A/N: This is a very random and AU story. I know that the ages are completely wrong, that just happens to be the only way this will work. EvenThe scenes are related in chronological order, but are not evenly spaced.
This story was inspired by an idea of my sister's, an uncomfortable feeling that I could not truly call myself a humorous fan fic writer if I didn't write at least one Estel's Childhood fic, and an uncontrollable impulse to do some Estel bashing.
Estel: (pouting) You just love to bash people, don't you?
Me: (rubbing hands together, cracking knuckles, and leering evilly) Ahahahaha...yes, yes indeed.
Estel: (whining) But why meeeee?
Me: (authoritatively) Be quiet, Estel. Good boys do not throw temper tantrums when they are bashed by their elders. You are lucky to have escaped being bashed for so long.
Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings. That's probably a good thing, because if I did, I would completely murder it. Also, the idea that spawned this fic belongs to my sister...not me. All I own is Alderon, and I wish I didn't own him. I have a feeling he's going to ruin my reputation...
Thanks to Rousdower, my awesome beta.
Younger Than You
by OneSizeFitsAll
Alderon kicked his ball especially far (for an elfling, that is) and squealed as he ran after it.
But he was not the only one to squeal. A younger child, Lord Elrond's foster son, ran out into the street and caught the ball in his chubby arms, beaming and squealing as he did so.
Alderon frowned. "Give it back, Estel," he said, as he snatched it roughly from the toddler.
Estel's lip began to quiver and tears ran down his cheeks.
"Please?" he said, holding out his arms.
"No!" said Alderon.
Estel began to wail.
A window opened above them and Lord Erestor stuck his head out. "Alderon!" he shouted disapprovingly. "Give Estel the ball! You should know better than to make him cry!"
"But I had it first!" said Alderon.
"I don't care who had it first! Remember that he's younger than you, and you should be kind to him! Now give him back his ball!"
"'Tisn't his ball," muttered Alderon, as he grudgingly gave Estel the ball.
Estel's eyes dried suspiciously quickly, and he ran off happily with his new toy.
"Spoiled brat," muttered Alderon.
oOo
"Alderon?" called a small voice, as the door creaked open.
"Go away, Estel!" said Alderon. "I'm trying to read!"
"But 'Rohir and 'Dan have gone hunting, and there's no one to play with me!" whined Estel, plopping himself on the bed beside Alderon.
"Isn't that too bad?" said Alderon. "I guess you just won't have anyone to play with."
Estel's eyes brimmed over with tears, and he began to bawl.
"Alderon?" asked Lindir, popping his head around the door. "What on Middle Earth are you doing to Estel?!"
"Nothing!" said Alderon.
"I don't have anyone to play with!" sobbed Estel. "Alderon won't play with me!"
"Shame on you, Alderon!" said Lindir. "Is it that hard to make a child happy? Remember that he's younger than you. Now go get him to quiet down...Lord Elrond can't concentrate with all this noise going on!"
Lindir disappeared and Alderon put on a puppet show for a beaming Estel.
"Nasty nuisance," Alderon whispered under his breath.
oOo
"I get to jump first," said Estel. "I'm younger!"
Glorfindel had just taught Estel and Alderon how to jump rope… a game they had never seen before. He had then left them with the one rope, to play by themselves.
"No," said Alderon. "I get to jump first...I'm older!"
"Youngest ought to go first," said Estel. "Besides, I'm taller than you now."
"Like one fraction of an inch!" said Alderon. "Besides, height has nothing to do with it! I'm older, so I can tell you what to do, and I'm telling you to let me jump first."
"Let me jump first or I'll thrash you!" said Estel.
"I'd like to see you try!"
Glorfindel was called back to the garden by the sound of shouts and yells. He leapt over a hedge and almost landed on Estel and Alderon, who were rolling over and over, engaged in a desperate fist fight.
Glorfindel quickly separated the two combatants and held them apart by their collars. The two boys glared darkly at each other as he questioned them.
"What is this all about?" asked Glorfindel. "Why are you two fighting like filthy orcs? Eh?"
"Alderon was being selfish!" bawled Estel. "He wouldn't let me jump first!"
"I ought to jump first!" cried Alderon. "Estel gets everything his way!"
"Alderon!" said Glorfindel. "I'm ashamed of you! You ought to have let Estel jump first! Remember, he's younger than you are. Now, give him the jump rope."
Alderon handed over the jump rope. As he did so, he muttered, "Filthy orc."
oOo
"Stay out of my way, Alderon!" said Estel haughtily, as he knocked into the elfling on his way down the hallway...whether by accident or not is questionable. "I'm much too busy to have to be dodging you all over the place."
Alderon stuck out his tongue, but Estel was already gone down the hallway.
Later that day, Alderon was wandering down the hallway when he saw Estel coming, carrying a stack of books which came up past his chin.
"Stay out of my way, Alderon!" Estel called as he drew closer.
Alderon flattened himself against the wall, so as to give Estel as much room as possible. At the last moment, he stuck out his foot into the middle of the hallway.
Estel tripped, lost his balance and teetered for a moment before tumbling to the ground amid a storm of books and papers.
He sat and stared at Alderon, who was pretending to be trying not to laugh, before he set up a howl to wake the dead.
"ADAAAA!" he screamed.
The door to Elrond's office slammed open and the Half-elven Lord himself hurried down the passage towards them and helped his foster son to his feet.
"Estel!" he said. "Are you all right? Is anything broken? Do you need medical attention? Did you hit your head? How did you fall? Do you think you can walk?" He fired the questions at him all in one breath, not waiting for answers.
That was all right with Estel. There was only one question he was interested in answering, anyhow.
"It was Alderon, Ada!" he said, pointing at the elfling. "He tripped me...and he laughed when I fell down!"
"Alderon!" cried Lord Elrond, shock and horror written on every feature. "Is this true?"
"Yes..." said Alderon, not seeing any way out.
"I am disappointed in you, Alderon!" said Elrond, assuming a high and lofty glare, as he always did when lecturing young, miscreant elves. "You should never trip people...you could hurt them very severely, and then I would be obliged to make them better, when I have so many other things that demand my attention. If you must trip someone, at least trip someone your own age. It is disrespectful to trip your elders, and it is unkind and unfair to trip those younger than you. You must remember that Estel is younger than you are. Do you understand me, Alderon?"
Alderon glanced at Estel, who, by this time, was almost a head taller than him. He glanced at the books on the ground. They were Estel's school books. They mostly had titles he could not read, and all of them had titles he did not understand.
"Yes sir," he said.
"Good!" said Elrond. "I trust it shall not happen again!"
He led Estel off to the medicinal closet to find some athelas, and Alderon stared after them.
"Tattle tale," he said.
oOo
"Oh! Alderon!" said Estel, coming up alongside him as he strode down the passage and smiling down at him condescendingly. "I want you to do a favor for me!"
"What is it?" asked Alderon warily. He did not often enjoy the favors Estel asked him to do.
"Well," said Estel, "I'm graduating from college this Saturday, you know."
Alderon hadn't known. He had expected it to be years yet before either of them graduated. Estel was only twenty-two...several years younger than Alderon. Alderon was not going to graduate for quite a few more years.
"Yeah? So what?" asked Alderon.
"I want you to make a speech," said Estel. "After all, you've always been my best friend, besides Elrohir and Elladan. It would be fitting for you to give a little speech at my graduation ceremony."
Alderon did not consider himself to be Estel's best friend. Best enemy, maybe...not best friend. But he did not know how to refuse gracefully.
"Umm..." he said. "I'm not sure how to give a speech, Estel."
"Well," said Estel, "I'm sure I can write one up for you. And then you can just read it at the ceremony."
"I don't really want to," said Alderon doubtfully.
"Why, Alderon!" said Estel. "You wouldn't do a tiny, easy little favor like that for a friend?"
His eyes began to overflow with tears, as he whispered, "Remember that I'm younger than you..."
Alderon looked quickly and saw Gildor coming down the passage towards them.
"Why, Estel!" Alderon said quickly. "If you really care that much about it, I'd be happy to do it. I just thought...yeah...well..."
"So you'll do it?" asked Estel.
"Yes," accepted Alderon, feeling that he was letting himself in for more than he realized.
Estel clapped him on the shoulder and strode off. "Thanks so much, old fellow," he said.
"Hypocrite," murmured Alderon.
oOo
There were more people than Alderon could have imagined possible at Estel's graduation party. His head swam dizzily as he mounted the stage to a podium that was far taller than he was and looked down at the paper Estel had handed him to read.
His heart stopped.
He stared at the page, unable to believe his eyes. He was supposed to read this?
Everyone was looking at him and waiting for him to speak. With bright red cheeks, he began.
I will not write the speech here, because I do not want to submit every individual who reads this story to torture. Suffice it to say, every word in the entire piece was not only unpronounceable, but also less than half the people in the room would have understood it if Alderon had pronounced it correctly.
But less than half the people in the room cared. They were all far too amused by Alderon's terrible reading skills. For the first time, Alderon wished he had kept up with Estel in school. This was obviously the most advanced Westron (there were many non-elven guests present) and Alderon had only the most basic knowledge of the language.
Alderon never remembered how he finished the speech or got through the rest of the evening, but after the guests had either left or retired, he stormed to Estel's room and flung the door open.
Estel was seated on the bed, reading through his diploma. He glanced up and smiled sweetly and condescendingly as Alderon stomped in.
"Ah! Alderon!" he said. "I thought you did a very good job reading your speech...for a older kid."
Alderon leapt at him and the next several moments saw the most glorious fist fight that time has ever beheld.
But the battle ended far to soon with Gildor stomping in and collaring them.
"Alderon! Estel!" he said. "What is this about!"
"Alderon just walked in and punched me," said Estel, looking innocently at Gildor. "I don't know why! I didn't do anything!"
"Liar!" shouted Alderon, almost in tears.
"Alderon!" said Gildor. "You should not pick fights with those who cannot properly defend themselves! You must remember, Estel is younger than you are. Now apologize like a gentleman."
Alderon felt his black eye and looked at Estel, who had barely a scratch.
"Sorry," he muttered. Than he turned on his heel and marched out.
"Sneaking Judas," he fumed.
oOo
"Alderon!" said Estel...or Aragorn, as he was now called, "I just wanted to let you know, I can't give you that begetting day party after all. I'm going away...I'm going on an epic mission to go destroy the ring of doom and cast down evil forever, so I simply haven't the time to arrange a party for an old elfling like you. I hope you understand... I'm simply far too busy."
Alderon could tell he was making fun of him.
"Are you still going to give me a present?" asked Alderon solemnly, his eyes large and sober.
"Yes..." said Aragorn dubiously. "What do you want?"
"I want to go with you to destroy the ring," said Alderon.
Aragorn laughed. "I'm sorry, Alderon," he said, "but that simply isn't possible. You're far too old to go...remember, I'm younger than you are."
His eyes twinkled as he walked away, leaving the elfling to stare after him, disgusted.
"Stuck-up prig!" spat Alderon.
oOo
"Alderon!" called Erestor, hurrying down the passageway after the now finally mature elf and waving a piece of paper. "You've just received a letter from Aragorn...I mean, Elessar!"
"What does it say?" asked Alderon, disinterestedly.
"He says he won't be able to make it to your graduation party..." said Erestor.
"Thank Valar," murmured Alderon.
"...And he invites you to his coronation!" concluded the counsellor.
Alderon stared. "He's getting crowned?" he asked.
"Yes!" replied Erestor, jubilantly. "Are you going to go?"
Alderon thought for a moment.
"Will I have to remember he's younger than me?" he asked.
The End