Staff Meeting at Hogwarts
Dumbledore gestured around the staff room. "Nice to see that all of you made it for this meeting. Now, before I begin, I would like to say a few words—"
The Hogwarts professors recited in unison together, "Nitwit. Blubber. Oddment. Tweak."
Dumbledore coughed. "I see I have overused the joke a bit."
"Just get on with it," Professor McGonagall said. "We all know what it's about. It's what it's about every year since Professor Quirrell..." she trailed off, then straightened her robes. "It's about the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher."
"Yes," coughed Dumbledore. "There is that. There is also another item of business that will be attended to later."
"I think," said Profesor Snape quietly, "that you have exhausted your supply of suitable..." It was quite obvious that Snape wanted to say idiots, but not even Snape would say it to Dumbledore's face. "...applicants."
Dumbledore looked over his half-moon glasses, directly at Snape as if to say, I know exactly what you think. "Well, then. I guess I will begin. In previous years, I have searched far and wide for one who would teach our students to prepare themselves for shadows that would cross their path. This year, however, I have looked much closer to home. This year, I have looked here at Hogwarts."
Snape went from looking annoyed to intrigued to blatantly hopeful in seconds. "Professor Dumbledore," he managed. "You know that I have been waiting years for you to say this..."
Dumbledore continued as if he hadn't spoken. "With these dark times surrounding us, we need a professor who is knowledgeable and practical, with years of resisting the Dark Arts behind him."
Snape's pale face brightened, a look of pure joy suffusing his features. "Professor Dumbledore, I humbly—"
Again, Dumbledore cut him off. "And so, after careful thought, I have decided that the best person for the job would be Mr. Harry Potter."
It was as if someone had cut off Snape's legs at the knees. He immediately crumpled into a heap on the floor, pale face even paler than any of the professors had ever seen it before. He opened his mouth and a spew of gibberish came out.
"I had no idea Severus knew gibberish," one professor in the back managed.
After a minute, the gibberish stopped, and the only sound Snape made was a gasping wheeze. At almost any other time, the sight of Professor Snape lying on the floor, twitching, would have been considered amusing. Now, it just seemed sad.
Dumbledore sighed heavily, like he had been expecting this, then gestured to Madame Pomfrey. She came in swiftly, wand ready, and with a quick charm was floating Snape out of the room. Everyone watched, silent, until the Potions Master was gone. Then, as if they had rehearsed the motion, they all turned to look at Dumbledore in unison.
"I think Mr. Potter will make a great DADA teacher," Professor McGonagall said. The tension gone, all of the other professors began to expound upon their own opinions on the matter.
After a few moments, Dumbledore raised his hands to silence them. "Now, on to the next order of business," he said. "There is another position at Hogwarts that has only recently become available. I have looked far and wide to find a suitable replacement."
"And what position is that?" Professor Flitwick asked.
Dumbledore cleared his throat. "Potions."
Dumbledore gestured around the staff room. "Nice to see that all of you made it for this meeting. Now, before I begin, I would like to say a few words—"
The Hogwarts professors recited in unison together, "Nitwit. Blubber. Oddment. Tweak."
Dumbledore coughed. "I see I have overused the joke a bit."
"Just get on with it," Professor McGonagall said. "We all know what it's about. It's what it's about every year since Professor Quirrell..." she trailed off, then straightened her robes. "It's about the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher."
"Yes," coughed Dumbledore. "There is that. There is also another item of business that will be attended to later."
"I think," said Profesor Snape quietly, "that you have exhausted your supply of suitable..." It was quite obvious that Snape wanted to say idiots, but not even Snape would say it to Dumbledore's face. "...applicants."
Dumbledore looked over his half-moon glasses, directly at Snape as if to say, I know exactly what you think. "Well, then. I guess I will begin. In previous years, I have searched far and wide for one who would teach our students to prepare themselves for shadows that would cross their path. This year, however, I have looked much closer to home. This year, I have looked here at Hogwarts."
Snape went from looking annoyed to intrigued to blatantly hopeful in seconds. "Professor Dumbledore," he managed. "You know that I have been waiting years for you to say this..."
Dumbledore continued as if he hadn't spoken. "With these dark times surrounding us, we need a professor who is knowledgeable and practical, with years of resisting the Dark Arts behind him."
Snape's pale face brightened, a look of pure joy suffusing his features. "Professor Dumbledore, I humbly—"
Again, Dumbledore cut him off. "And so, after careful thought, I have decided that the best person for the job would be Mr. Harry Potter."
It was as if someone had cut off Snape's legs at the knees. He immediately crumpled into a heap on the floor, pale face even paler than any of the professors had ever seen it before. He opened his mouth and a spew of gibberish came out.
"I had no idea Severus knew gibberish," one professor in the back managed.
After a minute, the gibberish stopped, and the only sound Snape made was a gasping wheeze. At almost any other time, the sight of Professor Snape lying on the floor, twitching, would have been considered amusing. Now, it just seemed sad.
Dumbledore sighed heavily, like he had been expecting this, then gestured to Madame Pomfrey. She came in swiftly, wand ready, and with a quick charm was floating Snape out of the room. Everyone watched, silent, until the Potions Master was gone. Then, as if they had rehearsed the motion, they all turned to look at Dumbledore in unison.
"I think Mr. Potter will make a great DADA teacher," Professor McGonagall said. The tension gone, all of the other professors began to expound upon their own opinions on the matter.
After a few moments, Dumbledore raised his hands to silence them. "Now, on to the next order of business," he said. "There is another position at Hogwarts that has only recently become available. I have looked far and wide to find a suitable replacement."
"And what position is that?" Professor Flitwick asked.
Dumbledore cleared his throat. "Potions."