"Damon? We have to go. Everyone's going to the Gilbert house for the memorial." Stefan's voice pulled Damon out of his thoughts, and the older brother found himself in front of Alaric Saltzman's grave, tears streaming down his face. His heart literally hurt from all the pain he was feeling. He lifted his head and smiled at his brother, something he was having to force himself to do lately. If Stefan wouldn't have listened to Elena in the lake and saved her instead of Matt Donovan, Damon's lover would still be alive. He didn't care if Alaric was a murderous vampire or not, at least he would be alive and at least Damon wouldn't have to hate his brother for the choices he made. Nonetheless, Stefan drove Damon's car from the cemetery, and Damon found himself lost in his thoughts again.

\\/

"I see you're still pissed." Damon said as he pressed "end" on his call with Elena. Alaric was standing in front of him, eyes blazing with hatred for everyone, and everything. "I take it Goldilocks gave you the slip?"

Without another second to spare, Alaric punched Damon in the jaw, hard. Not willing to ever hurt Alaric, Damon fell to the ground and let the younger vampire beat him. When Damon was bloody in the face, Alaric stopped and stood back up. "You're not gonna fight back?"

"You're kind of invincible, Ric." Damon's voice strained, and he hunched over himself on the ground.

"Don't call me that." Alaric kicked Damon in the ribs. "We're not friends, or lovers, or anything like that anymore."

A jab of hurt pierced through Damon's heart, if only for a split second. "We were, and you loved me once. I know you're still in there, and I'm going to break you out, no matter if it takes the rest of eternity."

"Well, our 'friendship' was part of the problem. It's what kept me weak. Sure, I loved you, but it wasn't real love. It was a fake, idealistic love, and it consumed me. That's also why it took so long for the real me to break through." Alaric bent over, making sure Damon was looking at him. "And now I'm gonna break you." He punched Damon again, the bloody man's head hitting the floor hard.

Damon felt tears welling in his eyes, but he pushed them back and glared at Alaric. "Is that all you've got?"

"Not quite." Alaric said, just as he raised his arm with the White Oak stake in hand. When he brought it down, Damon caught his arm, and pushed Alaric up, getting up in the process and finally swinging at the man. He hit Ric's face, causing him to stumble a little, but he came back and hit Damon twice as hard. They each struggled to gain control of the fight, and Damon's heart clenched every time he hit Alaric. After a few minutes, Alaric dropped the stake in his hand and looked at Damon, both of them gripping each other's shoulders. "What's happening?"

"What?"

"WHAT'S HAPPENING?" Alaric started choking, and he fell to his knees, crying out in pain and gasping for air.

"No, no, NO! Ric, no!" Damon held Alaric in his arms as the two men dropped on the floor. "Ric! RIC?! I fucking love you, don't die on me, Ric, PLEASE!" Alaric started desiccating, and Damon's heart sank into his stomach. "You are not dead, you are not dead! ALARIC, I LOVE YOU, YOU ARE NOT DEAD!"

Ric's body lay limp in Damon's arms as tears mixed with blood dripped on his face.

\\/

"Are you okay?"

Again, his brother's voice pulled him out of his thoughts. Damon sighed. "What do you think, Stefan? I'm going to my fucking dead boyfriend's memorial, where I have to limit the amount of tears I cry just like I did at the funeral because no one but you and Klaus knows about Alaric and me, and Klaus is dead. So, no, Stefan, I am not fucking okay." After that, Damon got out of the car and slammed the door a little too hard, causing the window to shatter. He ignored it, entering the Gilbert house and also ignoring Elena's half-hearted greeting. He went straight to the kitchen where he found the first bottle of alcohol he saw, which happened to be wine, and poured himself a glass. He gulped all of it down, then poured another glass, chugging that one as well. He did this two more times, until a hand took the bottle of wine away from him, the hand belonging to Elena. Damon rolled his eyes. "Give that back."

"No," She said. "I won't let you destroy yourself. Ric wouldn't have wanted you to do this."

"Ric would have done it with me, Elena. You have no idea what you're talking about, so just give me the wine and go away." His head was starting to swim, which relieved him a little.

Elena still wouldn't hand the bottle over. "How do I not know what I'm talking about? Alaric wouldn't want you to get drunk at his memorial, he wouldn't want you to start spiraling down because of his death."

"Elena, leave him be. I'll take care of him, just go tend to the guests." Stefan stepped beside Elena, taking the bottle of wine from her. With a sigh, she walked out of the kitchen, and Stefan returned the bottle to Damon, who skipped the glass altogether this time. "When are you going to tell Elena about you and Alaric?"

"When he comes back from the dead."

"Well, looks like you should get to that, because Alaric is right beside you." Elena's little brother Jeremy's voice came from behind Damon.

With a flutter of hope, Damon looked around, but saw nothing…only Jeremy. "Is this some kind of joke? You're not funny, Gilbert."

Jeremy laughed. "Not trying to be. Alaric is a ghost, I can see him."

"What-oh…" Damon slowly smiled, and he took another large swig out of the wine bottle. "So, Ric, do you feel bad for beating me up yet?"

There was a short pause while Damon waited for Jeremy to answer. "He says no, because you hit him too."

Damon's heart skipped a beat, suddenly filled with happiness. He was talking to Alaric, even though Ric was dead and Damon was alive.

Before Damon could say anything else, though, Stefan spoke. "I take it Alaric told you about he and Damon?"

"Just a few minutes ago, when Damon came in and started drinking." Jeremy said, looking at Damon. "He said he wished you weren't trying to drink him away, but he can't stop you."

"Damn right he can't." Damon went to drink more wine, but the bottle was knocked out of his hand by some sort of invisible force. Luckily, Stefan caught the bottle before it hit the floor, and Damon started laughing. "Okay, Ric, fine. But FYI, dead stuff, I'm not trying to drink you away. I'm drinking the pain of losing you away." Tears filled his eyes as he exited the kitchen. Somehow, he could smell Alaric all around him, and it was making his heart hurt again. He pushed through people and made his way up the stairs, bursting into Alaric's bedroom and slamming the door shut. He sat on the bed and put his head in his hands as he let more and more tears stream down his cheeks. The vampire was filled with so much fury, pain, and sadness, but he had no idea how to let it all out. He looked up at the bedside table and saw a picture of the two of them. His heart clenched, and he picked up the frame, throwing it across the room. It hit the wall and shattered. Damon couldn't help but think how his heart had shattered into a million pieces, too.

Suddenly, the door opened, but no one was on the other side. A small gush of air flowed around Damon as he sat on the bed, and the room started to smell like Alaric. Damon wiped the tears from his face, and spoke to no one he could see. "I miss you, Ric." What felt like a warm hand brushed across his cheek, and a soft warmth tingled on his lips. That made Damon yearn for Alaric's touch, his kiss, his everything. "You have no idea how much I wish you could actually kiss me right now." The warm tingle moved from Damon's lips to his cheek, then his jaw, and ended on his neck. The vampire closed his eyes and lay back on the bed, breathing in Alaric's scent, and letting the man's ghost kiss him everywhere.