It WAS a normal day in Gensokyo. Bass was writing yaoi about X and Zero while Sakuya fantasized about her mistress. There seemed to only be one innocent person there. Or should I say, innocent cabbit...

"Hello Guntz!" The cute furry cabbit greeted his friend Guntz outside of the Scarlet devil mansion.

"Oh... Hey Klonoa. What's up?" Guntz looked down to Klonoa.

"Wellllllll... The sky is up!" Klonoa said in a innocent voice.

Nearby, Sonic the hedgehog was running at the speed of sound (or however fast he freaken runs). He saw Klonoa and Guntz talking near him.

"I'm bored. They probably won't mind if I eavesdrop on them." Sonic shrugged and walked closer.

"So Guntz. Bass was talking to me the other day about this thing called xxx. What's xxx?"

Guntz nearly died. To hear the little cabbit say that was surprising, but it was normal.

"Well Klonoa... erm..." Guntz was thinking of a way to explain until suddenly Sonic jumped out of the bushes.

"DID YOU JUST SAY XXX?!" Sonic screeched at Klonoa like a banshee.

"...Yes." Klonoa answered.

Sonic grunted. "Young man! I need to teach you a lesson about saying words like that!"

Sonic dragged Klonoa into a random bathroom and washed Klonoa's mouth with soap and water.

"GUUUNNNNTTTZZZZ!" Klonoa cried as he ran back to his wolf friend. "My mouth was violated!"

Guntz face palmed. "Klonoa... My little cabbit... Please, don't say that word anymore. It's for your own good..."

"Okay!" Klonoa promised and walked off.

/

Klonoa happliy skipped through the grass thinking about eating ice cream. Suddenly he ran into Bass.

"HEY! WATCH WHERE YOUR GOING ASSHOLE!" Bass was about to unleash a whole butt whipping of rapid fire shots on Klonoa until he saw who he was. "Oh... Its just you..."

"Hello Bass! Nice to see you too!" Klonoa cheerfully greeted him.

"Hey Klonoa. Did you ask Guntz about that xxx?" Bass giggled evily.

"Yes. But then Sonic washed my mouth with soap and water and Guntz told me to never say that word again!"

"Aw come on kid! Say it one more time. For good 'ol Bass!"

"But! But! But I promised!"

"SAY IT!"

At that moment Sonic jumped out of the bushes and kicked Bass in the head. That one hit knocked him out.

"KLONOA! I TOLD YOU NEVER TO USE THAT WORD AGAIN!"

"But I didn't say xxx!"

"YOU JUST F**KING DID! AND NOW THAT I HAVE UNLIMITED SOAP, YOU WILL REGRET EVERYTHING YOU LIVED FO-"

Sonic was then shot a million times in the face by Guntz.

Guntz and Klonoa then started running as fast as they could, but Sonic was right behind them.

"Hey guyssssss!"

A lower-pitched womens voice rang in Guntz's ears. They looked up and saw a girl with enormous pants.

"Howdy!" She said as she picked the cabbit and wolf up and flew out of the scene.

"Hey! Who the hell are you?!" Guntz demanded. "No one is allowed to touch my body like that!"

"I'm Gensokyo's phoenix, Fujiwara no Mokou! I'm here to save your life because I have no life!" The phoenix said cheerfully.

"Ohhhh! Hello Mokou!" Klonoa smiled.

"I hate you already..." Guntz snorted.

"I have a feeling we will be great friends!" Mokou exclaimed as she hugged the two.

"I'll barf in my mouth..." Guntz thought.

/

"So where can we go? It has to be a place where Sonic doesn't know..." Klonoa thought.

"How about Breezegale? That's where you live right?" Guntz suggusted.

"Breezegale? What the heck is a Breezegale?" Mokou wondered.

"But either way it would take days to walk there... We need a chaos emerald!" Guntz said.

"But Guntz you can't use a chaos emerald!" Klonoa remined him.

"This is fiction! Anything can happen! Anything..." Guntz put on a cheerful smile.

"...I think I'm suddenly gay..." Mokou said.

/

When they got into Klonoa's house Mokou immediately flopped on the floor and fell asleep.

Guntz just sighed. "At least its just you, me, and the creepy pedo phoenix girl..."

And of couse he spoke to soon. A young women bursted into the house.

"NO!" Guntz yelled.

"Scary lady..." Klonoa frowned.

"MOKO-TAN! WHERE ARE YOU?!" The girl called. She frowned when she saw Mokou sleeping on the coutch. "MOKO-TAN! THERE IS A WEIRD DUDE WHO SAYS HIM NAME IS SHADOW WHO IS HARRASING LITTLE BOYS!"

Mokou forced one eye open and saw her friend, she grunted and fell back asleep.

"Mokou... Please wake up..." Klonoa shook her awake.

Mokou sat up. "Look, Keine. Deal with it yourself kk?"

"But... The Teletubbies are attacking the village too..." Keine said.

"WHAT THE F**KEN HELL?!" Mokou screeched.

"Jk." Keine smiled. "I just want you in my bed..."

"...Ohhhh.." Mokou stood up from the coutch and licked her lips. "Come over here you naughty thing..."

"Guntz? What are they doing?" Klonoa shivered.

"That my dear friend, is yuri."

"Guntz, what's a yuri?" Klonoa asked.

"Something that your too young to know about." Guntz said. "Let's go upstairs..."

/

"I never knew you had two beds..."

"Well when Huepow was staying here a couple months ago. He took up a lot more space then usual so I bought another bed." Klonoa answered.

"Well ok then..." Guntz said as he flopped down on the other bed.

"Goodnight."

"Night." Klonoa responded as he flipped the light switch off.

...

"Hey Guntz?"

"Yeah?"

"What's a penis?"

Guntz stood stright up from his bed and turned on the light. "Uhhhh... Well... erm... It's another word for a pellow?" Guntz lied as he held up a pellow.

"Oh! Ok!" Klonoa said just before he plopped down on the bed.

/

It was morning time.

"Hee hee... Guntz is snuggling with is penis!" Klonoa giggled at the sight of Guntz hugging his pellow.

Guntz woke up a bit after. "Morrning alheady?" He said in a groggy way.

As they both walked downstairs they saw Keine and Mokou making out.

"AW COME ON! GET A FREAKEN ROOM PEOPLE!" Guntz exclaimed. "WHY DOES STUFF LIKE THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN IN MY HOUS-"

"B-But Guntz this is my house..." Klonoa interupped.

"AW SHUTTTT UPPP!"

"Guntz doesn't love me anymore!" Klonoa cried as he ran off.

"...SH*T!" Guntz cursed.

/

"I need to find Klonoa... Grrr..." Sonic grunted to himself as he walked closer to the SDM.

/

This is the most messed up thing I've ever written...

So me and my friend are doing another collab about things we've talked about, and this happened. Her name is MegamanRockmanfan101 if you want to check her fanfictions out. Half of the credit goes to her for the story ideas.

Welp hope you enjoy this crud.

(I DO NOT OWN KLONOA, MEGAMAN, SONIC, OR TOUHOU PROJECT NOR DO I MAKE MONEY WITH THEM. THIS FANFICTION IS FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY.)

Bye bye ;)