SORRY, MR. HUDSON, HONEST!
Disclaimer: If they were mine, we would've avoided the bloody mess.
Spoilers: Only for those who don't know Mac's history
Continuty: Not really
Summary: About dying, and coming back
Genre: Humour/parody
A/N: I AM sorry!
A church in Ottawa, Canada
Reverend Thompson looked up at the man who had entered his office.
"Hello, Mr. Hudson, I see you're back," he said.
Mac Hudson nodded. "Yes. I would like to check out now," he said.
"Come on, then." The priest led the way out into the churchyard. He signalled to a pair of gravediggers to come with them, and they made their way to a tombstone saying
JAMES MACDONALD HUDSON
UNTIL NEXT TIME
The diggers removed the tombstone and started digging up the coffin.
Mac turned to the reverend. "Could you just keep my coffin and marker for me until I die again?" he asked.
"No problem, son. Do you want me to hold of this burial site for you as well?"
"Yes please. I kinda like this spot."
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Alpha Flight headquarters, Toronto,
Walter Langkowski held his glasses up against the light and inspected them before he put them back on. He picked up his pen again.
"Right. So far, we've got Michael down for three dollars, Aurora and Puck for five each, me for four... J-P, care to make a bet?"
Northstar sighed and landed softly, folding his newspaper as he went over to look at Walter's notes. "All right. Put me up for five."
"When and where?" Puck asked.
"Hmmm... Next year in March. Churchill. How? Lesse... Ah, oui. He is engaged in midair combat with a so-far unknown super-villain. A local policeman coming up to help shoots, but hits Mac instead of the crook."
Walter looked up. "No explosion? There's always been an explosion before."
"Ah... Mac avoids, but the bullet damages some of the components in the suit, and...voila."
Walter grinned and wrote it down. "Good. Now, do you lot think..."
He was cut off as Heather opened the door and entered. "What're you doing, people?"
Puck jumped down from his chair and walked over to her. "Nothin', darlin', nothin' at all. Now, I was wonderin'..."
Heather avoided being led out and swirled back into the room. "You were talking about something. What is it that you don't want me to find out?"
Complete silence for perhaps two seconds. Then, in the space of half a second, the window was opened and they heard a loud bang outside as Northstar broke the sound barrier in his effort to get away as fast as possible.
"Coward", Walter muttered.
Aurora patted his shoulder. "Or perhaps just smart. Bonne chance, mon cher." And then she went out the window as well, following her twin.
Walter looked after them, wishing for once that he was super-fast as well, instead of turning into a big, orange, shaggy beast. He was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn't hear Puck's cry of warning before it was too late. Heather had snagged the list.
An awful fifteen seconds followed as Heather's blue eyes swept over the list. Puck had hid somewhere; at his height, that wasn't difficult. Michael kept casting glances at his medicine pouch, wondering if he would have to use it. Walter was considering turning into Sasquatch – after all, over a ton of orangehaired muscles had to be relatively safe – when Heather laughed.
"'When, where and how Mac will die the next time – an Alpha Flight Betting Pool'? Honestly, you could have made up a better name, at least."
Puck looked out from under the armchair.
"Now, really, Eugene," Heather continued, "couldn't you have come up with something better that 'gas explosion'? Walter's is good. 'The suit comes alive and takes over his brain.' I see you've put me up to deliver the coup-de-grace." She looked up at the three cringing men. "Well, you can't top mine. Put me up for ten dollars. It happens exactly one year from now..."
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Mac clicked his way to the SUPERHERONEWS netpage. He found the column called "DeathPoll" and clicked his way in.
The X-Men had the record in "whole team dying". Phoenix had, by far, the "most dangerous rebirth", while Sasquatch was in the lead on both "most new bodies after death" and "most different body after death". Mac was the proud leader of the "people who just can't stay dead" list.
When he looked at another column, he saw that he was in the lead on "name-mess" as well.
At the news column, he found that the X-Men were back from their umpteenth jaunt into space. He resolved to call Logan about a glass for old times' sake.
So long as he didn't die first.
LE FIN