The Humagus One Shot Rating : Mature
AN: Of course, this fic is AU. Jo owns it not me. There is no violence.
Several hours after Luna dragged Harry into the forbidden forest with two friends they finally let him rest. It had been a strenuous several hours. Harry was asked to invoke the Potter fertility charms then Luna invoked the Ollivander – her mother was an Ollivander she explained - stamina charm. Now they were laying in a small clearing resting.
In her dreamy voice Luna told Harry that he should wear her gift of a butterbeer necklace. He was infested with wrackspurts. Then she handed him another and suggested he gift it to Hermione. With that accomplished they could finally be a couple.
"How can we be a couple? We are best friends only". Harry told her. He did wonder about all the times she had dragged him into a broom closet over the last month. Each time she was strangely different.
"You are so silly Harry Potter. Of course, you are best friends. Without the wrackspurts you would be so much more", she told him.
"Why don't you tell me about our friends?" Harry said changing the subject.
"They are Humagus'. A Humagus is a non-human who can change form into a human. The lovely white blond with yellow eyes nuzzling your ear and occasionally sticking her tongue in is Hedwig", Luna stated.
"And the brunette lovely with large eyes 5 centimeters from mine and droopy ears is Dobby", Harry finished.
"You have exceptional observational skills Harry Potter", Luna gushed.
Again, wanting to change the subject and on to the one about fertility he asked about how many younglings could be expected.
"We only have single births in my lines for as far back as we know", was Luna's answer.
"House elves usually have three to four', Dobby chipped in.
Then Hedwig, "Snowy owls can lay as many as fourteen eggs when food is plentiful. Only three to five when food is scarce. At least that is what I have been told. I was raised as a barn owl".
Harry then asked about how the three of then got together. They did not seem to have any common interests.
"Oh, but we do", Luna corrected him. "Hedwig and I spend much time in the owlery. We discuss human companionship. You are a good human as you share bacon with her when she shows up at breakfast. You also take time to help me find my missing possessions. Then Dobby heard your name come up in conversation a few times, so he joined in. Then when I was recruited to brew Polyjuice potion to trick you into fathering children we decided that we would like your children too".
"Err, who did you brew this Polyjuice potion for and why would they want my children?" Harry wondered.
"The Potter family is the second richest wizarding family in Britain after the Blacks of course", was the answer. "As for who there is Ginny, Millie, Romilda, Denise and Coleen. Millie is such a tenderhearted gentle soul, yet many people only look at her two meters height to judge her"
"Who are Denise and Coleen?" was Harry's next question.
"The Creevey, well, sisters now".
Harry looked at the butterbeer necklace and asked Luna, "Realistically, what chance do I have with Hermione when she learns that eight different girls are having my babies"?
"Are you a Gryffindor or not", was the only answer he received.