A/N: Stay with me throughout the chapter!
It's at funerals when one usually realizes how much another person meant to the world, to their family, to their friends… to all of those whose lives were touched by that individual. It's unavoidable to feel such emptiness and yet a strange feeling of warmness once one looks around and finds so many familiar faces commemorating the life that has now come to an end.
Funerals should help to cope. To process. But it's not always the case.
"Another Luthor six feet under" a man in suit said "two more to go and the world should be safe" he laughed cynically, ignoring that in front of him laid the tombstone.
"You know which partners got to be the largest stakeholders?"
"For CatCo or for L-Corp?"
"I have my eyes set on CatCo"
"Haven't you heard?" a third business man cut in "Lena Luthor bought all her actions back a month ago. She was in absolute control of all of it by the time of the last attack on her life"
"So, who's going to inherit her empire?"
"Let's wait for the end of the week when they open her will"
"Hoping to find your name in it?"
"Please. She had no one. We are all here for the same reason. See which weak link she thought had potential in her company is getting a share and bribe them out of it"
"I'll drink to that" the other two cheered while walking away in that cloudy afternoon.
There was not a single friend in that funeral. With the chaos and mayhem left after the news of her passing, L-Corp and CatCo employees had to stay behind to prevent the value of the company to fall.
By the time all the sharks had left the courtyard a figure descended from the skies and landed softly before the memorial. The explosion had been so great there were no remains to burry, so the casket had been empty, so there was really no one to say goodbye to.
Supergirl extended her hand to trace with her fingers the name that had been engraved in the stone.
"Lena" she chocked "I'm sorry… I'm so…I should had been faster… if only I… please forgive me" she looked down feeling the tears roam freely "I need you…please…Lena" she crumbled to her knees hugging the cold tombstone to her chest, giving a last hug she hadn't had the opportunity to. Always so caught up in her hero life and in her mundane routine…now it was too late to amend anything, she was gone.
Supergirl knew death. It seemed like she was being chased by it. Her home planet, her parents… yes, by all extent she knew death, but she didn't knew funerals as much. She heard people could heal at them, but she had never felt more broken.
The rain started pouring over her as she inhaled deeply and shouted to the sky, blasting her rays to the clouds until she felt faint. Then she just cuddled in the cold marvel and waited under the fake embrace the stone with Lena's name provided. But nothing happened. Just darkness taking over the day.
She tossed and turned. Kicking and whimpering while still asleep. The nightmares had gotten worse ever since that night. She got the call, she was used to the drill. Lillian was determined to get her daughter on her side or just the same to end her, but someone had beaten her to it. A bomb covered in led; she didn't see it, obviously. Right under her nose and she was unable to prevent such a catastrophe. The wave of the explosion had thrown her miles away, by the time she was back into her senses there was nothing left to do. She went back to the site, used her x-ray vision, scrambled in the dirt, turned every rock in search of a sign but…by the end she just had to give up and face the fact that she had failed.
Suddenly, the sound of a ticking became more present. She should have at least heard the mechanism that night, why didn't she? All she could hear was Lena's heartbeat, it was fast paced, but not alarmed, not scared. She trusted Supergirl so blindly not to feel a trace of worry. It was always like that, every time she showed up in the scene, Lena's heart would steady itself again and the adrenaline rush would pass, allowing the CEO to come up with a plan. They were the perfect team. And Kara had failed her.
The ticking got louder and louder until…
Kara opened her eyes in a jolt shooting her heat vision to the ceiling leaving yet another burn mark up there. She felt the sweat running down her face and she came back to her senses. She cleaned her forehead and whipped her eyes. Her hearing then registered the sound. It was her phone, a call from Alex. She had avoided her older sister in a monumental fashion. When Alex hadn't showed up at the funeral, Kara simply decided to put some distance between herself and all DEO related. She needed a break from being a hero, for being a reported having to cover the news over and over again, having to be a living being dealing with the loss of her best friend.
When the insistent calling went on, Kara resigned herself to answer the phone. She wished she had picked it up the last time Lena called, asking to have lunch that day. But she had let it go to voicemail and now that was one of the few reminders she had of her.
"Alex" Kara said shortly, surprised by the hoarse tone of her voice. It was raspy and clearly showed how much she had cried and screamed.
"Hey" she said softly, still a hint of urgency didn't go unnoticed by Kara "Are you home?"
"Yeah" she rubbed her eyes tiredly "I was…sleeping"
"You are having nightmares" Alex said what was supposed to be a tender question in a deductive and preoccupied fashion.
"I'm fine" Kara lied knowing fully she wouldn't be for a long time to come.
"Listen…" her voice quivered "I…need you to come to the DEO right now"
"Alex, please. I'm not ready to put the boots and cape on yet"
"I know. Believe me, I wouldn't ask you unless it was absolutely necessary" she said and Kara knew something was wrong. Alex sounded tense and very much unlike her confident self. She sounded guilty and torn. The idea that maybe she was in danger crossed Kara's mind.
"I'll be there in two minutes" she hanged the phone and raced to her closet. Her suit was hanging there. She had thought of quitting, but perhaps she would need the uniform one last time.
She dashed inside the building. The immaculate image of the Girl of Steel made an impression in all the agents that saw her come in, she looked as fierce and ready as always. But the emptiness in her eyes was the one thing she couldn't disguise.
Supergirl walked down the stairs avoiding gazes, focusing on her hearing instead to find Alex. She was talking to J'onn apparently.
"It had to be done" J'onn said trying to reason.
"She's never going to forgive us" Alex answered brokenly.
"I'm here" Kara announced putting her hands on her hips, getting more than a few concerned gazed in return "what's the status?" she asked, but all eyes deflected hers "you asked me to come for an emergency" Kara pointed firmly.
"It's not as much an emergency as a…mission update" Alex provided, her blood pressure spiking.
"Supergirl" J'onn walked towards "I'm about to debrief a secret operation we have been orchestrating for a few months now" he said resolutely "code name Ashes"
Kara nodded slowly giving a sign of understanding.
"We have been working side by side with a certain individual to ensure the success of this plan. Only a very few of us today had the whole information. You were kept in the dark for your own security and to avoid your unnecessary involvement in the matter. One wrong move could have meant the lost all progress"
"What was this mission about?" she asked bluntly, feeling too demarcated and confused to care for formalities "Who was your secret partner?" Kara pinched the bridge of her nose frowning as her mind was playing tricks with her again. The faint sound of a pounding getting closer and louder.
"That would be me"
Kara snapped her eyes open at the sound of that voice…one she thought she wouldn't hear again.
"Lena" she locked eyes, being captive by those emerald ones. She was without a doubt her Lena. Suddenly a stronger emotion that surprise took over her, a raw and rotten ire that began to take over "I saw you die!" she began "I flew past the barrier of sound and even then I wasn't able to reach you!" she shouted walking towards, her eyes beaming with her heat vision "I believed you to be death!"
"If my enemies thought I was gone, they wouldn't try to take me out themselves. My mother thinks I'm death, now I can work freely from her graze"
"Why didn't you told me?!" she demanded, her voice cracking with anger and despair.
"I couldn't tell my own friends!" Lena countered, clearly having her own demons on the matter "Kara doesn't know, James, Winn… it was a sacrifice"
"Sacrifice?" She repeated "I thought I've lost you, that I haven't been strong enough to protect you" she walked forward, forcing Lena to take some steps behind.
"Hey, at ease" J'onn tried to step between them, but Kara moved him, not even looking his way.
"I'm sure you don't deal well with losing a life under your watch, that's why we couldn't tell you. People had to believe it" Lena pointed a bit harshly.
"You just see that, don't you? The loss of a life under National City's hero?" Kara's voice waved "And just how did you expect me to handle not having my best friend?" she pierced her with a hurt look "To walk into L-Corp without you behind that desk smiling my way? Or seeing you at CatCo? Getting lunch? Talking on the couch?" her voice cracked as her eyes shimmered in a way Lena knew by heart.
"Kara?" the Luthor whispered looking at the Super in a new way.
The Girl of Steel turned around to storm out, her fists clenched, her eyes watery.
Alex tried to reach for her sister's shoulder "Hey, come on let's get you-" but Kara shrugged it off.
"You lied too, Alex" she said bitterly.
"It's not that simple, it had to be done" she tried to reason unsuccessfully.
"You didn't come to the apartment once" Kara shot a hurt glare "you knew I thought it was real and you couldn't come in person?"
Alex's mouth hanged open, but nothing came out.
"Yeah, that's what I thought"
By the time Alex blinked, there was just a blur of red and blue followed by the wind...
Fear not, I intend to give it a follow up ;) The 'when' might be unknown, though.
P.S. consider that Kara feels hurt, confused and betrayed, so she might act upon those feelings first, bear with me! :p Thank you for your support!