Disclaimer: I do not own Batman or any of the characters affiliated with him, all of which are owned by DC Comics.

FYI, this fanfic is dedicated in part to the release of Detective Comics #1000. Keep going strong, Batman!


Lightning strikes the midnight sky into a fever. The winds become whipped up and start spreading across the skyscrapers, intent on taking the domain over. The clown feels it from the rooftop he's perched on, and so snarls with psychotic rage.

"He'll be here!" Joker demands to nobody in particular, except for maybe the winds. "He most definitely will be!"

The night all those years ago surfaces in his mind, when he was draped in red and an unlucky step landed him into his current predicament. Above the toxic ripples is a monster in black, horns on his head while white pupils despise him. Joker's loved him, he's hated him, and he's worshipped him every day since then. Once, he even ripped off his face to make him laugh.

"Bad joke," muses Joker. Then his ear twitches. A step backwards and a shadow sits comfortably away. But his mind is unable to decide if it's the real deal.

"Batman?


In the corner of a university lab, Scarecrow swirls akin to the very icon he bases himself on. The subjects wriggle and stir, bound in their own paranoia. Two more canisters, then he'll be done.

How long until the dynamic duo arises, however?

"You should be more careful, Crane."


Botanical Gardens is darkened under the bloom of the mechanical lighting. Ivy leisures on top of her makeshift throne, gold and living leaves. Another time of her life that she must defend.

And it's through the cries of the roots dug into the foundation that she hears a certain figure in black coming. The Bat.


The rest of Gotham is the same. Another Arkham breakout spells trouble that every villain can use. The Penguin relaxes at Cobblepot Manor, Clayface commands the Gotham Opera. Two-Face and Bane muscle their way into a prestigious bank, a debt felt owed to both. The more colorful crazies cling to obscure limbs of the city. Havoc accompanies them all.

And just as the lot of them believe themselves safe, the Batmen arrive.


Joker isn't stupid. He knows that Batman must've just arrived from beating the rest of his compatriots into submission. That makes him extremely tired – and with nothing left to lose.

"Must feel pretty beat by now, huh, Batsy? Taking out the rest of them can really make your muscles scream."

The one thing that actually scares the Joker then occurs – Batman smiles.

"This funny thing happened, Joker," Batman replies in a shockingly chipper mood. "I have this thing called a support system. As a former sidekick of mine put it, 'sometimes you need to learn to rely on others.'"

The clown's face droops into shock. That is most certainly unfunny.


At least, for criminals like him.

Scarecrow tumbles backward as Batgirl lobs him into unconsciousness. Thankfully, none of the fear gas is broken in his fall from grace.

Poison Ivy puts up a fight herself, but two escrima sticks later, and she's defeated at Nightwing's feet.

Orphan defeats Clayface with a performance worthy of Shakespeare.

Spoiler takes down Riddler in a game of his own making. Algorithms and brain formations be damned.

Robin proves to Penguin that even Cobblepot Manor isn't a safe enough nest for the likes of him.

Red Hood and Batwoman make good use of Bane's strength to knock out Two-Face, and the cash flies about in their moment of glory.

So on, and so forth.


"You're bluffing!" Joker's madness spiraling into absurd deflection.

The smile on Batman's face stretches. "Am I?" Then, as if he willed it, the dark knight's communicator beeps into song from many different paths. Different vigilantes phone off, rattling about the villains and knowing how to defeat them. The smile never leaves his face, which just unnerves Joker.

"I knew that that night you were created all those years ago, you'd want to remind me of someday. Breaking out of Arkham seemed like the appropriate response. I was prepared."

Lip throbbing, all the comedy the Joker had planned come to a screeching halt in his brain. Well, except for one-

"Gaahh! That's not funny!" He lunges forward, a blade in his glove with intent towards the Batman's heart. A few seconds more and he might've gotten there, but a swift black kick gets to him first. The psychopath is sent flying back and lands smack on the cold roof, a flick of some blood ruining his white face.

Batman turns, unsettled but also grateful. "You know that I had him, right?"

"Oh, I do, Bat," the silky voice of Catwoman perpetrates. She winds up to him romantically. "But… It just seemed like the right thing to do. He is crazy."

"Aren't we all?"

"Now, now…don't want you to start getting nutty yourself, do we?" Her fingers twist before jabbing at the Joker. "At least, not in front of chuckles there."

Batman smiles and grips her. "Happy anniversary, cat."

A bat, a cat, and a kiss before an unconscious clown. This sure was a good night for the caped crusaders.