A/N: My friend put up her version of this called What Really Happened at the Malfoy Manner already and she helped me write this too.

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter and if I did, why would I be writing fanfiction

This takes place at the Malfoy Manor in the first chapter of HPDH.

Voldemort: Lucius I don't see a reason for you to have a wand anymore. You can just give it to me instead.

Lucius: all of a sudden grows Gary Coleman cheeks Wutchoo talkin' 'bout Voldemort!?

Voldemort: Aah so you want to be the next contestant on my new game show "Who Wants To Die A Most Painful Death" Lucius?

Lucius: Oh no no nooo what I mean was do you want mine, Narcissa's, or Draco's wand—or no wait you can just have all three of them.

Draco: in extremely girly voice but like father!

Lucius: Do you want me to take your "Back to the Fuchsia" nail polish away?

Draco: no but, like Pansy said like "Cherry Berry Delight" goes better with my Alabaster skin tone and like stuff you know.

Draco's pink Razor starts ringing playing the song Barbie Girl

Draco: Oh hold on Voldy I've gotta take this call. OMG hey Brittany! Girl what's up! What?! He broke up with you! That's—

Voldemort: Draco snatches phone from Draco if you keep talking on your precious cell phone during meetings I'll pop the rhinestones off of it pops a rhinestone off the letter A in Draco

Draco: hey like that makes my name look like droco!

Snape: giggles like a girl

Draco: I wouldn't be laughing last year I saw you in your office at Hogwarts in McGonagall's girdle dancing to Fergie, and I took pictures and sent them to the whole school.

Snape: That's why everyone would point and laugh last year!

Voldemort: Okay I look better in "Back to the Fuchsia", and I dance better in McGonagall's girdle to Fergie now let's get back to killing Potter.

Draco: but I don't wanna kill Harry he's hot—um I mean let's take the little stinker out to the school yard and beat the crap out of him.

Yaxley: Oh my God Peter I love the shade of green of your robes they're so Slytherny. Where did you get them?

Peter: Oh Yaxley Thank you. I forced Madame Malkin into making them for me.

Draco: They would look better on me.

Peter: You wanna take this outside kid?!

Draco: Like yeah I need to work on my tan.

Voldemort: DOES'NT ANYONE WANT TO KILL HARRY POTTER?!

Draco: Gawd don't go mouldy Voldy.