I'm Still Alive but I'm Barely Breathing (A Nick Jonas Story)

Nick's P.O.V

"Hey look everyone it's the loser Jonas!" A jock screams out to everyone as they start to laugh

"Great I just walked into the doors of my school and the abuse starts!" I think to myself

"Why do you even bother coming to school, its not like anyone wants you here." the captain of the football team says with a chuckle

I'm Nick and if you haven't already noticed I'm not the most popular guy at school. In fact I have no friends, no one talks to me , and I get picked on everyday! I don't understand why. I have never done anything bad to anyone. No one ever gave me a chance at this school probably because the difference between my brothers and I. Joe and Kevin also came to lake ford high school , but when they were here they were the star athletes. Joe was captain of the baseball team and the football team. Kevin was captain of the track and field team and he also played soccer. They were the kings of high school! Then there is me, the "loser Jonas" as I am called. I am not on any teams, I don't play any sports and I'm not liked by anyone.

I dash to my locker quickly before all the taunting gets to me. I usually try to block it out and I'm getting good at it but I don't know how much more of it I can take. I put in my locker combination and get my books close my locker and try to get to class. Just as I close my locker I get greeted by my "friend" who kindly knocks my books out of my hand.

"Listen loser I don't know who said you can even be in my hallway but you better watch it! Jonas!" says Taylor who is on the track team.

I quickly grab my books off the floor and run to the only place I can feel safe….the music room. No one really goes into the music room because the music program was cut last year but the room was never used for anything else. I hid in there trying not to think of who I am at school and what I have to go through otherwise I'm gunna start to cry. Yes I understand I am a 17 year old guy and crying is pathetic but a human can only handle so much hurt before they crack and I am way past my breaking point. To keep my mind off of things I grab my notepad and finish that song I have been writing. I finally finish it as the bell rings, then I head to class.

The rest of the day was pretty normal I went to my classes, got picked on, sat alone for lunch and once again worked by myself for lab since there was an uneven amount of kids in the class and someone had to be alone, such a shock that I had to be alone right?

The day was over and I walked home. I open the door quietly trying not to bring attention to the fact that I am home. I walk up to my room to get started on my homework when I bump into Joe.

"Whoa! Watch! Where! Your! Going! Jonas!… actually your not even a Jonas….just watch it and say out of my way!" Joe says as he punches me in the stomach causing me to fall. ( doesn't this sound familiar)

Yeah that's right the abuse continues at home. I'm treated this way at home for the same reason I'm treated this way at school and something else. Where are my parents you may ask? My mother died in a car accident then 5 months later my father died from depression. Kevin and Joe mostly abuse me because they blame me for my parents death. My mom was going to pick me up from my guitar lessons I took when I was younger but I left my guitar back at the place so my mother dropped me home and went back for it and that was the last time I saw her. I miss her so much! Joe and Kevin got me to believe that it really was my fault, maybe if I would have just remembered my guitar my mother would still be here and so would my dad.

I shake the thought from my head as I try to get up, and go in my room before Kevin comes out and he punches even harder than Joe does. I really don't talk to anyone. The rule in the house is don't speak unless I am expected to speak. Since I cant speak at home I guess I made it a habit and I just don't speak at school either. When I am tormented at school I just keep quiet and try to hold myself together.

The rest of my night is the same as usual. I did my homework, I ate dinner in silence according to Kevin I'm lucky if they feed me at all after what I did to this family ( killed my parents). Then I go to sleep I usually bottle up everything until night time when I know I am alone. As pathetic as it is I cry myself to sleep every night just thinking about my life and what it has came to.

My alarm goes off at 6am and I quickly hit the snooze button but it was too late I hear a door slam and I woke up someone. Boy am I gunna get it. My eyes bolt to the door as it swings open and there stand Kevin who is fuming with anger.

"What the hell is your problem!" he screams

I know I am expected to answer so I do otherwise ill just make it worse.

"I-I . m-my alarm, I n-need it to w-wake up f-for school" I stutter

"Oh I'm sorry little Nicky has to w-wake up f-for school". he says mocking the terror I have in my voice.

Kevin comes over to me and grabs my alarm clock and smashes it on the floor. He grabs my shoulders and says " If I get waken up this early again your clock is going to be the only thing broken". Kevin then throws me against the wall as hard as he could.

"Now get ready for school or you will be late." he says as he leaves my room slamming the door on the way out.

What a great way to start the morning.