The Perfect Goodbye
Author's Note: This story comes from book three of the Twilight series, Eclipse. After the battle with the newborn vampires, Bella must say goodbye to Jacob after realizing she was in love with him but that it just was not enough to stay. Jacob put it succinctly when he said that Bella's love for Edward was like an eclipse, shadowing Jacob's sun. I, for one, was not totally in love with how the goodbye ended and I envisioned a very different farewell taking place between the two of them. Thank you for reading and please feel free to leave a comment!
Warning: Bella/Jacob graphic one shot. Lemons!
"What's the worst part for you?" Jacob asked.
"I think that one will hurt," I said after a moment.
"C'mon," he asks, "tell me."
I sigh and respond, "I think the worst part for me is that I do love you and I can see what our being together would mean. I see our whole future before my eyes and yet, it isn't enough. I love him more. I'm sorry."
"Yeah, I know," he said without much inflection in his voice. I could feel the weight of what I said sinking in to him; breaking him. I moved to get up from where I sat on the bed, my back leaning into his chest with his good left arm slung around my shoulder and our fingers intertwined. He strengthened his grip on me in an instant.
"Don't go yet. Please?" He asked. I glanced back at his face, pained at the situation and at the prospect of my leaving. "I really don't know when I'll see you gain. Don't leave just yet." His heart breaking made my heart break doubly. His pain was my pain. I bled for Jacob, looking into his pained expression.
All at once, the love I had for him swelled in me once again and I had a very strong urge to kiss him; to feel his hot breath on my face; to run my fingers through his thick, black hair. My head reflexively tried to reject these images and tried to replace them with thoughts of Edward instead. I took a deep breath, resolve suddenly in my heart and pushed thoughts of Edward away. I was in La Push. This was Jacob's turf, Edward did not belong here; not in La Push, not in this small comfortable room, and not here in Jacob's arms.
My eyes still locked on Jacob, I arched and strained my neck back, brining my face close to his. Our eyes slipped close as he leaned down and closed the distance between our lips. The kiss was short and sweet. A peck, really, and he began to pull away. Our eyes met and hung there. I tried my best to convey to him with my look that I was not quite done with his lips yet. I don't know if I pulled it off, but when I twisted around to face him on my knees, he did not stop me.
Taking his face into my hands, I leaned in again and planted a more firm and sure kiss on his warm lips. The kiss was soft at first, but built with more heat as Jacob began to understand my intentions. He wrapped his left arm around my waist, splaying his long fingers wide across the small of my back. A small whimper of desire escaped my lips as he pulled me closer to his chest and he responded with a moan of longing. Our kisses became urgent and deeper as I parted my lips to let my tongue graze his full lower lip. He responded by letting his slip through his parted lips and our tongues met. The delicious feeling of his tongue against mine was like an electric shock sending tingling vibrations deep into the core of my body.
Our breathing quickened with the ferocity of our kisses. My hands ran through his thick, shaggy hair, tugging it here and there, emphasizing it when I would pull his bottom lip through my teeth. He groaned again into my mouth and the sound was like a sweet torture to me. I swung my leg over his lap, straddling him, careful not to jostle the broken right half of his body. Jacob didn't seem very mindful of his infirmities however and his left arm ran up to the back of my neck and up into my hair.
I pulled my mouth from his and began to kiss down his neck. His skin was on fire and I was sure he would soon burst into flames. In my current state of mind, I wouldn't mind burning up with him when he did. His hand ran down my back and, after hesitating for a millisecond, ventured down to my butt. I began suckling his earlobe when he grabbed a greedy handful of my ass cheek. I gasped into his ear and reflexively ground my pelvis into his. A great wave of pleasure shot through me as his erection brushed against my clit. He brought his mouth to mine again, our kisses a burning crescendo, and groaned into my mouth.
"Oh, this feels so good," I thought to myself, my clit throbbing with desire as I ground against him again and again.
My hands ran down his bare chest, feeling the wide hard planes of his pectorals. I splayed my fingers wide and hungrily explored his body. I brushed my fingers across his nipples, enjoying the groan of pleasure I elicited as I did so, and then ran my hands across to his back where the large hot muscles of his back awaited.
Jacob began to kiss down my neck as his good hand ran up my waist and under my shirt. I shivered in pleasure as his fingers traced down my spine and his lips did unimaginable things to the skin of my jawline. He began to awkwardly try to pull my shirt up, meaning to remove it, but, one handedly, he was not succeeding. I pulled away from him and our eyes met. His expression sheepish, mine fiery. I pulled my shirt up over my head and tossed it to the side. Without breaking eye contact, I reached around and undid my bra as well. I let the straps slide down my arms slowly, watching his expression. It went from sheepish, to shock, to sheer lust as I slipped the cups from my breasts. I felt my nipples harden as they were exposed to the air, hot and sweaty as it was around us. He broke our eye contact and looked down. I felt the blood rush to my face, embarrassed all of the sudden, being so naked in front of him for the first time. A sexy smirk spread across his lips as he began to kiss down my neck again. He placed his hand on my left breast and massaged it playfully. Hunching forward, he kissed farther down my body to my breast, leaving a trail of scorching kisses on the way. A low moan of pleasure erupted from me as he took my pert nipple into his mouth and sucked it gently. The heat and wetness I felt in my groin matched his mouth on my body exactly. I ground my body against his reflexively, pulling his face closer to my bosom.
"Oh, Jacob," I sighed aloud, as my head fell back in ecstasy. I could feel his mouth curve into a smile around my breast. He kissed me again, letting his tongue explore my mouth. "Oh, what are you doing to me?" I thought in frenzy. "I'm going out of my mind!"
Our lips still locked, I trailed my hands down his chest, past the hills and valleys of his beautiful russet abs and to the waist of the ragged shorts he was wearing. I paused there, kissing him still, while I pondered what I dared do next. I considered the hunger building within me and envisioned his naked body beneath me. The hunger grew to an unbearable need as I then envisioned my naked body against his. With that, I slipped my thumbs down below their hem and began slipping them off of this body. With a little wiggling, effort, and giggles, I managed to remove his shorts. Chagrin battling with desire, I forced my gaze to land on his erection. It was the lovely russet color of his skin under a deep blush. Long and thick, it jutted up and away from a patch of black curly pubic hair. Desire won out over all my other emotions as I looked back up at Jacob, a smug smile set upon his face.
"Like what you see?" he laughed. I smiled seductively back at him, wiping all humor off his face. Without a second thought, I unzipped my jeans and removed them along with my underwear, suddenly glad it wasn't laundry day and I actually had on a cute pair. His eyes took in my naked appearance and he reached for me. I came to him, straddling him again, and kissed him hard. His hand ran down my bare body, gripping my ass, but not lingering there. Instead, he ventured toward my mound of soft curls and pressed a hot thumb against my exposed clitoris. I moaned instantly into his mouth at the pleasure he elicited. As Jacob began tracing circles around my engorged clit, I allowed my hands to explore his body as well. My right hand made it to his cock, hard and impatient. Now it was his turn to groan with pleasure as I gripped his erection and slowly ran my hand up and down the length of it.
Our heavy breathing increased as we pleasured each other; our kisses grew frantic and frenzied. Breaking our kiss, I looked into Jacob's eyes with nothing on my mind except for uninhibited lust. With his cock still in hand, I brought my body closer to his and nestled its head in the wetness of my virgin folds. He placed his hand on my hip as I slowly lowered onto his hot erection, never breaking eye contact. I exhaled with the delicious feeling of having every inch of him filling me up and stretching my opening. There was some pain, but it was a good pain, a delicious pain. I thought again of my earlier thoughts, "His pain was my pain." Well now, his pleasure was my pleasure.
I began to ride him, raising up on my knees and slowly lowering myself onto him again. Eyebrows knitted, my mouth fell open with how amazing each stroke felt and his expression mirrored my own. When our eyes met, he leaned forward and kissed me, his mouth crashing on mine, as I rode his cock. The steady rhythm I had started was soon joined and met by Jacob, so that it wasn't only me riding him, but rather me lifting myself up and Jacob bringing me back down onto him. Moans of pleasure escaped our lips as our rhythm increased, faster at first and then harder until he was slamming me down on his cock. Reaching down, I began to rub my clit as we writhed on his small bed. I threw my head back and locked my free arm around his neck as I began gasping with the pleasure of massaging my sensitive clit and impaling myself onto Jacob. His groans became thick with effort as he quickened the pace of slamming my body down on his.
"Oh, Jacob," I squealed as the first waves of my orgasm rippled through my body.
"Bella," was all he could breathe out before he came, emptying hot, thick jets of seed into me. Wave after delicious wave of my orgasm broke over me with each spurt of Jake's orgasm. His pleasure was my pleasure. My pleasure was his.
Our bodies, rippling and quivering in tandem, ceased all other movement. Our heavy breathing and pounding hearts were all that could be heard. I slumped against his sweaty chest as our breathing slowed. His left arm wrapped around me in a bear tight hug. With a sigh, I slid off his lap, feeling him slide out of me. I kissed him again, but with less fervor now; sweetly. We settled down in the bed, with my head on his chest. I listened to his heartbeat and realized it was my second favorite sound in the world… and with that thought Edward came back into my mind. His voice would always be my number one favorite sound. I realized I would never have a beating heart beneath my ear like I did now. It still didn't sway my decision, but it was nice to be here, snuggled up to Jacob like this with the last waves of my orgasm subsiding. I turned my head and planted a kiss on his chest, just over his heart and sighed again.
"You have to go now, don't you?" Jacob whispered, his fingers entwined in my hair.
"Yes," I whispered back and frowned. Tears, the first of many, built up behind my eyes.
"I love you," Jacob said. "Nothing will ever change that."
"I love you, too," I told him, letting the tears fall onto his beautiful russet skin.
As I shut the door behind me twenty minutes later and headed for my truck, I thought that giving myself to him—giving Jacob my virginity—was the perfect goodbye.