Disclaimer: The characters of and any other references to Kingdom Hearts, SquareEnix, or Disney are not my ideas. Just so you know that.
Good day. This is my first story on the website, so please do not criticize me. The premise of this story is a Q&A with the characters of the Kingdom Hearts series for the first time. Unfortunately, the only three willing subjects were Sora, Goofy, and Xemnas. SO, by means of force, we managed to ALSO get Xaldin, Roxas, Ansem the Wise, Riku, and Sephiroth. Our methods are none of your business, so any one who asks any questions will be…taken…care of. It's up to you, readers, through your reviews, to ask a chosen character(s) any question your heart desires. So, may the questioning begin!
Sora: So, Goofy, are you sure you can do this?
Goofy: while inhaling in a paper bag Of course! What do you think I am shtupid?
Xemnas: …Indeed.
Goofy: Hey, I am not a idjumamit!
Xemnas: …Of…course you are not. I am merely stating that your IQ is similar to that of the current president of the United States, which is, regrettably…err…
Sora: Pathetic? Down in the dumps? Laughable? Unbelievably low?
Xemnas: Well, my word of choice would be "horrendous" but yes, that as well.
Goofy: with noticeable sparks emanating from his head Um…OK.
Ansem: This is unforgivable! Release me from this hellhole of a studio at once! Do you know who I am? I am-
Riku: A friggin' asshole?
Xaldin: Ooohhhhh, diss!
Roxas: You want some ointment for that BURN?! (all laugh, except Ansem)
Sephiroth: ...
Goofy: Whatsa matter, Sephiroth? Cat gotcher tongue?
Riku: You haven't said a word. Skulldevil (well duh, he's Sephiroth. he's probably thinking about Cloud, his ex.) SHUT UP, let me finish!
Sephiroth: ………..
Sora: …OK…what's that all about? Who are you talking to?
Riku: Oh, just Skulldevil, the voice who controls my life via my brain. (Pause, everybody backs away from Riku)…What? (they think your crazy, you friggin nut job.)
Hey, I'm not a nut job, you whore! (…….. do I have to remind you about your problem? I can talk to other people, you know.)
Sephiroth: ………….
Xaldin: Xemnas, can I PLEEEAAASEE kill him?!
Xemnas: No, it would ruin the plot. Besides, the Destroyer would be upset with us…
Axel: (randomly opens door) Hey, is Roxas here?
Roxas: (horrified, leaps behind Sora) whispers I'm not here…
Sora: Why, Roxas?
Axel: (releases a girly squeal, runs over to Sora and kicks him aside) ROXAS! Oh, my love! I've found you at long last!
Riku: …I knew there was a good reason I didn't like this guy…(I always knew you had weird friends, but gay? eh, whatever. so, when you gonna tell Sora?) SHHH! No one knows about that yet! You better not tell him, or I swear-(swear you'll what? I'm a disembodied voice, you Brockton!)…Brockton?(……… don't ask.)OOOOK…
Xemnas: …I'm surrounded by idiots…
Sephiroth: The itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout…down came the rain and SENT THE EIGHT-LEGGED BASTARD TO THE SEVENTH CIRCLE OF HELL, WHERE IT BELONGS!!! AAAAAAAHHHH-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!
Everyone else: …WTF?!
Dubya: …Sorry. We're ready for your questions now. Please allow up to three days before responses, as the characters seem a little…preoccupied. And remember: for responses, you need to review! Remember, if you don't review, I will send Skulldevil after you, and he shall terrorize your mind for ETERRRRNITYYYYYY……..(damn straight!!!)