Barricades
They watch her leave. Again. Every step on the metal stairs, the clang of the door falling shut.
It hurts.
And not that they don't understand; they do. Really. For Dean, it took a little longer to accept it; their mother is not the dream-like version that they imagined her to be. She's just a human being. With flaws and strengths. With fears, hopes, and dreams. Just like everyone else.
They understand, but that doesn't mean it doesn't sting; watching her leave. Again.
Because they tried their best to get to know her, they try to understand her. But does she do the same? After all this time, does she truly understands them–her sons?
Did she honestly understand how Dean felt when his brother died—got torn to shreds in front of his own eyes, to save her?
Has she ever asked Sam himself how he feels about the deal she made?
Do they actually comprehend her completely?
Because she never asked. She never asked about their lives, their hopes, their dreams. Not really. Not enough.
She never attempted to see what they had to go through.
And when they thought she got it; she withdrew again—pushing them away. Seeking security in others, putting up a boundary—keeping them at a distance.
Maybe it's the guilt. Perhaps it's the fear that's still there.
But she's their mother, and they are her sons.
Isn't that enough?
*Incoherent rambling made into a fic*
I guess I'm just disappointed in how the show has handled Mary's storyline. (She and "Bobby"? Pls no.) I've been waiting for the conversation between Mary and Sam about the deal she made the moment she came back. But nope. Nothing. And don't get me wrong, I loved the scene with her and Dean in episode 12x22! But I also really needed a moment like that with her and Sam. I wanted her to try and truly appreciate and understand her boys. Especially Sam.
Mary's character feels just bland to me. I just don't feel it when she's on screen saying things, if that makes sense.
I don't know if this fic made sense. I just tried to put my feelings into it.
All the mistakes are mine.