Very deep in the woods of a lot hectares lived a small bear called Winnie the Pooh,

Who enjoyed eating honey, and also its after effects, when he sat on the loo.

He said, "Isn't it funny, how bears like their honey, which makes their bowels notably runny;

And then out come the sounds of those methane emissions, when bears take their seats on the dunny."

Then he thought, "If a little bear's bottom can make such a sound, when he's taking a dump;

I imagine the noises would be quite a lot, when they come from a big Heffalump.

I would love to record all the crackles of smackerals' legacies from such a beast,

From the moment when after effects are produced, in response to a well enjoyed feast."

He went calling on Piglet and Tigger and Eeyore and Rabbit, and said, "Oh how good

It would be to store Heffalump wind bursts on film; but in AA Milne's fictional wood

Are no cameras or other recording devices to capture what others let rip.
But Walt Disney, who puts us on screen, has resources. Perhaps we should take a long trip."

So with Christopher Robin to lead, them to stations, they caught a few busses and trains.

Then they came to the airport, mistaken for toys, rode as luggage on one of the planes.

They avoided their air fares, and met Mr Disney, who said, "Well I need an idea

For the storyline in my next movie. Let's go film a Heffalump's noise from its rear."

Walt assembled a crew of producers, director and cameramen, all in the budget,

Titled "Winnie the Pooh & what Heffalumps do," and was sure he would never begrudge it.

It was money well spent, and with every good chance, in the cinemas they would recoup

On the cost of production and travel and location footage, where Heffalumps poop.

So all manner of munchable matter was purchased and taken to use as the bait

For enticing a Heffalump out. Would it eat, while Walt Disney and Pooh laid in wait?

They they saw from the bushes, with cameras concealed, how a Heffalump turned up to eat.

And they filmed all its dining, then turned off the cameras, until the next stage was complete.

They awaited digestion, and so like the Heffalump, all of them lay down to doze.

Each one dreamed of the outcome, and what it would do to the air which surrounded his nose.

They awoke to the sound of the Heffalump's grunting, with loads of its internal gas;

Started filming again, as that animal blasted it all out quite loudly en masse.

What came out was so loud and so breezy. It seemed that it made for a Blastery Day.

So the wood stank for hours and hours and hours until the smell drifted away.

Then the film was completed, with red hot burritos explaining how Tigger could bounce.

It broke box office records. Despite all that eating, our friends didn't put on an ounce.