JASPER
Two months have passed since the Crystal Gems defeated Yellow Diamond. There had been no sign or news coming from Homeworld, leaving them with the constant wonder if they were going to be retaliated against or not.
Jasper kept herself busy, helping to train Steven, and doing other things around Beach City. She liked to keep her mind full of petty tasks and problems, because if she didn't she could feel a darkness ebbing at the edges of her mind. Today she found herself sitting in Garnet's temple room (with permission), staring up at the bubbled Gems. More specifically, at Yellow Diamond's cracked bubbled gem.
It could have been her in one of those bubbles. According to Lapis though, Garnet wasn't going to even let her live when she came to them for help. She didn't hold a grudge though, it wasn't worth her time anymore to think about those things. Garnet and her were... respectable comrades now. Almost like healthy rivals who trained and worked together for the greater good. She still wasn't completely into that superhero mumbo jumbo, but it made Steven happy. If Steven and Lapis were happy, she was happy.
She wasn't allowed to touch any of the bubbles, but it wasn't as if she wanted to. It would be her luck they would pop and some Gem Monster would appear and try to eat her. She stood up and gazed at the open lava pit, watching the bubbling magma with an odd fascination for its power.
The temple door opened behind her, and Garnet stood there, signifying that it was time for her to exit the room. She nodded to Garnet before passing her and entering Steven's room.
"Jasper, just in time!" Steven met her on the warp pad, and stared at her with stars in his eyes.
"What's up, kid?"
"Look what Lapis made for us!"
He held his hands out, showing her a large, round strawberry pie. Her mouth started to water just looking at it. Strawberries were her favorite human food she had tried so far. They sat at the counter and each ate a piece, enjoying the sweet, savory taste.
"Lapis thinks you're avoiding her. Are you mad at her?" Steven asked, between stuffing his face with pieces of pie.
Jasper swallowed what was in her mouth before speaking. "I'm not avoiding anyone."
"I heard her talking to Peridot last night. Sounds to me like you guys have some communicating to do!" He said, smiling at her all innocently.
"What? About what?"
Steven laughed. "You'll have to ask her."
Just then, Lapis and Peridot appeared on the warp pad, chuckling to each other. Jasper shoved the rest of her pie into her mouth before wiping her hands against her pants. She stood up, leaving her empty plate on the counter, and walked towards the front door.
"Jasper!" Lapis called to her, but she pretended not to hear her, picking up the pace and walking quickly towards the front door. She left Steven's house, and ambled down to the beach. She went to the small pier where the 'Gem Sloop' was knocking gently against the wood. She sat down on the edge and stuck her feet into the icy cold water. She gazed at the deep blue ocean, as her mind filled with a dark, tangible vision. It seems she couldn't escape her nightmares, even when she was awake.
Chains of water were bound around her wrists again as she struggled to reach the surface. Someone didn't want to let her go, someone was stronger than she was; holding her down against every urge she had to be free. When she finally reached the surface, she laid bent over on her knees, gasping for breath she didn't even need. She looked up into the eyes of the Gem she loved, Lapis Lazuli.
"I can't let you go, you can't hurt Steven. I have to do this for him." Lapis said, tightening the grip on Jasper's wrists, pulling her down into the water once more, leaving only her arms and head hovering above the waves. She couldn't help but notice how tired the blue Gem looked, or how ratty her dress was.
"Lapis, please let me go! You know I won't hurt him!" She begged, using every muscle in her body to try and lift herself up from the ocean Gem's grasp, but Lapis wouldn't relent.
"I told you never! I'm never, letting you go!"
She was pulled under then, water filling her lungs, and another water chain tightened around her neck. Her body glowed white with light as she changed into an amorphous blob; then suddenly she wasn't herself anymore, she was Malachite. Her conscience boiled the ocean with hatred; her heart was full of anger, and the feelings were suffocating her.
"How could I think this could ever work? How could I think I could get past this feeling deep within my soul?" The large fusion monster spoke to herself, as her hair whipped around her furiously with the pulls of the ocean.
"Because I love you, Jasper."
Malachite looked down and saw Lapis flying in front of her, smiling warmly at her.
"L-Lapis?"
Jasper touched her face, the after effect of Lapis slapping her still stung deeply into her facial tissue. She focused her vision in front of her, and saw the real Lapis hovering in front of her. Was she glaring at her?
"You're avoiding me! I want to know why!" Lapis demanded, the water behind her shot backwards as she waved her hands around angrily.
"I'm not avoiding you." She said simply.
"Please. That's why, just now, you immediately stood up and walked out of the house when I returned with Peridot?"
"I..."
"You... you do realize that the last time you've given me any sort of affection, physical or not, was one whole month ago? It makes me think that you think I'm rotten! Did what I say really freak you out that much? What about when I asked you to fuse with me, so we could enjoy each other emotionally for a while? No. You left angrily, without talking to me at all. I thought we were past this. You've forced me to hang out with Peridot, just to enjoy talking to someone of my own kind, what with the other three off saving the world all the time."
Jasper turned her face away, but Lapis grabbed it with both hands and forced her to look back at her.
"Tell me what's wrong!" She exclaimed; her eyes were glistening with newly forming tears.
"I can't! I can't tell you, without the fear of losing you completely!" She shouted, squinting her eyes to keep her emotions under check.
Lapis didn't say anything in response to her. She just hovered there, looking like Jasper's words were destroying her slowly on the inside.
"I just... don't..." Lapis sighed, touching her toes down the surface of the ocean, standing on top of it with her hydrokinesis. "I wanted you to feel like you could tell me anything, but lately, it really feels like you... hate me..."
She did not hate the ocean Gem. She was afraid of her. She's been haunting her nightmares now, ever since that one fateful conversation after Yellow Diamond had been defeated. Even when she was fully awake, she had thoughts of what could have happened if Lapis would have tried to bind them under the ocean, keeping her locked there forever. These visions and nightmares happened so frequently, she almost believed it was something that was meant to happen to her. She wasn't supposed to be happy; she wasn't supposed to feel love...
Malachite was a monster.
No, Malachite could have been a monster.
"Lapis..." Jasper stood and ran her hand through her hair nervously. It was time to do something she should have done a long time ago. It was time for her to own up, and face her fears. She held her auburn colored hand towards Lapis, and took a deep breath. "Lapis, fuse with me."
Lapis clenched her fists and her teeth together, holding her arms tightly against her sides. She glared angrily at the hand Jasper had offered her.
"Lapis, it's always been your choice. This way, you can see what's been bothering me."
Lapis made eye contact with her, and unclenched her fists. She took her hand, and they walked off the pier onto the beach. Lapis pointed her toes out towards the sand, and raised her hands above her head, looking towards Jasper from under her bangs. Jasper took her around the waist and pulled their bodies together as they became synchronized. Lapis leaned her body back, reaching her cerulean hands towards the stars, and sliding her leg up Jasper's thigh. Their gem's glowed, and their bodies fused together to form Malachite.
MALACHITE
Malachite fell to her hands and knees as all of Jasper's fears and worries poured into their shared conscience. It was more of a feeling of terror that enveloped her mind, not coherent words or specific context. The strength of those fears threatened to shove them apart, but she was able to keep herself together for now.
"I'm a monster."
"No, I'm not a monster! This isn't real!"
"You really think I hate you..."
"You're stressed, you just need to relax! I can help us relax."
Malachite gripped the sand beneath her, letting the coarse sand sift between her fingers as she leaned back to sit on her calves.
"You should have told me about your nightmares. Are you really afraid of me?"
Malachite stood, and gripped her face as it tried to defuse again.
"What are you digging so deeply for? I told you that you could see what I have to share with you, but stay out of there!" Malachite dropped her hands to her sides at that moment, her inner thoughts going silent. She took one look at the sky, and then she ran.
She ran until she couldn't anymore, until she fell to her knees in exhaustion. She wasn't physically incapable; she was just mentally drained. She couldn't keep their form together any longer. She reached her hand out, lightly plucking a small pink flower out of its roots in the grass.
"I am not a monster." She reiterated to herself. She defused, splitting back into Jasper and Lapis.
LAPIS
As Lapis separated from Malachite, she brought her hand down across Jasper's cheek, and down against her own chest. Jasper had felt such extreme terror in her nightmares, that it had prevented her from committing to any social interactions with her. She was afraid of her, and it made her heart feel heavy in her chest. She turned on her heel and walked a few feet from the orange Gem.
She had also dug too deep into the other's conscience, discovering a painful story she didn't want to recall right now.
"I wasn't ready for you to know. I don't know if I'll ever be ready." Jasper's hoarse voice spoke behind her, and she didn't turn, but continued to look up at the stars.
"I know. I'm sorry." She turned, and looked up into Jasper's glowing yellow eyes. "It was just a fleeting thought. I didn't mean..."
"I'm not mad, Lapis. It's okay. I should have just talked to you. I never should have avoided you. Or lied to you. Or forced you to spend time with Peridot."
Lapis giggled a little, thinking about the neon green Gem who was now her good friend. She actually had been very consoling, in her own way.
"Can we... hug now?" She asked, tossing away her thoughts about Peridot.
Jasper stared at her. She became disheartened, but that feeling disappeared when Jasper picked her up with one hand behind her neck, and one hand under her knees. The larger Gem squeezed Lapis so tight; if she would have been human she might have suffocated. Lapis pressed her face against Jasper's breast, so she could listen to the other's steady heart beat.
They laid down in the plush grass, facing each other in a close embrace; just enjoying each other's company. Lapis missed this; after being away from it for so long, these small snuggles felt like a new experience to her. She herself had been struggling a lot since the clash, but she chose to put her feelings aside so she could figure out what was wrong with Jasper.
She didn't even think Steven knew that she took all the mirrors from the city and destroyed them violently, while reliving her torture from Yellow Diamond. She was a mess; they both were.
Lapis turned on her other side, and she was very surprised when Jasper pulled her against her tightly like she was afraid she was going to leave. Lapis held onto Jasper's arm and closed her eyes.
She was suddenly there, in a living nightmare. Why did she have chains around her wrists? She followed the chains with her eyes, and saw they were connected to the arms of Jasper, who was crouched down, staring at her reflection in the minty greens of the sea below them. She touched the orange Gem's shoulder lightly.
Jasper whipped around with violent movements, striking out at her in absolute terror. She stumbled back, rubbing her arm where Jasper had made contact.
"No! You can't keep me trapped here!" Jasper screamed, her voice was distorting; almost making it sound like her own voice was screaming back at her.
"I don't want to trap you here, you've trapped yourself here." Lapis said softly. If this were somehow really happening, now was her chance to try and help her.
"That's not possible. She isn't possible without you!"
Lapis strode back over to the disheveled Gem and knelt down in front of her. She couldn't stand seeing the mistrust and anger glistening in her eyes.
"Why do you hate me so?"
"I love you." She said with as much compassion and feeling behind it as she could.
"Love... You love me..."
"Yes, Jasper. I will love you now and forever; and always after that. There's no reason for you to be afraid anymore."
To dispel any more negative feelings Jasper may have had, Lapis brought their lips and bodies together in a familiar, loving embrace. The water chains melted, and their kiss deepened; the gesture caused their gems to glow again.
"When I'm with you, we can overcome anything. Together, Forever."
MALACHITE
They were Malachite once more, lying in that same spot in the grass; arms wrapped around herself like she was hugging herself. She sat up, and ran her hand though her hair. She started to giggle to herself. She felt so good, like a giant weight was lifted off of her chest; like she could breathe again. She looked down at herself, noting her change in height. She stood, and figured she was about as tall as Varisite now. She put her hands on her hips, and looked up at the now baby blue sky. There was something she had been longing to do, for a long time. She wanted to fly. The gem on her back lit up, and four large water wings shot from her back. She flew into the sky, and soared through the clouds, determined to just feel while she was fused.
She landed on the beach in front of Steven's house, where Steven was practicing summoning his shield.
Peridot was chilling on the deck, doing something on her fingerscreen. She looked up immediately when the fusion dropped from the sky in front of them. Malachite sat in the sand and stretched out her legs, pulling down the skirt she was wearing.
"I take it you guys talked." Peridot stated monotonously, pulling her fingers from the screen form, back into the shape of a regular hand.
"Peri." Malachite smiled, nodding towards the green Gem.
"Malachite!" Steven cried out, looking at her with stars in his eyes. "I haven't seen you in forever! Does this mean you're going to have a baby now?"
Malachite's smile instantly disappeared, and her body poofed, sending Jasper and Lapis hurtling into the ground. They both sat up, and looked at each other with flushed faces.
LAPIS
"Wait, that's what you meant when you said 'I want to take the next step in our relationship', I thought you meant constant fusion, like Garnet! It freaked me out!" Jasper gasped, crawling over to Lapis and taking her hands. "I know some Gems like to be fused all the time, but fusion for me... I'll do it every once in a while... but I just... I like to hold you Lapis, physically. All that mental stuff, I can only take so much... But you... why didn't you just say you meant... gemlings..."
Lapis' face was a shade of blue so dark, she thought she was going to faint; it felt as if all the blood in her body had rushed directly into her face. She felt a heavy pressure building up in her gut, and she couldn't contain her laughter. She howled in a fit of giggles, and when she looked at Jasper's face, she couldn't help but laugh harder.
"Y-You... Clod..." She managed to say.
Peridot face-palmed herself, and leaned back again, sticking her nose back into her fingerscreen. Lapis swore she heard something about clod's escape her mouth. She took a deep breath, to try and steady her breathing.
"See you guys just need to communicate better, like I said! Awe..." Steven swooned, clasping his chubby hands together and looking at them.
"Steven!" They both yelled, causing Peridot to giggle fiendishly from her perch on the deck.
"Yes, Jasper, I've been thinking about gemlings. I've been thinking it would be great if we were to raise one together." Lapis said, eyeing her curiously.
"You know they're little monsters right?"
"I think it'd be cute."
"I don't think we need one."
"I want one!" She insisted.
Jasper puffed out her cheeks. "No."
"Yes!"
"Absolutely not!"
Now Lapis was pouting. She was irritated. All of their problems had been because of some stupid misunderstanding, and now that she was trying to talk to the orange Gem, she wouldn't even listen to her. She jumped up and clenched her fists. "Well, if you won't give me one... I'll just have to... make Peridot give me one! Ugh!" She stomped away, leaving Jasper super confused, and super drained.
Author's Note: Hurray! I finally started this! Man, that Steven Bomb broke my heart, I had to write this chapter as soon as I watched that last episode... Our poor bara wife... And Lapis of course. I need all the fluff I can get to bandage my bleeding soul. Anyways, like always, I'm open to suggestions for things you might wanna see; and I will answer questions if people are confused about stuff. Pleasant reading, and thanks for reading!