she didn't do well with new people, the only person it took to quickly was Takao.
Izuki had a good time reminiscing with Hyuuga, Riko and Kiyoshi especially. Midorima, Momoi and Kise each were worrying over Takao in their own way practically spoiling him while Izuki was being passed around. Akashi finally asked Takao "It must be difficult on you Takao, are you going to keep going like this?" Takao glanced at the happy back of the eagle across the room and nodded "Of course... I gave my life to him over thirty years ago... It's my turn to take on the headaches, and the challenges... It won't get any easier, but I won't give up Sei-chan" Even at 52 Takao grinned and had the face of mischief, though it had mellowed from the obvious stress line appearing on his face. He was starting to resemble Shuutoku's former coach. Momoi swiped Takao's phone and started programming their numbers into the phone "Kazu-kun you can rely on your friends a bit more you know. Midorin was practically glued to the library to research what Izuki-san is going through once I told him, so he can support you. The world might be harsh, but you're not all by yourself you know." Midorima was trying to argue the point, but was startled when Takao sidestepped behind him using his height to hide the fact he had started to tear up from that comment. He couldn't vocalize a response so he nodded. Kuroko came over with a box of tissues and smiled a bit "Takao-kun, thank you for always being with Izuki-san. But don't forget to care for yourself as well."
Izuki's sisters Aya (The older one) and Mai (the younger one) took that moment to bring out a giant cake, to celebrate the two birthdays. Izuki grinned at his sisters and shook his head "The cake is so happy about this, it's in tiers." As the normal straight man Hyuuga commented "Shut up Izuki" Though it lacked the normal bite, quite a few people actually chuckled at that joke, but like Takao there were a few who were actually fighting back tears, like Riko who slipped away to the bathroom or Mai who had her eyes closed at the moment holding a pile of plates. For a few minutes Izuki hadn't been able to identify her, her husband had managed to calm her down, but he ended up leaving because his brother-in-law had no real idea who he was. That might be normal since they didn't really spend any time together, but that just made things harder for Mai, so he went to stay at a nearby restaurant with some of the other significant others who didn't want to be in the way.
Izuki and Takao had their hands intertwined as they blew out the candles that day. It was Takao's little sister who was taking the photos of the party since Kazu-nii was part of the festivities. The smile that her brother saw in the photos later was the brightest he had seen in years, so he agreed to keep in contact more with everyone who attended the party.
About a week after the party Takao had to explain why there were traces of confetti around the house. Apparently he had missed them when cleaning up.
~~Seven Years Later~~
Seven was a lucky number normally, but it wasn't forgiving this year. Shun was turning the big 60, but he had also been flirting the line of stage five and six. Takao's hair was now a constant patient for Hyuuga's hairdresser, he hated the grays that were growing in frequently, his level of stress had nearly tripled. Despite the fact that every year Takao had a party and some of their friends and family showed up, things were getting complicated. After all they had their families, careers and what not to handle. So it was lucky if one or two old faces showed up, there was also the passing of some of their friends... Which Izuki couldn't remember, sometimes he'd ask about why so-and-so wasn't there and they'd skirt around the topic. After all, it's best not to try to force him to remember things or push things.
Izuki's nieces and nephews were confused when their uncle started treating them like strangers, and one of the little girls actually started crying because he forgot who she was. He'd given her candy to cheer her up, and her mother had to explain to a ten year old what her uncle was going through. Takao had been sleeping less because Izuki had started having night terrors, and wandering around at night. Each time it happened, Takao would help calm his eagle down and cuddle him or stroke his hair until he was calm.
One morning Takao felt like he couldn't breathe, he hadn't noticed Izuki had left. He snuck out of the house, it was the middle of winter and it didn't look like he took a jacket. Kazunari didn't even close the front door as he ran out of the house, calling friends that lived in the area to ask them to keep an eye out or house sit. Considering the dog was gone it was safe to assume she had followed Izuki which was slightly reassuring. The hawk might be just under sixty but he was still able to run when push came to shove, and although he would certainly feel it later he was full on running as he searched. There were about ten people out hunting for the eagle who flew off, and it was starting to snow at a pretty good clip. Neither of the bird pair were particularly warmblooded on a good day, and neither of them were dressed for the weather. Takao refused to stop moving, he checked dozens of places Izuki liked going to both now and in the past. Just as he was about to have an anxiety attack he got a phone call from Midorima, he found Izuki by chance. The hawk's knees buckled and he collapsed on the spot when he heard that. Takao stayed in that spot sending messages and calling the search crew from that spot, he was shaking too badly to head home just yet. Midorima was bringing Izuki and the dog home by taxi. Kise who had a photoshoot with Takao today ran over startled seeing the shaking Takao sitting in the middle of the sidewalk, he helped him up and walked with him to a coffee shop to warm up a bit before they went back to meet with Midorima, Izuki and the lighting crew. The shoot was delayed for about ten minutes while Takao hugged Izuki and made sure he was okay. Apparently he remembered the old days of Seirin training and went out running along the course, since the hawk was sleeping so well he didn't want to wake him. He was confused as to why Takao was hugging him so tightly, and the hawk played it off that he was cold.
Kise couldn't help but pity Takao, who was doing the shoot despite the fact he had silent tears on his cheeks. Somehow even as a 'silver fox' Kise was still radiant and didn't have any lack of modelling work, his company almost solely relied on Takao at this point since they worked so well together. During the photo shoot Izuki was flipping through the photo books with Midorima, and the tsundere squeezed his lucky item a cat-shaped stress ball tightly as he realized the eagle couldn't remember a few of his good friends. Mitobe, Koganei even Kiyoshi wasn't safe... Midorima couldn't help but feel ice in his veins, he wondered how Takao was managing this. Then again the fact that he had lost a bit of weight answered that he wasn't coping well, Izuki still looked healthy and happy. However one question that Izuki asked almost made Midorima drop his lucky item 'I wonder why Takao is so nice to me... He always stays by my side, I'm not used to so much kindness... It feels really nice... Hey Midorima, could you tell me why? Did I forget something again...? Hyuuga says I'm forgetting a lot...' The rule of thumb is don't force someone to remember something, and even if he answered there was a chance of denial, the tsundere was not a very skilled liar though so he just smiled "You're very important to Takao, he'll never let anything happen to you. That's all, you've been living together for ages." Izuki hummed he accepted that, it sounded like they were roommates or something. Takao and Kise had finished their shoot and had overheard that. Kise dragged the hawk back to the studio to help him calm down before facing his lover again. Through his tears the hawk smiled deprecatingly to himself "I have to be stronger than this... I already knew this could happen... It doesn't matter if he forgets, I won't forget him... I know that... I do, but it still hurts... Kicchan... what should I do?" The tears wouldn't stop and Kise had to hug the trembling little hawk, there weren't enough words to describe the conflict in that house. Even the lighting crew and the stylists who were cleaning up seemed to pity Takao who seemed to be having his heart torn apart today.
The very next day Takao barely caught Izuki again, he just hugged him from behind to catch him before he wandered out in the snow alone. The hawk smiled and shook his head "If you're going out you need to bundle up Shun~ Here" He helped his lover into his coat, scarf and hat before bundling up himself and walking with him. While they walked Izuki asked the same question he had asked Midorima the day before, even though he was prepared it still stung. Takao smiled and poked Izuki's cheek with his free hand, they still naturally had their hands linked together after all "Obviously you're suuuuuper close to me, I won't let you out of my sight~ You've always been super nice to me too you know~ I'll always be by your side, no matter what, I won't be sidelined" Izuki chuckled and smiled warmly, he didn't really understand why those few words made his heart skip a beat, but he was ecstatic. Despite the snow the two of you walked a full circut before returning home with fresh donuts from the bakery in town. That became a new daily ritual.
~~Two years later~~
Alzheimer's isn't a disease that can be completely predicted, some people are affected very differently. The flow of time is naturally unforgiving, but for the birds the way it was flying had them caged in a dance like marionettes getting tangled within their own strings. By this point Izuki was now wearing adult diapers, because he couldn't always make it to the restroom. And sometimes he forgot where he was going when he started to head to the restroom, his favorite foods changed. He no longer liked coffee jelly, and instead preferred more tart treats. Takao had learned the Heimlich as an emergency procedure, and had gotten Izuki a wristband with a tracker in it so he could find him, since he was sleeping less and wandering a lot more. Takao didn't bring Hyuuga around anymore, because his constant aggravation caused stress for Izuki and ended up upsetting him quite a bit. So Riko would come over to dye Takao's hair and check in on Izuki now.
Takao refused to let the birthday party be solemn, and was constantly being the voice of cheer which caused more worry for those around him. Not even a week later Izuki got startled by Takao's intimacy and shoved him away, he fell down a flight of stairs from the poor angle and ended up with a fracture. Still the hawk smiled and apologized, it was his fault. The doctors tried to force Takao to give sleeping pills or sedatives to Izuki and he yelled at them, causing Izuki who was in the waiting room to panic. Once Takao shrugged off the doctor he used his crutch and hobbled out to Izuki apologizing and calming him down.
He was glaring daggers at the doctor. "I am not sedating him because of my clumsiness. It wasn't his fault. I don't want to kill him because you don't know how to treat him. I highly doubt you'd ever consider doping your own family just because of a little fight. Just because he's sick doesn't mean I can force him to take something like that. I am not turning my best friend into a zombie to fit your ideals. You can go fuck yourself. Thanks for the consideration, but no way in hell." Since Takao almost never got mad, the fact that his voice muffled as anything had resounded in the waiting room made Izuki think he did something wrong. When the hawk had come out and hugged him and soothed him he calmed down. Really he was like a little child, he needed constant recognition, he'd constantly need to be changed or cleaned up, he would forget things or be distracted, he might not remember things and get scared by intimacy sometimes... But the fear mostly came from the fact that it was comforting, and although it was comforting, he didn't know why and because he didn't understand that it was scary.
It didn't take long from then... It was only a few months into the next year when Takao was down graded from friend to roommate... Izuki was having trouble remembering Takao's name sometimes and he was forgetting to eat even when he was sitting with food. He started having trouble swallowing. The eagle wasn't happy, he was constantly agitated, he was constantly trying to remember things that were outside of his memory. There were a few more incidents where Takao got hurt, he asked Momoi to help him find replicas of glassware in his house with plastic after he fell into a vase and cut up his hands. That made his photography session a few hours later a bit difficult. Still he managed.
Weeks passed and summer arrived... But although the sun rose, the eagle wasn't moving... He had forgotten how to breathe in the middle of the night. The hawk sunk to the floor at the bedside, he was too numb to even cry at the moment. His hand moved like he was a puppet making all the arrangements for the burial, the coroner, the funeral home. Phone call after phone call, delayed only by an hour when Takao had to work, he was completely numb... He couldn't process it, he lost his other half... Even though Izuki had vanished months ago... He finally no longer had breath, it was sort of surreal, it was harder to accept than the slue of injuries that came from the confusion. The photographs that Takao took that day had a sophisticated and solemn air, the editor was surprised but didn't say anything negative. Kise cancelled the rest of his day to stay and help Takao organize things.
Everything passed in a blur, it wasn't even a week later when the funeral procession began. The final viewing, Takao and Mai stood faithfully greeting guests. The hawk was still pretty battered from his last fight with Shun. When it came time to give a speech the hawk reluctantly stepped forward, his eyes had a hurt that was incomprehensible in them, his heart was finally starting to move... This was it the final stage... "Shun was a wonderful person, he was loved by family, friends, former teammates, coworkers, his husband and even those random people lucky enough to make his acquaintance, but unlucky enough to become targets of his puns. To him it was punishing to be unable to come up with a new pun, he was proud when he beat his 100 pun record, and he managed to continue to fly above it all with his eagle eye... Although toward the middle of everything he was diagnosed with Alzheimer's that doesn't mean we lost anything... After all, those memories lived on in his heart, even if his brain forced him to forget... Every day was a struggle for him as we reached the end, he was upset that he couldn't remember his friends, family, lover or pet... So... Although it is heartbreaking..." Takao coughed as his tears swallowed his voice for a moment before he could continue "Although it's heartbreaking... Remember he is happy now... Sickness does not follow us in death, so he is free... So cherish the memories of those dozens of puns, the games and the smiles. The happy and the sad... Because no matter what way, everyone present knew Shun... And he wouldn't want you to be sad... He'd probably say that this was a rather grave situation and that he was dying to liven it up a bit, but he's drop dead tired." Despite his best efforts the tears were falling and his smile was forced, he was trying to give the best he could. A few scattered voices chirped in 'Amen' and then the rest of the room did.
Takao finally sat down and started crying silently while the preacher gave his sermon, the burial would be a few hours later. The final moment was too much. Takao couldn't stop the tears, and no one knew how to comfort him, they could only be there patting his shoulders or rubbing his back...
